Chapter 34
34
Lachlan
I’m almost certain that Key and I run the entire way across the property—her hand gripped tightly within mine as she follows after me, never asking to slow. It feels almost like flying, running under the stars with her, the weight I’ve carried for so long seeming to dissipate into the night air. My legs burn and my heart pounds as we cross the fields and the sloping terrain to press on toward the loch, and by the time the water comes into view, glittering under the moonlight, it feels almost like my chest might burst with the force of the heavy thump thump rattling away inside it.
I can hear her panting breath beside me, but when I turn to look at her, her eyes are bright and her face is lit up with a radiating joy—her lips curving in a smile as if everything is already as it should be, as if she has no doubt that everything will be just fine. I wish I could say I had her confidence.
My steps to the shore are slower then, cautious even, my eyes searching the water for signs of movement, signs of him . I know that the chances of him being here in the cove are slim whether he’s changed or not—but Key squeezes my hand when she catches me frowning, looking up at me with an encouraging expression.
“It worked,” she tells me.
I squeeze her hand back. “How do you know?”
“I can feel it,” she says confidently.
I want to share in her surety; I’ve already seen her do so many amazing things, after all, but a lifetime of disappointment can’t be forgotten in only a moment. It will take time even for me to reconcile that, as far as it seems, the worst is behind me. That I can finally start moving forward .
The rolling water stirs in the slight breeze as it sways over the surface of the loch, ever still, ever silent. It feels almost like a bad omen, how quiet it is. Like an answer to a question I’m too afraid to ask.
“He could be anywhere,” Key says. “Could have changed anywhere. It could take time to find him.”
“I know,” I answer. “Maybe we should have gotten the Rover.”
“There’s still time. We could go back for it and start searching. We have all night.”
My voice sounds too small for me when I say, “What if he’s not out there?”
“He will be,” she assures me.
I shake my head, frowning down at her. “But what if he isn’t?”
“Then we’ll deal with it,” she says. “If there was a solution for you, then there is a solution for him. And we’ll find it. Together. ”
“I can’t ask any more from you.”
“You don’t have to,” she tells me, reaching out to cup my cheek. “You never have to ask me for help. I’ll always be here to give it.”
My eyes sting as I draw in a shaky breath, bending slightly so that I can rest my forehead against hers. Once again I think to myself that it’s possible I don’t deserve her. That it feels almost unreal that she would not only stumble into my life, but want to be a part of it. For as long as I live, no matter what happens after this moment, I will always be grateful for it.
“Come on,” she says. “Let’s go get the Rover, and then we can—”
“Oi! Don’t s’pose I could ask for a wee bit of help, if you’d be so kind?”
My limbs freeze, my brain stuttering at the sound of his voice. For a moment, it feels like maybe I imagine it, like maybe it was only me who heard it, but when Key pulls back, a wide smile on her face—I know that isn’t the case.
We both turn to take in an approaching figure half stumbling down the shore, his legs shaky. Almost as if he isn’t used to using them. At first, I can’t move. I stare at the man getting closer and closer, frozen in place as my mouth parts and my eyes round. Words fail me, and I all but forget how to breathe, and it is only Keyanna’s touch that brings me back to the moment, that makes me remember how to use my feet.
I take a cautious step, taking in the longer hair, the same barreled chest, the smile that sometimes haunts my dreams. “Da?”
He slows only a few paces away, cocking his head as he looks me up and down, his brow knitting. I see the moment it clicks for him, his breath catching as his eyes go wide.
“It can’t be…”
I take another step, and then another, and then suddenly, he’s right there. Standing before me as if he never left. Even in the moonlight I can see the gray in his hair now, can see wrinkles around his eyes and mouth, but underneath that—he’s the same man who walked into the loch all those years ago and never came out.
“It’s me,” I choke out. “It’s Lachlan.”
His hands reach out as he clasps my shoulders, still appraising me as if he’ll be able to make sense of it. The last time he saw me, I was still a wean, after all. I can’t imagine the shock he must be feeling to come out and see me as a man.
He pulls me against his chest suddenly, his arms coming around my shoulders to hold me tight. I feel years melting off me in his embrace, and again my eyes sting traitorously as I return it, holding him tightly in the way I’ve wanted to for so many years. I close my eyes to fight against the sudden sting of tears as I revel in the moment; for so long I thought I would never have this, that it just wasn’t in the cards for us, but he’s here now. He’s here .
“Michty me,” he murmurs, pulling away to look at me again. “Look at you. How…” His eyes snap up to meet mine. “How long has it been?”
I feel an ache in my chest, and I wish I didn’t have to give him this news, preparing myself for what it might do to him. “It’s been twenty-six years.”
“Twenty-six…” His eyes drop to our feet, his lips moving wordlessly as he processes that information. “It feels like I just saw you yesterday.”
“I’m sorry,” I manage. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”
My da shakes his head. “None of that. You’re here. That’s what matters. Although you’ll have to tell me how you worked this out, because I sure couldn’t make heads or tails of it.”
