11. Franco
11
FRANCO
E ven though Chloe was emotional and seemed to be on the verge of breaking down, I noticed the difference.
She said she never regretted me . But she couldn’t say that she didn’t regret leaving me the way she had.
“I can’t ever regret you, Franco.” She licked her lips as she lifted her watery gaze to mine. Her hand came up to slide along my jaw, and I couldn’t help but lean into her touch. I’d missed it. I’d longed for her tender sweetness for so many years, and I was beholden to her affection again.
Staring down into her blue gaze, I saw every bit of the open vulnerability shining there. She was trusting, but still so scared. She was opening up, yet holding back.
Too much time had passed between us for this conversation to go differently. Yet, I refused to let her think she couldn’t rely on me. I had to convince her that I was here for her and that no matter the distance between us, I would protect her. She had my heart. She always did. And that wouldn’t ever change.
The delicate stroke of her soft fingertip on my skin rocked through me. Such a gentle caress, and it coursed through me so fiercely. Any connection with her would hit me hard, but I refused to tumble back onto the bed and take her hard again. I couldn’t fuck her senseless as a diversion from what needed to be shared now.
Truths. She had to come clean, fully honest about anything and everything she wanted to hide from me yesterday.
Stroking her hair back from her face, I kept her snug against my side. But I was firm in the decision that I wouldn’t take her again. Not hard, nor gentle. I couldn’t let sex dictate all that came between us now.
“You don’t regret me, yet you can stand by your decision to leave me.”
She lowered her gaze. Shame and pain filled her face, but I tipped her head so she’d look me in the eyes again.
“Chloe, I need to know why you ran. Why you ran from me.”
She sucked on her lower lip for a moment, hesitant. “It was ten years ago.”
“It wouldn’t make a difference if it was ten days ago. Why, Chloe? Why’d you run from me if you loved me?”
She tried again to look away, but I deserved more. I was due the truth. I lifted her chin again. “Why couldn’t you fight for us, for us to stay together?”
“You don’t understand,” she replied on a shaky whisper. Tears leaked from her eyes, and as they streaked over her cheeks, I wiped them clear from her soft skin. Even though she couldn’t see me, she didn’t make a move to shy away or cower from my direct gaze.
Watching her crumble and break apart was hard. It broke my heart to witness her suffering and crying so softly like this, like the sadness and despair had to slip out because she couldn’t bottle it in and hold it captive any longer. If I was the key to unlock the dam of all that she’d kept in, so be it. If she needed me to firmly ask for long overdue answers, then I would persist and beg for her to explain.
I had to know. I was due an explanation. I would hold her and let her soak my shirt with her tears. Determined to have an answer after all this time, I would wait for her to overcome her emotions and reach a point where she could explain.
Tears were a weakness—from my enemies. Deep, heart-felt sorrow was a grievance—from anyone who dared to come against the family.
Chloe was the exception. She would always be my exception. My life was full of danger and threats, of violence and death. Darkness had to rule sometimes, and I embraced how skilled I was at dealing it out, of being the family’s top capo.
I didn’t give mercy to anyone. No one.
Except her.
This beautiful soul was the only exception in my life, and she always would be. It was the biggest reason I used to think we made so much sense together. That we were so compatible as extreme opposites. She was soft and sweet and delicate to express tender emotions while I had to train to be hard and mean and wield my power with ill intentions. She was the light to my darkness. The Yin to my Yang. It united us. Our love and acceptance of each other tied us closely together in that deep affection, but still, it wasn’t enough to keep us as one.
I never saw her as weak and prone to wishing for peace. She never held it against me when I had to be cruel and harsh. We were opposites, but stronger together.
“Help me understand,” I said as I rubbed her back. Giving her a moment to collect herself, I waited in suspense for her to speak.
“My parents wouldn’t approve of us,” she replied.
This again. I shook my head slightly. “They didn’t approve of our hooking up in the first place. They told you not to date me at all, and you didn’t listen.”
Her shoulders slumped as she sighed. “I know. I couldn’t have stayed away from you then.”
“But you could stay away for ten years?”
“I couldn’t see a way forward,” she replied. Her tone was firmer, bolstered with more surety and confidence, but I couldn’t tell if she was sticking to that line because she believed it or because she’d rehearsed it so many times that it sank in.
