Chapter 36
Chapter
Thirty-Six
“I’m going to have you all at the counter, okay?
Just like at home when you help Auntie H cook.
” Rex pointed toward the kitchen prep table where he’d set up some chairs for Jenna and Annalise.
Mandy was tall enough to lean over the counter and see everything going on.
“Then we’re going to have Auntie H show you some of the food she’s cooking. ”
Rachel smiled at him.
Hope picked up Jenna again and popped her on her hip. “Where’s Eva?” she asked.
Rex shook his head. “Molly said she’s throwing a fit about this and doesn’t want to do it. I figured we could leave her out of it.”
“Don’t you think it’ll be a bit odd that her cousins are here and she’s not?
” Hope frowned at him. She hadn’t heard anything about the fit.
Then again, she had less access to her phone to keep up with what was going on than Rex did.
Especially since she’d spent the last hour in Ansel’s chair trying to research where she and Angelica could go away for a weekend.
“You can try to convince her, but I don’t think you’ll have any luck.” Rex threw his hands up in the air and gave Rachel a pointed look. “She likes to think she’s a teenager already.”
Rachel laughed lightly. “I get how that goes.”
Hope couldn’t imagine going through this with three kids. Mandy had a few years on the others, coming from Rachel’s first marriage, but to then rinse and repeat? No thank you. Eva was enough for her. Rex sent Hope a curious glance before stepping away.
Filming the scene between all of them didn’t take too long.
The kids already trusted Hope to deliver on the food flavors, and all she’d really had to do was explain to the camera the new menu that she was trying out to make the resort a little more family friendly.
They had games and a pool with slides, but the food was a bit too highbrow for some kids, especially smaller ones with particular palettes.
She’d add in the recipes to the menu later on that week when they made the final changes.
She was just cleaning up with the kids all helping out when Angelica and Eva stepped into the kitchen. She looked stunning in a black dress that was low cut along the curve of her breasts, and heels that easily made them the same height.
The temptation to walk over to her was so strong, so she gave in. Her eyes were glued on Angelica’s baby blue ones, her presence just drawing Hope in even closer. She stopped a step away from Angelica and glanced down at Eva.
“I hope you weren’t distracting Ange.”
Eva shook her head, her hand still firmly grasped in Angelica’s. “We were working on math homework.”
“Oh.” Hope’s heart twisted. Eva hadn’t been able to stop talking about Angelica and math homework since they’d met.
“It helped calm her down,” Angelica stated, her shoulders rigid as she looked around the kitchen.
Hope glanced behind her, surprised to find Rachel and Rex both staring at her with wide eyes and surprise. What the hell was wrong with them?
Eva’s gaze moved from Angelica to Hope and back again, a smile forming on her lips. “Did I miss the scene?”
“Yeah, baby.” Hope reached down to rub circles in Eva’s back. “But that’s okay, there’s another one out by the pool today, I think.”
“Tomorrow,” Angelica corrected.
Of course Angelica would know that. She’s the one who put most of the schedule together with Rex. Hope’s heart pattered lightly.
“I need to get back.” Angelica moved her hand forward, the one that still had Eva’s clutched in her fingers. She waited for Eva to let go and grab onto Hope’s hand, standing next to her.
Hope wanted to say more, to ask more, to spend more time in her presence, but Angelica was already walking away. She squeezed Eva’s hand tightly and bent down to kiss her cheek. “I did save you some food if you’re hungry.”
Eva’s eyes lit up. “Ramen?”
Hope snorted and shook her head. “No, but pigs in a blanket and some spaghetti.”
“Yum!” Eva made a loud slurping noise.
Hope moved to get the food, setting Eva up at a table in the corner of the dining area where she wouldn’t bother anyone else.
By the time she got back to the kitchen, Rachel was in there without the kids, and Rex and his crew were taking some footage of the other staff cooking the rest of the meals.
“Where can we talk?” Rachel asked, a firm quality to her tone that immediately set Hope off.
“What?” Hope frowned.
“Without anyone seeing us.” Rachel crossed her arms, a hard look on her face, and her toe nearly tapping against the floor. “I need to talk to my baby sister, not Chef Hope Lawrence.”
“Oh, um…” Hope looked around the kitchen. There really wasn’t a good place in a commercial kitchen for that. “Outside.”
Hope led the way toward the delivery service door and then outside into the bright sun. She squinted her eyes as she crossed her arms and waited for Rachel to come out with her. On instinct, Hope reached to her back and turned off the microphone pack before reaching for Rachel’s and doing the same.
“This is about as alone as we’ll get unless you want to wait for tonight.”
“What’s going on?” Rachel rolled up on her toes and kept her gaze on Hope.
“What do you mean?” Hope’s stomach plummeted, fear crawling up into her chest and grasping onto her heart. But it didn’t squeeze. Not yet at least.
“Is Rex…” Rachel stopped. “I’m not even sure how to ask this other than what’s going on. Something’s not right.”
“Everything’s fine.” Hope wrapped her arms around her middle and held on tightly. Nothing was going awry, at least not anymore. They’d found a balance and an answer. Rachel was just trying to poke holes where there were none.
“That’s a bunch of horseshit and I know it.
” Rachel sighed heavily. “Something happened when you filmed last year, I know it did, because you and Rex were at odds with each other. I didn’t say anything then because you both seemed to be working on it.
But now… I don’t even know.” Rachel clenched her jaw and looked around.
She stepped in closer and lowered her voice. “Is he having an affair?”
“No!” Hope shook her head, her face pinching.
“Are you?” Rachel’s look was direct.
Hope’s lips parted in surprise. That fear skipped clawing her heart and went straight to her throat, trying to claw its way out through her mouth. “Wh-what would make you say that?”
