Chapter 18
18
PAIGE
I took a sip of the water from the cup on my hospital tray before setting it back down. Lanie had been here but had to leave for about an hour, and then she promised she’d be back. It had only been about a day and a half since that jackass attacked me, but they were going to discharge me this afternoon. Apparently, I passed all the tests they were the most concerned about, and they said all I needed now was rest.
But I was scared to leave.
I hadn't told anyone I was scared, instead putting on a brave face, but the knowledge that he was still out there was terrifying. What if he came back to finish the job? The police still hadn’t found him, so it was a very real possibility. Lanie had been begging me to stay with her and Jake, but they had a son, and I couldn’t bring the possibility of danger to their doorstep.
When the door pushed open, I expected to see Lanie, but instead, I saw the one person I didn’t want to see and at the same time wanted to see more than anyone.
Cole stopped at the end of the bed and jammed his hands into his pockets. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I answered, but my voice was weak and raspy. The doctor said it was because of the pressure Lewis had applied when trying to choke me. It would go away, but it would take time to heal.
Everything would get better in time.
I was already tired of hearing that.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I said.
He looked around the room. “It’s a little dark in here, isn’t it?”
I’d asked the nurse to shut the blinds on the windows, and they’d dimmed the lights around my bed. “The light was bothering me.”
“I can’t sleep with lights on either.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
I didn’t feel like explaining that it had nothing to do with sleeping. My head hurt almost constantly, and the light made it ten times worse, but I didn’t want to complain to Cole. I didn’t want to complain to anyone because I didn’t like being hovered over.
Even more, I didn’t like feeling vulnerable.
He took a few steps closer until he could lean his leg against the side of my bed. “Have the police found him yet?”
He didn’t know. In my mind, Cole cared enough to follow up with the police department and his family, but that was crazy. We hadn’t spoken in a week, and neither of us was making any effort, so why the hell would he care enough to check on me and my case?
“No,” I answered simply.
“Do you have any idea where he might be hiding?”
“No.” I shook my head and attempted to hide the wince from that one small movement, but it was obvious he caught it.
“Are you okay?”
“I just have a headache, that’s all.”
“Is that normal?”
“Yeah,” I explained. “The doctor said I’ll probably get them for a while.”
I watched his eyes scan my face and knew what he saw. It was exactly what I saw this morning in the bathroom mirror. I looked like hell. My face was swollen, my left eye was black and blue, and my lip was split. I looked like I’d been in a hell of a fight and lost, which was exactly what happened.
Trying to lighten the mood, I gestured to my face. “I lost.”
“No, you didn’t.” His expression was serious. “You won, but it pisses me off that you ever had to fight hard enough to get those bruises. It shouldn’t have happened.”
I ran my fingers over the stiff blanket covering me. “I made a bad decision. I went out with someone I didn’t know.”
“It was a blind date. People do it all the time. You had no way of knowing who he was if he lied to you.”
“Yeah,” I agreed but didn't really believe that. It was obvious by his expression that he saw right through me.
“Why are you beating yourself up over that?”
I didn’t want to have this conversation with Cole. I didn’t want to have it with anyone. I’d lived my life impulsively, assuming nothing bad would happen to me, but my mom warned me when I was a teenager that something eventually would. I hated that she was right. It was why my parents would never know this happened. Because as much as I loved them and knew they loved me, they would never stop reminding me of this bad decision.
“I’m not,” I lied again and gestured toward him. “It was nice of you to stop by.”
His eyebrows rose. “You throwin’ me out?”
“Honestly, Cole, I’m just not sure why you’re here.” I blinked slowly, my head beginning to throb again. “Is it to lecture me?”
He closed his eyes for a moment before moving closer and sitting down in the chair beside my bed. Then he leaned over the bed rail and wrapped his hand around mine. “I don’t know how I fucked this up so badly. At some point, you got the impression that I think you’re stupid or careless or maybe even inadequate. I’m sorry for that.” I blinked when tears filled my eyes, not wanting them to fall, and he continued. “I somehow had the impression you thought you were too good for me. It’s fucking crazy we let that shit go on, but we did. We’re not doing that anymore.”
