13. Cameron
13
CAMERON
Me: I hope you’re ready for Mackenzie and Addy. Their excitement level is through the roof.
Lizzie: Always.
The girls and I are on our way to Lizzie’s pottery class, and I feel like a teenage boy about to face his crush at the school dance. There are legit butterflies in my stomach, and I can’t figure out a way to get rid of them. I know it’s a bad idea to think about Lizzie like she can be anything more than my young next-door neighbor, but no matter what I tell myself, my mind won’t stop racing at the thought of seeing her again.
In public. Without the cover of darkness and outside that little bubble we somehow created for ourselves.
“Are we almost there, Daddy?” Addy asks from the backseat, breaking into my inner turmoil and giving my guilty conscience a break.
“Just a couple more minutes.” My response is greeted by sighs, as if I just told them we had another two hours ahead of us instead of two minutes. “You girls excited?”
“So excited,” Addy squeals.
“I miss Miss Lizzie. I love when she comes out to help us play in the mud but she said clay was going to be even more awesome! I can’t wait to see her too,” Mackenzie says quietly, though her excitement still shines through as if she screamed it.
It’s comments like this that really make me worry about the damage Renee is causing by walking out on the girls and barely checking in with them. Mackenzie is dying to have a mother figure in her life, like every six-year-old girl would, and as much as I’m trying to step up, I know I’m not enough.
Maybe I should talk to Nikki and get some advice. She’s a great mom, and I see the way Mackenzie looks at her cousins with longing, probably wishing she had a mom who was hosting a sleepover or a barbecue for the whole family.
I need to do better for them.
“I’m sure she can’t wait to see the two of you too,” I respond, since I know she’s excited to see the girls. They get along easily, and she’s so sweet with them. Plus, I see genuine fondness in her eyes when she’s around them. More than Renee showed most of the time.
We park down the street from Lizzie’s studio, and I help the girls out of their booster seats. As we make our way inside, I’m mentally preparing myself to talk to Lizzie and not make it weird between us.
I feel like we’ve been having a secret affair with all our late-night talks. They’re beyond innocent, but we’ve definitely been skirting the lines of flirtation, and I’m worried I’m going to give us away or that people are going to find out somehow. Even though there’s nothing to find out.
I don’t know why I’m overthinking it. Lizzie is a friend, and friends can be close without being intimate. I just need to keep the boundaries in place and everything will be fine. It’s been nice having someone to talk to, and I don’t need to ruin that by trying to get my dick wet. Lizzie isn’t that type of girl, and I have other priorities I need to focus on.
Of course, as soon as I see Lizzie, I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my face when we lock eyes. The girls run to her and hug the hell out of her when she kneels down to squeeze them tight. Addy and Mackenzie are all smiles and squeals of excitement. As they should be all the time.
As I watch the three of them, I freeze up. I can’t take my eyes off Lizzie. She’s beautiful without even trying, wearing ripped jeans and a white tank top with her hair thrown up in a messy bun and freckles on full display.
She’s beautiful in the moonlight, but seeing her here, under the bright lights of her studio, it’s like a veil has been lifted. It’s a sobering reality check to see just how drop-dead gorgeous she is.
When Lizzie looks at me again, she gives me a shy smile, her sweetness overflowing, like she’s unsure of how to act around me during the daylight. And, because I just can’t stop myself, I walk straight up to her and give her a hug and breathe in her lavender and vanilla scent. Exactly what I’ve wanted to do these past three nights.
Actually, so much less than what I’ve wanted to do.
“Hey, Lizzie. Looks like you’re going to have your hands full for the next few hours.” We break away, and she laughs but won’t make eye contact with me.
“You have no idea. More and more kids show up every week. I think I might have to hire an assistant here soon.” She finishes talking, and I can see her swallow, her nerves clearly matching mine.
“Mackenzie and Addy have been talking non-stop about this for the past week, so I can imagine everyone is pretty excited to be here. They get to play with clay and interact with a pretty teacher for three hours. What’s not to like?” I internally cringe at myself as soon as the words come out. I know I’m probably making her uncomfortable and definitely sending mixed signals.
