Chapter 3
Chapter
Three
“Ican do this.” Angelica breathed slowly, steadying her heart rate. Or at least she tried. Instead, her entire body was tense, and it felt like she was going to erupt with emotion.
Hope wasn’t supposed to be there.
Angelica had worked so hard to push off this little reunion even longer, and then when Lyric had picked her up, Angelica had panicked. Because Hope was still at the studio, and because they were going to have to see each other again. So much sooner than she’d wanted it to be.
Breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, Angelica clenched her eyes shut tightly as fear ratcheted up a few more notches.
It was just going to be the first few weeks that would be awkward and then they’d be able to figure out what they were doing and how to work with each other.
Intuitively, she knew that. But the reality was still smacking her in the face hard.
Tears breached the corners of her eyes and fell down her cheeks. Angelica swiped them quickly. She couldn’t mess up her makeup. Then she’d have to sit in another chair while she waited for them to fix her up again.
“I can do this,” Angelica repeated to herself. “Just one day at a time.”
They could figure it out. They had to, because they were contract bound to work together for the next six months between preseason prep, filming, and post season press.
Angelica took one more breath, finally steadying herself.
At least to the point that she thought she could hide it from everyone out there.
She squared her shoulders and stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes looked cold and dead to her, which was exactly what she was going to need to go into that studio and take pictures. Wade would hate it because the pictures wouldn’t be perfect, but she couldn’t do this any other way.
With one last moment for herself, Angelica slid her feet into the heels she was supposed to wear and stepped out into the hallway.
The air around her changed from nervous to tension-riddled and tight.
That was exactly what she needed. She rolled her shoulders and walked back toward the studio.
Her goal was to make this as quick as possible and be done with the photo shoot sooner than their scheduled time.
“Ange!” Wade grinned at her and then waved his hand up and down her body. “Perfect as always.”
Angelica hummed at him, her jaw clenching tightly, but she didn’t say anything to him in response. She did, however, flick her gaze toward Hope. Hope was riveted to her, gaze dragging down and up Angelica’s body before settling on her face, lips parted, eyes wide, and cheeks flushed.
Holy hell, this was going to be a challenge.
Angelica nodded at her and turned to face Wade again. “What shots do you need first?”
“Headshots. We can give Hope a break.”
“Of course.” Angelica stepped toward the backdrop and stood where the small X was taped on the floor. She pulled her shoulders back, smoothed her hands down her jacket, and raised her chin up to look at the camera. Instead, her eyes met Hope’s.
“That’s it, Ange. These are just a few test shots to get the lighting right.”
She said nothing, barely even hearing Wade as he rambled on about all the things she only halfway cared about.
Because she couldn’t hear anything other than the intake and exhalation of her own breath, the rapid thump thump thump of her heart against her ribcage.
Her eyes were glued to Hope’s, their gazes locked in a battle that they were both drowning in.
If she closed her eyes, she could still smell the waft of lilacs that Hope always seemed to have around her, no matter how long she’d been in the kitchens. It was underneath everything. Angelica swallowed hard.
“Ange, I need to you face me and tilt your chin up a bit.”
She barely even registered him, but did as she was told. Hope gasped, her lower lip quivering. Angelica’s breathing deepened, her entire body on fire as if Hope was the one scrutinizing the way she looked, turning her this way and that way to see just how beautiful she was.
“Hope, why don’t you join her?”
Angelica froze. Hope’s cheeks turned bright red, and she turned to the side and set the water bottle that hadn’t left her fingers down onto a small table. Neither one of them spoke as Hope walked closer to her and under the lights.
She had to stop herself from taking in too deep a breath as soon as Hope was next to her, because she was already overwhelmed with the scent of lilacs, with the heat from Hope’s body, the closeness that would only take a few inches to remove.
Angelica opened her eyes and looked directly at Wade, refusing to make eye contact in such close vicinity with Hope.
