Chapter 6
Michael
I opened my eyes, staring at Kaius, who was watching me with an anxious expression while radiating calm at me.
My head hurt, as years of memories — my memories -- clicked into place.
My childhood, vacations, my time at college, my years as an oceanographer, all settled behind those of the last five years like links in a chain.
And the people… teachers and friends, coworkers, and relatives. My father, who’d passed away when I’d been very young.
Dr. Gail, my friend. My mother.
I knew I’d lost consciousness, and I was a bit disoriented as I tried to assimilate everything as I was once again made whole, at least in mind if not body.
I was Michael Gail, but I was also Corbin, two people who were similar but different by dint of their memories.
Michael had been a man, but Corbin was… different.
Corbin was neither male nor female, but something separate from gender.
Michael had friends, and he had loved and been loved.
Corbin had logic and knowledge, but only Dr. Gail for companionship.
How hard had it been for her, seeing the being who was her son and yet not him at the same time?
And then there was Kaius.
“Are you all right?” he asked. To be honest, I wasn’t sure yet. It was… a lot.
I realized he was holding my hand, his own trembling slightly.
I gave it a squeeze, trying to reassure him.
Whoever or whatever I was now, I had loved him as Michael.
I still loved him, I realized as I looked into his beautiful eyes.
I could feel it, and while it was a novelty to Corbin, it was a surety I, as Michael, couldn’t deny.
“I think so,” I said, drawing in a deep breath. “Just a little confused.”
“Your CPU didn’t reset, and I suspect your memories will integrate shortly,” Cormie reported, and I glanced at them, seeing the differences almost six years had wrought.
I realized that Cormie looked happy. Had I ever before seen a construct that was truly happy?
But they were smiling at me, wearing an expression of welcome.
“I’m pleased to see you again, Michael.”
“I’m pleased to be back. Also surprised.” I looked at Kaius, who drew in a breath of relief, and I reached out to touch his face in wonder. “How did you do that? How did you restore the memories I’d lost?”
“Memories can’t really be erased,” Kaius replied, leaning into the touch as his eyes shimmered with tears, yet his smile reflected joy.
“They are always there in your brain, but it is possible to obscure the ability to recall them. I put a block on yours six years ago, back when you were injured. I had to, you see; I wanted you to recover, but there was a chance you’d talk about me and what you’d learned about us.
Cormie said there was a chance they’d consider you insane if you started talking about what you’d experienced, so I felt I had no choice.
I had to act quickly, so I eased your pain and blocked your memories.
I didn’t know they would turn you into a construct and block everything else. But I released those, too.”
“As Archon did for me,” Cormie chimed in.
“I know those who saved us meant well in trying to give us completely new lives, free from our injury trauma and protecting us from feeling less than for our physical changes. But I think they are wrong to take everything. I think they didn’t realize they were also taking away our joy. ”
I could understand that. For all that humanity had advanced scientifically, the human heart was still a mystery in some ways.
In removing the bad, they’d also taken the good, and I knew that as Corbin, I’d never felt anything as intensely as I did as Michael.
It was still a half-life, no matter how the psychologists of the construct program tried to justify it.
But I needed to talk to Kaius, and I needed to do it alone. Much as I appreciated what Cormie had done for me, there were private things I needed to know.
Before I could open my mouth to speak, Cormie moved.
They smiled and leaned down to touch my shoulder almost affectionately.
“I’ll let you two catch up, since it seems you’re no longer in danger from a CPU problem.
” They paused, turning more serious. “I want to thank you, Michael, for being my friend. I didn’t realize it before my memories were given back, but you never treated me differently for being a construct.
Neither did your mother, for that matter.
But you endangered your own life to save mine. Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “Thank you for saving my life in turn.”
They nodded, their smile returning. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later.”
Once the door to the room had closed behind them, I looked again at Kaius.
He smiled, then slipped into the pool. My tentacles didn’t seem to bother him at all, which I guess wasn’t too surprising given that he often had a tail himself.
