Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
Sam
There are several exclamations from Finn and May suggesting that they knew it, or they should get credit for bringing me and Grant together.
“Thanks, Lily.” Grant gives her a look both amused and a little disgruntled, but hugs her to him, then sends her back to her seat to finish eating.
Immediately after, he laces our fingers together and tugs on mine. “We’ll be right back.”
He leads me away from the table, more than one comment about us going to make out on the porch following us as he pulls me outside. We walk to the far end and around a corner to a part of the property I haven’t seen on the outside.
He drops my hand and paces away to the end of the porch along this side of the house, running a hand through his hair. When he turns back toward me, he exhales.
“I’m sorry.”
I can’t stay away from him, nor can I stand to see him upset by something I’m deeply not upset by.
“What on earth could you be sorry for? That your precious daughter is excited for you? For us?” I wrap my arms around his neck, gazing up into his steady eyes.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured by anything. Ever. And I worry that Lil just broke something open you might’ve wanted to stay shut away a while longer.”
My smile is unmanageable. “That we had a sleepover?”
He huffs and shakes his head. “Well, yeah, there’s that, though it’s not like my parents didn’t figure that one out.” His gaze narrows, almost like he’s bracing. “More the other thing.”
That full-to-bursting sensation is back, and there’s no chance I’ll stay calm, but I try anyway. “The ‘they’re in love’ thing?”
He nods, that gaze searing into me. “Yes. That.”
For as much baggage as I’ve hauled along with me from my past, Grant has some, too.
It’s all neatly packed and stored away in a closet somewhere in his beautiful home and he doesn’t talk about it, but it’s there.
And I’m seeing it now. He is at once courageous and timid, desperate, and calm. I have never loved him more.
“I’m only wondering if it’s true for you.” I rise to my toes and press the next words into his lips. “Because it is for me.”
There is no hesitation when he closes the distance between us, a rough groan from either my words or our kiss, or maybe both. I take it all, every plying pass of his mouth, every flick of his tongue, every slide of his hands tracing my body.
We stumble back and he pulls one hand away just in time to brace against the side of the house, saving me from crashing against it.
“Should we—”
He’s not interested in talking, and I bounce back into the moment easily, urging him closer, hooking a leg over his hip when he guides it up with a hand on my thigh. The kiss practically thunders between us, lighting up every inch of my skin and mind with equal measures of love and desire.
The fever between us ebbs, and he rests his forehead against mine for a moment, both of us just breathing.
When he eases away, the expression on his handsome face grabs me by the throat.
“I love you, Sam. I’ve wanted to tell you but didn’t want to rush you.
Didn’t want you to feel cornered or anything like you might’ve in the past. Didn’t want to…
” He laughs, a low, quick chuckle that sounds like a realization.
“And selfishly, I didn’t say it in case it might push you away.
I guess I thought if I didn’t make you choose, you wouldn’t have a reason to end things. ”
With one hand pressed against his thrumming heart, I savor the feel of his stubble against my palm. “I’m glad Lily forced the issue, then. One more reason to love her.”
“I love you,” he whispers, inching closer.
“I love you, too, Grant. Thank you for telling me.”
There is so much more I need to thank him for, but a raucous round of laughter filters out from the front door, and Grant links our fingers again.
“Ready to face them down?”
I grin. “As I’ll ever be.”
The next day, work passes in a blink.
Last night, I tucked the girls into bed with Grant after they begged me to join them.
I might’ve felt like an invader on their special time, but after Lily’s declaration and our conversation, it didn’t feel so far outside of what might fit.
I loved the cuddling and reading together, the soft, thoughtful prayer Lily shared, and the long list of stuffed animals Poppy rattled off thanking God for.
I walked home feeling not just grateful but blessed to know them—honored to be loved by Grant and his daughters.
I stood outside and inhaled the cool spring air and gazed up at the stars I could never see back in LA, absolutely joy-filled at the hope and anticipation of not only what might be ahead, but the very day I’d just lived.
Mr. Bingley’s demanding yowl interrupts my moment, and I grin just thinking about his body no doubt shoved up against the sliver of open window in the living room. He sounds like he’s got a bullhorn to his grinning little mouth, which must mean it’s time for his dinner.
