Chapter 25
25
T he picture goes through, and I smile.
Me: Sweet dreams.
Jack: Christ, you’re torturing me. Jesus hell, you are so fucking beautiful. It’s not fair to make me hard like this.
Me: No one ever said I played fair.
I click on the picture and unsend the photo now that I know he’s seen it. I won’t let him keep it. The picture pops like a bubble bursting on my screen, and it’s gone. Like it never existed. That’s how he’ll be to me.
It was my fuck you to the universe. To all men.
Jack: You have no idea how difficult it is not to break down the wall between our apartments. The picture would have been just for me. You didn’t have to delete it.
Me: Yes, I did. Pictures have to be earned. Now let me go to sleep.
Jack: Except we both know you’re not simply going to sleep. Which one of your pretty toys were you planning to use while you thought about me?
Me: I’m not going to be thinking about you.
Jack: Wren, do me a favor and don’t lie to me when it’s just us like this. You’re going to be thinking about me. Just as I’m going to be thinking about your pretty tits and smart mouth and perfect cunt when I jerk off.
Ho-lee-shit!
Jack: I hate that I can’t punish you for what you did earlier.
Me: You can’t. No spankings tonight.
Even if the thought makes me squirm and clench.
Me: Which toy should I use?
Jack: Fingers only. Toys, like pictures, have to be earned, and that’s how I’ll punish you.
I’m sweating. Like, legit already sweating. And my nipples are so hard. How can I be this turned on when he’s not here and has barely said anything? I shouldn’t do this with him, but I already know I am, and so does he. We can pretend it’s not real. It’s texting. He’s not here, and I’m not there, and he’s not actually touching or watching me.
Either way, I don’t care enough to stop.
Me: Fingers only then. Now what?
Jack: Now take off your panties for me.
Me: Already done.
Jack: Good girl. Are you already wet for me too?
Oh, I’m wet for him. I don’t even have to check.
Me: Yes, I’m wet for you.
Jack: Good because this is making me so fucking hard. I’d give anything to be there right now. To tie you up. To have you dripping and begging for my mouth and cock.
I’m so close to telling him to. So. Close. But then what? What happens after that? He leaves because there is too much against us, and I can’t keep playing this game. This is already crossing lines I’ll likely regret tomorrow.
Me: Same. Definitely the same to all of that. But you’re staying on your side of the wall, and I’m staying on mine.
Jack: Agreed. So now that we’ve established that, start playing with your pretty tits for me. I want your nipples hard as I imagine sucking on them. I’m going to be getting myself off too. Not just you.
I prop myself up on my pillow and pull my blanket back so my body is exposed. I stare down at myself in the dark for a moment, picturing Jack’s eyes and the way he looks at me when I’m naked for him like this. My free hand comes up, and I cup the underside of my breast that far from fills up my hand. It feels so good, and I’m already moaning with anticipation.
Me: You’re making me throb. My nipples are so hard, Jack. I’m rubbing them now, and it feels so good.
Wait. Did I just porn-voice him with that? Is that weird? Fuck it. Who cares.
Jack: Pull on them, baby. Pinch them. Make it hurt a little. Remember, you were a bad girl today at work, and I’m punishing you for it.
Fuck. Fuck! My back arches, and I do just as he tells me to. I pinch and roll my nipples until it hurts so good I can’t stand it any longer.
Me: I like being your bad girl. I like making you angry and all fired up.
Jack: You’re impossibly good at it.
Jack: I’m kissing your mouth and I have you pinned beneath me. I trail kisses and bites down your body until I capture one of your perfect tits in my mouth. You see, that’s why I like your small tits. Because I can fit all of it in my mouth, and it makes you moan so hard. But I’m starting to get greedy. I don’t just want to know what your tits taste like. I don’t only want to eat them.
Me: No? What else?
Jack: I want to taste your cunt. Your ass. Do you know how perfect you were with that toy in you? I’ve made myself come so many times since Saturday picturing that plug in your ass wishing it was my cock.
Me: My ass is a virgin. That was the first thing I’ve ever put in there.
Jack: Are you fucking serious? Tell me you don’t mean that.
Me: I do.
Jack: Jesus, Wren, I nearly just came from that. You’re telling me I had that too?
Me: No. We’re not doing that, remember.
Jack: Right. But I was the first one. Like I was the last time for you, even if it wasn’t my cock. Did you like it?
Me: Yes. I loved it.
Jack: Christ, I’m going to blow my load in two seconds here.
And I’m dead. Like seriously dead. Whether that’s hyperbole or not, it’s working. My hand slides down my body, and my fingers linger directly above my clit. It’s pulsing, and my empty core is aching to be filled. Yet it feels like I can’t touch myself without him telling me to.
Me: I want to touch myself. Please, can I touch myself?
Jack: Oh, gorgeous Wren. Where? Be specific. I’ll let you have it since you asked so perfectly.
Me: My pussy. I want to touch it. Fuck it. Rub it.
I need to whether he tells me I can or not. It’s easier to be like this without him here. Easier to let my guard down and not fight him. I want him like this. I want him to own me and instruct me and tell me exactly how he wants me to do it because he’ll make it even better for me than I could for myself that way. And it’ll get him so hard. So hot for me.
