Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Grant
It’s a full six days before I see Sam again after the dinner at my parents’ house.
We cracked open one of our mystery cases thanks to Hughes’s run-in with the culprit. At least one ongoing issue is case closed.
I haven’t been thinking of Sam, or how she’s doing, or wondering what she would’ve said if she’d finished her sentence about not waiting for me to drive her to dinner. It doesn’t matter. She let me drive her home.
It’s fair to say I haven’t been welcoming or particularly likeable, but the idea that she’s scared of me or even simply uncomfortable around me? It doesn’t make me angry. It doesn’t have me clenching my fists and wanting to pummel whoever did this to her.
It makes me ill.
I want the people in my life, my town, and my county to be safe. I want women to feel free, protected, and valued. And this woman?
Knowing a little of what she’s been through based on seeing that LAPD file that must’ve contained something about domestic abuse, I can’t stand the thought that I’ve let my grumpy, protective ass make her feel anything other than welcome and safe and at home here.
Thinking of her at my family’s dinner table, laughing at Finn’s antics or being so sweet to Lil, and imagining her in any other state, any situation that would distress her or harm her… It damn near guts me.
“Are you going to lunch with Dec?” Brian peeks into my doorway.
“Yep. Meeting him and Finn in ten. Want me to bring you back something?” I click out of a few windows cluttering up my screen from the morning’s work.
“Nah. I’ll walk with you, if that’s alright. You guys hitting Jerry’s?”
When I nod, we plan to meet out front in a few minutes.
I’m glad to have time with him. He’s been taking the jobs farther out, leaving me to stay in town.
I appreciate him and wonder if he ever resents that I’m sheriff since he’s got seniority on the force.
Sheriff Otero had come to me and asked if I was interested in being the interim when he left eighteen months before his term ended.
I’d never even considered it, and I’d only been in town a year.
He pointed out that Angela’s husband was sick and she couldn’t do it, and Brian had some other reason he wasn’t interested. Everyone else, while having more technical law enforcement time, didn’t bring my overall experience.
I probably should’ve said no. There were many other excellent deputies. But that gnawing feeling that hesitating or refusing would further cement my cowardice and ingratitude for what I’d been given had me instantly saying yes.
Without ever actually asking Brian. Angela was on a leave of absence at the time, so her refusal made sense, but I should’ve asked Brian before I snatched up the job.
Then the interim part was up, they held an election, and here I am. Sheriff. Full-on. Completely undeserving based on seniority and law enforcement experience and trying to shove down the imposter syndrome so I can just do the damn job.
In fact, it’s nagged at me a lot lately, especially with all of these unsolved cases, and I end up blurting out as much when we leave the station.
“You ever want to be sheriff?” I am as subtle as an earthquake.
He laughs. “No.”
“Really?”
He tsks. “Why do you sound surprised? What about me gives you any impression I want to deal with the bureaucratic and political job that is sheriff?” He shakes his head. “Wholeheartedly, I do not want your job, Sheriff. I’m happy doing my thing and supporting whoever’s in charge.”
This tracks. It does. I feel it, too, and if my mentor had caught me a few months further down the road, maybe a bit further along in the process of accepting where I was in life and not feeling quite so much like I needed to earn my place in all things, I wouldn’t have said yes.
At the time, it seemed insane to take on more, but there was something in my gut telling me to lean in.
Whispering that maybe this is what I needed to add some meaning to my life here since so much had changed with what I thought I’d be doing.
“Fair enough.”
He pats my back and comes to a stop in front of the pharmacy. “And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re in the seat. You’re good at this, Grant.”
I scowl, feeling anything but like I’m doing a good job lately. “Thanks. I’m trying to figure it out.”
Brian nods like this is a given. He’s guided me through a lot here, and there’s no chance I’d be doing much of anything without him, Angie, and the rest of the deputies.
We part ways and I continue on to Jerry’s. Dec is waiting out front and Finn is jogging up from the opposite direction. He’s literally jogging, and I swear he has an endless well of energy. Sometimes, just looking at him makes me feel ancient, and I feel every one of the seven years I have on him.
“Let’s do this! I am going to destroy some cheese fries.” Finn pumps his fist.
Dec and I share a look.
Finn grins. “Why are we scowling, big brothers one and three? Am I not allowed to show some enthusiasm for the perfection that is Jerry’s cheese fries?
I just did four back-to-back training sessions after farm chores first thing, and I missed my morning snack, so I’m ready.
” He keeps walking and steers himself between us, patting us both on the back with a crisp slap, not stopping to chat. “Seriously, guys, let’s go.”
We seat ourselves in the corner booth in the back that accommodates three comfortably. I peruse the menu, stomach cramping from hunger. Did I eat breakfast?
“Well, hello there, lovely Sam. I didn’t know you work here!”
Finn’s words have my head snapping up to see Sam standing at the end of our booth wearing the light pink old-timey diner dress that is the Jerry’s diner uniform, hair pulled into a high ponytail.
Food forgotten, my stomach does some other obnoxious motion like it’s sliding in her direction, a gravitational force not to be denied.
“I just started a few days ago. You’ll have to bear with me if I’m a little slow.” She grips her pen harder and hovers it above her pad. “What can I get you?”