Rachel’s shoulders dropped along with her jaw. “Hope Isabella Lawrence. I don’t play games.”
“I…” Hope looked around wildly to make sure that no one else was nearby. She lowered her voice so that it was barely above a whisper. “Rex isn’t cheating on me, and I’m not cheating on him.”
At least she wasn’t anymore, but that had been how this whole situation started, wasn’t it? It was so easy to forget that when it seemed to be working so well, when they seemed to have a handle on the complicated relationships between everyone.
“Then what the hell is going on, because something isn’t right here.”
Hope sighed. She nodded her head toward the pathway and started to walk away from the restaurant and the main reception building and toward the suites that were all along the golf course.
She didn’t want to be anywhere close to where someone could overhear this conversation.
Rachel followed dutifully, but she didn’t seem pleased about what was going on.
“Ange and I are in a relationship, of sorts,” Hope murmured, pressing her lips together hard. Except she really couldn’t define that relationship, could she? Because she and Angelica hadn’t talked directly about what they were to each other. “Rex is fine with it.”
“I don’t think he is.” Rachel furrowed her brow.
“What?” Hope stopped walking, her shoes scuffing on the ground. The scent of fresh-cut grass reached her nostrils and very nearly made her sneeze.
“Didn’t you see the look on his face when she walked in with Eva?” Rachel bit her lip. “He looked betrayed.”
“Eva and Ange have spent time together since well before she and I were… a thing,” she added at the last minute. She wanted to say girlfriends, but that didn’t sit well with her either.
“Okay, I need to take this one step at a time, I think.” Rachel breathed in deeply and let it out slowly. “First, since when did you start liking women? Not that I have an issue with it, but for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been pretty damn straight.”
Hope pursed her lips and shook her head.
“When I met Ange last season, if I really think about it. I didn’t actually name it until we were in Colorado last year.
” She rubbed her hands together and started to walk again.
They’d walk for as long as they needed to get this conversation out in the open.
It felt so good to say it out loud to someone else, someone who could give her some kind of perspective on everything.
“I fell in love with her, Rach.” Tears welled in Hope’s eyes. “And I didn’t know what to do.”
“Not cheat on your husband!” Rachel’s voice raised.
Hope shook her head wildly, the tears disappearing. “That’s not what I’m doing. Rex knows. He’s fine with it.”
“He’s not.” Rachel stepped in closer. “Look at me, Hope, because he’s not okay with it. He might say that, but the look on his face today, he’s not okay.”
“We’ve spent the last year working through this,” Hope whispered. “We’ve spent the last year figuring out how we were going to do this, and making sure that we’re okay, and coming up with rules that we both agreed to.”
“What rules?”
“Rules about being in an open relationship.” Hope bit her lip, looking her sister directly in the eyes. “I know it’s unconventional, that’s why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want judgment from you.”
“I’m not judging.” The defensiveness in her tone said otherwise. And they both recognized that. Rachel tried again. “I’m not judging you.”
“No one knows except the three of us. No one can know, because… there’s so many reasons why.
” Hope sighed at the end, a tear falling down her cheek.
“Eva loves Ange, and Rex hasn’t liked that.
He doesn’t want Ange to replace him, but I also can’t keep Eva away from her.
We practically live in the same space for three months straight. It’s impossible—”
“Hope, just stop talking.”
Hope stilled. The betrayal on Rachel’s face was evident. Hope hadn’t just hurt Rex through this whole situation, she was also hurting her sister and her best friend. Hope swallowed the lump in her throat—or at least she attempted to. But it came right back.
“I’m not sure I know who you are anymore.” Rachel’s voice was so quiet, almost deadly.
Hope’s heart shattered. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“The woman I know, my baby sister, wouldn’t hurt a fly.
She’s loyal, she’s fun and energetic, and she loves her husband and daughter deeply.
” Rachel held her ground. Hope looked at her in the eye, and she finally finished speaking.
“This woman you’ve become in the last year isn’t someone I want to know, and she isn’t someone that I want around my kids. ”
“Because of Ange?”
“No, not because of her. I’m not a huge fan of Angelica.
I find her cold and bitchy, and standoffish.
But I don’t know her very well, in all fairness.
I’m not talking about her specifically. I’m talking about the choices you’ve made, Hope, and nothing else.
Be gay, be queer, be whoever you are. But this person who steps out on a committed relationship?
That’s not the person I know, and that’s not someone I want to be associated with. ”
Rachel stepped away from her and sighed heavily. She turned back around and put her hands on her hips.
“I’ll finish filming this week, because Rex doesn’t need or deserve to be left in the dust because of a choice you’ve made. But I’m going to need some time before I’m ready to be around you again. If that ever happens…”
She walked away.
Hope stood still, the sun beating down on the top of her head and shoulders. But she was so cold. Her entire body was telling her to run after Rachel and not stop until this was fixed, until they went back to the way they were before, but her feet were glued to the spot.
She brushed her fingers across her cheeks, now drenched with tears she hadn’t known she’d shed.
Hope sniffled, breathing heavily as she tried to get herself under control.
They still had so much to film that day.
They still had so much they needed to do.
But she couldn’t stop spiraling out of control.
What if Rachel was right?
She hadn’t seen that this would affect more than just her and Rex and potentially Eva if she could keep a handle on everything.
But Rachel and Rex were so close. When Rachel’s first husband had left her, Rex had been the one going over there to help her out with the house and kid whenever he was in town. He was the one who had been there for Mandy when she ran away to try and go stay at her dad’s.
Hope moved to a bench and collapsed down onto it.
It wasn’t a matter if Rachel was right.
She was.
This relationship with Angelica was going to be too much of a risk, not just for her immediate family, but for everyone she loved.