Chapter 38
38
PAIGE
He hasn’t touched me. At all. Not in weeks. I took a stance three weeks ago, and he respected that, but now I wish I hadn’t. I never realized how many times during the day he would touch my hand or my arm until he stopped doing any of it. I friend zoned him, and because Cole’s a good guy, he firmly planted himself there, but I didn’t want the divide between us anymore.
Sighing, I slid the dress over my head and stared at myself in the mirror. I looked like me, which sounded like a crazy thing to say, but for about two months, I didn’t see myself when I looked in the mirror. I saw someone broken and afraid, and I hated it, but not anymore. I had Cole to thank for a lot of it and Hazel. Cole gave me a safe place to heal, and Hazel gave me something to focus on besides my fears.
Tonight, I was going to do something I hadn’t done in a while, and it was scary. Cole’s sisters invited me and Lanie to meet them at Hank’s for a drink. I wouldn’t have even thought about it a couple of months ago. I would’ve said yes immediately, but I hesitated when Harper asked, and Cole saw that, considering she was visiting the kittens when she came up with the idea. I could feel his eyes on me, and when I met his stare, he immediately jerked up his chin, faced his sister, and said he was going too. She argued but then conceded when he explained we still didn’t know where Paul Lewis was, and it wasn’t safe for me to be out. Hank’s was safe. The bouncer at the door had a picture of Paul Lewis and wouldn’t let him in, but it was the parking lots that concerned the guys, so he said he’d get Jake to go, and they’d hang out at the bar, but they’d be there to get us home safely. The old me would’ve rolled my eyes and refused, convinced I didn’t need anyone, but that wasn’t how I felt anymore. Now I realized there was safety in numbers, and the more people with me, the safer I felt.
Although I would’ve gone with only Cole and felt perfectly safe, which proved how much I’d changed over the last month.
“Paige, you about ready?”
I smiled when I heard Cole’s voice through my closed bedroom door. I loved living with him, but I especially loved our dynamic. I refused to even think about how I’d feel when I would eventually leave.
“Yeah,” I called out. “Just a sec.”
With one last glance, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Giving myself a silent pep talk, I bent down and rubbed my hand over Hazel’s head, smiling again when she purred. I watched the kittens run around the enclosure we had for them, but I realized we would have to give them free rein in the apartment soon. They were getting too big and needed more room to run and play. “We’ll be back soon.”
Crossing the room, I pulled open the door and left it that way so Hazel could come and go from my room. She was able to jump over the top of the enclosure, but the kittens couldn’t just yet. Although, with as fast as they were growing, that would be soon.
I walked through the living room and into the kitchen just as Cole turned. His eyes slid slowly down my body, and I knew what he saw. I wasn’t wearing a cute sundress like I wore to work or even to Jake and Lanie’s. My dress was black and snug, only coming to mid-thigh. It tied around my neck, leaving my back bare. Pair that with the black heels I was wearing, and Cole was probably having a flashback of how I used to dress to go out.
His eyes heated, and I swallowed hard, but he didn’t make a move toward me. I noticed he wore jeans and a nice shirt, but something seemed different about him.
“You good?” I asked him for the first time. He was usually the one asking me that question.
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat.
“If you don’t want to go...”
“No, I want to.” He pointed at the door. “But we should get going. I’m sure everyone is already there. Harper will start calling.”
“You’re right.” I grinned. “Oh wait, my purse.”
“Do you need it?”
“I need my wallet.”
“I got you.”
“I can pay my own way.”
He scratched the back of his neck. “Even if I agreed to that, which I wouldn’t, Jake would pick up the tab, and you’d have him to fight with, so just make it easy and let me do it.”
“Are you paying for your sisters?”
“Probably.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I just always have. I guess it’s from watching my dad do it, although if Bree shows up, she’ll fight me on it.”
“Good thing you don’t go out a lot.” My eyebrows lifted. “Especially with Harper. You’d be broke.”
He chuckled. “You’re probably right.”
“Still, I need my purse for my license and lip gloss.”
He held out his hand, palm up. “Just give them to me. I’ll put them in my pocket.”
I plucked my purse from the hook behind the door and grabbed both things. “I don’t think anyone has ever offered to carry my stuff.” I handed him my lip gloss and license but kept my phone in my hand. “Thanks.”
He only jerked up his chin before gesturing toward the door. “Ready?”