Lizzie’s face goes red, and I must be an asshole because I like seeing her get all flustered by the things I say and do. “Right. Well, I better get the class started.”
“Um, yeah, I’ll be back in a few hours to pick up the girls.” I bend down and give them goodbye hugs, which they barely return. They just want to get in there.
“See you,” Lizzie says before she turns to the kids and calls for everyone to grab a seat.
I’m thinking of ways to keep busy when I see Reid walk up to me. That’s right, he brings his nephew here. He’s grinning, so I’m guessing he noticed our little interaction.
“That was cute,” Reid sing-songs.
“Fuck off.”
All he does is laugh, and somehow that grates on my nerves even more.
“Wanna grab some coffee? I work an overnight at the hospital tonight, and I feel like we’ve barely seen each other since you got back.”
“I’m down. We’ve got some time to kill. Let’s head to Francine’s.”
We make the short walk down the street and grab a table inside after ordering, allowing the air conditioning to cool us off.
“So, how did it go with Lizzie?” Reid asks. “You two seemed awkwardly chummy when I walked over.”
“It went well. We’re friends.”
“Friends?” He laughs sarcastically. “Is that what you’re going with?”
“She’s great, but it can never go anywhere. You know this.”
“No, I don’t. Why can’t it go anywhere? You’re both single adults who clearly have a thing for each other.”
“She’s young and I’ve got a lot going on. It doesn’t make sense.”
“What doesn’t make sense was your alpha man bullshit at Rangers if you guys are just friends.”
“Even if she can’t be mine, that doesn’t mean she can be yours.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” At what must be a defeated look on my face, he takes a deep breath and reaches over to squeeze my shoulder. “Maybe just do what feels right and let the rest figure itself out. You’ve been through hell and back. Let yourself live and enjoy life a little bit.”
“I am enjoying life, but I’m trying to find my bearings too. I’m overwhelmed and blindsided at the same time. I want to pursue Lizzie, but it feels selfish, and I can’t be selfish right now.”
“Just cut yourself some slack and let things play out. Don’t fight it so much. You deserve a second chance. This might be it.”
“By the way,” I try to deflect. “Have you spoken to Liam lately? That whole thing at the bar…”
He looks at me like he knows what I’m doing but goes along with it. “Nah, not yet. Let’s corner him this weekend and get him to talk.”
We finish our coffees, and Reid orders a second one while we keep catching up until it’s time to pick up the kids. When we both walk back to the studio, the street looks packed with parents and family members picking up their kids. When I look through the window, I immediately stiffen when I see Brian Kincaid standing too fucking close to Lizzie. I can see her leaning back slightly, trying to get a little space from him.
“Easy, tiger.” I feel Reid’s hand on my arm, and I breathe. “You’re gonna crack a tooth with how much you’re grinding those molars.”
He’s not wrong.
“Thanks, man. I?—”
“You should do something about it. Allow yourself to try to be happy. Doctor’s orders.” With that, he walks inside with me, and his nephew Max runs straight at him. “See you soon, man.”
My girls are still washing their hands in the back of the studio, so I take that as a sign that I have a minute to intervene.
As I’m walking toward them, I hear Lizzie telling Brian that she’s really busy and doesn’t have time to go out on a date anytime soon. That’s my girl. Stay the fuck away from Brian . I may not know him personally, but I know his older brother, Beau, and he gives off the same douchebag vibes.
“Hey, Lizzie,” I finally say as I reach her and then turn to Brian and give him a curt nod.
“Hey, Cam. Heard you were back in town.” Brian smiles, and I can see the conniving little asshole about to make his debut. “Even those on top find their way back to little ole Brantley Falls, huh? Tough break about the injury, but it probably worked out better than being cut from the team because you weren’t performing up to par. Less embarrassing that way, right?” He says the last part with a shoulder shrug and laughs like it’s some inside joke and he got one up on me.
“Nah, what’s embarrassing is you not getting the hint that Lizzie clearly doesn’t want to go out with you. She’s trying to be nice and let you down easy, but you just won’t take no for an answer, will you?” I move closer to Lizzie and hear her suck in a breath. “Also, what are you doing here? Do you even have a kid, or are you just being creepy and ambushing Lizzie wherever you can find her?”
