Kai
Trudging my way to school, head filled with thoughts of last night, I had just stepped in the building when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out, I turn on the screen and find a message from Dax waiting.
Khayos: No matter what happens today, just know, soon. I’ll see you soon and I have something I need to tell you when I do. Til then I need you to stay safe, Kitten. Stay safe.
‘What could he possibly have to tell me and why didn’t he just tell me yesterday?’ I think as I make a beeline for the bathroom.
Standing at the sink, I stare at my reflection in the mirror, watching my finger tips ghost across my lips as if I could still feel him on them. ‘I shouldn’t be here, I should be there,’ I think, gripping the sink to stop myself from punching the mirror.
‘Fuck him and what he wants me to do…oh, who am I kidding? I’ll do what he’s asked. Okay, pull it together, Sullivan. You can do this,’ I think, trying to psych myself up for the coming months without Dax as my phone buzzes. Pulling my phone from my pocket I find a text from Mel.
The picture that fills my screen when I open the message causes me to go weak in the knees.
She sent me arm porn to hold me over for the next few months.
The smirk he’s giving her has me groaning internally, ‘Fuck I’m gonna miss him,’ I think.
Shaking my head, I remind myself once again, ‘It’s just a couple months, you can do this. ’
I slip my phone back in my pocket and turn on the water. After splashing my face with cold water, I leave the bathroom, needing to stop by my locker before I head to class. Dani is waiting next to my locker as I reach her, “I don’t need a sitter.” I mutter, fumbling with the lock.
Dani looks at me with mock hurt, “Can’t I just be here for purely selfish reasons? Can’t it be that Mel isn’t here and I don’t wanna walk to class by myself?”
Rolling my eyes at her obviousness, I drape an arm over her shoulders as we turn towards homeroom, “Where’s Jason?”
It was her turn to sigh, “Broke up again.”
I squeeze her a little closer, “Well, then, I guess we can be miserable bitches together.”
Dani giggles, “Deal!” she says as we enter the classroom and take our seats.
Dani had taken my mind off my misery and for a moment I’m okay. That lasts about a minute before I start to spiral. I look around feeling out of place, my thoughts racing.
I can hear the clock ticking, loudly, like it’s counting down the coming months slowly just to torture me.
I hear someone annoyingly clicking a pen next to me.
‘Fuckin’ quit it!’ I think, bouncing my leg with nervous energy, screaming in my mind, begging my body to ‘just stop!’ Cracking my knuckles and wiping the sweat off my hands. ‘Why are my palms sweaty?’
Dani looks over at me, trying to catch my attention. When she can’t catch my darting eyes, she reaches across the aisle, places her hand on my knee and squeezes. It grounds me and I can feel my breathing slow and I mouth a “thank you” to her.
A few minutes go by, the phantom pressure of her hand keeps me from spiraling again, and I think I can make it through the day before I realize that I’m on my own for the rest of my classes. ‘Great, she’s not in the next three classes, and Melody is gone today. I’m fucked.’
When the bell rings, releasing us from our first class, I’m the first one out of the room. I dart to the bathroom, breathing uneven, as I sling the door open and pull my phone out. Turning on my phone screen, I check for any updates, but find nothing.
My face falls, ‘They say no news is good news, but that’s probably not the case for me,’ I think, switching to the text thread with Seb. Firing off a text, ‘I gotta get outta here,’ I think as I catch my eyes in the mirror.
Seb texts me to meet him at the bleachers in twenty.
He never responds that fast. My thoughts start racing again, ‘maybe Mel already reached out to him, maybe she told him something and he was waiting for me to say something. Does he know something I don’t?
’ I think, before realizing that, ‘no she would have told me too, she wouldn’t have only told Seb. ’
∞∞∞
I hang around the bathroom for a few minutes, avoiding the crowded hallways for as long as possible. Leaving the bathroom, I run into Dani, “Hey, I’m headin’ out. Seb’s gonna take me home. If I stay here I’m gonna explode,” I tell her.
Looking me over, Dani glanced around before pulling me into the girls bathroom, “I figured you wouldn’t stay the whole day. I’m surprised you showed up at all, Kai. You looked bad before homeroom.”
I smirk, “Gee, thanks, Sunshine. That’s just what I needed to hear.”
Pulling me into a tight hug, she murmurs, “Go on, get outta here. We’ll catch up this weekend, I’ll bring the mint chip?”
I nod, “I’d like that. A van sleepover with Mel and you is just what I need.”
She winks at me, pushing me out of the bathroom. With a slight smile, I head out to meet Seb. True to his word he’s waiting in the office for me.
∞∞∞
When we get outside, he looks me over, taking in my disheveled appearance before asking, “Heard anything?”
I let out a long breath, “Fuck, no. I was gonna ask you the same thing.” I say as we climb into the car.
We drive in silence, my mind running through every possible scenario while I stare blankly out the window. Seb pulls into the driveway, barely getting the car into park before I open the door and bolt for the van and the hoodie I stole from Maddox.
Picking up the stolen hoodie, I bring it to my nose, inhaling deeply, taking in every bit of the scent that I love so much.
Curling into a ball in the van, I finally give in, letting the tears I’ve been fighting all day fall.
I must have cried myself to sleep, because a while later, the sun feels too bright to my tear-reddened eyes when my phone going off startles me.