These small mundanities feel good, too. It all fits, this new life, and I’m borderline choked up over it.
So this morning, work feels joyful, too.
I genuinely like working at the diner, exhausting though it usually is.
I love seeing returning customers and lately, now that the mountains are thawing out and people are beginning to visit for spring hiking, occasionally a tourist excited to be here for the first time.
I have homework in my new class—quite a bit of reading, and I’ll have a test in a week or two, so I’d like to get a jump on that. Grant and the girls are busy, so I promised myself I’d buckle down and make a dent in my schoolwork so I’m free to join them whenever they’re ready for me.
The midday sky has darkened now that my shift has ended, so when I emerge from the diner, hair smelling like fried food and lower back and feet aching, it’s nothing like the cheery spring sun I expected.
That said, it feels like it might rain. I’ve experienced a few rain showers here, and even snow flurries the first month or so, but when a bolt of lightning shoots across the sky, I pick up my pace toward Corner Coffee.
The other promise I made this morning was that I would treat myself to one of May’s specials before I head home so I’m not tempted to take a nap instead of conquering the assigned reading.
I feel a raindrop or two and shuffle inside, hoping it won’t be a deluge by the time I get my coffee and make it to my car.
Even then, I don’t mind. It already smells glorious and fresh out there, and it gives me the perfect excuse to pull on sweatpants and snuggle into my couch for the rest of the day—after I shower off the diner, of course.
“There’s my girl! What are we having? What’s happening? When will you be my sister-in-law?” May swirls around, steaming milk and watching me when I stumble as I absorb her words. “Oh, is it too soon to be that honest? Fine, uh… Hey Sam, cool to see you, what is up and happening with you?”
She plunks an elbow onto the counter, bending unnaturally and blinking those bright blue eyes up at me.
A laugh tumbles out of me. “Why does this version of you sound like a short-circuiting robot?”
She scowls and whips the rag sitting next to her at me. It’s such a sisterly gesture, my insides squeeze.
“All I’m saying is, I’m happy you’re dating my big, responsible with a capital R, brother. I think you’re great and great together, and I hope it works out, and you have babies and many happy years together.”
By the end of her speech, my eyes are wide.
It’s not that I’m not absolutely interested in a future with Grant. It just feels too bold to proclaim it like this, flinging out the words like they aren’t huge, life-altering wishes.
May’s cheeks pinken a touch and her wild, excited energy softens. “I mean it. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you. I’m happy for me, too.” My smile, as usual when I think of Grant, is a little too big for my face.
“And just for that, it’s on the house.” She slides a large, lidded coffee over to me. “Honeycomb latte with two percent.”
“You’re an angel. Thank you. Though I’m happy to pay you—I feel like I rarely actually buy coffee here.” I inhale the delicious, sweet scent as she beams.
“Family discount.” She wiggles her brows.
My face burns with an instant blush. “Okay, I’m leaving, and I’m taking my free coffee.”
She winks. “Yeah, you are!”
I chuckle under my breath, speedwalking to my car and sliding into the driver’s seat right as the rain begins in earnest. Maybe it’s because I’ve spent all my life in drought-riddled California only to move to another drought-plagued state that I find the rain thrilling and a touch daunting.
It’s coming down hard enough, I don’t sip my latte or take my eyes from the road for a second.
I drive slower than normal, eyes wide, praying my three old tires hold out as well as my new one does.
Fifteen minutes after leaving, I arrive home. Home. I love my little apartment, and I love being so close to Grant and the girls. I even love that we’re a five-minute drive or a fifteen-minute walk to the Ryan farmhouse.
I hustle to the building entrance, jog up the stairs keeping my precious drink outstretched to save it from turbulence, and push open my front door.
It’s only after I close it behind me I realize neither door was locked.
“Hey there, beautiful.”
My stomach drops to my toes, and so does the latte. A man saunters toward me from his place on my couch—my couch—and it’s no man I want to see.
I step back, hand searching the door for the handle, ready to run, and say the name I am so deeply tired of dealing with.
“Andrew.”