“Both of you, cross your arms and stand shoulder to shoulder but take a half step turn so you’re almost back-to-back.”
Angelica remembered this pose from last season.
In fact, it’d been one that they’d used on the majority of the press.
It turned out stunningly. She licked her lips, lifting her arms and crossing them as if protecting herself from everything that was bombarding her right now.
The rustle of fabric from her clothes and Hope’s was so loud in her ears that she could barely focus on her own breathing.
“Ange, remember to actually relax your face. You’re not smelling anything gross.”
No, she was smelling something gloriously wonderful.
Hope.
“Ange!”
“Yeah, I heard you,” she mumbled under her breath.
Hope chuckled, but she refused to turn and look. The last thing she needed was Hope’s amused face turned in her direction.
“Good.” Wade laughed but put the camera back to his face.
Angelica turned and relaxed her face just like he’d told her to.
She was here to make this process quicker, not longer.
And that was going to take some effort. Lyric stood behind Wade, snapping a few photos of them together and then stopping.
Angelica licked her lips again and tried to find the calm center that she’d had before.
“Now would you both look over your shoulders at each other.”
“What?” Angelica said, her voice cutting through the room. That hadn’t been what they’d done last time. She remembered. And she really didn’t want to look at Hope or be that close to her again, at least not any time soon, because she was struggling just to control herself.
“Look at each other,” Wade reiterated.
Angelica closed her eyes. It was now or never. She could do this, and she could make it seem like she had nothing more to give than what she was supposed to be giving. Holding her breath, she looked over her shoulder.
Her eyes locked on Hope’s crystalline ones.
She tensed. A tendril of dark hair curled around Hope’s cheek, stopping just by her ear.
Angelica rubbed her fingers together to resist the urge to reach up and push it behind her ear.
She breathed. Hope’s lips parted, a dampness to them that Angelica remembered so clearly—the taste, the feel, the way Hope moved them. She melted.
Looking back into Hope’s eyes, Angelica stilled. The entire world in that studio became about the two of them standing together, about the way Hope dropped her gaze from Angelica’s eyes to her lips and back up again.
She was struggling with this too.
Together, they were both trying to maintain some sense of decorum and dignity, to keep themselves as far apart from each other as possible.
And they were both failing miserably. Angelica opened her mouth as if she was going to say something and then stopped.
She dashed her tongue across her lips, following Hope’s eye movements as she looked down and followed the slide of her tongue.
Angelica’s heart raced. Her entire body was tuned into Hope and no one else. She could hear Hope’s breaths, see her pulse race under the skin of her neck. What would it feel like to press her lips there? To feel the way Hope’s heart raced for her.
“Perfect!” Wade said loudly.
Angelica snapped her attention back around to face him, her entire body alive with electricity. It felt like she was floating, not standing, and her knees were so weak.
“Now go shoulder to shoulder again but turn out the other way so you’re actually facing each other.”
Did he not understand how fucking difficult this was for the both of them? Surely Wade could see it in Angelica’s face. Shifting around, Angelica stepped the other direction, and this made everything worse. She had to look at Hope this direction, and there was no way for her to avoid her.
“Angel…” Hope murmured.
“Not now,” Angelica answered, trying to just keep herself together.
This shouldn’t be so hard. They’d been apart for months now. They’d only shared a couple of quick kisses and nothing else. They shouldn’t be this connected or intertwined. Not yet, anyway. And not ever, frankly.
Angelica raised her chin and looked directly into Hope’s eyes.
They needed to do this for themselves, to prove to each other that they could make it through this season and not have any issues going forward.
They’d never kiss again, and that was fine by Angelica.
Hope had her husband, who she was happily in love with.
And she had her daughter, who was adorable.
Angelica wasn’t going to ruin that for her.
“We have this, filming, and press, and we can do this,” Angelica said, raising an eyebrow at Hope with a silent challenge.
“But Angel…”
“No buts,” Angelica interrupted. “Nothing but professionalism.”
