Chapter 23 Snow
SNOW
Xander’s key rests in my palm as I stare at his door. This means nothing and yet everything at the same time.
No one’s ever given me their key before.
Not even my stinking ex. I had my own shitty apartment and then my new shitty apartment, but never has someone else trusted me this much.
“Are you alright, dearie?” A trembling, frail voice rises up behind me and when I turn, I’m face to face with Auriela, Xander’s neighbor. While never having met her before, she’s instantly recognizable from the picture Xander has of her in the living room surrounded by his cats.
“I’m okay,” I reply, rushing forward as Auriela reaches the top of the stairs. It’s rather alarming to see someone as frail and gray as her taking the stairs, but she seems less out of breath than I was when I walked up. “Do you need a hand?”
“Oh, if you wouldn’t mind.” She passes me one of her shopping bags and her smile is as shaky as the rest of her, but her eyes are as young and as bright as ever. “Have we met?”
“No,” I say with a smile. “I’m Snow. Xander’s… friend.”
“Oh, yes.” She nods so quickly that her gray curls rock around her head. “He told me he had a friend visiting. About time, I say.”
“Really?” Together, we slowly walk down the short hallway toward her door.
“Mhm. A young man like that shouldn’t be alone. Not these days.”
“I agree completely.”
“Although I will say…” She chuckles throatily. “The busier he is, the more I get to spend time with his darlings. Have you met them?”
“I have, yes. They’re adorable.”
“Aren’t they? I always dreamed of having cats but my poor Albert was allergic. Of course, he waits until I’m too old to finally kick the bucket, and I said to myself, it would be terribly unkind to get a cat now. And then Xander moved in next door with three!”
She chuckles again. “The world has such an interesting way of bringing you what you deserve.”
“Doesn’t it just?”
As we approach her door, she reaches for my forearm and her strength is surprising given her slight form. “Do you need anything, dear? You looked a little lost.”
“I was just lost in thought,” I assure her. “Xander gave me his key to uh… to get some rest.”
“What a kind boy,” Auriela murmurs. “Such a kind boy. And still kind even after poor Claire.” She fusses with her bags at the door and pulls out her keys.
Reaching for her other bag, my mind buzzes with questions.
She climbed all those stairs with two shopping bags?
Or did she take the elevator and get off close to this floor?
It’s too rude of me to ask but my mind burns with curiosity as I watch her unlock the door.
“Here you go,” I say while placing both bags just inside her door. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”
“No, dear. That’s plenty, thank you so much.” Suddenly, her hand is in mine and when it leaves, a small, hard wrapped lemon drop rests in my palm. “Thank you, dear!” Then Auriela disappears into her apartment and closes the door.
The candy in my hand briefly catches the light and a sudden wave of hot emotion crawls up my throat.
Such a simple gesture and yet it immediately drags me back to being a child and sneaking candy from my nan.
She passed when I was still young but the sudden, unexpected weight in my chest settles as if she passed days ago.
Tears briefly warm behind my eyes, but I blink them away and pocket the candy, then I head back to Xander’s apartment.
What a lovely woman.
Not wanting to appear suspicious, I finally let myself into his apartment.
It feels different from the time I let myself in to make him dinner.
Back then, I took a key for myself. This time, he gave me a key.
A new one, too, judging by how it glints in the light before I slip it into my purse.
I’m greeted immediately by three meowing cats who weave and twist around my ankles, trying to trip me up.
Tiger stretches up my calf and briefly digs in his claws, then he darts away to the kitchen with a loud meow and trips over himself in his hurry.
Willow is much more elegant in her attempts to trip me up but she too wanders toward the kitchen with her tail swishing back and forth.
Rustle remains until she catches my trailing bag strap, then it becomes a game of her following me to the kitchen in lunges as she tries to catch the strap.
“Hungry?” I say to all three as they hop up onto the counter.
Petting each in turn, my mind goes blank with bliss while I fill each of their bowls and lavish them in attention.
Then I slip off to the bedroom and take a long shower.
Under the stream of hot water, I retrace Xander’s touches across my body.
Every place his mouth and teeth lingered, every place he gripped me hard and held me close, and then between my legs where my core still throbs from his incredible fucking.
How can such a quiet, tender man fuck so hard?
Never in my life have I experienced such an exhilarating thing, but it’s addictive.
And that trick with the snow? Exhilarating.
I want to feel him again.
I want that weight back inside me, his hands gripping my body like I’m the most precious thing to him, and his breath against my ear as I pull him closer and closer toward pleasure.
