Chapter 25 Maddy
MADDY
Something was wrong. I could feel it, but didn’t know how to verbalize it.
For days, I’d been moody and easily pissed off.
The night before, I’d blown up at Travis, one of my bartenders—something I never did.
He’d been carrying a jar of olives out of the back and had slipped on a wet patch on the floor.
He’d caught himself but had dropped the whole jar.
It shattered, throwing olives, brine, and glass everywhere.
I saw it happen, and instead of asking if he was okay, I’d flown into a fit of rage.
“What the fuck, Travis? Do you know how much that jar costs?”
The rest of the staff had turned and looked at me in shock. They’d never heard that type of anger in my voice.
Travis looked confused. “What? Are you serious, Maddy?”
“Yes I’m serious. If it happens again, it’s coming out of your next paycheck. Clean that shit up.”
Travis had gritted his teeth and shook his head, starting to pick up the olives, gingerly watching out for broken glass. He muttered under his breath. “This is bullshit. It was just an accident.”
“I’m sorry?” I shouted across the room. “Is there something you want to say?”
“Nope!” he shouted back, his face flaming with anger.
It wasn’t like me at all. It was like I was watching myself do and say these things, but couldn’t stop myself.
I chalked it up to PMS, but it was some next-level monster PMS. I mentioned it to Nico after another situation where I’d cussed a guy out for bumping into me at the post office.
Felipe had been with me as my guard and had to pull me out the door because I was ready to fight the guy.
He was a solid hundred pounds heavier, and all I could think of was busting his face in.
Nico frowned. “I mean, you’ve been under a lot of stress lately. Maybe that could be it?”
“I don’t know, Nico. I don’t like being like this. Could it be my wolf? Can they cause mood swings and stuff?”
He sighed and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. “Usually not. There’s some anxiety and things like that. I’ve never heard of anyone getting that mad, or out of control. Maybe you should take a day or two off to relax?”
I didn’t think he was right. It wasn’t his fault.
I was an anomaly. None of the other shifters had ever seen or dealt with a dormant wolf trying to push free.
She was stirring inside me, and I could feel it.
Almost physically feel it. Like her body was right at the surface, beneath my skin. It was disconcerting, to say the least.
That night, Sebastian took me to work, and I went directly to my office.
I didn’t want to be around any of the staff in case I had another blow-up.
I felt bad enough walking through the building and seeing the look Travis gave me.
I’d always prided myself on having a family work atmosphere.
I was rapidly ruining that with my behavior, and I didn’t know how to stop it.
Fifteen minutes after I sat down, a knock came at the door, and Abi leaned in.
She quirked an eyebrow. “Can I talk to you?”
“Sure. Why not,” I said, closing my laptop.
Abi closed the door and sat in the chair across from me. She clasped her hands in her lap and took a deep breath before speaking. “So, why have you been such a bitch lately?”
There it was. The first person to call me out on it. I groaned and put my head down on my desk. “I’m sorry,” I moaned.
“Seriously, Maddy. What the fuck? I had to talk Travis out of quitting. You treated him like a dog last night. What’s gotten into you? Do you need a break?”
It was the same thing Nico had said. I didn’t like that idea.
Ever since the attack, I’d only been working two or three days a week at most. I’d always prided myself on being independent and able to handle anything.
Most weeks, I would put in five or six days easy.
Sometimes, if someone needed a day off, I’d do seven full days.
It was all okay because it was my place, the thing I’d built from nothing.
I wanted to be here, wanted to lead my staff.
I’d become so codependent on Nico that I was having a hard time differentiating the two of us.
Always having one of his friends or brothers guarding me, not being able to do anything by myself…
it was starting to become unsettling. I knew I needed the protection.
I wasn’t stupid, but I was starting to feel suffocated.
That, along with whatever the wolf was doing to my head, was making it tough to think straight.
“You may be right, but I need this, Abi. I can’t drop everything and leave you guys alone.”
Abi rolled her eyes. “Sorry to break it to you, boss, but we can run a pretty tight ship without you. I know how to run this place, and the team knows what to do each night.”
“Ugh, I know. I didn’t mean to say you couldn’t handle it.” Nothing seemed to be coming out right.
“I know, I know. I’m just busting your balls. What I’m saying is that it’s okay if you want to take some time. Since the attack, you’ve not spent more than a week away. Most people would have taken a whole month off. I think it’s starting to get to you.”
“Maybe. I’ll think about it. For now, I’m going to try and let you guys do what you do. I’ll try to stay off the main floor. I’ll work in my office or help the kitchen team if they need help. That’s a little less stressful than being out in front of customers.”
Abi grinned and stood. “Good call. I promise we won’t call you out front unless it’s something major. Okay?”
“Deal.”
Luis was due to leave the country the next day. He and Kenneth had narrowed down the search area to something they could probably go through in a week or two. He wanted to come by and confer with Nico in person before flying out.
He got to the house at lunchtime. Nico had ordered pizza to feed him before his big trip. Felipe and Sebastian came over as well, wanting to hear what the plan was.
We sat around the coffee table in the living room, eating while Luis explained what was going to happen. Everyone seemed pretty on edge about the whole thing.
“Kenneth is already over there,” Luis said.
“Some of the contacts he’s made have really helped.
There’s apparently a pretty significant undercurrent of distrust for the royals in the old countries.
It was surprisingly easy to get information—relatively speaking, that is.
There’s a lot of fear, too. Everyone, it seems, is scared of them.
It took a while for him to gain their trust, but once he did, we got a lot of good intel. ”
“Like what?” Nico asked, grabbing another slice of pizza.
“Well, he’s found the location of the original castle that Edemas ruled from.
The human textbooks list it as the stronghold of a feudal lord, but in reality, it was Edemas.
