19. Romeo
19
ROMEO
T essa and I moved to the penthouse that I seldom stayed in. I liked the freedom of staying wherever I pleased, unsettled and without any obligations to remain in any one location for long.
With Tessa, though, I wanted to provide her with security and stability. After her mother’s hateful words of disowning her and casting her out of her house, I was driven to make sure the sweet woman belonged with me. She’d never need to test out the theory that her mom and dad wouldn’t welcome her back home.
“Like this?” she asked one evening when I brought her to a shooting range. It was near the mansion my father lived in with Nina, but according to him, they wanted a quiet night in. All their nights were in, but I wouldn’t push for a chance to visit. Besides, Nina and Tessa had video calls almost daily.
Tonight was another exercise in teaching her self-defense, and that included training her how to hold and use a gun. Safety was paramount. I offered Nina self-defense lessons as well, but I was certain my father would handle those.
“Higher,” I coached. Standing behind her, I wrapped my arms around her and corrected her grip on the gun. Her ear protection muffs remained hanging over her neck, and the hard plastic shells knocked into mine around my neck as I stepped into her space.
Her breath hitched, and I refrained from growling. Desire coiled within me, always at a constant low burn. Pressing up against her back like this and hugging her to demonstrate a proper grip was nothing short of torture.
Fuck me. Hearing her gasps and sensing her reaction to my proximity was like playing with fire. Every little thing she did somehow became more sensual. More erotic.
I'd stopped eating with her because staring at her licking a spoon or fork was tormenting. I couldn’t stay in the same room with her when she read because any time she sighed like she was reading something sentimental alerted me to watching all of her facial expressions. Likewise for when something urged her to huff lightly, making me curious what had annoyed or amused her.
We’d fallen in a more domesticated routine of being roommates, but with a serious tension that neither of us would talk about. I was living with her but forcing myself to keep things as platonic as possible.
Until she made a move, I had to keep my wits about me.
“Like this?” she asked, her voice breathy and low, suggesting that she struggled with her ass against my groin, my arms brushing over the sides of her breasts.
Ever so slightly, she turned her head toward mine. Her smooth cheek rubbed along mine, and I damn near shook with need.
All it would take was one inch of a pivot, a single shift to the side to bring my mouth to hers and steal a kiss. A kiss I’d been thinking about and dreaming about daily and nightly.
This woman was on my mind constantly, and I wasn’t sure which of us might snap first.
“Yes.” I stepped back, unable to handle the temptation of her in my arms and leaning back toward me like she wordlessly had to tell me that she needed me near.
The next night, I supervised her learning how to get out of a chokehold. The Constella soldier who sparred with her and gave her the basics of self-defense was an older man, a good guy who wouldn’t cop a feel. Watching from the sides of the private gym I had here, I sighed and wondered how I might get my hands on her. Not to fight, but?—
“How’s she been doing?” Danicia asked. She’d come by to check on my arm, and I was glad that she approved of my progress so far. My gunshot wound was the reason I wasn’t the one training Tessa on the mats over there. But even if I did have all of my normal range of motion, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to control my desire. Holding her. Tugging her close. Overpowering her and dropping her to the mat. It was all for an educational purpose, but with her…
“Good,” I answered quickly.
Danicia laughed. “Good?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“No more hints of trauma she’s struggling to cope with?” She looked at her smart watch. “It’s only been three weeks since that night. Sometimes, that kind of recovery takes months. Years.”
I shrugged the shoulder of the arm that wasn’t shot. “I haven’t heard her crying in the middle of the night anymore.”
Danicia raised her brows. “How?”
I frowned, not wanting to discuss anything too personal. I had yet to share a bed with Tess again, but that wasn’t any of Danicia’s business. “She leaves her door cracked open, and I leave mine cracked open as well. I’d hear her.”
The former doctor crossed her arms. “And if she was, what would you do?”
Memories of the one night of vanilla sex filled me with both elation and dread. I enjoyed having Tess in the deepest way possible, but I also wanted to cringe at how mild it was. I wanted her again. I had since that night, but I grew despondent in realizing I’d never be able to ask her for what I wanted.
If the woman couldn’t find the courage to tell me what she wanted or what she felt about me, then how could I ever expect her to be favorable to anything kinky at all?
“I would comfort her however she wanted me to,” I replied, watching her with the man on the mat again. She nodded at his instructions, determined to be a good student and do as expected.
She was still getting over her trauma. I had to keep that forefront in my mind because it wasn’t right for me to lust after her and wish for more, to be greedy with the person I wanted to take utmost care of.
