THREE
Present Day
I ’m filing away my boss’s backup documents for court on Monday when my phone rings, an unknown number flashing on the screen. I groan, my head throbbing from yet another sleepless night being Miss Pratt’s second brain.
It’s not easy training under a world-class lawyer, but I didn’t expect it to be. Just the fact that I’ve managed to secure my position here after winning my internship at her law firm three years ago should be a celebration in itself. And most days, it is. Most days, when the loneliness doesn’t overtake me like it did today.
I pick my phone up from the desk, placing down the papers cradled at my chest. It’s 7 p.m., and I haven’t made plans with anyone. Not since Lucian and Sterling—my only friends—are still busy fucking on their honeymoon in Bali.
Reluctantly, I accept the call and put the phone to my ear, only to be met with silence from the other end of the line. I frown, looking at the screen to see if we’re still con nected. We are.
“Hello? Who is this?”
Shuffling and breathing, but still no words.
I curse under my breath and I’m about to end the call when an unfamiliar voice finally comes through.
“Miss Finnegan? I apologize for the broken connection. The location I’m calling from is most certainly at fault. This is Saint Tanner, on behalf of the military. Do you have a moment?”
My words get stuck in my throat, and my knees buckle so suddenly I have to sit down.
“Miss Finnegan?”
“Yes. Hello. How can I help you?”
I don’t ask him how he has my number, or what he wants. If anything, this is probably something to do with my dead brother, since that’s the only reason the military has ever contacted me in any way, shape, or form. But to reach out now, after all these years…
“I have the commander on a secure line. He wants to speak with you. May I transfer you over?”
My eyes round at the corners in shock.
“E-Excuse me?” I breathe out, my entire world spinning. I’m sent into a daze I’m failing to control.
“Commander Rowan King is on a secure line. May I—”
“No, I heard you. I’m just… Yes, I’ll take the call.”
This isn’t happening. How the hell is this happening?
The line breaks for a split second before I hear it snap back in place on a different connection. My heart leaps to my throat, and my legs quiver. What do I say? What the hell do I say to this man? He’s a real person now, no longer just a ghost in my fantasies. And I have no idea how to deal with that fact.
“Hello, Dove,” he says, his deep voice searing along my nerve endings, making me press my thighs together behind my desk. Oh, God.
I run a nervous hand through my hair, trying to find my words.
“H-Hello.”
“I…” he starts, and I clutch the phone tighter. “I know it’s been years…”
My body burns for him, even here, even now, even when it’s only his voice.
Jesus, Dove. Pull yourself together.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I wish I could’ve been there for you after Cole’s death.”
An old ache settles inside my chest, and I struggle to come up with anything to say.
“Cole was my best friend,” he adds. “And my best lieutenant. I should’ve been there for his family when he died. Please forgive me for not being able to.”
“His journals never made it back home with his belongings,” I breathe out, looking out into the distance as I relive the memory. “I wish I knew what he was feeling… thinking… before he…”
“I have them. Here, at my house.”
“Oh.” I ponder the reason for that, face flushing hotter. “Is that…” I gulp. “Is that why we’re on this call?”
He grunts—there’s a moment of hesitation there, as if he shouldn’t really have called me at all.
“No.”
I nod absently, gripping my necklace.
“You know why I called, Dove,” he says, his voice deepening two more octaves.
I can’t breathe.
“It wasn’t enough. Touching you that day… You felt like the most amazing fucking drug. It was intoxicating. And then I never tasted you again. Ever. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”
“Rowan,” I whisper, and the word rolls off my tongue like butter on warm toast, as if saying it is as normal as breathing. This is our second conversation in five years, and yet I feel completely comfortable calling him by his first name. “What are you saying…?”
He can’t possibly remember me like that.
He exhales in my ear, a breathy, needy sound, and I nearly whimper in response.
