38. Lizzie
38
LIZZIE
I drove home in a daze.
When I told Lia and Ellie what had happened, they squealed. And I mean squealed. Which was so out of character for both of them that I know how happy they are for me.
Me? I’m processing it.
I got here, took a shower, and I’ve been staring at flights on my computer for the last ten minutes. I texted my agent during the art show and told her I was going to go to Chicago for a few days and be present at the gallery when my newest project goes on display for the first time. She was, of course, ecstatic and already said she was going to use this time to convince me to move there.
But I’m not going anywhere.
Yes, it’s Cameron’s fault and those stupid four words. But it’s also…me.
As much as I’d like to be the person who moves away, I’m not. I’m a small-town girl through and through, and nothing is going to change that. Plus, I promised Mackenzie I wouldn’t leave, and I’m not betraying that little girl.
I love you, Lizzie.
Why the hell is he taking so long?
I plop down on my bed and stare up at the A-frame ceiling of the barn. It’s crazy to think about how much has changed these past two months.
When my parents converted the barn into an apartment and studio for me a few years ago, I assumed this is where I would live most of my young adult life. I never once thought someone would come along and sweep me off my feet, or that I’d fall in love with him.
Let alone that it would be Cameron.
My eyes start to feel heavy, and even though it’s still fairly early for me to fall asleep, I’m not surprised my body wants to shut down considering everything. I’m about to succumb to sleep when I hear a knock on my door.
I knew he was coming. I know he wants to talk. And I know we should. All I want to do is run into his arms and kiss him, but I’m taking a page from Lia’s book tonight.
I’m making him work for it.
So I breathe in and throw open the door, coming face-to-face with the warm brown eyes I so often get lost in.
“Hey,” he says shyly.
“Hi,” I say back.
Silence stretches between us. Neither of us wants to go first, I guess. Why is this so hard? It makes no sense.
“Where are the girls?” I ask, not able to stand the silence anymore.
“I dropped them off at Nikki’s for a sleepover.” Cameron runs his hand through his hair, somehow mussing it and making it look even better than it already did.
Another stretch of silence passes between us.
“Do you want to come in?” I step aside so that he can and close the door just as he’s standing there. Looking at my computer. My flight search open right before his eyes.
“What? You’re leaving? You can’t leave,” he pleads.
“It’s only going to be for a few days. There’s a gallery opening and?—”
“Stay with me,” he blurts out.
“Why?”
“Didn’t you hear me back then?” He takes a deep breath and a tentative step closer to me.
“Maybe I want to make sure I heard you right,” I reply, but there’s a smile in my voice. And he knows it because he smiles back just as he stands before me, one hand on my waist, the other cupping my jaw.
“I’m in love with you, Elizabeth Montgomery. More in love than I’ve ever been in my life. Maybe this is me being in love for the first time ever, if I’m honest. I should have told you before now, but it scares the hell out of me.” My eyes fill up with tears, but they’re not the sad kind this time. “I know I’ve fucked this up. and I don’t deserve you. God knows I don’t. But I’m hoping you’ll give me a chance to make this right and prove to you how good we are together. How complete you make me and the girls. Nothing feels right without you.”
Cameron takes my silence as his cue to continue. “Do you remember when you told me about all the fantasies you had of me? About your crush and how no one measured up to this idea you had of me in your head?” I nod because I still can’t manage to get any words out. “I get it now. It feels so good to have those fantasies because when they come to life right before your eyes, it means everything.”
Cameron moves into me all the way and wraps his hands up around my neck until he’s cradling the back of my head, tipping it up toward him. “You’re my fantasy, Lizzie. The last two months have been a dream, and I was afraid that if I admitted it, it would all come crashing down around me. I was a coward, and I’m sorry.”
I stare into his eyes, and I see the honesty there. God, I love this man.
“I love that you push me. I need you to push me. You make me so much better. And not just for me, but for Addy and Mackenzie. I’ve been living in this place of fear. In my mind, if I don’t try, then I can’t fail, right? Except I’m failing by not trying. I failed you by not being honest with myself and the way I felt. I thought I was protecting us, but I wasn’t.”
I wrap my hands around his neck, and he rubs his face against my arm. Like he needs me to touch him.
“What happened yesterday…Renee knows Karen from some modeling shit they did years ago. Apparently, Karen hooked up with Brian, who told her what happened at your dinner. She just used it to hurt you. But she will never do that again. And I would never betray you like that.”
I knew that. I somehow knew it couldn’t have been him. I knew he didn’t want Renee back.
“Please say something, baby,” he pleads.
“I believe you,” I mutter.
“Besides falling in love with you, ask me what I never second-guessed?” he asks, desperation coating his words.
“What?” I ask nervously.
