CHAPTER 32
KIAN
17 years old
We’ve finished up our group project. Thank god, because it has been stressing me out more than necessary. I hate group projects with a passion. There’s always at least one person who slacks off, and the rest of us have to put in extra effort to make up for it. Not in this group, though. I ended up with a really good group, and we got it finished faster than I expected.
So now I just have to wait for Trent to pick me up. It’s our four month anniversary today, and I could not be more excited. I’ve spent the full day with my heart beating out of my chest. We celebrated our birthdays together last month by splurging on a cake. It didn’t cost that much, but then when I saw the exhaustion lining Trent’s face from picking up extra shifts after, I made the ultimate decision that we couldn’t splurge like that again.
He works so hard, every day. Work gets in the way of school sometimes for him, and I hate it. I want him to do well in school too so we can both get out of here, but he’s always more focused on me doing better. He has more faith in me than he does himself.
I love him. I love him for all he’s done and all he’s sacrificed for me. But I love him for more than that.
I know we’re young, but he’s my soulmate. My other half. I love him even when he can’t love himself, and I want to be there every day to tell him how worthy he is of being loved by everyone. He’s so easy to love.
“Waiting on your boyfriend?” Lydia from class sidles up to me, and I nod my head while she falls in step beside me. “He’s cute,” she remarks, then smirks at me when I glare daggers at her.
I know Trent is cute. Everyone knows he’s cute. He has that dark and broody look to him, with his dark hair and dark eyes, but on the inside he’s a soft marshmallow.
“Jesus, relax,” she says. “I’m not going to try and steal your boyfriend away from you. I was just making small talk.”
“Small talk about how hot my boyfriend is?”
“You said hot, I said cute. I could have asked for a threesome, but I didn’t.”
I burst out into laughter, the loud sound echoing across the white brick walls of the hallway. “You’re right, but even if you did ask, I would say no,” I say, still laughing, but there’s a note of seriousness in my voice. I will never share Trent.
“Boo, I guess I’ll just keep my fantasies about the two of you in my journal.”
I pretend like I don’t hear her say that, and depart from her with a wave, because that’s weird. Who would want to write fantasies about me and Trent?
Trent is waiting in the pick up area for me, his bright smile shining through the passenger window, and I pick up my pace to get to him faster. My backpack is slamming against my back, so I have to slow down no matter how impatient I feel to get to him. I don’t want the picture box I made him to burst before he has the chance to open it.
The box took me forever to make, and I had to use a lot of supplies from the library, but I’m sure they won’t miss them. The pictures I chose are printed on basic white paper, so I’m a little disappointed that they didn’t come out exactly how I wanted. But that’s okay. I’m sure Trent will be so excited. I wanted to do something for him since he always makes sure I'm taken care of.
This is it.
The moment I’ve been waiting for my whole life. To have someone that I love and that loves me right back.
I open the door and my eyes drop from his face to the passenger seat. My heart falls into my stomach, an ugly feeling creeping up my spine. The most beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates are sitting in my seat. The chocolates are my favorites, even though I try to lie to Trent and tell him they’re not, because they’re expensive.
He spent money, money on me, when it could have gone toward gas, or food for us, or new shoes for him since his are wearing a hole in the soles. There were so many more uses for it, rather than wasting it on me for something that is going to die and something I’ll eat in one sitting because I can never control myself.
The selfish part of me loves it, loves him even more for putting me above everything else. The rational side is pissed off because we’re struggling to keep our heads above water as it is. We wouldn’t even have a car to live in if Trent hadn’t fully paid it off before his parents kicked him out for being with me. And now here he is, putting me above himself, once again. I want him to take care of himself first, but he doesn’t do that. He never does that.
“What is this?” I can hear the anger in my voice, and I regret it. I don’t want to be mean to him, he doesn’t deserve it. His face flames red, and I know I’ve messed this up but my temper can’t be controlled now.
“I bought them for you. It’s–” He pauses, trying to find a way to explain himself. As if I don’t know what today is.
“Are you dumb? Seriously, Trent, why would you do this? We don’t have the money.” I’m pleading with him because I know today is important to both of us, and it’s been four months since we’ve been officially referring to each other as boyfriends. It’s a big deal.
I start to talk again, to take back calling him dumb. He’s not dumb, he’s anything but dumb. But he doesn’t give me the chance.
“It’s not we, it's I . I don’t have the money. Since I’m the one working while you gallivant around at school all day, because I actually want you to be able to do something with your life.”
Ouch. A knife plunging itself into my chest would hurt less than the words he just spoke aloud. Is that really how I’ve made him feel?
“Just forget it.” He snatches the presents from my seat and chucks them in the back without any further care. His face is closed off while I stare at him, nibbling on my bottom lip to keep myself from crying.
I get in the car, holding my backpack in my arms and feeling the outline of the box I was so excited to give to him. He doesn’t try to grab my hand, and I don’t offer it up. We ride in uncomfortable silence until he pulls into the gas station.
Trent gets out and opens the back door, snatching out the flowers and the chocolates as I watch him. I cover my mouth with my hands, trying to force down the sob that’s climbing up, while he throws them into the trash can.
He walks inside, and I quickly get out and grab the flowers and the chocolates from the trash, stuffing them in my bag as soon as I get back in the car. Before I zip the bag up, I take in a deep breath of the floral scent.
I love them.
I love him.