Chapter 20
Nick
Dante and I walked back toward our tiny house, nothing but silence between us.
Dinner with my parents had gone about as well as I expected.
Heather and Angelo didn’t come back for nearly a half hour, but she didn’t rejoin us for dinner.
Topics for the rest of the night centered around cattle and weather, all of us steering clear of the elephant in the room.
I didn’t know what to say to Dante. I wasn’t even sure if I knew the depth of my own feelings about the situation.
Everything with Dante was so new still. And being with a man…
well, I didn’t have any experience in that arena.
Not to mention, I wasn’t sure I’d ever been in love with anyone before, so I wasn’t really sure what it was supposed to feel like.
But how did I explain all of that without sounding like a dickhead? When someone said they were falling for you, you were supposed to say it back, right? That’s what always happened in the movies. That’s what the other person expected.
I wanted to tell him. God, I wanted to say something that would make that wounded look disappear from his eyes. But the words stuck in my throat, heavy and impossible to express.
“I’m sorry,” I said finally, breaking the silence as we reached the porch. “About Heather. About all of it.”
Dante stopped walking, his hand on the door handle. “You don’t have to apologize for your family.”
“Yeah, I do.” I rubbed the back of my neck, frustration building in my chest. “She had no right to say those things. To out us like that in front of everyone.”
“She was protecting you.” His voice was flat, emotionless. “Can’t really blame her for that.”
“I don’t need protecting from you.”
He turned to look at me then, and the vulnerability in his dark eyes made my chest ache. “Don’t you?”
“No.” I stepped closer, closing the distance between us. “Dante, I—”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted, opening the door and stepping inside. “I know this is all new for you. I shouldn’t have said what I said back there. It was too much, too soon.”
I followed him in, watching as he moved through the small space like he was trying to put distance between us even in the confines of our tiny house. He went to the kitchen, pulling out a glass and filling it with water he didn’t drink.
“It wasn’t too much,” I said quietly. “It was honest. And I... I appreciated that.”
“But you can’t say it back.” It wasn’t a question.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, the words feeling like a confession.
“I don’t know what I’m feeling yet, Dante.
A few weeks ago, I thought I was straight.
I thought I’d spend my whole life on this ranch, maybe marry some girl from town, have kids.
Normal stuff.” I leaned against the counter, trying to find the right words.
“And now I’m married to a man. A man I’m sleeping with.
A man who makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.
And I don’t... I don’t know how to process all of that. ”
He set the glass down carefully, his knuckles white against the counter. “So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need time.” I moved closer, reaching out to touch his arm.
“I’m saying that what we have is real to me, even if I can’t put a name to it yet.
I’m saying that when you went down under that heifer, I thought my world was ending.
That when you touch me, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
But love...” I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that before.
So, I don’t know if what I’m feeling is love or just.. . something else.”
“Something else,” he repeated, and I heard the hurt in his voice.
“Something important,” I clarified, cupping his face and forcing him to look at me.
“Something I don’t want to lose. You asked me to stay with you in that hospital bed, and I did.
And I’ll keep staying, Dante. As long as you’ll have me.
I just need you to be patient while I figure out what all of this means. ”
His eyes searched mine for a long moment, and I held my breath, terrified he’d pull away. Terrified he’d decide I wasn’t worth the trouble.
“Okay,” he said finally, his voice rough. “I can do patient. I can do slow. I just... I needed you to know where I stood. What this is becoming for me.”
“I know,” I whispered, pressing my forehead against his. “And I’m glad you told me. Even if I can’t say it back yet.”
“Yet,” he repeated, and I heard the hope in that single word.
“Yet,” I confirmed.
He kissed me then, soft and sweet and tinged with something that felt like relief. When we finally pulled apart, some of the tension had drained from his shoulders.
“Do you… Do you want to go on a walk or something?” I asked when I finally pulled back. “I’m… restless.”
His eyes lit up, and I felt a rush of relief that I’d suggested something that pleased him. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.”
We headed out into the cool Montana night, the stars so bright overhead they looked like someone had spilled diamonds across black velvet. I’d lived under these endless skies my whole life, but under those stars tonight with Dante, they felt different somehow. More significant.
We walked in comfortable silence for a while, our shoulders brushing occasionally, hands swinging close but not quite touching.
I wanted to reach for him, but something held me back.
Maybe it was the knowledge that we’d just had this big conversation about feelings I couldn’t name yet.
Maybe it was the lingering anxiety from dinner, knowing my family now knew what was happening between us.
“Where are we going?” Dante asked as I led him away from the main buildings.
“There’s a spot I used to go when I was a kid,” I said. “When things got too heavy, or I needed to think. Figured you might like to see it.”
We walked past the north pasture, the cattle dark shapes against the grass, their breathing soft and rhythmic in the quiet. The path I was following was barely visible in the moonlight, overgrown from years of disuse, but my feet knew the way.
After about ten minutes, we reached a small rise that overlooked the entire valley. From here, you could see the main house, the barns, the creek winding silver through the darkness. Beyond that, the mountains rose up like sentinels, their peaks touched with moonlight.
“Damn,” Dante breathed, stopping beside me. “This is incredible.”
“Yeah.” I sat down on the grass, patting the spot next to me.
“My dad used to bring me up here when I was little. Before everything went to shit with the finances. He’d point out all the different sections of the ranch, tell me stories about my grandfather and great-grandfather who built this place.
” I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat.