My eyes widened, surprised that he was talking about this. “We’re not?”
He grinned slightly. “No, we’re not. That’s over. We’re starting fresh today. No more misunderstandings, no more judgment, no more hiding behind frustration and anger.”
I smiled softly. “I don’t know how to be around you without all of those things.”
He chuckled, and the sound washed over me, making me feel a little lighter. “We’ll figure it out.” He looked around the room. “We just need to get you out of this place first and get back to yourself.”
“That might take a while.”
“I’m patient.” He squeezed my hand. “What can I do to help? Because not helping isn’t really my style.”
“That seems to be a Dimarco trait,” I teased.
“It probably is,” he agreed with a smile.
I smiled. “Can you find Paul Lewis?”
“Trust me, I’m trying,” he answered seriously.
My eyebrows drew together. “I was kidding.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Don’t look for him, Cole,” I warned, suddenly afraid of what could happen to him if he found Paul. “He’s dangerous. Just let the police find him. He can’t hide forever.”
He squeezed my hand gently. “You worried about me?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “He’s unpredictable. I never saw it coming. I thought he was just an asshole, but he didn’t seem dangerous.”
“I’ll be okay,” he said in a way I knew I wasn’t convincing him. “Luke said you’re having a hard time remembering everything that happened.”
So he did talk to Luke about this. I wondered why he asked me for information about the case. Maybe he hadn’t talked to him since the night in the emergency room. I heard Cole was there with a lot of the Dimarcos, but I never saw him that night. To be fair, though, I only remembered seeing Luke and Lanie, but even those memories were fuzzy.
“Yeah, the doctor said my memory might take some time to return, if it ever does.” I ran my fingertips over the sheet. “I get memories in little blips. It’s weird. I’m not sure how to piece it all together.”
“You’ll get there.” He ran his thumb over the top of my hand. “Just don’t force it. I doubt that will help.”
When the door pushed open, we both shifted our attention and watched as Lanie walked in, followed closely by Jake.
Her eyebrows rose. “Are we interrupting?”
“No,” I said at the same time Cole answered, “Yes.”
I heard Jake laugh as he moved to stand by the footboard, but my attention was on Cole, who was also laughing. I could watch him laugh for hours and not get tired of it. Jake tapped his fingers against the footboard of my bed. “I heard we’re breaking you out.”
“That’s right.”
“You’re staying with us,” Jake said.
“No, I’m not.” I held up my hand when he began to argue. “I’ll rest better at my house.”
“It’s not safe,” Lanie said from the foot of the bed.
“I’ll be fine,” I said with as much conviction as I could muster. “Luke was in this morning and said they’ll have police on my street until they catch him. Plus, he said he talked to the police detective at the Cranberry station, and when I go back to work in a few days, they’ll have cops patrolling there too.”
Lanie frowned. “I’m just worried about you.”
“I know, but I promise if anything weird happens, I’ll call Luke right away.”
“If you change your mind...”
I smiled. “I’ll call you. I promise.”
Lanie sighed. “Okay. Since I know you as well as I do, I know I won’t change your mind.” She gestured toward the bathroom. “Will you at least let me help you get changed into the clothes I brought for you?”
“Yeah.” I smiled softly.
She pointed at the door. “Can you guys wait outside?”
Jake nodded and gestured to Cole, who was watching me closely. He hesitated, but when Lanie pulled clothes from the bag she held in her hands, he squeezed my hand one more time before releasing it and standing. “I’ll see you soon.”
I smiled, but I didn’t believe him.
I wanted to, but fear and doubt guided my emotions now.
I was leaving this hospital with the knowledge I was on my own.
And for the first time in my life, being on my own scared the hell out of me.