“Moving back home to Brantley Falls. I made the decision in one night after a conversation with my dad and never looked back because deep down, I knew my future was here. I thought it was the house and the farm and my dad and sisters and nieces and nephews, but it wasn’t. It was you , Lizzie. I just didn’t know it yet. You got under my skin, made your home in my heart, and I don’t want you to leave. You are my future, and I just needed to come home to find it.”
I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him because that’s all I can do. He kisses me back with so much passion and what I now recognize as love.
“Let me make your dreams come true. Keep stargazing with me. Keep pushing me to follow my dreams, and I’ll push you to follow yours. Let me support you as you support me. Be mine and let me be yours. Please,” he kisses me again, briefly, before I stop him.
“Wait. I need to say some things first.” I take a step back to gain some space. I’ll never be able to say what I need to say with him touching me. “You said that I have no experience when it comes to relationships or the real world?—”
“I didn’t mean that,” he interrupts.
“Just let me finish,” I say gently. I can see him tearing himself up again, and that’s not my goal here. “You’re right. I don’t have first-hand experience, but I see the love my parents have for each other. I see your sister and brother-in-law. I see love all around me and I know what it should look like. And I know that I’m young, but I also know what I want. I’ve always known what I wanted.”
“I love your confidence in what you want and your outlook on life.”
“And I’m sorry that I said all that stuff about you being afraid to commit. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you. I just hate to see you holding yourself back from what you want. You have all your friends and family here to support you, Cameron, even if you fail. I want you to follow your dreams, and I want to be the one standing next to you while you do it.”
He takes a deep breath and shifts his gaze to the ground for a beat before running his eyes back to mine. As if that brief moment was all he needed to compose and center himself for what he needed to say next.
“I’ve thought long and hard about what I truly want in life, Lizzie. I want you. I want my girls to be happy and healthy. Outside of that, nothing else matters. It truly doesn’t. But I also know that I’m ready for my next chapter, so I made an offer on the old Kellerman building, and it was accepted.”
“Are you serious? Cameron, that’s great!” I want to jump up and down in excitement for taking such a big step. I’m so proud of him.
“I’m going to let all the farmhands know this week that this corn season will be the last. I’m not going to let my fear of failing hold me back anymore.”
He’s looking at me with so much hope, and I can’t help falling in love with him a little more. So I move back toward him so I can lean against his body and run my hands up his chest.
“These have been the worst two days of my life, you know? I’ve never cried so much.
”Maybe we needed to go through the hurt to strengthen what we have, “ he says, and I frown.
“What?”
“Something your father said. It doesn’t matter. You can ask him later. I just want you to know I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you don’t regret this. No more tears. Except happy ones.” He captures my lips in a breathtaking kiss that has me wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he grabs my ass and hoists me up. “I love you, Lizzie Montgomery. God, I love you so much.”
“I love you too Cameron Dylan,” I say between kisses, barely able to catch my breath.
Cameron walks me backward and opens my door as he moves us both outside and then shuts it before starting the walk toward his house.
“What are you doing?” I break the kiss to ask.
“Taking you home. The girls expect you there every day, and I don’t think I’ll be able to spend a night apart from you ever again. You belong in my bed.”
“Okay, well, at least let me grab a few things.”
“No need. Tomorrow we’ll move all your stuff over.”
“Cameron, wait. This is too fast. Everyone will think you’re crazy,” I screech while pushing on his chest so he’ll put me down.
“Fuck it if it’s fast. We’re doing things at our pace, not anyone else’s. Do you want to live with me and the girls? You basically have been anyway.” He tightens his grip under my ass so I can’t get away.
“I mean, yeah, but?—”
“Let me list some selling points before you make your decision then,” he says excitedly, like he’s trying to sell me the house. “It was completely remodeled and updated just this summer. Beautiful finishes and all the upgrades. A California king-size bed, not a tiny little full-size like you have. You’ll most likely get woken up by two giggly, excited girls every morning.” We’ve made it all the way into his house and across the kitchen by now. “Oh, and you get to fall asleep to orgasms every night.”
I can’t help but laugh at him while also becoming very turned on thinking about his last sentence.
“You make a very convincing argument. It would probably be silly to say no, right?”
“Really silly.” He drops me to my feet in front of his bed and leans down to whisper in my ear. “And maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll get you to marry me by the end of the year.”
I stare up at him, my eyes wide as saucers, but all he does is smile and laugh at my reaction.
“Don’t look so shocked, Lizzie Montgomery. I want everything with you. Everything. We’re going to make all our fantasies come to life.” He leans down and kisses me, just a gentle brush of his lips. “You’ve had twelve years to dream up a life for us. I’m just trying to catch up. And I’m not wasting any time doing it.”
