Chapter 6 Mason
Mason
Half an hour after spilling my guts to my teammates, we left the newlyweds to enjoy their wedding night.
It was a beautiful spring night, and the moon was high in the sky, casting a romantic glow over everything it touched.
My friends jumping to the conclusion that Thomas and I were together was wishful thinking on my part.
I was crazy about him, and it was getting more difficult to hide my feelings with every passing day.
Sometimes I would swear he felt the same way.
Leaning against the car, it was impossible not to notice how handsome Thomas was as he smiled at me. Butterflies fluttered in loops in my belly every time he came close to me. I was going to mess this up if I wasn’t careful.
“How do you feel, Champ?”
I ran my fingers over my beard, trying to calm my racing heart. “Believe it or not, better. It was time for them to know. I hate secrets.”
Thomas leaned against my car, so close that I could feel his body heat. The breeze off the water caught his scent, and I greedily inhaled his unique smell. How was it possible to ache for someone you’d never had? “I was surprised when you jumped in to defend me. That’s usually my role.”
I turned to look him in the eye. “I would do anything for you. That’s what friends are supposed to do.”
“I feel that.”
Our gazes locked as a smile formed. My eyes trailed down his face to the lips I longed to feel on mine.
My stomach fluttered again at the thought of kissing him.
But I’d never shared my sexuality, and that wasn’t something to conceal from someone you cared about.
But how did you say, ‘hey, best friend, I think I’m falling for you’ without destroying what we had?
But how would we have a chance to move forward if I didn’t tell him how I felt?
Sighing, I broke his stare and lifted my face to the sky. “Do you think Hudson ever thought he’d fall in love with a man? I mean, they’re so happy together. I thought Evan smiled all the time before him, but I was wrong.”
His deep chuckle settled me as he shifted against the car.
He was closer than before, and my breathing picked up.
The whoosh of the blood in my ears made it almost difficult to hear him.
“I don’t know if he ever considered it, but when he knew he loved Evan, he didn’t give it a second thought.
It was what it was. Love is love and all.
But the last two years of his term were incredibly difficult.
You wouldn’t have known it to look at him, but there were times I wasn’t sure his brave face was going to hold.
But that night when he met Evan, things changed.
He was happier, smiled more, and the kids loved him.
You know what I’m talking about. You were there. ”
I nodded. “I was.”
When I stopped talking, he nudged me with his elbow. “Does it bother you that they think we’re together?”
I chuckled at the irony. That’s all I really wanted. And I’d never been good at lying. “No, not at all. Can I tell you something that no one on this planet knows? Not even my sisters.”
Thomas turned to the side to face me. His face was serious, even though the angle of the moonlight threw his face into shadow. “Of course. You can tell me anything, Mason,” he murmured.
I knew in my heart that he was sincere, but this kind of declaration might not be welcomed.
He had Hudson in his life, so maybe it would be okay.
Turning to face him, I looked into his silvery grey eyes.
“I’m bisexual,“ I whispered. “I’ve never acted on it, never wanted to.” Until now.
“But as my teammates find their happiness, it makes me wonder whether I’ve missed my person somewhere because I haven’t truly lived an authentic life.
It really hit me hard when Lennox almost lost Dane, and a few months later, when all that happened with Colin.
” I took a deep breath. “Anyway. I thought you should know.”
I waited for the judgment and for his expression to change, but he remained unreadable as usual. “I’m honored you shared that with me. I’m sure it was incredibly difficult.”
Frozen in that moment, I curled my lips in as I looked at him, silently begging him to give me some sign that he might share my feelings.
But his smile never faltered, his eyes never changed, and any dreams I had of being more than friends flickered out.
It was friends or nothing, and I refused to lose him.
Nodding, I straightened, trying to hide my feelings from the moonlight. Looking back at the sky, I pinched the bridge of my nose to wipe away the moisture. And when I was ready, I tucked my heart back into the spot I reserved for him. “I think I’m going to call it a night.”
Thomas hesitated a moment, then cleared his throat. “Yeah, me too,” he said, straightening to his full height. “When do you want to start? I can look into the adoption theory.”
I curled my lips in again and nodded. “Yeah. That’s good. Just let me know what you find.” I held out my hand to shake, but he frowned as his eyes dropped to my hand before moving back up to me. I couldn’t see the expression on his face. I just needed to leave.
Without warning, he pulled me forward and wrapped me in his arms. I refused to melt into him. If I allowed myself to have that part of him, I might not be able to turn it back. “I’m fucking proud of you,” he whispered. “This is going to be okay, and I’ve got your back, no matter what.”
I clapped him on the back. “Thank you.”
Thomas released me, then stepped back. “I’m going home to get started. Come over in the morning, and I’ll make you breakfast.”
I pasted on a smile. “Sounds good.”
Walking around my car, I unlocked the doors and got in.
Thomas waved before making his way to his car.
Leaning forward, I banged my head on the steering wheel, hoping he hadn’t picked up on my dilemma.
It would ruin everything. And I couldn’t afford to lose Thomas.
Starting my car, I pulled away, determined to keep my eyes forward.
When I got home, I changed into my favorite sweats and a hoodie. Pulling it up over my head, I went outside to the deck and climbed onto the lounger.
After opening up about Axel, I was excited about the prospect of finding him.
Imagining what our childhood could have been made me ravenous for any scrap or detail I could find about him.
So I logged into my rarely used IG account and found him.
I knew just enough about social media to get me in trouble.
Hitting the follow button would mean he could see me, and I wasn’t ready for that.
When his official page filled my screen, I flipped through post after post, scanning each one for a glimpse of his life outside the rink.
Conflicting feelings of abandonment and never being good enough rose to the surface along with the contentment I felt simply knowing he existed.