Such thoughts lead my fingers between my thighs but after thirty seconds of stroking through my folds, it’s not the same.
It’s not enough.
Xander is who I need.
Once out of the shower, I catch my own eye in the fogged mirror while dragging the luxuriously soft towel over my skin.
For a brief second, my eyes linger on my abdomen. Still the same, I tell myself.
Nothing has changed.
Ignore it.
Before my mind can wander back down the path of the truth I’m purposely ignoring in favor of this blissful fling with Xander, I take to exploring his apartment.
I’ve spent a lot of time here and yet only in the bedroom and the kitchen. From the bathroom, I wander past the spare room Xander designated as mine and reach Xander’s own room.
It’s as quiet as he is.
The room’s filled with black and white furniture, a perfectly made bed, and dark curtains on the window.
Other than a dark horror book on his bedside table with a leather bookmark, there are barely any signs that someone actually sleeps in here.
I wander inside and breathe deeply, closing my eyes.
The comforting scent of Xander fills my lungs and spreads soothingly to every corner inside me until I wrap my arms around myself in a hug.
I miss him.
It’s only been a couple of hours.
Curiosity leads me to check his neatly packed and folded clothes in his drawers, his equally neat suits hung in his closet, and his shoes all lined up in a row.
Just as I’m about to close the door, something catches my eye.
Up on the top shelf is a cardboard box that’s soft around the corners with age and slightly dusty to the touch.
Mementos?
Is this too nosy?
The box is in my hands before I finish the thought. I’ll take one peek and then put it back.
The top folds open in a soft flurry of dust and cardboard, but rather than Xander’s innermost secrets, the box is filled to the brim with Christmas decorations.
Tinsel, slightly weathered with age, covers the top but just underneath, baubles and other decorations glint at me.
It takes me an hour to unpack the box with the cats’ help, check all the decorations for anything unsafe or broken, and decorate Xander’s apartment.
With no tree, I quickly visit Auriela for tape since I can’t find any in Xander’s place, then I’m back in his living room winding tinsel around his table legs, attaching it to his windowsills and door frames.
I pin streamers to the ceiling as close to the corner as I can to mask the hole, pin Santa’s stockings to the wall just above the TV, and spend twenty minutes sorting and taping an entire collage of snowflakes to one wall after ensuring the tape won’t strip the wallpaper upon removal.
Then I hook up the lights.
He has multiple sets, both multicolored and bright white, so I settle for the white ones in the kitchen around the cabinets, then set the colored ones up in the living room around the doorframe.
“Beautiful,” I say to the cats, hands on my hips while admiring my work.
Xander’s living room has transformed from a simple and empty space to one full of color and light.
Willow spreads across the table, completely unbothered while Rustle stares mournfully at the tinsel she tried to chew. Some lemon juice keeps her at bay, but she continues to stare.
I check my phone. Nothing from Xander.
Nothing from anyone, actually, not even my friends. My only contact comes from marketing and junk emails.
My chest tightens, so I quickly put that out of my mind, grab some leftover tinsel, and head to the bedroom.
After stripping down to my underwear, I wind the tinsel through my bra and panties, shivering as each strand tickles against my skin, and excitement bubbles in my chest.
This’ll be so worth it.
After I’ve thoroughly dressed myself up and added a splash of tinsel to my hair, I wander back into the living room and relax back on the couch to wait for Xander.
He’s going to get the best surprise when he walks through that door and finds me ready and eager for him.
I wait.
And wait.
Sleep comes unexpectedly and time passes me, completely unaware until warmth on my abdomen drags me back away.
Opening my eyes, my heart pounds as I struggle to get my bearings and sit up braced on one arm.
Shit. Is Xander home?
No. He would have woken me.
Tiger tilts his head and kneads gently on my bare abdomen, his warmth alerting me to how cold I’ve grown from falling asleep on the couch in only my underwear.
As I slide my fingers through his fur, the front door clicks suddenly with a key in the lock and my heart lifts, a smile spreading across my face.
Fighting a yawn while waking up fully, I relax back on the couch after rolling Tiger off my body and drape one arm up and behind my head, eyes half-lidded, waiting for Xander.
I’m going to make him regret denying my orgasm so long at our picnic.
A shadow moves across the living room door and my smile widens. “Xander, it’s about time—”
“Snow? What the hell are you doing?”
I leap up in alarm, clutching the cushion to my chest as if it can protect me from the shocked, angry person filling the doorway.
“Thea?” I gasp, frozen to the spot. “Oh, my God, I didn’t know you were going to be here!”