Snatching my phone up, I read the text and my stomach drops. ‘Mel’s on her way, with coffee?? Oh, this can’t be good.’
Melody
As I walk up the driveway balancing the tray of coffees and the bag of chocolate croissants I see Seb waiting on the porch. Seeing him, I start to sniffle again, my vision blurring as my eyes fill with tears.
I feel him take the tray and the bag, hearing him sit them somewhere before I feel his arms wrap around me. He pulls me in so tight that I can smell the tobacco and the whiskey on him. I nuzzle into his chest. Then the guilt hits and I try to pull back, but he just holds on tighter.
“I know you need to get to him, but gimme a minute. You can’t go in there like this, I had to check him out of school, he’s not doin’ so great,” he tells me. I shake my head against his chest, relaxing into his hold, he’s right of course, I need to pull myself together.
“You wanna tell me what happened so I know what’s gonna happen in that van?” Seb asked gently, “If it was just the couple of months we all thought it would be, you wouldn’t be this upset and wouldn’ta sprung for all this.”
I hate how well he knows me, but damn it he does. With my face buried in his chest I mutter, “18 months,” for the first time.
Seb pulls away, “Repeat that?”
Taking a deep breath, I say it out loud, “They gave him 18 months. Maddox, Mack and the creepy lawyer went into a room before court. I don’t know what happened in there. Then, we went into the courtroom, and in a matter of minutes they ripped him away from us for 18 months.”
Seb looked concerned, “What happened to just a few months?”
I shrug, “I don't know, I wasn’t allowed in the room, so I don’t know what was talked about. All I know is I have to crawl into that van and tell Kai. How do I do that?” I ask, starting to spin out as it sinks in.
Seb catches me as my knees give out, grabbing my chin he turns my face to look at him.
He looks me over for a moment before his lips crash onto mine, arms holding me up.
‘Okay, I got this,’ I think, breaking the kiss and placing my hand on his chest, “Thank you,” I say, clearing my throat and straightening my back.
Seb searches my face for something, seeming to find it he releases me, handing me the coffee and the treats. He kisses my forehead, “Go get’em, babe. You know where to find me if you need me.”
Kissing his cheek I turn and head to the van. I holler as I get closer hoping Kai hears me well enough to open the door.
Kai
Opening the door for Mel I take the drink tray from her so she can climb in. As she settles she looks me over and notices my red eyes right away.
She tries to reach for me but I pull back, “Just tell me. I know something isn’t right,” at her confused look I point to the coffee and bag of pastries, “you brought treats, spill it Mel.”
She turns and hands me my coffee, “Take a drink first.”
I glare at her as I take the coffee and take a sip, “There, now spill it, bitch.”
She kneels in front of me, taking the coffee and putting it back in the tray, before taking my hands in hers.
“Mel, please! Stop stalling, you’re scaring me.” I say, pleading for her to just get it over with.
She looks down, takes a deep breath, and then looks back up. “Kai, Maddox was given 18 months.”
I feel my chest tighten, I can’t breathe, ‘18 months! That’s a lot more than a couple! What the fuck happened? How? Why? Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!’
Stunned to silence, I startle when I feel arms wrap around me. As Mel pulls me to her, I have no words. I’m speechless. ‘How am I gonna do this?’ I think.
After a few minutes, I pull away, moving to sit back against the wall as Mel hands me back my coffee. We sit together, drinking in silence, she moves beside me and lays her head on my shoulder.
More fucking tears fall, ‘how do I have any left?’ I ask as my mind replays our last conversation. After letting the news settle, I finally got up the nerve to ask the burning question, “What happened? What changed it?”
Mel shrugs, “I really don’t know, they had some private chat in a room with the public defender, left me outside.
We went into the courtroom, the lawyers talked to the judge and then he was sentenced.
It happened so fast.” She explained, side-eyeing me she continued, “I don’t think the judge believed him though. ”
“What? Why would you say that?” I ask with a hint of hope in my voice, maybe we can appeal it.
“It was just the way he looked at Mack. But apparently Dax signed something that the judge couldn’t just ignore, so here we are.” Mel finishes with a sigh.
My hopefulness deflates as I think, ‘of course the dumbass signed something’. We sit quietly, taking in the situation and after a while, I break the silence.
“Mel, I need your help with something.” I finally say, nibbling on the croissant.
She sits up and looks over at me, “Name it.”
“You’re gonna get a letter to him for me. He won’t read it if it comes from me, but if it comes from you he will.” I say.
Mel looks at me nodding her head, “I got you, he’s gonna kill me, but it’ll be worth it.” We sit together for a while longer before she says “I’m sorry, I gotta get goin’. If I miss curfew Mack’s gonna flip his shit.”
After she leaves I sit in the van writing a letter to Maddox, I have to get this out on paper before I can even think of dragging myself to my twin-sized bed that’s going to feel too big tonight without Dax in it.
As I lay there trying to sleep, I pulled my phone out re-reading the text that I got from Dax this morning, still wondering what he could have to tell me.
I pull up the picture Mel sent this morning while still contemplating the cryptic ass message and feeling no closer to an answer, I shut off the screen with a heavy sigh.
‘Only time will tell how everything goes,’ I think as I curl into myself. ‘Fuck it all,’ was my last thought as I cried myself to sleep.