Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Grant
Brian saunters in and sets a cup of coffee down in front of me.
My side eye has him holding up his hands before I even speak.
“I know, I know. I would never dare to get coffee anywhere other than Corner Coffee, but it was closed.”
My gaze narrows. “Closed? May never closes this time of day.” Saturdays are her bread and butter. Normally, I’d grab a coffee after soccer, but I’m off. Finn was MIA, I’ve had too many deep thoughts about life for one morning, and burying my face in some work felt like the best option.
He shrugs. “Well, there was a little sign with a clock on it that said We’ll be back! and said noon. So, I had to go over to The Pizza Shop, and what did I hear but the old vets gossiping about how the ‘pretty new waitress’ was out with your little brother earlier.”
I blink. “Dec?”
I just saw him. He would’ve mentioned seeing her, wouldn’t he?
He seems pleased with this response. “Nah, Finn, of course. He is a charmer, that’s for sure.”
My attention shifts back to the computer in front of me and I continue the slow work on a report I need to present to the county commission at the end of the quarter.
Did Finn skip soccer practice for a date with Sam? That doesn’t make sense. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t miss soccer for a date, for one, and he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t date Sam.
Would he?
“Oh, so you’re just that uninterested in the whole thing, huh?” Brian leans back, smirking like an ass.
“Why would I be interested in who my brother dates?” Something in me hardens over the small ache in my chest. I don’t have time for this shit.
“Well, he’s your brother. But I thought you might be more interested in who your gorgeous new tenant who’s sweet with your girls and I’m pretty sure you have a crush on dates.”
My gaze cuts to him. “Shut it.”
He shrugs again. “I mean, it’s not me saying they’re dating. It’s the gents. And they have been known to spread gossip that isn’t true. You could always ask her.”
He waits a beat like he thinks I’ll respond, then mutters something about me being a stubborn ass and pats the desk twice before leaving.
He doesn’t leave me in peace, though, because he peeks his head around the doorframe and says, “Apparently, they were hugging at May’s this morning.”
He disappears again before I can say anything, which I won’t do even if I know he wants a response.
What am I supposed to do with that?
Do I feel mildly gutted that Sam was out with Finn? Yes. Admittedly, yes. I’ve been getting stupid ideas lodged in my thick skull despite all signs pointing to her being pretty damn resistant to anything.
But maybe it’s just anything with me.
I get it. She’s not the first woman to look at my situation and lose interest. How could I expect her to want to sign up for dating a man with two little girls when a woman I was meant to get engaged to opted out right after everything happened?
Granted, that’s not being fair to Michelle. I didn’t give our relationship its due and then expected her to jump aboard a sinking ship. She was smart, and not unfeeling, to get out of it. Still, I don’t expect anyone else to see the shipwreck and want to buddy up.
I don’t. I learned my lesson. Hence why I haven’t done more than step out on an obligatory blind date once or twice—and by “obligatory,” I mean I was forced by my mother in one instance and my sister in another—and it went no further.
The fact that I feel a little something for Sam, that I’m drawn to her despite where we started out… it doesn’t matter. Inadmissible here.
It must be all down to seeing everyone prancing off with their perfect partners this morning after practice. It’s information overload, the power of suggestion, and my own weak-willed mindset tripping me up here.
And if Sam has to choose someone else right in front of my face, it might as well be Finn. He might drive me up the wall with his antics, but he’s a good man at heart. He’s got all of that sunny disposition I don’t, which has to appeal to the woman.
“This is not a problem.” The words come out quietly with the forced determination I don’t yet feel, but will eventually.
I choose what creates a barrier in my life, what I can and can’t get over. Right now, I need to focus on the handful of cases we haven’t wrapped up in way too long, and I need to finish this presentation prep.
So I do. I put my head down and focus on work until Brian knocks on my door and takes a pointed look at his watch. It’s five and I promised the girls I’d only be here for a few hours after soccer.
Another ball I’m dropping, and it kills me to be reminded of it.
But I’m trying, and my folks took Lily and Poppy for the afternoon.
By the time I get to their house, it’s fifteen after and they’re all snuggled into the overstuffed couch in the living room to watch a movie.
A giant bowl of popcorn sits on Lily’s lap and Poppy’s shoving a handful in her mouth, then burrowing under a blanket and resting her head on my mom’s shoulder.
My heart clutches. This is why I came back. This is what I never could’ve given them if I’d stayed active duty and tried to make that lifestyle work.
I may have failed them initially—I may have absolutely bombed the biggest test of my life when they were placed in my arms the night their parents died and everything in me said I can’t do this, but I got back on track, didn’t I?
