Chapter 13
ADRIAN
The alarm rang way too early the next morning.
Tyrel and I had stayed out late, talking.
Eventually, he'd given me a kiss goodnight.
This one a bit longer, a bit deeper than the first time he'd kissed me.
I hadn't wanted to sleep after that, but the sun was about to rise by the time we parted.
I still had his promises, and he'd better make good on them.
Even though I was sleepy, I was feeling cautiously optimistic until breakfast rolled around and Tyrel's mother announced that today was the day we were going to the clinic to see the family's doctor.
He's going to find something wrong with me.
I couldn't shake that thought. I'd been just as nervous about my last doctor's visit, and even though I'd gotten the all clear once, nothing had changed.
Tyrel sought my eyes across the table, but not even he could ease my anxiety. I couldn't bear the thought of being told that I could never have the family I always dreamed of since I was a little boy and I'd first learned that I could create life.
"It'll be fine," Tyrel mouthed.
I lowered my gaze and tried to focus on my eggs and bacon, wishing his words to be true.
We saw the doctor, Dr. Kelve, shortly after breakfast. He was the kind of guy you would never have pegged as the intellectual type if it weren't for the stethoscope hanging around his neck.
His shirt was buttoned the wrong way, as if he'd been summoned in at a moment's notice, and knowing Tyrel's mother, maybe that was exactly what had happened.
His expression was kind, though, as he looked at us.
I thought he might have gone into medicine because he wanted to help people. Hopefully he could help me.
Holding on to that thought, I tried to calm my mind. Tyrel was right; I was worrying needlessly.
I might have felt better if Tyrel had been with us, but neither he nor his mother were present.
To give us privacy, his mother had said.
I'd had to suppress a hollow laugh at those words, sure that whatever the test results were, they'd see them anyhow.
Even if they were bad. Especially if they were bad.
Ugh, I was worrying again.
I really needed to stop doing that.
Zane was summoned into the examination room first. He didn't seem worried. In fact, he flashed me a grin as he walked past. Came out not ten minutes later, still smiling.
Couldn't have been so bad then.
But ten minutes could feel like a small eternity when you were scared.
"You seem nervous," Zane said, sitting next to me while Bernard went to see the doctor.
"What tipped you off?" I laughed in an attempt to make the situation seem funny. "All the nail biting?" I'd really thought I'd kicked that habit.
"Do you have anything to worry about?" He seemed honestly sympathetic, so I decided not to lie to him or wave him off.
"I've tried to get pregnant with no success before."
"I see. But there could be a lot of reasons why it didn't work. And hey, you're obviously not with the guy anymore, so maybe it was for the best."
I swallowed hard. "Yeah. Maybe." My mouth was dry.
I was sure there was something off with me. Nothing anyone said could change that. I wouldn't believe different until I was actually pregnant. And then, maybe not until I gave birth and the baby turned out alright.
The door opened again and I nearly jumped out of my skin when my name was called. Was it really my turn yet? I got up from my chair feeling slightly dizzy. It was a miracle I didn't stumble over my own feet on my way to the examination room. Or to the slaughter house, as I called it in my head.
The doctor greeted me with a smile. I made an attempt at returning it.
"Hello, Adrian," he said. "Please have a seat. We'll start by taking your blood pressure."
I nodded and sat down, glad that my legs didn't have to support me anymore.
It'll be over in ten minutes and you'll be fine.
"Have you been feeling sick lately at all?"
Before or after coming in here?
"I've been fine," I said. "Can't even remember when I last had a cold." I wanted to keep talking so that I didn't have room in my head for other things.
"That's good." The doctor put a cuff around my arm and I closed my eyes as he started to measure my blood pressure.
"A bit high," he said after a while.
"I'm nervous," I admitted. Better to confess to that than to make him think there was a permanent problem.
"Something I did?"
"No. Doctors just make me nervous."
"I see." He took the cuff off me and asked me to lie down on an examination table, where he proceeded to do more tests while I tried to block the whole thing out and keep breathing somehow. The worst part was when he felt around the lower half of my stomach. He took way too long to do that.
There's something wrong. Oh God, there's something wrong.
But then he moved on and I exhaled.
"Alright, now all I need from you is a bit of blood. Are you scared of needles?"
"No." Not of needles.
"Okay. This won't hurt."
Wasn't that always what they said? But I didn't mind the small pinch. At least after that, I was free. He was going to have the blood tested and tell me the results in a little bit. Until then, I could go back to the others and send Michael in. I barely processed all that information on my way out.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Zane greeted me when I sat back down again.
"The results aren't in yet." But I could breathe a little easier for a few minutes.
"You really do worry too much," Zane told me.
I shrugged, knowing he was right. Probably.
The doctor had said that it wouldn't take long to get our results back—I suspected the Dragonfang family's money had something to do with the quick turnaround—but it still took about an hour before I was called back in to have a little chat with Dr. Kelve.
He looked serious, and I felt my heart beat faster as I took a seat, anxiety taking full control of my thoughts again.
Oh God, there really is something wrong.
Breathe.
The doctor said something in greeting that I didn't hear, too focused on myself.
"Mr. Lark? Are you not feeling well?"
"No. I'm… fine." At least physically.
"Alright. I'm afraid we do have some things to discuss."
I only stared at him in response; I couldn't even speak.
"Let me first assure you that I could find no problem with your reproductive organs."
But there was a problem. He wouldn't be talking like that if there wasn't. So what was it?
"Just tell me what's wrong, please."
"I did find a certain hormone imbalance. Or rather, a lack of certain hormones that make you fertile and insure the safe progression of the pregnancy. It's the key item that differentiates regular men from omega men. Aside from the necessary organs of course."
His words hit me like several little stabs right into my rib cage. I lacked hormones? How had my last doctor missed that? And what did it mean? That I could never get pregnant? That, even if I did, the whole thing would be more risky than usual?
"So..." I began speaking, but wasn't sure how to get all the words floating around in my head into one single sentence that made sense. Eventually, I managed to ask: "I can't have a child?"
The doctor licked his lips. "It's not entirely impossible," I said. "Actually, I've read research on your condition before. Some argue that it can be a temporary state that the omega man enters when he feels circumstances aren't right for a pregnancy."
I didn't know whether to be relieved at that or not. I wasn't sure what to make of his words. Or that explanation. Was he saying that it was my fault I'd never been able to get pregnant? If so, Rory was right.
The thought stuck in my head, louder than everything around me.
Rory was right.
I had failed him and our relationship. If what the doctor was saying was true--it was all entirely on me.
"Mr. Lark, are you listening?"
I looked up at the doctor as my chest drew tight. I tried to listen, but it was difficult.
"You can have a child," the doctor said with emphasis. "But your chances of conceiving are significantly lower than average at this time."
I nodded, because that was all I seemed to be able to do anymore.
"I'm sorry I don't have better news," the doctor went on to say.
"Are there drugs that can fix it? Hormone treatments?" I'd read about those on the Internet when I first suspected my equipment wasn't in full working order.
"Certain treatment options do exist. But they can be expensive."
"I don't care." I didn't even have to think about my response.
"With regards to the job and your suitability, you'll have to discuss it with the Dragonfang family, I'm afraid."
I sucked in a breath. I hadn't even thought about how Tyrel would take this news yet. This revelation would probably place me at the very end of the list.
Fuck.
At the very least, I thought bitterly, I would find out if Tyrel could still be interested in me when I couldn't help him get his inheritance.