Chapter 31
Nick
Iopened my eyes and cringed at the ugly curtains in the safehouse bedroom Henry and I used. Talk about affirming stereotypical behavior for gay men. After all I went through, I needed something familiar to ground me. Especially since most of what I thought I knew was wrong.
Being an angel with powers was pretty cool, but it might take the shine off superhero movies since I was practically one myself. I decided I could live with that trade-off.
Not being a Fenton, however, didn’t make me as happy as I expected.
They were a shitty family and I always wished for a different one. Talk about being careful what you wished for. My real mother was dead, I didn’t know my father, and I was actually cousins with Trevor, Brenda and Zeke – if you considered third cousins, sixteen times removed real cousins.
For a hot second I thought Henry was my first cousin, but he explained the archangels weren’t brothers from the same mother. Ariel and Uriel, however, were true siblings, which made Uriel my uncle. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him being my legal guardian. He was a bit too grumpy.
I had no doubt about Henry. We had a lot to discuss, but Henry let me move at my own pace. I hadn’t been ready after the bombshells from Uriel and Raphael, so he hugged me and let me fall asleep in his arms.
The only thing that could’ve made the night better was waking up to better curtains.
I sat up slowly, my body protesting each movement. Though better than yesterday, I still felt like I'd been hit by a bus. Was this what a hangover felt like for angels? Did angels even get hangovers?
The door opened and Henry backed into the room carrying a tray loaded with food. The simple sight of him eased something tight and painful within me. He turned, his face lighting up when he saw me awake.
“Hey,” he said. “I didn't expect you to be up yet. How do you feel?”
It should freak me out that he and I were soul-bonded, but the man was amazing. “Like I fought a D’val in an MMA match, got hit by a bus, and then let a herd of cows run over me.”
“So not great, but better than yesterday.” He set the tray on the nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed.
Taking my hand, he kissed my fingers. “Food will help. I couldn’t find a griddle for pancakes.
Plus, I wasn’t sure you’d be awake so I brought up bagels, cream cheese, and fruit. We also have orange juice and coffee.”
Normally, I’d protest all the one-sided attention, but I probably couldn’t have helped much this morning. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
Henry moved the tray to the bed and joined me for breakfast. Since I asked for a pause in our conversation, I needed to restart it.
The problem was I didn’t want to have the discussion I wanted to have.
I took a bite of my bagel as the silence between us suffocated me. Unable to stand it, I put my food down.
“So, I'm an angel.” As conversation starters went, that one fell into the ‘punch myself in the face,’ category. Henry smiled, but didn’t interrupt my parade. “And you’re an angel. Not metaphorically, but actual wings and powers and everything. Please no harps. I’m practically tone deaf.”
Henry tried not to laugh, but he couldn’t stop himself. “That was so cute. Yes, Nick. Everything. Harps, however, are optional.”
Taking a sip of coffee, it felt surreal. I’d never had a boyfriend, or been able to afford room service, and now I had a soulmate who brought me breakfast in bed. I kept thinking I’d wake up and realize it was all an elaborate dream.”
“It’s a lot to process.” I snorted at the absurdity of that statement. “Which is the understatement of the century. Twenty-four hours ago I was Nick Fenton, human. Now I'm an angel, the fourth heir, and the son of Ariel, who was clearly a big deal. Not that I even know what that means.”
“All that’s true.” Henry said rubbing the back of my hand. “But you’re still the same kind, funny, beautiful man with a stubborn streak almost as big as your uncle’s.”
“Except I’m not the same.” I covered his hand with mine. “My whole life was built on a lie – multiple lies. My family isn't my family. My mentor isn't who I thought he was. Even you—"
The words caught in my throat.
“Even me, what?” he asked calmly. His voice was barely above a whisper.
I hadn’t meant to accuse him, but we agreed no secrets. “You knew what I was. That's why you were with me, wasn't it?”
“Yes, but no.” Henry moved the tray and sat next to me. “I was assigned to protect you, not be your friend, or fall in love with you.”
Since I woke up after the fight with the D’val, I’d struggled with what to believe. Everything about my life had been a lie. How would I know what was real? I also had to confront how na?ve I was about things. I trusted too easily. Applying those thoughts to Henry, however, was more complicated.
Before we got close, Henry told me he had a secret, but promised to tell me when he was allowed. He’d kept that promise. I might not have a lot of experience, but it didn’t feel like he’d been acting. Either I accepted his word, or ended things with him. I couldn’t do the latter.