I’d have to get to the bottom of how all that worked at some point, but not right now.
“Come here,” I said, and held out my arms. He slipped into them, wrapping his own around my shoulders.
“This isn’t exactly how I imagined we’d end up together,” I said, searching his face. “As you can see, I’m not entirely what I was before.” Even though I could feel his love for me emanating from him, I had to address the elephant, or rather octopus, in the room. I had to know.
“To me, you are more than what you were before,” he replied softly.
“You are Michael, the kind and intelligent man I have loved since I first saw him. And you are Corbin, a person of curiosity and understanding. This isn’t how I imagined us together, either, but my Solstice wishes for all these years have finally been answered.
When Gaia gives such a gift, one does not question the manner in which it is bestowed. ”
“So you can accept me as I am?” I asked.
“Exactly as you are. As you accepted me six years ago. You were always a creature of the sea, my Michael, in heart and spirit if not in body. My people have a saying: be what you are within. Now you are, even if the way you got there wasn’t easy on you.”
With Kaius in my arms, I couldn’t doubt his words.
I remembered this from before, the connection we’d shared, and now I knew it was something beyond simple chemistry and attraction.
It was psychic as well, because if he could sense my feelings, I could also sense his.
I felt his happiness and wonder, and, most of all, his love.
Which I returned. Maybe it was crazy on some level, a construct and a person who could shapeshift finding one another, but apparently love really did have no bounds — not even of biology.
“I’ve been yours all that time, even if I didn’t know it.” I stroked his hair back from his face. “I had no memories at all, but that of your face. But it brought us back together, and I never want to leave you again.”
With that, I leaned in and kissed him.
It was our first kiss now that the impediments which had been between us were no longer present.
I felt his breath catch, and then Kaius gave a soft moan as he parted his lips, a tacit invitation for more.
I explored his mouth, wrapping my arms and my tentacles around him to hold him as close as possible.
Kaius gasped as I stroked him through his tunic, but I wanted more.
I might be missing a few pieces, but it hardly seemed to matter, since my desire was stoked by his.
It was easy enough to strip off his tunic, though it was ripped in the process, but with Kaius against me, warm and naked, I didn’t care.
I could feel myself touching him and him touching me, and the feedback from both through this connection we shared was so intense a pleasure it was almost painful.
But I wanted more; I wanted everything, and the heat between us was so intense I could imagine the water around us steaming in reaction.
I wrapped a hand around his hard length, stroking him, feeling him rock against me in a desperate plea for more.
And more I gladly gave him, increasing the pace as he moaned into the kiss, my tentacles stroking his entire body.
It didn’t take long for him to pull back with a gasp, then crying out in pleasure, a cry I echoed as his orgasm flowed over him and into me.
It was like a feedback loop, echoing through us both again and again, fading slightly each time.
I don’t know how long it took to finally fade, but after a while it did, and we were both left panting and weak in the aftermath.
Kaius cuddled into my arms, laying his head on my shoulder and stroking my chest. It felt good having him in my arms and knowing that, despite everything, we were together.
As if reading my thoughts (and, who knew, perhaps he was) Kaius lifted his head to look at me. “You’ll stay now, right? I know my father will trust you without having to block your memory, but it could be dangerous for you.”
I thought about it for a moment. “I’ll stay.
But let me know when the ship leaves, because there are few things I need to do after it does.
” Such as making sure Mercer was no longer a threat, and telling my mother that I was alive.
She deserved to know; even if I couldn’t tell her everything I thought she’d happier simply knowing that I survived.
Kaius looked intrigued. “All right. Are they things I can help with?”
I smiled, leaning down to kiss him briefly. “Definitely. Six years is a long enough separation. I don’t want to take a chance of anything separating us ever again.”
Maybe that should be my own Solstice wish. I wasn’t the religious type, but Gaia, if you’re out there, please let me stay where I belong. By Kaius’s side, forever, under the sea.