Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
ARTURE
“No!” I catch Nic-coal in my arms as she falls, her fragile body limp in my grasp.
Beyond my immediate focus, there’s noise: roars of outrage, the frantic beeping of monitoring equipment, the shimmer of lights from holo-cameras. The Prif stands there, victorious for a fleeting moment, then stunned as the weight of her actions crashes over her.
What happens next, I don’t care about. The rest of the world fades into nothingness.
I drop to my knees with Nic-coal in my arms. There’s nothing when I press my hand to her chest, no movement, no heartbeat. Her eyes are half open, staring beyond me, empty of life and light.
I can’t lose her. No. Not Nic-coal.
My scales ripple and shift as I transform into a green-scaled Selthiastock with all their instinctive diagnostic capabilities at my command.
I smell her skin, flooding my senses with her grassy scent, kiss her unmoving lips, tasting, sampling, searching the myriad little pieces of information to the core reason why she’s not breathing.
The blaster shot to the chest caused an electrical surge in her heart, disrupting its rhythm, burning out its signaling.
Her heart stopped, and it will never beat again.
I squeeze her limp body to my chest. Drok na, why don’t I know more about humans? Why don’t I have the knowledge I need to save her? If I could swap with her, I would, I’d give up my life in a heartbeat.
And that’s the answer.
I think of Nic-coal. Of her strength digging the channel with me, her enemy; of her warmth, helping me through each memory as they slotted into place; of her intelligence, giving her knowledge to the other humans; and of her compassion for others, always putting them before herself.
The transformation blooms in my chest, pain searing through me like molten heat. I keep conscious by holding onto Nic-coal, screaming my defiance. I will not fail my mission. I will not lose her!
When the pain recedes, two hearts pump in rhythm within me. Both human.
Selthiastocks surround me, their scales flickering with agitation as they sense death, their hands reaching toward me as the priority patient, knowing they can’t do anything for Nic-coal.
“She needs a new heart,” I rasp, my voice hollow but steady. “See to it that she gets it.”
Without hesitation, I plunge my metal right fist into my chest, through scales and skin, bone and tissue.
Pain follows after the cold of shock, burning, flensing, as deep and sharp as the thought of losing her.
My hand wraps around one of the hearts, her new heart, forged in my chest to match hers.
I grit my teeth, muscles locking as I pull it free, blood dripping from the fist clutching the heart that beats for her.
I place it in the hands of a Selthiastock nearby, barely able to see through the haze of agony.
Then the world falls away.
I float in nothingness. The noise, the lights, the chaos all fade into silence.
Into the lapping of water, like a pond. The hot springs on that far, remote planet. Our own personal paradise. Well, when we’d finished digging the irrigation channels.
“Working with you was fun,” Nic-coal says. “I enjoyed that.”
I enjoyed it too. Looking back, it was the best time of my life.
Her delight fills the air, and a sweep of warmth rushes through me. Somehow, this marvelous human chose me.
I pull her close. She's warm from her own internal fire, the light she shines for those around her. I'll never let her go, never.
But there's a secret lurking just beyond the edges of my memory. I tighten my grip around her. Once I learn what it is, this will all go away.
“Arture,” she whispers. “You know what happened.”
“No.” A denial and a refusal. “Don't tell me, don't break this. I don't want to remember whatever it is. I don't want to confront what happened.”
She smooths her fingers through my hair, playing with the cold golden strands. “But it's part of you now.”
“No.” Nic-coal's body, limp in my arms. I remembered, and now I can't go back.
Her warmth intensifies. “Thank you, Arture. Thank you for everything.”
She's shining now, her inner self made real. But she's dissolving in my arms, and I'm selfish, I can't let her go.
I cling on to her, dragging her down with me. “Don't you dare leave me. I caught you, and you're mine.”
Her laugh is pure sunlight, surrounding me. “Race you back, Arture.”
I jolt awake. My body aches, the phantom pain of what I’ve lost echoing through me. My chest feels empty, not because of the lack of a double beat.
Nic-coal. Where is she?
Selthiastocks hover around me, their eyes filled with exhaustion. Ezla’s face is among them, drawn and weary, but relieved.
I lie in a milanutrient bed, half submerged. I try to fight my way out of the fucking thing but succeed only in thrashing orange goo onto the floor.
“Stop, stop,” Ezla says firmly.
I can’t, I want to scream at him. “Where… Where…”
“The Milagrove tree. You’re in the best of care,” he answers, misunderstanding me.
He shines a light in my eye, perhaps to torture me for leaving him at the Euthanization Center.
“You died several times, but each time you came back, with a little encouragement. You’ll be weaker than you were before, and I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to change form again; it’ll put too much of a strain on your remaining heart. ”
I swallow hard, my throat dry and raw. “Where…?”
He frowns, then his face clears. He smacks his palm to his forehead, a perfect human gesture. “Forgive me, of course. You want to know about Nic-coal.”
I nod, tears pressing at my eye. Please let her be alive. Please let her live to throw sedative in my face or sit on it; whatever she wants of me is what I’ll give.
Ezla steps aside, and my eyes land on Nic-coal.
She sleeps on a couch next to me, wrapped in multiple layers to keep her warm, her chest rising and falling with steady rhythm. She looks peaceful, a healthy ruddy color in her cheeks.
I reach out a trembling hand, my fingers brushing hers, and our hearts beat together, steady and strong.