Chapter 22 – Haley
Dinner was fun, not to mention delicious. I think I’ll take Charlie up on her offer to teach me how to cook. Mom and Dave work such long hours, they don’t have time to do much cooking. We mostly order out.
When I get upstairs to my room, I climb onto the bed, pull my tablet and political science textbook from my backpack, and prop a couple of pillows against the headboard to get comfortable.
It’s too bad there’s not a desk or table in here where I can sit to do my homework.
I suppose I could work at the kitchen table, but this is more private and certainly cozier.
Tomorrow is Thursday, so that means I’ll go to my political science and British lit classes. Those are the priorities this evening.
I finish my poly sci reading assignment due tomorrow, taking notes as I go. When I’m done, I take a shower, change into my PJs, and get ready for bed. It’s been a wild week, and I’m exhausted.
But when I get in bed, I can’t sleep despite how tired I feel. So I grab Jane Eyre. Our papers aren’t due for a few more weeks, but I want to get a head start.
I’m at the halfway point in the book when I glance up and notice Philip standing in the doorway to my room.
I left the door open, on purpose, hoping he’d come to see me.
I’ve been distracted all evening by what happened between us earlier, before dinner.
Our conversation was just getting good when Charlie interrupted us.
“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to disturb your studying, but there’s an app I need to put on your phone.” He pushes away from the door jamb and walks over to my bed. When he holds out his hand, I give him my phone. “I need your passcode.”
I give him the four-digit number without hesitation, and he unlocks my phone. Then he proceeds to download an app. “This is a proprietary McIntyre Security app.”
I scoot over so there’s room for him to sit down.
“This is your panic button,” he says, gesturing to a big red button in the center of my phone screen.
“It’s kind of hard to miss.”
Grinning, he adds, “Just open the app, and the button will appear. If you push it, all three of us will get a notification that you’re in danger. We’ll receive your exact coordinates, and we’ll come running.”
“Hypothetically speaking, what if I get scared in the night and push the button?”
“I’ll be in your bedroom two seconds later, followed shortly after by Charlie and Mateo.”
“What if I push it at school?”
“Then it’ll just be me. But Haley? I don’t plan to let you out of my sight at school, so if you’re in trouble, I’ll already know it before you can even access the app.
” He lays my phone on the nightstand. “The house is locked up tight, and the security system is on. Don’t open any doors or windows, or the alarms will go off, and they’re loud.
If you hear something in the night, or you’re worried, call for me. I’ll hear you.”
“Okay.”
He turns to go, pausing at the doorway. “I’ll let you finish your homework now. Goodnight, Haley. I’ll see you in the morning.”
I wait for him to kiss me goodnight at least, but instead he nods and turns to walk away. “Goodnight, Philip,” I say after he’s gone.
Something’s been bothering me all evening, but I haven’t been able to put a name to it until now.
He’s acting like a bodyguard, and not like a boyfriend. It’s like his brain has shifted gears from one role to the other. But can’t he be both? It doesn’t have to be one or the other, right?
Layla and Jason are engaged now, and he’s her bodyguard. At one time, Miguel was officially Ruby’s bodyguard, and now they’re together. Even Beth McIntyre was once a client, and Shane acted as her bodyguard, and now they’re married with two kids.
It doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be both.
I get out of bed and slip into the hallway bathroom to brush my teeth and hair, leaving it loose to fall past my shoulders.
As I stare at my reflection, I wonder what Philip sees when he looks at me.
I’m not a girly girl. I don’t wear make-up.
My lashes are dark, so I don’t need mascara.
My lips are naturally pink. My complexion is clear, so I don’t bother with foundation.
What does he see when he looks at me?
And why do I feel like he’s treating me like I’m a client now, instead of his girlfriend?
As I leave the bathroom, I hesitate, debating whether to turn left and go back to my room, or turn right and confront Philip in his room.
I turn right, because if I don’t get an answer to my question, I’ll toss and turn all night long, get zero sleep, and be useless in the morning.
The upstairs hallway light is off, and Philip’s door is ajar. His room is dark, though, and I can’t see much of anything. “Philip?”
“Yes? Is everything okay?”
I swallow hard. “Not really.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I want you for my bodyguard anymore.”
The bed creaks as he sits up and switches on his bedside lamp. “What? Why?” His expression is one of confusion with a tinge of panic.