Brian turns to Lizzie. “Is that true, Lizzie? You don’t want to go out with me?”
“Yeah, man, it’s true, so back off,” I say, not able to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
“What are you, her boyfriend? Let her talk.”
“I’m not her boyfriend,” I answer quickly. “But I’m like a big brother stepping up to protect her from guys like you .” I wrap my arm around Lizzie’s shoulders to make it clear that I’m not backing down.
Unfortunately, that was the wrong thing to say. I immediately feel Lizzie tense up, and I know I’ve made a colossal mistake with that comment. The word boyfriend freaked me out, and I just blurted out the rest of it before I had a chance to think about it. Probably from all the years I’ve been overprotective of my sisters.
Lizzie moves out from under my arm and makes a point of taking a big step to the side before speaking. “Right, well, when my big brother and potential suitor are done having a pissing contest, maybe I can speak for myself.” Her face is turning red, but I know it’s mostly due to anger this time. She turns to Brian and pastes on a huge smile that I know is fake. “I’d love to go out with you, Brian. Name the time and place and I’ll be there.” Then she turns to me and levels me with the meanest glare she can conjure up. “I think Addy and Mackenzie are ready to go, Cam.”
I notice she calls me Cam and not Cameron, but I can’t dive into that because, sure enough, I look down to find Mackenzie and Addy standing next to me.
“Hey, girls. Say thank you to Lizzie.”
“Thank you, Miss Lizzie,” the girls say and give her hugs.
“You’re welcome. You girls are naturals. I hope to see you again next week.” Lizzie returns the hugs and then stands up and turns to Brian.
I guess I’m getting the cold shoulder.
As we’re walking away, I hear Brian suggest dinner at Crest Steakhouse tomorrow night at seven o’clock. There’s absolutely no way I’m letting Lizzie go on that date alone. Especially since I’m pretty sure she only agreed to go out with him because she was pissed at me.
An idea starts to form in my head. I quickly open the door to my truck and have the girls climb in. “Start buckling yourselves in, girls. I have to call Uncle Reid real fast.”
“Hey. Are you off tomorrow night?” I blurt out as soon as he answers.
“You’re asking the wrong person out on a date, Cam.”
“I need to intercept a date that Lizzie is going on and I need your help. So, are you free tomorrow night or what?”
“Do I even want to know what you did?”
“I may have referred to myself as Lizzie’s big brother,” I grit out. “In front of Brian Kincaid. While telling him she didn’t want to go out with him.”
I can hear him sighing, and I know he’s rolling his eyes.
“Just tell me where and when, Cam.”
“Crest Steakhouse. Seven o’clock,” I tell him.
“See you then. Oh, and make sure you have a good plan because it sounds like you’re gonna need one.”
With that parting advice, he hangs up, and I turn around and head back to my truck. Before getting in, I take one more look inside Lizzie’s studio to see if she’s still talking to Brian. He’s gone, but she’s still standing there, gaze down as she sweeps the floor, probably to get everything ready for her next lesson. She looks lost in thought, and I would love to get in there and tell her what a jackass I’ve been and beg her not to go on that date.
But I really have no right to do that. I have, however, the right to make it hard for Brian. And I plan on doing just that.
I climb into my truck and make sure Addy and Mackenzie are buckled in before driving off. I spend the drive home listening to the girls rant and rave about how great Lizzie is and how much fun they had making clay teddy bears. I get lost in their ramblings, and before we know it, I’m pulling up next to the house.
As I go through the motions of making dinner, helping them shower, and reading stories, I think about what a gigantic dickhead I am and what Lizzie is probably thinking of me. We’ve clearly gotten close over our nightly talks, and it’s obvious we’re into each other. After the shit I just pulled, though, I’m not so sure anymore.
I spend a really long time looking outside, trying to see if she comes out tonight so I can meet her under our tree. But she never does.
Tomorrow night better work, or I’m going to have to figure out another way to fix my mistake.
I had a revelation tonight.
I’m not stepping down when it comes to Lizzie Montgomery. I can’t.
I’ll need to make it clear that I can’t do long-term or offer her anything serious, but if she wants me and is willing to accept those terms, she’s going to be mine.