“He’d tell me that someday it would all be mine. ”
Dante settled beside me, close enough that I could feel his warmth. “The Lion King must’ve been your favorite movie as a kid.”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile. “It was kinda like that, wasn’t it?”
“Does that make me the hyenas or the evil uncle?” Dante asked, glancing my way.
I shook my head. “Neither. You’re the one that comes to save me. To remind me who I truly am.” I leaned closer, my lips almost touching his. “Can you feel the love tonight?” I hummed in tune.
Dante smiled wide. “You’re an idiot.”
“You like it though, don’t you?”
He nodded, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. “I really do, Nick.”
I kissed him then, slow and deep, pouring everything I couldn’t say into the contact. His hand slid from my cheek to the back of my neck, pulling me closer, and I went willingly. Out here under the stars, away from everyone and everything, I could let myself have this. Have him.
When we finally broke apart, both breathing harder, I rested my forehead against his. “I may not be able to say the words yet,” I murmured, “but I can show you. If you’ll let me.”
His eyes darkened with understanding, and I watched his throat work as he swallowed. “Here?”
“Here.” I glanced around at the empty hillside, the ranch buildings distant enough that no one could see us even if they were looking. “No one comes up here. It’s just us.”
“Nick...” His voice was rough with want, but I could hear the hesitation too. “Are you—”
“I’m sure,” I interrupted, already reaching for the buttons of his shirt. “And I need this. Need you. Need to show you what I can’t say yet.”
He caught my hands, stilling them, and for a horrible moment I thought he was going to refuse. But then he leaned in and kissed me again, harder this time, and I felt his resolve crumble.
“Okay,” he breathed against my mouth. “Okay, yeah. Show me.”
I made quick work of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and running my hands over the warm skin I’d memorized over the past weeks.
The bandage around his ribs was gone now, leaving only faint bruising that was more yellow than purple.
I traced the marks gently, reminded of how close I’d come to losing him before I’d even really had him.
“I’m okay,” he said softly, reading my expression. “I promise.”
I nodded, then urged him back onto the grass, following him down. The ground was cool beneath us, the grass soft, and overhead the stars wheeled in their ancient patterns. I kissed him again, taking my time now, tasting him thoroughly.
My hands found the button of his jeans, and I paused, giving him one last chance to change his mind. But he just lifted his hips, helping me work the denim down his legs along with his boxers. In the moonlight, his cock was already hard, and I felt my own body respond with a rush of heat.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” I breathed, running my hand up his thigh.
“So are you.” His hands were working at my clothes now, and I helped him strip me down until we were both naked under the stars, warm skin against skin.
I’d stashed lube in my pocket, which probably said something about my intentions for this walk, but I didn’t let myself think too hard about that. Instead, I focused on Dante’s face as I slicked my fingers, watching the anticipation and trust written there.
“Turn over,” I murmured, and he did, presenting himself to me in a way that made my cock throb with need.
I took my time preparing him, working him open with careful fingers while he gasped and pushed back against my hand. Out here in the open air, with nothing but starlight and moonlight to see by, everything felt more intense somehow. More real.
“Please,” he finally gasped, his hands fisting in the grass. “Nick, please, I need—”
I knew what he needed. I slicked myself up and positioned myself behind him, the head of my cock pressing against his entrance. He pushed back immediately, taking me in one smooth motion that punched the air from both our lungs.
“God,” I groaned, giving him a moment to adjust. “You feel so fucking good.”
“Move,” he demanded, and I did, setting a rhythm that was slower and more deliberate than usual. This wasn’t about desperation or urgency. This was about showing him what I couldn’t put into words yet.
I pulled him up so his back rested against my chest and pressed kisses to his shoulder, his neck, anywhere I could reach.
One hand wrapped around his cock, stroking him in time with my slow thrusts.
His moans echoed across the empty hillside, mixing with the night sounds of crickets and wind through grass.
My hips ground against him, driving my cock deep.
I felt him pulse and clench around me, my hand clasped around his neck as I held him close.
Before long I was lost in the sounds of his pleasure, wanting nothing more than to pull more moans of ecstasy from his lips.
I wasn’t sure how long we’d been out there, and I didn’t care.
All I wanted was to make him fall apart in my grasp.
“Nick,” he gasped at last, his whole body trembling. “I’m close, I’m—”
“Let go,” I told him, my own control fraying. “I’ve got you.”
He came with a broken cry that I swallowed with a kiss, his body clenching around me in a way that dragged me over the edge with him. I buried myself as deep as I could go and let go, pleasure washing through me in waves that left me shaking.
We collapsed together onto the grass, both breathing hard, my softening cock still inside him. I pressed my face against his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him mixed with grass and earth and sex.
“Not bad, cowboy,” he said, his voice breathy and blissed out. “I don’t think anyone’s ever fucked me like that before.”
“No?”
He shook his head but didn’t reply further. We lay there for a long moment, letting our breathing return to normal, neither of us wanting to move. Eventually, though, the cool night air started to make itself known, and I reluctantly pulled out, both of us wincing at the loss.
We dressed in comfortable silence, taking our time. When we were both presentable again, I pulled him close, wrapping my arms around him.
“Thank you,” he said quietly against my chest.
“For what?”
“For showing me.” His arms tightened around me. “Even if you can’t say it yet, I felt it. What you were trying to tell me.”
My throat felt tight, and I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Good. Because I meant it.”
We stood there for a while longer, wrapped up in each other, before finally heading back down the hill toward the tiny house in the distance.