“I won’t push her,” I added, glancing at Danicia and catching her studying me.
“You like her,” she surmised, smiling sloppily.
I deadpanned.
“You have to if you want to keep her close like this.” She grinned and patted my back. “Like you’d be lost without her in your life.”
I exhaled a deep whoosh of air, taking a risk to be open and honest. “I would be lost without her. I don’t know how she got under my skin so quickly, but she has.”
“Does she know?”
I frowned. “I don’t know how she can’t.” I made love with her, letting her take charge of it all. I held her hand when she looked unsure. I provided all her necessities, making a mental list of her little quirks and preferences for what she seemed to like to eat, drink, and wear.
“Well, with her limited experience, always busy working and never actually dating a man, maybe she needs you to be direct and explain it all. Less miscommunication and all.”
I had to be direct and explain that I wanted to pound into her tight pussy without mercy? Yeah, right. Not happening.
“Something is happening between us,” I admitted, “but it’s complicated. She’s na?ve and innocent. Inexperienced. And I’ve made it my mission to see to her safety and happiness.”
“But what if her happiness includes this ‘something’ that’s brewing between you?”
I sighed, wishing I knew how to better word it. “She wants to be close to me. I can tell. But it might not be the same as what I feel for her.”
“Because I care about you, a lot, Romeo. And I don’t want to consider being separated from you.”
I’d replayed Tessa’s words in my mind over and over on repeat. It sounded promising, but her affection was likely gratitude, not true interest.
“She cares,” Danicia guessed, nodding like she was an expert at reading people.
“She told me that she cares about me. But she might have said that only for the sake of expressing a form of hero worship.”
Danicia smirked at me.
“If we’d met in any other circumstances, I don’t know if she’d feel the same.”
The tall woman smiled smugly, like she knew something I didn’t. “Then maybe it’s time to ask. And find out.”
I rolled my eyes, turning away to walk out of the gym. I’d had enough of this introspective bullshit. It was hard enough to be in my head all the time, obsessing about Tess and feeling confused on how to make things smoother between us.
I didn’t need to borrow Danicia for any shrink time. Besides, I hadn’t revealed to her another and bigger point that I was hung up on.
I can’t fail her. And I almost had. If Tessa was making progress of adjusting to life after the trauma of being raped, I wasn’t any better off. I constantly took hits of stress and guilt when I thought back to how I’d almost lost her. Seeing those two Giovanni men trying to break in and get to her arrested my heart, and I hated the mere thought of failing her. Of not looking out for her.
I'd failed my Mafia brothers, and I couldn’t let it become a pattern and allow her to be wounded or killed as well.
Explaining any of that would be tricky, and until I knew how to approach the woman, I was determined to watch her from afar and let her come to me.
And finally, she did. When I walked past the hot tub later that night, grabbing my phone from where I’d left it at the rooftop terrace area where I’d sat and had a call with my father, she cleared her throat.
Seated—alone—in the swirling hot bubbles of the tub, she set her sights on me.
Fuck. Just the vision of her warm and wet… My self-imposed restraint would slip fast.
“Want to join me?”
Yes. Fuck yes. Yes a thousand times. “Should I?”
She nodded. “Please?”
I clenched my jaw, holding in a growl of desire. As I gazed into her dark-blue eyes and saw the longing in them, I lost control.
I’d been waiting for her to approach me, and with this invitation to soak with her, she had. I couldn’t be choosy. I had to take the opportunities that arose, no matter how unlikely having a sincere conversation would be with us both lacking clothes and sharing the same space in water.
“Yeah. I’ll join you.” Fuck me. Just saying it felt like a risk. I only had sweats on over my swim trunks, having soaked earlier. I took them off and stepped in, feeling her gaze on me but refusing to make eye contact. If she was looking at me with smoldering desire that she didn’t know how to act on, I’d be a goner. And I had to at least explain my hesitations before being stupid and giving in.
Sinking into the hot water felt good, but I was careful not to lower my arm all the way into the water. The bandages were minimal now, but I knew better than to expose the stitched area to the heated water.
“Romeo?”
Fuck, I love it when you say my name like that. Soft, slightly nervous, but braving it anyway.
“Yeah?” I opened my eyes and looked at her, noticing the signs of apprehension on her sweet face. Blonde strands stuck to her skin, and as she brushed them back, she licked her upper lip, teasing me without being aware.
“Are you…”
I tensed, waiting on the edge of my seat.
She inhaled deeply, making her breasts rise above the surface of the water. “Are you interested in me?”