I studied his photos, wanting to find answers to all my questions about his life, hoping they would explain mine.
A hint about why we never knew each other, why I was chosen for this life over him, or him over me.
But only the professional athlete looked back with a vacant stare.
Not the man I knew in the deepest parts of my soul had to be my brother.
Did he enjoy his life? Did he feel like he belonged in his world?
I doom scrolled through his posts a little longer, hoping for something to share with Thomas, but his life was as sterile and devoid of color as mine.
But there was one thing that stood out. Like me, Axel didn’t seem to smile much.
He wore a mask of who the public wanted to see. “Do you feel as out of place as I do?”
When there was nothing more to see, I logged out and turned off my phone.
Staring up at the clear night sky, I was happy with the decision I’d made to find Axel.
Telling Thomas I was bi was still up for debate.
At the rate I was going, I would spend the rest of my life alone if I allowed my fears to control me. It was time to take a chance.
It was late when I finally went inside and went to bed. I tossed and turned most of the night, unable to sleep. Axel’s photos played like a movie in my head, sometimes adding my own to the reel. At the first light of dawn, I gave up and started my day.
The tide was out, and my stretch of beach provided an area to run.
Thomas usually did this with me, either here or at Coronado.
But I was still feeling raw from my confession.
When I hit the sand, I ran as long as the shore would allow before turning back.
After showering, I killed time checking my email and tidying up until it was time to go.
After the night I’d had, I was surprised at the good mood I was in.
But I needed coffee. Not wanting to show up without one for him, I shot him a quick text.
Me: Good Morning. I’m stopping for coffee. Can I bring you some?
Thomas: Morning. Yes. Thanks.
Me: What would you like?
Thomas: You
My eyes bulged as I gawked at the screen. My mind went blank as all the blood in my head rushed south. It had to be a mistake. Why hadn’t he said anything last night?
Thomas: Sorry. Avery knocked my phone out of my hand.
Thomas: She’s raring to go this morning.
Thomas: I’ll take my usual.
Me: See you soon.
Caught between a mass of complex feelings, I started my Rover and picked up our coffee. Twenty minutes later, I stood on his doorstep feeling some sort of way I couldn’t name. My feelings were all over the place, and I needed him to be my calm.
When the door swung open, he smiled at me as his dogs flanked him. “You’re right on time.”
“I’ve been up a while.” I handed him his coffee, then turned my attention to them. “Hey, ladies. How are you doing this morning?”
“Really? Why? Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?”
I smiled to myself at how protective he was of me. I wasn’t quite ready to look at him. “I’m fine. Just didn’t sleep well. It’s nothing these two can’t fix.” I loved his dogs.
“I haven’t taken them out this morning. Do you mind if we talk and walk?”
Standing to my full height, my knees crackled as I steadied myself. I met his concerned stare, then smiled. “Not at all. We don’t want to disappoint them.”
Thomas moved inside the doorway, then squatted down to attach their leashes. “Are you sure everything is okay?”
“I’m fine, Thomas.” I wasn’t, but I would be in time.
Two excited barks, along with the tender way he was looking at his senior dogs, made me stupid, but I took the leash he handed me. I led her down to the sidewalk as he grabbed a backpack, then slung it over his shoulder. “We’re doing the park today.”
“Cool. No problem.”
While Thomas locked the door, I bent down to rub Avery between the ears. When he finally reached my side, we started down the street. “I can’t believe you never had a dog growing up.”
I laughed humorlessly. “You know my life story. My mother would never allow that, no matter how much we begged.”
“She doesn’t like animals?”
I huffed. “I think she knew it would make me happy. She always blamed it on our schedules and said a dog would become our housekeeper’s responsibility. She had no idea.” I rubbed my hand over my mouth. “That’s another reason I think I’m adopted. That and my blood type doesn’t match theirs.”
Thomas stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. Not much shocked him, but this had. “What are you talking about?”
“Calm down, Agent Kingsley,” I teased, trying to lighten the moment. “I’ll tell you when we get to the park.”
“Damn right you will.”
We walked in comfortable silence, allowing the girls to sniff the flowers and mailboxes along the way. When we got to the park, I headed to an empty bench and took a seat. “Now,” he said, “explain what you meant about your blood type.”
Stretching out my arms over the back of the bench, I looked out over the park and recounted the story.
“I was in college when I found out it was genetically impossible for me to belong to both of my parents. I donated blood, and the donor profile came back with Type A. There was zero possibility of a mistake.” I looked over at him.
“I’m sure Thomas Nye knows two Type O parents can only produce Type O children.
One of my biological parents has to be Type A or AB. ”
“How do you know their blood types? Most people don’t know their own, much less their family members.”
I smiled. “My sister is a science nerd like you. At one point, Mac was considering medical school, so she took the required classes in case she decided to give Pre-Med a try. Our parents were registered blood donors, so she got their cards.”.
“And in all these years, you’ve never said anything to them?”
I shook my head. “What was the point? I didn’t want to rock the boat. What would it prove? But it’s different with Axel. I know they’ve been lying to me my entire life, and I hope to God they have a good reason.”
Thomas shifted on the bench. “I know you don’t want to involve your family, but it makes the most sense. We need to start with your father.”
I released a heavy sigh, because I knew he was right. My gut told me Davis Kennerly knew what was going on. I just didn’t want to destroy the illusion about him. “I know.”
“I’ll go with you,” he said, squeezing my shoulder. “I’ll be right by your side the entire way.”
I stared at him as my heart thumped a rhythm I wished he could hear. “I know, Thomas. You’re the best.”
When we got back to his house, he made me breakfast as promised while I booked our tickets to New York to talk to my dad in person.