“What about Trevor? Was he assigned to be my friend, too?”
“Trevor was assigned to watch over you, but I think you know in your heart his friendship is real.”
He was right, but my insecurities ran deep. “You’re right, but it’s a lot, you know?”
“I do,” Henry said. “I'm sorry you had to go through everything feeling so alone. None of us felt good about the lies.”
Deep down I knew they hadn’t wanted to lie to me and I needed to forgive them, but my embarrassment held me back.
It had been so easy to lie to me. I was like a five-year-old believing Santa Claus could visit a billion homes all over the world in a single night.
Letting go of those feelings was the only way to heal.
“So tell me," I said, reaching for his hand again. “What does being HKarlin mean? Does it mean we’ll always have awesome sex?”
Henry snorted and rolled toward me. “I think we’ll need to conduct extensive testing to find out.”
“We will.” I leaned in for a quick kiss. “I probably don’t need to say this, but I’m not mad anymore. Not at you at least. What happened before yesterday doesn’t matter. It’s what we do from today that I care about. Just, no more secrets, half-truths, or omissions that are ‘for my own good.”
“I promise.” He planted a soft kiss on my lips. “That works both ways. If things get to be too much, or you’re feeling overwhelmed, tell me. I won’t be able to help if I don’t know.”
“Deal,” I pushed him over and climbed into his lap.
“Right now, however, I want to find out if our bond really does make it better.” Henry looked so confused.
Torn between what was happening and a desire to fuck me into tomorrow.
“Hey, I’m twenty-five, never had a real boyfriend, and never had make up sex.
Now I have you, and reason to see if it really is better. ”
“Well, I’m one hundred and seventy-four and never been in love before, and also never had make up sex. I think it’s time I found out.”
Hearing his age I froze. It shouldn’t have surprised me. Uriel said he’d stopped his sister for thousands of years, but I never applied that to Henry. “A hundred and seventy-five?”
“Seventy-four.” Henry rolled us until I was on my back and he was on top. “What’s wrong? Don’t like older men?”
Amusing as I found our banter, it was delaying what I wanted most. “I’m fine with them as long as it’s you. Just don’t expect me to call you Daddy.” I cupped his cheeks, pulled him down and kissed the shocked look off his face.
Trevor sat in the kitchen scrolling through his phone. There was an empty plate and half full cup of coffee in front of him.
“Hey.” I said, crossing the floor to reach the coffee pot. “Anything good?”
“I caused an uproar at work.” He clicked the phone off and set it on the table. “Quitting on the spot will do that I guess.”
That was unexpected. I hadn’t really thought about work this morning, but clearly I wasn’t going back either. Filling a cup, I carried the pot to the table and freshened his mug. “They don’t want to lose you. Neither do I.”
I held his gaze for a second, and then returned the pot to the machine. That wasn’t how I intended to start the conversation, but it was as good as any.
“That’s good, because I really don’t want to lose you either.” He held up his cup and we clinked them. “I’m sorry for… everything.”
After talking to Henry, I was prepared to deal with Trevor’s guilt. “Sorry for being my best friend?”
“Well….”
“Sorry for helping me after I was disowned?”
“They couldn’t really disown you it turns out.” Trevor raised an eyebrow.
Trevor hated the Fentons more than me. “Okay, bad example. Sorry for helping when I needed it most? I said it before, and I’ll say it forever, I wouldn’t have survived if it wasn’t for you. I owe you more than I can repay. You gave up six years of your life to help me.”
“Nick, I appreciate this more than you know, but I don’t deserve your forgiveness.
” He stared in his mug and he wiped the tears from his eyes.
“All those guys who never called back? Me and the others—mostly me—fucked with their brains so they never agreed to a second date, or called you back, or made up all those other excuses for not dating you.”
I sat back so hard, the chair nearly tipped over. “You… you what?”
“They said we had to make sure you didn’t date a human.” Trevor kept his gaze down. “You being a secret angel and all, if your powers showed up… you know. It’d be hard to fix.”
I’d planned to tell Trev we needed to forget the past, but I had no…. All those years of me thinking something was wrong with me. “You…. I trusted you. Told you everything.”
“I know.” He swallowed loudly. “I felt like shit, but if I didn’t, Michael would’ve replaced me. I figured better you hate me when you found out than I abandon you too.”