Kenneth has high hopes that it’s the location of the vault or safe or whatever the hell the vial is stored in. I sort of doubt it.”
“Right?” Sebastian said. “Wouldn’t, like, the first place they’d look be in the castle he lived in?”
Luis shrugged. “It’s what I think. Kenneth thinks there may be some hidden areas the royals couldn’t find. We’ll see. It’s a good place to start anyway.”
While they talked, I sat there, pizza growing cold in my hand, remembering my dream from a few nights before.
The moon. My wolf was stirring. It was almost as if she was trying to communicate something to me.
The images of the dream kept replaying in my mind, niggling at my subconscious.
Was there something there? In the dream?
The trees, the night sky, the light of the full moon.
Over and over again, it flashed through my mind.
Along with the images, there was a sense of wanting something.
“Hey,” Felipe said, nodding toward me. “You okay, Maddy?”
Nico turned to me and put a hand on my thigh. “Are you all right?”
I nodded. “It’s listening to Luis talk about Norway. There’s something inside my head that wants to be there. I don’t know where there is, though. It’s frustrating.”
Nico wrapped an arm around me. “It’s okay.”
A flash of anger surged through me, and I shrugged his arm off me. “Stop coddling me, dammit. I’m not some damned damsel in distress who needs to be saved. I have things to offer.”
Nico’s face fell, and he looked surprised by my reaction. I wanted to apologize, but the wolf had me, and there was no way she’d let me back down now. He held his hand up in surrender. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m sorry. Are you sure everything is okay?”
I glared at him for several seconds, feeling the awkwardness in the room build as his three friends sat there, mid-chew, as I blew up at Nico.
Finally, as the wolf’s anger subsided, I sighed, and my body relaxed.
I put a hand to my face. “I’m sorry,” I said and leaned into Nico.
“I told you something is wrong with me. I can’t explain it. ”
“It’s almost like she’s going through puberty,” Luis said.
“What?” Nico and I said in unison.
“Well, it usually isn’t so…aggressive, but it’s like the mood swings we had right before our first shift.
” Luis put his pizza down and leaned on his thighs.
“Sometimes, if someone is a late bloomer, then the wolf can get angrier. Instead of fight or flight it’s more like fight or…
fuck,” he said, smiling awkwardly. “You’re way beyond just a late bloomer.
This isn’t like a kid who is fifteen and finally connecting to his wolf.
Yours has been pent-up inside you for almost thirty years.
If you’re this easily keyed up, it sounds like you’re nearing your first shift. ”
I shook my head. “I can’t shift, though. It’s impossible.”
Luis bobbed his head back and forth. “Maybe. But maybe your wolf knows something you don’t.”
Luis left not long after for the airport.
His words sat with me the rest of that night and into the coming days.
It was confusing and scary. I couldn’t shift.
The blood was too diluted, but now that I was with Nico, my wolf knew its mate was right there.
What would happen as this kept progressing?
Would I finally snap and kill someone for doing something dumb?
Would I claw out some old lady’s eyes for stepping on my foot at the grocery store?
Run someone off the road for cutting me off?
The other thing that scared me was if Luis was right. What if my wolf wanted to shift? Needed to shift, but couldn’t? What would happen? Would I literally explode? It was all too confusing, too terrifying. I wanted it over with.
The next day, I was sitting on the back porch and staring up at the full moon.
I felt calm and at ease for the first time all week.
The way the light of the moon fell on me it was almost like cool water washing over me.
My body had felt hot and on the verge of igniting for so many days, it was a welcome respite.
Nico found me out there and sat beside me, taking my hand in his. He didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned back and gazed up at the sky with me. I could tell he was waiting for me to say something. He was giving me the time I needed to put things into words.
“Nico?”
“Yep?”
“What does it mean if I…feel something moving inside me?”
He sat forward and turned his head toward me, looking concerned. “Describe the feeling? How long have you felt it?”
“It’s been going on for a little while. Kinda since I started feeling…
weird. It’s almost like there’s movement deep inside me.
A tingle under my skin. An…almost butterfly feeling in my stomach.
Every now and then, I can almost sense something just beneath my skin, sliding across the inside.
It’s weird. I don’t know how else to explain it. ”
Nico stared at me for a long time. The look on his face was a combination of shock and confusion.
“That shouldn’t be possible. What you’re describing is what kids experience before their first shift.
But…” he shook his head and looked at the moon for a minute before turning back to me.
“Maybe you have more shifter blood in you than we thought. That, or your wolf is so strong, it’s trying to break free of the bonds holding her inside you. ”
That didn’t sound good. “Is that a thing that happens? I thought the human part was still mostly in control.”
“It is,” Nico admitted. “I honestly don’t know. Until a couple months ago, your entire existence was a mystery. I have no idea how strong the Edemas wolves were. Maybe it can fight through the dormancy?”
He must have seen the worried look on my face. He took both my hands into his. “Hey, don’t worry about this. No matter what happens, you aren’t alone.”
“But what if—”
“If your wolf manages to break free, I will be here. I promised you I would make sure nothing happened to you. That doesn’t just mean Javi and the royals; it means whatever is happening inside you, too. I’ll be there to walk you through it every step of the way. You have my word on that.”
I relaxed, knowing he was right. I could put my faith and trust in him. After everything, he’d proven that time and again. I leaned against him. “Thanks. It’s so scary. Sometimes I don’t even know how to act.”
He wrapped an arm around me. “I’m here. Don’t forget that. When things seem too crazy or weird, always remember, you are not alone.”
We sat there for a long time. The silence wasn’t awkward or strange. We were simply two people who cared for each other, enjoying the night. I stared into the milky whiteness of the moon and let its calming effect pour through my body. It called to me, pulled at me.
Deep in my mind, my wolf growled hungrily.