I nodded and followed him outside. We were in his truck and headed to New Hope when he spoke again. “I’ll probably have to work this weekend.”
I turned my head to study the side of his face. “Why? I thought you were caught up.”
“We are,” he admitted, although he still hadn’t looked at me. “But I need to do some bookkeeping shit.”
“I can do that,” I offered.
“I want to get it out of the way this weekend.”
“Well, I can at least help you.”
He shook his head. “I think I should do it. I haven’t even looked at orders or receipts in months. I don’t have any idea what’s coming in versus what’s going out. I feel out of the loop.”
“No wonder you worked alone for so many years,” I teased.
He glanced at me before facing the road again. “What do you mean?”
I grinned. “You’re a control freak.”
He chuckled. “Maybe a little.”
“Still, I’d like to help if I can.” I hesitated, wanting to share more with him but unsure if now was the time. Deciding to just rip the Band-Aid off, I went for it. “I was actually going to talk to you about that.”
He once again glanced at me, and I saw the confusion in his expression. “About what?”
“About my job.” I cleared my throat. “I really like it. I feel useful, and I like dealing with the customers.”
“The customers love you,” he admitted. “And you’re good at what you do. I know I can leave it to you and trust it’s been taken care of.”
His sincerity caused a warmth to fill me. “I was hoping you might consider keeping me on after my life isn’t such a shit show, and I move into my own place again.”
“I have no plans of letting you go.”
I ignored the feelings that one little statement stirred in me, knowing he was referring to me professionally. But that didn't mean my heart didn’t want him to also be talking about our personal relationship. “That’s a relief.”
“Good.” His voice dropped. “Because I don’t know what I’d do without you now that I’ve had you.”
He glanced my way before once again facing the road. I didn’t have a quick comeback for that, and I usually did. Everything I used to do, all the flirty comebacks, felt hollow and insincere with him. Looking out the passenger window, I watched the scenery pass, shaded by darkness, and smiled. I was changing, and I liked the person I was becoming. I’d felt stronger and more confident lately and knew that had everything to do with the support system I was building around myself. I chuckled to myself when I remembered how I used to think Cole thought very little of me. Knowing him as I do now, I realized he wasn’t judgmental at all. In fact, he was one of the most accepting people I’d ever known.
When my phone beeped, I looked down and saw a text from Bridget.
Do you have time to grab a coffee or something tonight?
“Everything okay?”
My head snapped up, and I glanced at Cole when he spoke. “Yeah. Why?”
“You made a humming noise after you read that text.”
“Oh.” I sighed. “It’s Bridget asking if I want to go for coffee or something. I feel bad telling her no since she doesn’t know many people.”
“Tell her where we’re going tonight. See if she wants to meet us there.”
“Yeah, I could do that.”
He snorted. “No better way to meet people than by starting with my sisters.”
I laughed and lifted my phone, already texting her. It only took a minute before she responded.
“What did she say?”
“She’s coming.”
“Good.” He nodded. “It has to be tough moving to a new town without any family or friends.”
“Yeah, I can’t imagine doing that. When I came to North Carolina, I at least had Lanie.”
“Did you miss your family when you left?”
“A little,” I replied. “But we aren’t very close. I mean, I love my family, but I’m not sad to live away from them.”
“Any particular reason you aren’t close?”
“Not really.” I stared at the side of his face. “You do know that your family, hell, all of the Dimarcos, are kind of odd, right? Most families don’t spend all of their time together like you guys do.”
He chuckled. “Actually, I grew up thinking they did. It wasn’t until I was out on my own that I realized our family is a little odd.”
I smiled when he glanced at me. “But you love it.”
“Yeah, even though they’re in my business all the time, I can’t imagine not having them.”
“You’re lucky to have them.”
“You have them too, you know.” He smirked. “Whether you want them or not.”
“I wouldn’t have wanted that.” I shared what occurred to me after his family came to the apartment. “A few months ago, I would’ve probably pushed them away. I liked my independence, but recently, I don’t know, I like knowing I have so many people looking out for me.”
He reached over and wrapped his hand around mine. “Having people in your corner doesn’t take away your independence. They’re just there to champion you while you take on the world.”
“I’m starting to see that,” I admitted quietly.
Linking our fingers, I settled back into my seat, unwilling to let go of the hand of my biggest champion.