“In my dreams, when I fuck you, you call out my name every night. Raw, and needy, and dripping with want. It’s the sweetest fucking sound I’ve heard in my life. But I need to hear it for real, Dove. Because if I don’t, my sanity is simply going to snap. And I don’t know…” He groans. “I don’t know how else to deal with it. Not anymore.”
“You don’t mean that.” I shake my head as my brows knit together in shock.
“I do mean that. And I intend to show you, in explicit detail, how I really wanted to touch you that day but couldn’t.” He sighs. “I know a lot of time has passed. But to be completely honest, even if you don’t feel the same way I do, that won’t stop me from trying to make you mine.”
Jesus Christ.
Gathering my thoughts, I pause, hearing only silence from the other side.
How can this happen? He’s the Combatant Commander of the Army. He’s fighting a war right now. And I’m just a girl from the suburbs who likes to imagine we’re together from time to time.
What he’s telling me is insane… and so is the fact that I’m considering it without really giving it much thought.
After all, even if this is about him quenching his thirst for one night… why shouldn’t I explore it? Maybe it will show me he’s not who I thought he’d be. And then I’d finally be freed from his spell. I could start seeing other men—normal men, like Jared, or the guy on the marketing team at Miss Pratt’s law firm. Men I might have a shot at being in a relationship with, because they’re just as regular as I am.
“I’ve had… dreams, too,” I confess, keeping my voice low so nobody else hears me. “Dreams I couldn’t talk to anyone about. I kept seeing you everywhere, feeling crazy for willingly refusing to leave the prison of the memory we both have. I still haven’t moved on from it. And I don’t understand…” I shake my head. “I don’t understand why or how it happened. But I know there’s no way I’m going to say no to seeing you again.”
His breathing deepens, but it’s still very much controlled. A stark contrast from mine that alternately keeps getting trapped in my lungs or coming out too fast.
“When can I see you, angel?” he asks.
Just then, Miss Pratt enters the room, and I have to pretend I’m not utterly turned on by the voice of the man on the other end of the line… and that my panties aren’t drenched, and my face isn’t flushing hot.
I hate this. I wish I had more time to speak with him, to hear that voice for as long as I can.
“Everything all right?” my boss asks absently. “Go home. I need you rested for court.”
I only get to nod before she exits the room again, her lips thinning my way in a silent good bye.
“I’m… I’m sorry. That was my boss. I’m still at work,” I tell Rowan. “I… could see you tonight. Right now, actually. Unless that’s too short a notice. No, what am I saying? You’re a really busy man. How about—”
“Right now? I was hoping you’d say that, so I wouldn’t freak you out with my impatience.”
I relax a little, leaning back in my chair. “Patience is not my strong suit either,” I smile through the phone.
“Isn’t it now?” He pauses, a hint of something dark hanging from his question. “I’m needed at the Aerospace Command Center tomorrow morning. Could I possibly get you to join me there?”
“Oh. Isn’t that in another state? What was it…” I pause, trying to remember. “Minnesota?”
“Colorado,” he gently corrects me. “We’re flying there in an hour. And returning tomorrow morning. You don’t have to worry about anything. All you have to do is come.”
“So… an overnight stay.”
“Correct.”
“With… you.”
“You and me. Alone, for the whole night… in Colorado. Yes.” I can sense a smile when he speaks those words.
And then? What happens then?
I want to ask him, but I don’t. It sounds like a total one-night stand, but fuck it. We’re not part of the same world anyway. And I know I have to get this man out of my system before the longing starts to get the worst of me.
“Okay,” I tell him. “Okay, I’d love to join you. Meet you at the airport, then?”
“Splendid. A car is already on the way to pick you up,” he says, ignoring my question. “No need to go back home unless you want to. But I promise, you won’t need anything you might be thinking to bring. Everything will be ready for you in Colorado.”
“Why does this sound like you planned all of this before asking if I wanted to come?”
“Because I did. Because I’ve already decided that you’re mine.”