“Since you became my bodyguard, I feel like you’re treating me as a client and not as your girlfriend. I liked it better before, when you were my boyfriend.”
He shoots out of bed and comes toward me. I barely have time to register the fact he’s wearing only a pair of knit shorts. I get a good look at his naked torso, and it’s a lot to take in. Muscles and broad shoulders, the happy trail leading beneath his waistband. His legs are long. He’s—wow.
“Haley!” He grabs my hands and pulls me into his room before he closes the door. “Don’t say that, babe. It’s not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny. I’m serious.”
“I don’t treat you any different—”
“Yes, you do. Suddenly, it’s all about rules and apps and protocols. What about us? You didn’t even kiss me goodnight.”
He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. I can see him mulling it over, letting my words sink in, and realizing I’m right.
“Shit,” he says as he pulls me into his arms.
He walks backward, taking me along with him until he reaches the foot of his bed. He sits down and pulls me between his knees. For the longest time, he gazes into my eyes. Then he closes his eyes for a moment, and when they reopen, they’re filled with remorse. “I’m sorry.”
He brings both of my hands to his mouth and kisses my knuckles.
“Honestly, I didn’t realize I was doing that, but now that you’ve pointed it out, I can’t argue with you.
” He links our fingers together. “It wasn’t intentional.
It’s just that the roles are so different.
One is supposed to make you happy, and the other is supposed to keep you safe.
And right now, safety is what you need most.”
“Can’t you do both at the same time? Layla and Jason make it work. And Shane—”
“Yes, I know all about Shane’s history with Beth.” He sighs heavily.
I free my hands from his grasp so I can cup his face. “If I have to choose—”
“You don’t have to choose. I refuse to give up either role. Yes, I’m your boyfriend, but I’m also your bodyguard right now until this matter is resolved.”
I close the distance between us and press my lips to his. His arms come around me, and he pulls me closer. He deepens the kiss, his lips nudging mine apart.
I pull back. “Philip, we have this house all to ourselves.”
He studies me a moment. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean we have to—”
“But I want to.”
“Are you sure, Haley? Absolutely sure?”
I cup his face and gaze into his eyes. “Absolutely. Do you have condoms? If not, I brought some.”
He laughs. “Yes, of course I have condoms. I can’t believe you—where did you get them?”
“Online.”
He shakes his head. “Leave it to the class valedictorian to be prepared for all contingencies.”
I take his reaction to mean he’s saying yes, finally. I press my palms against his rock-hard shoulders and push him back onto the bed. Then I climb up, straddle his hips, and lean down to kiss him. I may be a virgin still, but I’ve seen movies. Lots of movies.
“You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?” he asks as he rolls us so that I’m lying underneath him. But he’s careful to keep his weight off of me.
He scoots us both up so our heads are on the pillows. While he kisses me, he reaches back and opens the top drawer of his nightstand, pulls something out, and slips it beneath his pillow.
Brushing my hair back from my face, he gazes down at me. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
I smile. “I’ll bet you say that to all your girlfriends.”
He shakes his head. “Just you.” He cups the side of my face. “The first night I met you, I knew you were the one. My brain said, ‘That’s her! She’s the one!’ And then your dad glared daggers at me during the entire party, and I knew it would be a long time before I’d get a chance like this.”
When he leans down to kiss me, his lips coax mine open. “I’ll try my best to be gentle. I don’t want to hurt you.”
I slip my fingers into his hair and tug lightly on the strands. “You won’t.” When he opens his mouth to say something, I cut him off quickly. “Don’t say it! I know what you’re going to say. Just don’t.”
I don’t want to hear any more about his size, or that it’s going to hurt the first time. I already know it will, and I just want us to get past that.
He resumes kissing me, and suddenly we’re done talking. His fingers slip into my hair, and his lips trail kisses across my cheek and down my neck. When he kisses the soft spot underneath my jaw, delicious tingles skate down my spine, making me shiver as goosebumps erupt all over me.
I run my hands over his broad shoulders and down his back, lightly scraping my nails against his bare skin. He moans, and the sound lights me up inside.
When his lips reach my clavicles, one of his hands travels down the front of my oversized T-shirt and slips up underneath it. He’s touched me before—my breasts—but this time it feels different, because this time it’s just the start.