And I came home to the family I’d neglected. So now they had Pops and Lily, and I could be here for them all.
"Welcome to stay, or you can come back and get them after dinner.”
My dad’s gaze passes over me and I cringe at what he’s seeing.
I neglected to shave this morning before I went to soccer, and the clothes I changed into after showering were wrinkled after sitting in the dryer overnight. I haven’t been sleeping well, and I haven’t been doing the things I know I need to in order to maintain my well-being.
“You alright, son?”
It’s the gentle tone that has me feeling young and small and completely ill-prepared to deal with my own life.
“I’m alright.”
He keeps me pinned in place with his perusal for another moment, then nods. “Go do something for yourself and come back. We’ll be fine right here.”
I take the gift he’s giving me and try to decide what I’ll do with the time.
There’s a long list of things I need to do at the house I’ve ignored all weekend.
I could get a jump on the week’s meals and do some prep.
There’s always laundry to do. Or maybe I should go for a run now that the roads are clear of this weekend’s snow.
Right as I reach my truck, I see Finn’s car easing down the long driveway.
Shit. I don’t want to talk to him and hear about Sam. I definitely don’t want to hear him pretend he’s sorry he missed soccer in order to do it. I don’t have it in me right now. But I rally, because he parks and comes straight to me.
“Hey, glad I caught you. I need to talk to you.”
Instead of the shiny, elated Finn I expected to see, I’m confronted with a man who appears genuinely burdened. It’s completely different from what I expected to see him radiating.
Worry grips me instantly, all thoughts of exhaustion vanishing.
“What’s wrong?”
His eyes shift around, settling on the barn in the west pasture. He swallows hard, mouth turned down in a very un-Finn-like frown, and then he speaks without looking at me. “I’m afraid something’s going on with Sam.”
My eyes narrow. “Explain.”
He turns back to me. “We were chatting at May’s earlier, just talking, and she took a call. As soon as the person started talking, she froze. And I don’t mean like a quick, startled thing. I mean she damn near turned to stone in front of me.”
My pulse notches up. “What did she say? Could you hear the caller?”
“After she answered, she said hello twice, like the person didn’t start talking right away and asked, ‘Who is this,’ then she didn’t say anything.
All I could hear was that someone was talking, definitely a man, but I couldn’t make out specifics.
” He shakes his head, genuinely disturbed.
“When she hung up, it took a bit to get her to snap out of it. Like, she couldn’t remember to breathe kind of deal. ”
Bad news. Imagining her so affected has my focus narrowing.
“What did she say? Who was it?” I’m running a mental checklist of what I know about her, anyone who might’ve done this, but I don’t know nearly enough.
“That’s just it. She hardly said anything. Didn’t explain it. She blew it off like yeah, it was a surprise, but nothing huge, she was just shocked by it.” His head droops before he looks at me again. “Then she begged me not to tell anyone, and I got the feeling she particularly meant you.”
My teeth grind together but I ignore the useless pang of hurt that strikes, too.
“You did the right thing, Finn. I can’t help her if I don’t know what’s going on.
” I don’t want to say more, but he seems so deeply troubled by this, I make myself.
“I know you guys are new, so I’m sure this feels scary, but you did the right thing. ”
He squints. “We’re new?”
“Yeah. The dating. Brian heard it from the gents. Which is, you know—”
“I’m not dating Sam, idiot. If anyone’s going to date her, it’s obviously you, but I’m pretty sure that’s not happening until you use your sheriff superpowers and help her with whatever’s going on.”
It’s obviously you.
An eruption of relief and elation bursts through me so fast I can hardly make sense of it, and instead of maintaining any kind of composure, I blurt, “But you missed soccer.”
He grimaces. “I did. But I couldn’t leave her. Didn’t want to make a whole thing of it, so I just hung out with her, bought her lunch, tried to distract her a bit.”
I shouldn’t feel relief and a jolt of pure happiness inject into my veins, but there it is, bubbling through me like I’ve taken off a flak vest after days on patrol. A huge weight lifted.
At the same time, frustration takes a swing at me. Why did she not want me, specifically, to know, when I’m probably the person who can actually help her?
He snickers like he can read my every thought.
“Why don’t you stop rejoicing in the fact that I didn’t make a move on your woman and go figure out what’s going on with her?” He starts walking, then tosses over his shoulder, “I’m hanging for the movie and dinner, so I’ll bring the girls home if you want.”
I accept the offer as I bolt to my car.
No need to figure out what I’m going to do with this time—it’s decided.