Chapter 18 Snow
SNOW
“Snow?” Jen stands over me with a binder in her hands.
“Mhm?” I glance up, pausing the e-mail I’m in the process of drafting.
“If this is about the schedules leading up to Christmas, I already have those sorted. Maintenance will be here in an hour to start decorating the halls with all your approved decorations and I have the pay slips from everyone who’s getting paid double for working Thanksgiving last week.
” Whatever she’s preparing to throw at me, I’m ready.
“I’m not here about that.” Jen leans forward against my desk and glances around, checking who is within earshot before she speaks. “The nurse wants to see you.”
My stomach drops.
“She says she tried to call you,” Jen continues, “but you didn’t answer. I explained my new no phone policy and she tried to give me shit for it, but I think it’s improving productivity, don’t you think?”
Anything else she says washes over me as I cling to her first sentence.
The nurse.
This is about my test results.
Standing slowly, I close out of the email and walk away from Jen in a daze, deaf to her attempts to tell me anything else.
My heart begins to pound and by the time I reach the elevator, it’s racing so fast that I can’t hear anything else.
Not the hiss of the elevator doors, not the click of the button as I press for the next floor, nor the familiar clunk as the elevator hums into life and takes me up two floors.
I remain in a daze, bubbled by my own thunderous heartbeat until I’m outside the nurse’s office, knocking.
“Come in,” calls a soft voice.
Pushing open the door, I’m hit by a sudden rush of warmth that alerts me to how cold my hands are.
The nurse sits at her desk typing away while a heater sits at her feet, flooding the room with warmth.
She glances over her shoulder and smiles at me.
“Noelle?”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Come in, come in. Close the door, would you? I’m trying to preserve what limited heat this little guy churns out.”
I do as she asks and walk forward until I’m parallel with the chair beside her desk. “Can I sit?”
“Of course you can.” She chuckles. “I’m Abby. I’m so terribly sorry it took so long for your test results to come back. We’re usually much quicker in these situations, but this time of year, with so many people unwell, it takes time, unfortunately.”
She finishes her typing with a satisfying click and then swivels to face me. “I can’t imagine how difficult the last few weeks have been for you.”
“They wanted to keep me off work for longer,” I say as I sit and clutch at my knees. “But I was bored out of my mind so Jen, my boss, let me come back for strictly admin only.”
“Did it help keep your mind off things?”
I shake my head.
The only thing that helped was Xander, but he put his foot down and denied me the only thing keeping me sane.
He was right to.
I was spiraling down a dark path with how my life was crumbling around me, not thinking straight at all. While it’s still in shambles, I’m sleeping again and no longer acting like my life is over.
Unless what Abby is about to tell me changes that.
Maybe my life is over.
A hundred diseases flood my mind as I stare at Abby’s mouth, waiting for her to voice one of them and tell me just how bad that needle stick was.
“I’m sorry,” Abby says with a comforting, practiced smile that likely works on patients, but I see right through it.
She’s being clinical.
Distancing herself.
There’s no real warmth in her expression because to her, I’m just another patient in a long line of them ready to receive whatever bad news she has to give me.
“How bad is it?” I ask, fighting to keep my voice steady. “You have my results here?”
“I do.” She swivels back to her computer and opens a few windows, then falls silent as she reads text that’s far too small for me to glimpse from where I’m sitting.
“I’m ready. Whatever it is… I’m ready.”
I’m not.
Not even in the slightest.
Tremors worm their way through my arms and legs as if I’m about to shake apart at my joints, and no amount of tensing my muscles stops me from shaking.
Abby turns back to me and smiles a smile I’ve given to a thousand patients over the years.
Oh, no.
“Noelle, the patient who was injected with that needle before it entered you was clean. He had no diseases or infections that were a risk to either one of you. His blood was clean. And your tests have all come back negative. You’re completely clear. We tested for everything, from HIV to…”
Her lips are moving, but whatever else she’s saying fades as a roaring fills my ears and drowns her out.
I’m completely clear.
I’m fine.
Not sick. Not infected.
I’m completely okay.
My heart starts pounding as a rush of relief overwhelms me so suddenly that hot tears flood my eyes and a shuddering gasp escapes me.
Abby pauses, her brows lifting in alarm. “Noelle, are you alright?”
I nod, my thoughts racing. I’m fine. I’m not sick.
I’m not sick!
All those days of dreaming and fearing the worst, of crying into my pillow because I was sure my life was over from a silly mistake, and it was for nothing.
I’m okay.
“I’d like you to get tested again in a month just in case,” Abby continues. “It’s merely protocol, so I’d like you to come back in thirty days for a follow-up. There’s also—Noelle?”
I’m on my feet in an instant. “Thank you, thank you so much!” I clutch at her hand and squeeze. “Oh, my God, this is amazing, thank you!”
“Noelle, wait—”
“Thank you! Thank you!” Despite her attempts to talk to me, I rush from her office with the door flying behind me.
“Noelle!”
I have to find him.
There’s only one person in my mind to share this news with, only one person who matters, one person who stayed by my side.
Not my friends who didn’t fully understand the implications of being stuck with a needle or had no time in their own lives to comfort me.
Just one person.
Him.
I sprint through the halls, gasping apologies to anyone I rush past, take the stairs almost two at a time until I’m back on our floor, and then I race into his office.
He’s not there, but that doesn’t deter me.
Back out into the corridor, I run as fast as I dare, dodging a furious glance from Jen as I rush past her and making it around two corners until I finally see him.
Xander.
He stands in the corridor with his arms crossed, gazing up at the numbers above the elevator while waiting for it to arrive.
Never has he looked more handsome than he does now.
My heart pounds so hard that my ribs ache and my lungs complain from how fast I’ve been running, but it’s so worth it the moment I skid to a stop beside Xander and clutch his arm.
“Snow?” His dark brows lift and concern warms his eyes as he looks me over while turning to face me. “Have you been running? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I gasp, clutching his forearm with both hands. “Absolutely… nothing!”
His head tilts in silent question but he unfolds his arms at my prompt.
“I’m okay!” I gasp, panting. “I was just… at the nurse… and she gave me… my results!”
Understanding forms in Xander’s eyes and he’s suddenly less resistant to my pulling. “You’re okay?”
“Completely! I’m all clear… I’m completely all clear! I’m not sick, I’m not infected. I’m fine, I’m totally and completely fine!”
Xander’s other hand shoots out to catch my shoulder as I stumble over myself walking backwards and a real smile gradually creeps across his face.
“Snow,” he says, not breaking eye contact while I drag him with me. “That’s amazing news.”
“It is!”
“You must be so relieved, I can’t imagine the stress of—”
“Oh, shut up,” I grunt, kicking open the door to the on-call room and dragging him inside. “Shut up and kiss me already!”
The door closes behind us and I shove Xander up against it.
He doesn’t resist in the slightest and as the dull light closes in around us, I reach up and cup his handsome face.
His barely-there beard prickles my palm slightly and his skin, cool to the touch, warms beneath my palms as I drag his head down to my level.
At the same time, I lunge up onto my tiptoes and crash our mouths together, claiming the kiss I’ve been craving since our first time together.
Xander’s arms circle around my waist and he pulls me firmly against his body, clutching me tightly while his lips move against mine with the same hungry power flooding my own veins.
His kiss isn’t anything like I expected.
It’s powerful and needy and hungry as he tightens his grip further.
It’s a hundred times better than I could have imagined.