Chapter 14 – Haley #2
I watch Mark walk away and wonder if he’s the one harassing me. He seems passive-aggressive enough to do something like that.
“Where are you off to?” Andrea asks when she stops at my desk as I’m packing up my things. Christian is across the room talking to the instructor.
“Back to my dorm. This is my last class of the day.”
She notices my bandage. “What happened to your finger?”
“Paper cut.”
“It’s not your day, is it?”
I shrug. “I guess not.”
“Which dorm are you in?”
Her question takes me off guard. “Faulkner. Why?”
“We’re in Milton, which is right next door. Christian and I attended Game Night Friday. I didn’t see you there.”
“No, I had plans off campus.”
“You didn’t miss much. It was pretty lame. Hey, if you’re heading back to your room, Christian and I can walk with you, if you’d like. We’re heading that way.”
“If you don’t mind, that would be great. I’d appreciate the company.”
We leave the science building together and head for the dorms.
Like before, Andrea and I walk together, chatting on the way, while Christian trails behind us watching videos on his phone.
When we reach my building, Andrea walks up the steps and opens the front door. “Can I come up and see your room? I want to see if it’s the same size as ours in Milton. I heard Faulkner’s rooms are larger than ours.”
“Sure, but there’s not much to see.”
Andrea and Christian follow me up the stairs to my floor.
“You do know these buildings have elevators, right?” Christian asks as he starts panting after two flights.
“It’s just one more floor,” I say, chuckling at him.
He laughs. “Are you a glutton for punishment?”
“No. I’m trying to get my steps in.” I pat my belly. “I can already tell I’ve gained weight since school started.”
“Haven’t you ever heard of the freshman fifteen?” he says. “You’re supposed to gain weight when you start college. We all do. Food is everywhere on campus.”
“I’m the one who should be getting my steps in,” Andrea says, patting her belly. She’s breathing pretty hard. To Christian, she says, “Dude, remind me to take the stairs more often.”
“Don’t worry, babe,” he tells her. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”
When we reach my floor, they follow me to my room. “Here it is.”
“Well, show us,” Andrea says, gesturing for me to open the door.
I unlock the door and open it. “Melissa? It’s me, and I have a couple of friends with me.”
But there’s no reply. She’s not here.
I step back to let Andrea and Christian in. Fortunately, our room is almost always tidy. There aren’t any pairs of underwear lying on the floor or discarded take-out containers piling up on the desks.
“Your room is bigger!” Andrea says. “Don’t you think so, Christian?”
He glances around. “Definitely.” He glances at our two closet doors, which are currently closed. “You don’t have your own bathroom, do you?”
I laugh. “No, those are both closets.”
“You each get your own closet?” Andrea asks.
“I’m guessing you don’t?” I ask, amused by her reaction.
She shakes her head. “Next term, I’m going to see if I can move to Faulkner.”
“What about me?” Christian asks, feigning offense. “You’d just up and leave me?”
“No, silly. You’d move over here, too. Then we can pal around with Haley.” She glances one last time around the room. “Which bed is yours?”
“This one.”
She spots Ellie reclining against my pillow. “Cute.”
“Ellie is my emotional support elephant. I’ve had her since I was little.”
“Don’t laugh. I have a stuffed hedgehog named Winnie on my bed. We definitely should be friends.” She holds out her hand. “Give me your phone, and I’ll give you my contact info. If you ever want to do something, let me know.”
I unlock my phone and hand it to her. I figure it can’t hurt to have another friend.
She quickly taps as she creates a new contact for me. “There you go. My last name is Pearce.” She hands my phone back. “Now send me a text so I’ll have your number, too.”
After we finish exchanging info, Andrea and Christian leave.
A moment later, the door opens and Melissa walks in. “Hey. How’s it going?”
“Fine. How about you?”
“Good. I just got done with track practice.” She pretends to sniff her armpit. “I reek. I’m going to grab a shower and then settle down to do homework. What about you?”
“Same. I mean homework.”
Melissa sets her things down and grabs her shower bag out of her closet. “See you!”
I stay in my dorm room for the rest of the afternoon and evening, not wanting to venture out except to take a shower before bed.
I’m starting to understand how Ruby Foster feels.
She’s the girlfriend of another one of Philip’s friends, Miguel Rodriguez.
Ruby has agoraphobia and rarely leaves their apartment.
I could never understand that before, but now it’s starting to make sense.
When you feel that the outside world isn’t safe, you just want to hole up in your safe place.
I’m starting to loathe the idea of leaving my dorm room because when I’m out in public, I can’t help but feel like someone is watching me. In reality, I know that’s not the case, but tell that to the irrational part of my brain.
The truth is, someone out there is thinking about me when they shouldn’t be. Someone is fixating on me for no reason. I just wish I knew who it was so I could do something about it.
Something awakens me in the middle of the night, sending my pulse racing. I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Melissa’s sound asleep in her bed; I can hear her breathing.
Still, I can’t shake feeling paranoid. I slip out of bed and walk to the door to test the knob and make sure it’s locked. To make sure I’m safe.
My heart pounds, and I expect the door to fly open at any second with Freddie Kruger standing on the other side ready to slice me open with his blade-like claws. I really should stop watching horror movies.
Despite the shivers crawling down my spine, I reach out in the dark, groping around to find the doorknob so I can make sure it’s locked. I grasp the knob, turn it, but it doesn’t move. It’s locked.
Thank God.
I climb back into bed and pull the covers up to my chin. I’m wide awake now, and my mind is racing. I want so badly to call Philip, just to hear his reassuring voice, but it’s two-thirty in the morning. He’s asleep, and I don’t want to wake him just because I’m freaking out. Same with my parents.
As I lie there wide awake, I reexamine every conversation I’ve had with anyone here. Everyone I’ve talked to.
I keep checking the time on my phone, watching the minutes pass by. Then the hours.
At some point, I guess I finally doze off because the next thing I know, early sunlight is peeking through the curtains. Melissa’s closet door is open, and I hear her quietly rummaging around in there.
I check the time. It’s six-fifteen.
When she comes out dressed in her workout clothes, she sees I’m awake. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?”
“No, you didn’t. I was tossing and turning all night.”
“Is everything okay? Can I get you something?”
“I’m fine. Just a bit stressed, I guess. Are you going for a run?” She usually runs every morning.
“Yes. Go back to sleep. You don’t need to be up this early.”
As she leaves the room, I listen to be sure she locks the door behind her.
Philip will be getting up soon. So will my parents. I should call them. Tell them what’s happening.
I’m so exhausted, I try to fall back to sleep. I don’t have class until nine, so I can get a couple more hours of sleep in if I’m lucky.
I recite the alphabet in my head, like my mom taught me to do when I was little and couldn’t sleep, but that doesn’t help. I don’t think anything could help right now. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins as my pulse races.
I can’t go on like this, keeping this to myself. It’s driving me crazy. I need to tell Philip and my parents. I need help.