“That’s different, Cameron. I never thought any of it would actually happen.”
“Say you’ll move in with us, and I promise to show you how real this is every single day for the rest of our lives.”
“This is crazy.” I look up into his eyes and see the yearning in them as he waits for me to answer. “Everyone is going to think you’ve gone crazy.”
“No, they won’t. Every guy will look at me with envy and understanding. They’ll probably wonder why I didn’t tie you to me sooner. Plus, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks—just us.”
“Then, yeah, I want to move in with you and the girls. I’d have to be a lunatic to say no to a bigger bed and nightly orgasms.”
“Definitely certifiable,” he growls as he pushes me onto the bed.
He kneels down on the floor and gently pulls my socks off before running his hands up my calves and thighs and then peeling my shorts from my legs, leaving me in my black panties and oversized T-shirt. I’m breathing heavily, anticipating every move he makes. This feels monumental right now. Like this is more than just sex now. And I guess it is.
Cameron stands up and slides his hands up my stomach, bunching the material of my tee in his hands and pulling it up and over my head. He steps back and just stares at me for a second, then moves forward quickly, tearing the sides of my lace underwear and ripping them from my body.
I gasp at the fact that he literally just tore my panties off me.
“Fuck Lizzie. How could I have ever questioned how right you are for me?” He kneels down on the floor again, taking me in from my toes to my head before looking me in the eyes. “Spread your legs, baby, let me see what’s mine.”
“Can I taste you first?” I ask, reaching for his pants.
“I’ll never say no to you, baby.”
We slide off the bed and I get on my knees, pulling his pants and boxers down to his ankles. I take his hard cock in my hand and suck the tip into my mouth, tasting the precum already there.
“You never needed any pointers, baby. You suck cock like you were born to do it.” He runs his fingers through my hair as I keep working my mouth up and down while using my free hand to massage his balls. This earns me a long moan, and his hands tighten their hold on my head.
God, I love making him fall apart for me.
“Fuck yeah, that’s it.” I feel his body start to tense, and I know that means he’s close. Before I can make him come, though, he pulls me to my feet and throws me on the bed where I land on my back. “You’re too fucking good at that.”
He tears his pants and boxers off his legs and crawls over me on the bed. I lean back on my elbows and spread my legs, just as he commanded earlier. Before I have a chance to be shy, he dives in and licks me from top to bottom and then homes in on my clit. My arms give out, and I fall on my back, throwing an arm over my eyes and just enjoying the attention that Cameron is giving me.
He slides two fingers inside me and before I know it, I’m coming so hard I feel like I’m going to pass out. Cameron works his way back up my body, and I notice that he’s fully naked now. He places gentle kisses all along my chest and across my cheeks and the bridge of my nose. I’m still trying to catch my breath, but I’m already ready to go again when I feel his cock notch at my opening.
And then he stops.
“What are you doing?” I ask, frustrated.
“Just admiring you. Have I told you lately how much I love all these fucking freckles, Lizzie?”
“Can you love them later? Because I—mmm,” I moan, as I feel him push inside me an inch.
“And you’re so fucking soft and always wet and ready for me.”
He pushes all the way inside me now, sealing his lips over mine and swallowing my moan.
I feel so full, and I’m still sensitive from my first orgasm, so I know it won’t take much to send me over the edge again. I dig my heels into his back and meet him thrust for thrust, feeling a twinge of pain every time he bottoms out. The lick of pain with pleasure is too much, and I’m so close to coming that I lose the rhythm we have and just let him take over.
Cameron pounds into me while kissing my neck and moving up to my ear, where he sucks on the sensitive lobe. “Come for me, Lizzie. I can feel you holding back. Let go. I’ve got you. I’ll always have you.”
His words send me over the edge, and I come apart with my head thrown back. After a few more wild thrusts, he follows me, and we lie there, sharing breaths and looking into each other’s eyes.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too. Thanks for not letting me run away,” I whisper while running my fingers through his hair.
“I would have never let it happen. I would’ve chased you to Chicago and brought you back here where you belong.”
I laugh and try to push him off me, but he doesn’t budge.
“I wasn’t moving there. I was just going to go for a few days. Try to clear my mind. Wrap my head around being just your friend and probably just the girls’ babysitter again.”
“Oh, Lizzie, you were never the babysitter.” He laughs mischievously. “Since I moved back home, you were the girl next door that I fantasized about while jerking off in the shower. I dreamed about you every night and tried my hardest to stay away from you.”
“And look where that got you,” I tease.
“Exactly where I was meant to be.”
We make out like teenagers, which, of course, leads to a night of more sex and declarations of love and plans for the future.
And I realize none of my fantasies or dreams could ever hold a candle to the real thing.