Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
NASH
“Why did you steal your dad’s keys?” Corinne asks me from the floor of this empty house.
“Why won’t you drive your car?” I fire back, watching her pale.
“Fuck you,” she spits. “You don’t deserve an answer to that.”
“And you do?” I laugh. “You’re the reason I have to steal the keys!”
She starts to stomp away again but my shirt tied around her arms catches my eye. It’s my fault. I hurt her. My hands find my hair, tugging it so hard it might pull from my scalp.
I watch as she slips her shoes back on. Desperate to stop her, I speak, “He just left. He packed his stuff up and walked out. He didn’t even try to fix it, he didn’t want to.”
She stills, dropping the laces she was tying.
I continue, fully aware I’ll probably regret this later, “He was gone. All. The. Time. They fought all the time, and my dad spent most of his time working in the burn unit doing plastic surgery, and my mom was sad. I could see it. We all did. She turned to the church for help but instead, she got Ethan fucking Blackwood.”
She fills the empty space next to me, “People make mistakes, Nash.”
“Yeah, that’s what she did. She made a mistake, and he couldn’t see past that. Instead, he found a new family and forgot about mine.”
"He left and my mom hit the Xannies so hard she barely knows what day it is. If it wasn’t for Carson’s parents, I wouldn’t have eaten some nights. My dad wanted me to come live with them, but I couldn’t leave her, you know? Because she needed me. She still needs me.”
She tilts her blue eyes in my direction, tears pooling behind them, “I didn’t mean to mess things up for you.”
I sigh, “I’ve spent the past two and a half years wondering what things would be like for my family if I hadn’t kissed you that day.”
“Yeah, well, while you were trying to forget, I held on to that memory for dear life. When I would need somewhere to go in my mind to get away from it all, that’s where I went. To the batting cage, with you.”
Her words nearly gut me. She thought about us? I tried for years to push the memory of her away, but truthfully, I didn’t want to forget. That day meant the same thing for both of us.
I was her safe space, and I’ve spent the past week trying to make her miserable. I’ve never had anyone depend on me for anything, and suddenly I’m feeling a little guilty for betraying her memory of the guy she thought I was.
“I found her,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “Aspen. I drove her to the hospital. I can’t even get in my car without seeing her in the passenger seat bleeding.”
Shit.
“What happened?”
She rolls her eyes, willing her tears away, “You know everything, remember?”
Maybe I don’t know everything, but I know more than I probably should. I know that there was a sex video of Aspen’s boyfriend and Corinne. I know that Aspen died the next day, and I dug into it enough to know that everyone blames Corinne for her death.
She stands up quickly, leaving that conversation behind. The blood glistens on the floor and continues dripping from my t-shirt tied around her arm.
“Shit, we gotta get back so I can take you to get that looked at,” I wince. I can’t believe I pushed her like that.
“Yeah, it looks like the rain has slowed down.” She agrees. “We should probably go.”
I smile, “Or we could take a little tour of the house just to be sure the storm is over.”
“Breaking and entering isn’t really my strong suit,” she tilts her head to the side, offering me a stern motherly look.
“That ship has sailed, don’t you think?”
She rolls her eyes, “Okay, but just a quick sweep.”
I grab her hand, leading the way. I watch her eyes skim every inch of our interconnected hands. I think she even surprises herself when she doesn’t pull away.
We explore the house, and it’s massive. I’d say four of my houses put together, and mine isn’t small. Everything is beautiful, the floors, the fixtures, the giant bathrooms. Corinne stares in awe as we bounce from room to room.
“This place is incredible.”
“I know. I think it has too many rooms, though.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “I don’t know why anyone would need so many.”
“Maybe for crotch goblins?”
She giggles, “You’d need like fifteen or twenty kids to fill this house.”
“Yeah,” I growl. “I don’t want kids.”
She lets go of my hand, twirling into a big bedroom, “Why not?”
The smile on her face makes me stumble over my words, “I… I just can’t picture myself being a father.”
“Not ever?” she questions, confused.
I shake my head, “I don’t know. I don’t ever think about the future.”
“That’s depressing.”
I shrug, “It is what it is.”
My stomach flips watching her, and she’s absolutely gorgeous. How will I continue isolating her when she just radiates this nauseating positivity? People will realize it’s a sham, that someone like her belongs with someone like Carson. Not me.
She runs her fingertips along the windowsill, looking out over the water.
“You have a castle like this at home?” I ask, stepping behind her.
She laughs, “No. I lived at school. In a tiny dorm for two, barely big enough to turn around in.”
I cringe, “You lived at school on purpose?”
“Yeah, with all the rehearsals and classes, it’s better to be there 24/7.”
“Do you miss that?”
She pulls away from the window, like a turtle hiding back in her shell, “I did the right thing by leaving.”
“You act like such a badass here with me. Why not just tell them all to piss off?”
She nearly shudders, and I can tell she imagines what it would be like if she were still there. “Because it's my fault, and they’re right. It’s better if I’m not there, reminding everyone.”
Her confession pulls me back to reality. She slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. The girl I could’ve sworn had a halo hovering above her head is a fraud. She’s no better than Ethan Blackwood.
That’s one busted-ass halo.
She steps away from the window, heading for the door.
“It’s not gonna be any easier here,” I warn.
“So you’ve said,” she scoffs. “Yet here you are, pushing me down, only to pick me right back up.”
I can’t let her see that she’s my weakness, so I make sure nothing is around that she can get hurt on again and shove her back to the ground, stepping over her.
“Let’s go.”