Chapter 24
24
COLE
She was in my space. I hadn’t lived with anyone since I left home, and that was a hell of a long time ago. I never even brought women home. Instead, I usually went to their place. But having Paige in my space felt right, like she was meant to be there, and I refused to consider why that thought made me happy.
She was in awe over what Bree and the girls were able to do in the bedroom with so little time. My apartment wasn’t much, but she’d looked at it like it was a palace, and maybe for her and where she was in her life right now, it was. After all, she craved security, and I could give her that.
I’d left her in her room to unpack that night, but after a couple of hours, I knocked on her closed door. When she didn’t answer, I opened the door and peered in to find her sound asleep on the bed. Crossing the room, I threw a blanket over her that I found on the chair in the corner, closed her door, and left. She needed sleep. It was obvious she hadn’t been getting much.
She wasn’t awake Sunday morning when I got up, so I checked on her again. She was still sleeping, so I got dressed and went to the garage. I hadn’t planned on being down there most of the day, but I got invested in a job and lost track of time. When I finally went back upstairs, she was sitting on the couch, watching a movie and eating a bowl of soup. I told her I was grabbing a shower, and she smiled. A real smile. One I hadn’t seen in a long time. She also had some color in her face, and the gray beneath her eyes had faded some.
After I was done, I sat on the other end of the couch and watched the rest of the movie with her before deciding I was hungry and heading into the kitchen. We hadn’t talked much, just commented a few times on the movie, and I had a feeling she needed a little time to adjust. It was awkward between us as we were both figuring out how to navigate our new situation.
It wasn’t long before she wandered into the kitchen, where I’d just finished eating a sandwich and was drinking a beer. I lifted the bottle and grinned. “Want one?”
“I can’t.” She shrugged. “Not with the medicine I’m taking right now.”
I knew she was taking medicine, but I didn’t know what for, and I didn’t ask. She didn’t seem to want to talk about it too much, so I was letting her set the pace and tell me things as she felt comfortable. This was another example of how new this territory was for both of us, considering how strained our relationship used to be.
“Are you still hungry?”
“No, thanks. The soup was enough.”
“Are you sure?” I pointed at the refrigerator. “I talked to Lanie, and she told me stuff you like, so there’s shit in the refrigerator and the cabinets.” I faced her when she didn’t move from just inside the kitchen doorway. “Just root around until you find something you want.”
“You asked Lanie what I like to eat?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, but I couldn’t read her expression. Paige used to be an open book. I knew when I pissed her off, knew when she was having a good time, and knew when she was turned on, which I refused to think about now that she was living with me, but lately, I couldn’t read her. It was as if she was wearing a mask. She was cautious with her expressions and her words.
“Thank you, but I’m really tired.” She pointed behind her. “I think I’m just going to go to bed.”
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything.”
She nodded. “Are you going back to work?”
She swallowed hard. Her only sign now that she was uncomfortable. I hadn’t planned on returning to the garage, and that decision proved right when I saw the concern on her face. I wondered if it was because it was dark out now. Was that what she was afraid of? “No. I’m done for the night.”
Her shoulders dropped, and she smiled. “Night, Cole.”
“Night,” I replied, but she’d already turned and was heading toward the bedrooms.
I ran my hand over the back of my neck but then felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Reaching down, I grabbed it and read the text.
Bailey: Well……?
She was just as worried as I was about Paige and held a little guilt, though she shouldn’t. There was no way she could’ve known how dangerous Paul Lewis was when he went after her on the jobsite. None of this was her fault, but she didn’t see it that way, and he’d hurt her friend. Bailey would carry guilt for a long time.
Me: Well, she’s here.
Bailey: That’s a huge relief.
Me: She didn’t even fight me.
Bailey: I think Dad’s right. She’s scared, but she hides it well.
That was true for everyone else but not me. She let me see the fear she felt in her own home. Hopefully, she’ll start to trust me enough to show me more so I can help her through it.
When I didn’t answer right away, Bailey continued.
Bailey: Did she like her room?
Me: Loved it.
Bailey: Don’t tell Bree. She doesn’t need more shit going to her head.
Chuckling, I nodded in agreement even though I was alone.
Me: Night, Bay.
Bailey: Night .
I finished the last swallow of beer before throwing the bottle in the recycling bin. I checked the lock on the door and turned off the lights before heading to my own bed. Maybe I’d watch some TV. I wasn’t tired yet, but I didn’t want to make too much noise and wake Paige, considering she was finally getting some sleep.
I changed into shorts and a T-shirt, which was unusual for me, but I didn’t want to run into Paige on my way to the bathroom in only my underwear. Considering the bathroom was between the two bedrooms, that was a very real possibility, so I made the decision last night that I would need to sleep in something, even if it was only shorts. I went into the bathroom and smiled when I saw her toothbrush in the holder beside mine. A warm feeling flooded my chest when I looked around and saw her shampoo and conditioner in the shower and a small bag on the sink. I could only assume that was the rest of her stuff since it sure as hell wasn’t mine. It even smelled like her in here, and I attributed that to the lotion I saw shoved into the corner of the counter.