Finn rattles off his gargantuan order like they’re old friends and she scribbles furiously. Dec talks slower, gentler, and it’s like she’s his patient, not his waitress. He is highly empathetic and intuitive, so I’m not surprised he clocked the way Sam is cagey, if not outright anxious at times.
“And you, Grant?”
Our eyes meet and I swear I’ve never seen eyes like that. Brown, but there’s green and gray swirled in. The light’s hitting just right so I can see the variations, and I’m lost for a second.
“The hypoglycemia is real.” Finn taps the table in front of me. “Order your food, Sheriff.”
I snap out of it, ordering a burger and fries. I should probably get something else, but it sounds so good, and for some reason, I can’t think of anything else on the menu, anyway.
“Great. It’ll be out in a few. Thanks, gentlemen.” She smiles and her gaze flicks back to mine before she turns away, arms full of menus.
A beat of silence passes, and I spend it gulping water, eyes focused out the window toward the mountain.
“So… how’s it going with Sam as your tenant?”
Finn’s voice is full of suggestion. I can’t tell what he’s suggesting, but it’s undeniably something.
“Don’t see her much.”
Dec is silent next to me, and Finn raises one thick brow. “Ya sure did see her just now. What color are her eyes?”
“Brown, but more. Or maybe hazel with—” My mouth snaps shut.
Dec and Finn exchange another meaningful look. I force myself not to roll my eyes, but annoyance roots deep.
“So who’s going to dinner tomorrow?” Dec cuts Finn off before he can say anything else, likely saving me from another smartass comment.
“You know I’ll be there. Free food.” Finn shrugs like it’s that simple. Like he’s twenty and not a thirty-year-old man still eager to take whatever his parents will shell out.
“The girls and I will be there, as always.” It’s a standing dinner, but not everyone makes it every week. Eirinn and Davis have been hit or miss lately, and even May has been sporadic.
“Me, too.”
Dec smooths the edge of the white paper napkin his water sits on, adjusting the glass so it sits perfectly centered on the sheet.
He’s got something going on in that big brain of his, but it’ll be a while before he formulates it into words.
Asking won’t do any good. He’s locked up tighter than he was before he was in the Army or even during his service.
Since he got back six months ago, he’s eased up a little but he still strikes me as particularly uptight.
“Here we go, guys.” Sam delivers our order and slays me with a smile when we all say how good everything looks. “Did I get everything right? If not, just let me know and I’ll fix it.”
“Looks perfect.” I don’t know why my heart is thudding around in my chest, but it is, doubling as her smile widens.
“Can I put in an order to take with me when we go?” Dec asks before she leaves.
“Of course.” Pen at the ready, she nods.
Her lashes are long and dark. She has freckles along the bridge of her nose, her cheeks have a slight flush to them, and even her nose is perfect.
“This for Evie?” Her voice snaps me out of it, or maybe it’s Finn kicking me in the shin like we’re kids.
Dec answers, clearing his throat. “Yes. I told her I’d bring her lunch.”
No other explanation, but that whole situation has me wondering if Evie’s what he’s overthinking over there.
“That’s so kind of you. She’ll love it.”
“Am I going to see you at family dinner tomorrow, Sam?” Finn waggles his stupid eyebrows like he’s charming.
Idiot.
She huffs a small laugh. “Sadly, no. Evie and I are actually having a little girls’ night.”
“Aw, our loss. But you ladies have fun. And feel free to call me if you guys need your hair braided or a massage or—ow!”
To my utter delight, it’s Dec who kicks Finn and shuts him up. Sam excuses herself with a chuckle and goes to put in Evie’s order, and then Finn and I turn our attention on Dec.
He just frowns. “Don’t say a word. She’s a single mom and she’s had a rough few days. I wanted to do something nice.”
“Evie’s a good woman. She deserves anything you can give her,” I affirm.
Finn snorts. “I’m sure he’d love to give her—”
I smack him upside the head before he’s finished the thought. “Don’t be crass.”
Dec is stone-faced. “She’s my employee and I respect her. I care about her, as I do all my employees.”
And with that, the case is closed. We change the subject to Finn’s personal training business and his angst over having another few weeks before the adult soccer league opens for spring.
Then he updates us on every tiny detail about the horses, including Thistle’s imminent need for a visit from the girls, which she reportedly wouldn’t stop talking to him about this morning.
Weirdo.
But I can’t stop thinking about the simple statement Dec made. It shouldn’t hit me so hard, but him saying he wants to do something nice for Evie makes me realize I’ve been a right ass to Sam.
What I should be doing is making her life easier.
I should be trying to help her feel safe and at home. I should be helping her. I saw the police report for abuse even if I didn’t open it—I have at least a small insight to what she’s dealt with. She’s here in Juniper View, and she’s not passing through. She’s digging in.
My suspicion of her was at best misplaced and at worst, unkind.
The reality is I’ve done what I so often do—I’ve presumed guilt rather than innocence with her. I’ve launched into protective mode instead of reaching out and being someone who’s in a position to help her.
I can’t offer her much, but I can be kind. So, I resolve to do just that from now on.