“I couldn’t see a way forward to be with you and to avoid the wrath of my parents.”
“Fuck them, Chloe.” I grunted, confused how they’d have so much control over her. “Fuck them.”
She rubbed below her eyes, still getting over the tears. “It’s not that simple.”
“Then simplify it for me,” I said. “What am I not understanding? You said you loved me?—”
“I did. I wasn’t making that up.”
“And you know how much I loved you.” I was careful not to say it in the present tense, that I loved her currently as well. That was too big of a power for her to know she held over me. That I was still as crazy for her as I was back then.
“It would have been so damn simple.” I tucked her long, golden locks back and ducked to her eye level. “You could’ve lived with me. Dante had already approved it. You could have moved in with me while I trained and started my career. You would’ve been protected.”
She sucked on her lip, showing me her tell for when she was debating what she thought and wondered.
“I know that we’re different people, that I’m supposed to be this big, bad wolf your parents never approved of. But you know me, Chloe. You know exactly who I am. I can’t change who I am, where I come from, and who I work for. But you would’ve been safe with me. You would’ve been protected and cared for. Safer with me than under the influence of this ex who’s stalking you.”
She furrowed her brow, staring at me so solemnly. “I wish I could’ve been protected. Wes is a horrible asshole. He was terrible to me.”
I gritted my teeth, keeping as tight of a leash as I could to rein in my anger. Fury coursed through my veins, heating me up with a rage I couldn’t wait to vent. I would, but not on her. I couldn’t right now. Not until I knew why our love wasn’t good enough to fight for.
“He was manipulative. Abusive. And every time I tried to leave him, he’d find me.”
“How?” I intended to find out every fucking detail about this guy so we could take care of him for her. I’d be asking her for information about him. Right now, I wanted to focus on getting an explanation for why she left me. That was the priority in my mind. It was the main mystery I needed an answer for. Still, I couldn’t help but ask about this fucker she could’ve been spared ever meeting if she’d stayed with me.
“Every time I left, my parents would tell him where I was. It took me a while to wizen up and get some street smarts about how to lie low.”
“And it never once occurred to you to seek me out?”
“Years had passed, Franco.” She frowned at me. “You can’t blame me for thinking you would be so mad and hurt that I left in the first place.”
I was angry and so wounded. “But you still could have relied on me, Chloe. Always. When I gave you my heart, I did so knowing you’d have it forever.”
She wasn’t convinced. I saw the doubt in her eyes. She’d been on the run and trying to hide from this guy for so long, fear and anxiety ruled her well.
“It’s not that simple,” she argued softly. “He would’ve only tracked me here. I suspect he has, and he shot up my workplace to prove that I’ll never be safe from him no matter where I go.”
“I dare him to come find you here.” I reveled in the confidence shining in her eyes. Just sitting here and talking gave her strength she hadn’t realized she could find in me. “He won’t get past me.”
“How can you care?” she asked, curious in an almost sad, dejected tone. “After all I did to dismiss our love, how can you be so quick to come to my defense?”
“I always will, Chloe. You can count on that.”
She looked at my lips. When she met my gaze again, I saw the lust building in the bright blue brilliance mesmerizing me to never glance away.
“You can count on me for anything you need.”
She twisted toward me, lifting her other hand to slide up my chest until she draped her arm over my shoulder. “Even another chance to forget it all? For just another moment.” As she pressed her lips to my cheek, I closed my eyes at the delicate, sensual offering she presented me.
“How?” I asked, knowing damn well what she meant.
“Make me forget. Make me forget all the years we’ve spent apart,” she said, leaving soft, barely-there kisses along my jaw.
“That’s what I need, Franco. I need you. I want you to show me that all that matters between us is what we share right now.”
I growled slightly, frustrated with keeping myself in check.
“I need you ,” she repeated, a breath away from a kiss as she leaned into me. I caught her arms, both to keep her steady from falling over me and pushing us both back onto the bed and to maintain distance.
As I held her at arm’s length, she was temptation personified.
I needed her too, but I still wanted my damn answers.
She was still hiding something, and until I was sure that she wouldn’t spring any more surprises on me, I had to keep my wits about me.
Easier said than done with her.
Especially when she closed the inches between us and crushed her lips to mine.