I brushed my teeth and headed back to my room, not even pausing outside her closed door, no matter how much I wanted to. There was this need in me to protect her, and it was a new emotion for me. I’d never felt this way for another woman outside of my family, but I did with Paige, and that wasn’t only since she was attacked.
I turned on the TV in my room, careful to keep it low so it wouldn’t bother her, and flipped through the channels. I found a hockey game and settled in, enjoying this little bit of downtime I didn’t afford myself very often.
I startled when I heard a noise and sat up, blinking at the clock on my nightstand. 3:00 a.m. I guess I was more tired than I thought, considering I’d been watching the game and didn’t remember seeing much of it. Rubbing my hand over my eyes, one glance at the TV told me it was the time of night for infomercials. I could buy a new set of knives for only $19.99 if I ordered now. I had to wonder how many insomniacs were buying those knives. I could see how it would be alluring in the middle of the night. Smirking, I grabbed the remote and turned it off before lying back down.
I’d just closed my eyes when I heard the noise again, only louder this time. Throwing the covers off me, I walked out of my bedroom and stood still. Now that I was in the hallway, I recognized the sound immediately. The bathroom door was closed, and Paige’s door was open, confirming what I knew I was listening to.
Lifting my hand, I was about to knock when I hesitated. Would she want anyone to see her vomiting? It only took a few seconds to push that thought aside. She needed someone, and I planned to be that person. I knocked once, but when I didn’t hear anything, I twisted the knob and opened the door a crack.
“Paige?”
She didn’t answer, so I pushed the door open farther, and my gut clenched. She was lying over the toilet, her cheek on the seat, eyes closed, and she was almost as white as the toilet itself.
Hurrying to her, I squatted and put my hand on her back. Her eyes flew open, but then she closed them just as quickly.
“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.”
She opened her mouth but then moaned and rolled her face to the toilet, where she began vomiting again. I gently pulled her hair away from her face and held it in one hand while rubbing her back with the other. Vomiting sucked. There was no better way to describe what it felt like other than pure hell. I knelt beside her and stayed there until she was finished and rolled her head to lay her cheek against the seat again. Thank God I cleaned the bathroom yesterday. Otherwise, I’d feel worse for her than I already did.
Reaching up, I flushed the toilet and stood. I grabbed a washcloth from the linen closet and wet it with cool water. Squatting back down, I ran it over her forehead.
She sighed, and her eyes fluttered open. When she attempted to lift her head as if she was going to move, I stopped her. “What are you doing?”
“I need my pills,” she answered, but it was so weak I almost didn’t hear her.
“I’ll get them,” I replied, careful to keep my voice low. “Where are they?”
She didn’t fight me, which told me how bad she felt. “Purse.”
“Be right back.” I stood and found her purse on her dresser. Taking that, I moved quickly to the kitchen, found the ginger ale Lanie told me to buy because Paige liked it, and poured some into a glass. I had no idea if that would help, but I was desperate to find anything to give her some relief.
I went back to the bathroom and knelt on the floor. “Drink this.”
Her eyes fluttered open again, and she slowly lifted her head. I handed her the glass, and she took a few sips while I talked. “Which pills do you need?”
“Migraine,” she answered simply.
I dug through until I found the ones that said take for migraines. “How many?”
“Just one.”
I opened the bottle, shook one free, and handed it to her. She took it immediately and drank a little more than last time.
“Thank you.”
I put the lid back on the bottle and sat down. When she laid her head against the toilet seat, I lifted my hand and rubbed her back. “How long does it take to work?”
“Not long,” she whispered.
I saw the washcloth was on her leg, got up, rinsed it and held it to her head. She sighed, and her shoulders began to relax.
“How often do you get these?”
“A lot,” she answered but didn’t open her eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the light coming from the night-light or if it just hurt to open them.
“Do you think you’re done vomiting?”
“Yeah,” she answered.
She had to be weak after that, and it made me so angry to think about how many nights she probably slept on her bathroom floor because she couldn’t make it to the bed or, from what I saw, the couch.
I took the cloth from her head and threw it in the sink before squatting. Sliding one hand around her back and the other under her legs, I slowly lifted her, but her eyes flew open. “What are you doing?”
“You’re not sleeping on the fucking floor,” I growled.
She didn’t fight me and only closed her eyes while I carried her to her room. She was light, lighter than she’d been when I lifted her against the wall only a couple of weeks ago, and that pissed me off too. She needed to start eating more if she was ever going to get her strength back.
I laid her on the bed and pulled her blankets over her. She whispered a thank you but didn’t open her eyes. I sat down on the side of the bed and waited until I heard her breathing even out. With an exhale, some of the tension I’d felt over the past thirty minutes left me, knowing she wasn’t in pain anymore.
I could’ve left.
She was better than she was when I found her in the bathroom.
I could’ve gone back to my room and gotten some sleep.
But instead, I moved to sit on the floor against the wall by her closet.
I needed to be near her, and I no longer cared what that said about my feelings for Paige.