“Well…” I glance behind me. “It wasn’t really me, if I’m being honest.”
My dad leans to peer behind me, and I turn in place as Key gives him a tiny wave. “Hello,” she says. “It’s nice to meet you.”
I notice she’s very carefully averting her gaze, and that’s when it dawns on me.
My da is completely naked.
I shrug out of my jacket, holding it out to him as he blusters a bit, wrapping it around his waist.
“Thought I felt a chill,” he chuckles.
I shiver in the cold air without my jacket, realizing that my usual overly warm body temperature is no more—another sign of the curse finally being over.
“Not exactly how I pictured you two meeting for the first time,” I say back, laughing softly.
“This wee thing broke our curse?” My da sounds awestruck, brushing past me to drink in the sight of her. “You must be something special, lass.”
“I don’t know about that—”
“She is,” I interrupt her. “She’s very special.”
My da beams. “What’s your name, hen?”
“My name is…” She flicks her gaze to mine, and I nod in encouragement. “My name is Keyanna,” she tells him. “Keyanna MacKay.”
He rears back a bit, his head swiveling so that he can lock eyes with me as confusion floods his features. “MacKay?”
“Aye,” I tell him. “The very same.”
“A daughter of MacKay,” my da whispers. He turns back to Key. “Then that would make you…”
“Duncan’s daughter,” she finishes.
My da’s eyes move over her face, no doubt seeing the truth of it, his throat bobbing with a swallow as he nods heavily. “Aye, you have the look of him.”
“I’m very sorry,” she tells him. “For everything you went through.”
“He left for you,” my da says, still looking a bit dazed. “Didn’t he?”
Key stiffens a bit, but nods back at him. “Yes, I think so.”
“Och.” Da’s voice sounds thick as he nods again, sniffling a bit. “S’pose that would do it.”
“I don’t think he ever wanted to abandon you,” she says quietly. “If it weren’t for me—”
“No,” I cut in. “None of that. I won’t have you shouldering any blame.”
My da looks between the two of us curiously, giving his attention back to Key. “I’d have done the same, lass. We parents…we would do anything for our children, aye?” He pats her shoulder. “And your da? Is he here with you?”
Key averts her gaze. “He passed away back in the spring.”
“I see,” my da answers, his arm circling around her shoulder as he gives it an encouraging squeeze. “He was…a good man. It seems he raised a fine daughter.” He nods, sniffling again. “I thank you, lass. For everything.”
“I was happy to help,” she says.
“And your mum…?” my da asks me. “Is she…?”
“She’s alive,” I tell him. “But she’s…moved away. She didn’t take it well when you left.”
His face crumples, but he nods through it. “Aye. I suppose that’ll be another wrong to right.” He glances down at my jacket haphazardly wrapped around his waist. “Perhaps after I find some clothes.”
Keyanna laughs beside me, and I beam down at her, feeling so full in this moment.
I don’t say any more about my mum; I have no idea how she would handle this news, but I know that tonight isn’t the night to discuss it. Not when I just got him back. There will be plenty of time after this to figure everything out. That’s what Key has given us. Time .
I look at her now—her wild curls fluttering in the breeze, the emerald of her eyes harder to make out in the moonlight, but still they appear to shine under the stars, her lips curling subtly as I keep my gaze fixed on her, unable to look away. It hits me with full force just how much she’s given me; I have no idea how I can ever repay her. I will never know how to give her back even a fraction of all she’s handed over to me, for no other reason than she’s just that sort. As if she’s some sort of angel personified, sent to me when I needed her most.
I take a step closer and grab her hand, holding it in mine as my face splits into a wide grin, one that she returns instantly. If it weren’t for my da standing a few short feet away, I’d be pulling her into my arms, kissing her senseless if only to try to express some tiny part of what I’m feeling. Instead, I tug her into my side, pressing a kiss to her hair and breathing in the soft scent of her, letting the knowledge that I will be able to whenever I like in the years to come wash over me.
“Oi, what’s this?” I hear my da’s soft chuckle, and when I look at him, his arms are crossed over his chest as he eyes the pair of us. “It seems you have a lot to tell me, aye?”
Key is still smiling when I look down at her, and I can feel the weight of it mirrored in my own face, my cheeks almost hurting with the force of it. I can’t remember ever smiling like this before I met her. My life has been a never-ending parade of disappointment, of fear, of uncertainty—but there is nothing uncertain about the way I feel when I look at her.
There will always be things in this world that remain unknown to me, but one thing I can know for sure is the way I feel about her. And I know that whenever I’m unable to find my way, she’ll be there with an outstretched hand, ready to show me.
That, I think, is a love most people search for—and yet hers came right to my door.
“Aye,” I finally manage to answer, my voice thick now as well. I smile a wee bit wider, unable to tear my gaze away from this woman who gave me everything without ever needing to be asked, and I feel, for the first time, that everything really will be all right. As long as she’s with me. “Aye, we really do.”