Jack: Do it then. Start playing with your cunt and imagine it’s me because if I were there, that’s exactly what I’d be doing. I’d be rubbing and licking and tasting you everywhere I could. I’d start by using one finger to toy with your dripping pussy because you’re always dripping for me. I’d rub it all over your clit and get it nice and wet. Then I’d put my mouth on it so I could taste it and suck you clean.
My finger drops to my clit, and I start rubbing it in earnest. I am soaked, just as he said, because no one has ever eaten me the way Jack does—hell, a man has never loved doing it as much as Jack does—and just picturing it right now is so hot. I’ve never mastered the art of finger fucking myself and getting my clit the way I like it. This is where BOB typically comes in, but not tonight. I choose my clit, but my pussy isn’t happy about being ignored.
Me: I feel empty. I need something in me, Jack, and my fingers are on my clit.
Jack: Fuck, Wren. Let me come over and fill you up. I’ll give you exactly what you need. I’m aching to be inside of you. I’m not sure I’d be able to wait. I’d need it. Need you.
Me: No. We said we wouldn’t, but can I please have a toy?
Jack: Are you begging me nicely?
Fuck, I hate him.
Still, I can’t deny how good this feels, and I read over what he wrote. How he’d want to eat me out and suck on my tits. I moan and roll up into my hand, seeking more contact, more friction. But it’s still not enough. I need more.
Me: I’m rubbing my clit, and I want to come.
Jack: But you need something inside of you.
Me: Yes.
Jack: Ask me nicely, Wren, and I’ll let you have it.
I grit my teeth, but my need to come is too intense.
Me: Please can I put a toy in me? Please. I am officially begging, and I hate you for it.
Jack: The glass one. The long curved one I saw in your drawer. Fuck yourself with that while you rub your clit.
Oh, thank God.
Like my ass is on fire, I scramble to my nightstand and quickly dig through it. He picked the glass one, and I almost smile at that. With how wet I am, it doesn’t need lube, but it’s also not as thick or as long as he is or some of my other toys are, and I know it’s still part of his punishment for me.
I push it inside, and it slides right in and curves up, hitting my front wall just as it’s designed to. I fuck myself with it as I text him back, abandoning my clit, and this is when one of my rabbits would be better.
Me: I’m using it and it’s good, but not as good as you feel. I’m close, though. Are you getting off?
I put my phone down and work my clit while I fuck myself with my toy. I’m sweating and panting and arching my back. I’m so close as I picture him hovering above me, sweat on his brow, and his cheeks red as his dark eyes watch me. He pushes in and out, loving how he knows I need more and getting ready to give me just that .
“Oh fuck, Jack, yes.”
Jack: I’m close too. It’s you making me that way. I’m jerking myself so hard right now just picturing this. Tell me you’re fucking yourself the same way. Tell me you’re picturing me the way I’m picturing you.
Me: I am. I’m rubbing myself so fast in tight circles and fucking myself with my toy. I want you inside me. You knew it wouldn’t be as good.
Jack: I did. I want you to suffer without me the way I’m suffering without you. I want to be the one to fill you up. To come in you. Now fuck your toy while imagining it’s my cock you’re fucking.
Oh god! I rub harder. Faster. Fuck myself deeper. Moans fly from my lips one after the other. I put my phone down, but I can’t stop thinking of his dirty words. Picturing him and how he looked when he came inside of me. I want more of them. More of him.
Jack: Say my name when you come for me. Scream it so I can hear it.
Me: I’m doing it. I’m coming now.
Fuck. I can’t… I pinch my eyes shut. “Jack!” I scream at the top of my lungs, not even caring if the couple who live upstairs hears me do it.
But I hear him too. “Wren!” It vibrates through the walls of my bathroom and into my bedroom, and I keep coming and coming, rubbing my clit and focusing in on that tight bundle of nerves as heat rushes through my limbs and brain. I’m moaning, writhing , clenching my body down on the glass toy, and curling my toes while my orgasm sweeps through me. It doesn’t slow or ebb. It just continues as I continue to rub and fuck myself.
My eyes close, and immediately, I have his head between my thighs, my fingers through his thick, dark hair. His blue eyes peek up at me beneath his dark lashes. A glimpse of his straight nose and wicked smirk hits me as he sucks my clit between his lips. I gasp all over again at how dirty and raw and depraved his expression is.
“Fuck!” I cry out and sag down into a heap of sated lust. My fingers are still on my clit, which is pulsing beneath them. I’m breathless and smiling while laughing lightly, and yes, a bit sweatier than I was when this all started.
Jack: I came so hard when I heard you. Tell me you did too.
Me: I did.
Jack: I want to kiss you. I want to see your beautiful face and kiss your lips, and I don’t want this to get weird.
Me: It won’t, but no kisses. Not again.
Even as my eyes burn with strange, useless, stupid tears. I chuck my toy on my nightstand. I’ll clean it tomorrow. Instead, I roll over on my side and pinch my eyes shut for a moment so I don’t start crying over a sexting chat with the man who has lived inside my head for far too long.
Jack: Go to bed and don’t overthink this. It was fun. I had fun, and I hope you did too. But you’re more than that to me, and I think you already know it.
Me: Don’t say that to me. Please don’t fucking say that to me .
I bite my lip so I don’t sob.
Jack: I won’t again. I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to think… never mind.
Me: Good night, Jack.
Jack: Good night, beautiful Wren.
Insipid tears leak from my eyes, and I plug in my phone and force myself to fall asleep. I won’t dream about him tonight, but I’m already crying over him again. And nothing good for me will come from that.