Hope breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. Finally she nodded her understanding.
“Good.” Angelica pursed her lips and clenched her jaw, then immediately relaxed her face because she knew that was what she was supposed to do per Wade.
“But we do need to talk,” Hope fired back, defiantly. She even pushed in a little closer as if to make her point.
Angelica steadied herself, looking up into Hope’s eyes because these heels weren’t quite tall enough to get them on the same level. “Not about this.”
“Yes, about this.”
“No.” Angelica shook her head. “Never about this.”
Hope scoffed and stepped back fully, breaking the pose. Wade didn’t say anything. And Angelica tuned in to everyone else around them again. Were they aware of the battle that was going on between them? Of the fight that they were having in whispered tones?
Hope shook out her hands and rolled her shoulders, rotating her neck in a circle. Was she preparing to go into a brawl?
“I need a minute with you.” Hope snagged Angelica’s wrist and started to pull.
Angelica went willingly, unable to stop her feet from moving. She glanced over her shoulder at Wade and nodded at him. “Give us five.”
Hope dragged her down the hall to the dressing room area and opened the door to one of them, stepping inside and shoving it closed.
“What the hell is going on?” Hope spat out the words.
“I can’t do this right now, Hope.” Angelica breathed heavily, her entire body tense. There wasn’t anyone around them to keep them in check this time, and she wasn’t sure that if put to the test she’d have the willpower to keep herself at bay.
“We need to talk about this.”
“Yes, we do. But not right now.” Angelica shook her head wildly, tears stinging her eyes again. She couldn’t let Hope see her cry. And fuck, she had to stop doing that. Bolstering herself, Angelica stayed close to the door. “I can’t do this right now.”
“But I need to do it now.” Hope flung her hand out wildly. “I can’t keep going on not knowing what’s happening.”
Angelica stepped forward and planted her foot down in front of her. She gave Hope a hard stare, cocking her head to the side to make this as clear as she possibly could. “Nothing’s happening, Hope. I told you that.”
“But—”
“No. Hear me.” Angelica breathed deeply. “I can’t do this right now. I…” Her voice broke. “You weren’t supposed to be here when I got here. I can’t have this conversation right now.”
“Then when? Because I can’t keep living in limbo.”
Fuck, there wasn’t a limbo. Hope was happily married, they all worked together, Angelica was their boss and producer. And she’d lose everything if they were found out, if anyone knew—she shook her head, stepping back and pulling herself together. “Come to my office on Sunday.”
“Sunday?” Hope spat the word out.
Angelica nodded. “It’s the only day I don’t have scheduled meetings.”
Hope breathed slowly, her body calming down enough that Angelica could see a glimpse that this might actually work in her favor. “Sunday.”
“Any time of the day. Just tell me when.”
“My nephew is being baptized Sunday, so four.”
“Then at four.” Angelica breathed deeply, the fresh air of dissipated tension filling her soul and her body. She very nearly leaned in to get a little closer to Hope, but she managed to stop herself. “Now, can we finish this photo shoot and get back to our lives?”
“If you say so,” Hope mumbled, but she didn’t move to walk away either.
Angelica tensed, straightening herself. She took another few seconds before she turned around and pulled open the door.
Stepping out of the confined space wasn’t as freeing as she’d thought it’d be.
Instead, all she could feel was Hope’s gaze on her back, the way that Hope followed her out into the studio area.
Wade eyed them suspiciously and curiously. “Everything good?”
“Perfect,” Angelica parroted and moved to stand back where she’d been before.
Hope followed her, stepping up next to Angelica but not looking at her. Whatever had happened had been for the best. They weren’t fighting each other anymore, trying to keep themselves in place and avoiding the tension. They’d acknowledged it and dealt with it as much as they could.
Now they could finish out this photo shoot and be done with it all.
And Angelica would have the time she needed to figure out what the hell she was going to say.
Because Hope would want answers.
And Angelica needed to have them.