GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL
EVIE
I THINK HE SOUNDS LIKE AN ARROGANT JERK, ANNIE DECLARES.
INSTEAD OF RETURNING TO ALPHA Z with my new gang of girlfriends, I fled back to my room and confessed the whole story to my best friend.
Now we’re in our pjs, sitting on our beds with only our bedside lamps on.
The dim light is perfectly suited to embarrassing confessions.
Yes, he was. But… In the spirit of excising every horrible memory, I admit, I found his overconfidence attractive. Maybe because I’m so inexperienced. When I get together with someone, I hope one of us will know what they’re doing.
I wasn’t even interested in him before, but now I am. Viktor’s bossiness gave me tingly sensations all over my body. I was tempted to go up to his room just to see what would happen, but then common sense intervened.
What should I tell Des and the others? It’s obvious that he’s not going to fall for me. Clearly he dislikes me—either because he thinks I’m too inexperienced, or because I elbowed him in the, uh, privates. Or perhaps because he thinks I’m a liar, which is actually true.
Let’s check the hockey roster and find out how old he is anyway. Annie pulls out her phone. Oh, he’s twenty-three.
We contemplate this.
Is four years too much of an age gap? I ask. It doesn’t seem that bad to me, but then my father is fifteen years older than my mother.
Annie gathers her knees to her chest and hugs them. I don’t know. But he’s right about one thing, though. You are young. We both are.
I nod and shoot a guilty glance at my phone, which I’ve turned off so I can get my story straight before Des interrogates me. She probably won’t know I’m even gone until the others report back.
Annie clears her throat. Okay, here’s what I think you should do.
Just tell them that he said you’re too young.
No need to share all the other stuff about ball-busting in the library.
Maybe it’s a good thing. Now you can get into Alpha Zeta Mu without having to make out with some conceited hockey player.
All right, I agree. But I wish I could have at least kissed Viktor once.
I have a feeling it would have been incredible.
I turn out my light and burrow under the covers.
Even in the darkness, I can still see his brown eyes assessing me before he realized who I was.
It felt like he could look right into my brain.
Or see right through my clothes. I shiver and close my eyes.
On Saturday afternoon, I return to the sorority house and spill my edited confession. He’s not interested in me, I conclude.
But Savannah said he was checking you out big time, Des declares.
Yes. You guys did a great job. He was definitely attracted to me—until I opened my mouth. Then he declared that I was too young and he didn’t want to have anything to do with me.
I’m starting to tire of restating the argument.
Obviously the Revenge Squad doesn’t like the fact that all their work was wasted on one futile night.
We’re all gathered back in the meeting room to strategize for what I hope is the very last time.
They have to accept that I’ve tried but failed.
Then I’ll get accepted to Alpha Z and I can tell my mom, and we’ll all live happily ever after.
Angelica sniffs. I told you this would happen. There was no way that Evie could pull this off. You can’t send a girl to do a woman’s job.
Highly insulting, but exactly what Viktor said. Now part of me wishes I had succeeded just to show Angelica I could.
Des sighs and contemplates me, or rather, the problem that is me.
She shakes her head. Let’s give it one more try.
There’s a frat party at Omega Rho Chi tonight.
Vik will show up since there’s no hockey yet.
But this time, one of us will go with you.
She’ll be able to tell if he’s interested or not.
Who’s going to go? Jordan asks.
Des looks around.
Please let it be Mia, I implore mentally. Okay, if not Mia, as long as it’s not…
Angelica, she decides.
Oh no.
Then Mia is directed to give me an even hotter look tonight. We go off to her room. The party doesn’t start for a few hours, but it takes time to look beautiful.
Do you want me to go home and get something to wear? I ask, even though I’m not sure what qualifies as hot.
You can borrow something. I think you and Jordan are almost exactly the same size. What do you want to do with your hair? she asks. My hair is currently in a changeling state of half-straight and half-curly.
Maybe straight again? I loved that, I say.
She laughs. That’s how it always is. People with straight hair want curly, and vice versa.
She sends me off to take a shower and shave my legs. When I return to her room, she hands me a body lotion that smells like a field of wildflowers. I sit on her bed and apply it. Then she hands me another bottle. Put this shimmer oil on your legs. I got an outfit from Jordan.
There’s a tiny skirt and filmy shirt beside me. They look…inadequate.
What did you think of Vik? Mia asks.
Honestly, I can see why all of you liked him. It’s difficult to describe his physical effect on me. His commanding presence awakened the sexuality that the Revenge Squad has been urging me to feel. He has an aura.
She nods. He’s not like anyone else, is he?
If this last try works—not that I think it will—I’m really worried that I might start to like him. I want to hate him because of what he’s done to all of you, I confess.
Yeah, I can see that. But you have to stay strong, Evie, she says.
Since it’s just Mia, I dare to ask what I really want to know. What happens if you go up to Viktor’s room?
Her eyebrows go sky-high. Wait, did you not tell us everything? Did Viktor invite you upstairs last night?
I can’t even meet her eyes. He said something like that. But I’m pretty sure he was just testing me. A test I failed spectacularly. Yet there was this daring part of me that wanted to be alone with him.
Evie! You’re so deep. Then she rolls her desk chair over to face me. Look, I know you’re not very experienced with men, so let’s be real. If you go up to a guy’s bedroom, he’s going to think that you want to have sex with him.
I nod. The thought of having sex with Viktor should not be appealing in any way. And yet...
She leans even closer. And if you want to have sex with someone you’ve just met, no judgement.
Women have needs. But—and this is big—it has to be with a guy you trust. Because if it’s some jerk who brags to all his buddies that he scored with an Alpha Z, then you’re going to get a reputation.
And every guy you meet will expect the same thing.
Maybe I’m too wide-eyed, because she laughs. Relax, Evie.
Sorry. Being attracted to someone is so new to me.
Okay, here’s the second thing you need to know.
You can always change your mind. Let’s say you make out but he’s gross and sloppy and you’re really not into it.
You can stop and leave. It’s tricky, of course, because he’s going to get pissed.
You can use an excuse like you’re going to throw up.
Guys hate the idea of messing up their beds.
Or appeal to his ego, like he’s someone you could really get serious about so you want to take things slow.
If he pushes you, just say no firmly and leave. Don’t worry about making a scene.
She reaches out to apply foundation with a sponge. Of course, that doesn’t apply to Vik, she adds.
Why not?
Because if you say no, he’ll stop. I know from personal experience.
I get these migraines when the weather shifts, and once, even though we were, seriously, just about to start, I told him I wasn’t feeling well, and he stopped and took me home.
A total gentleman. She gazes off into the distance then snaps back to the present.
Besides, you don’t have to worry. Vik’s totally into safe sex.
And he won’t have sex with you if you’re not on birth control.
I swallow. Hearing all these intimate things about Viktor now that he’s become a real person feels like a huge invasion of his privacy, yet I long to know more. But I restrain myself from asking anything else.
Once I’m ready, Des and Angelica come in to inspect me. My hair is straight, my eyes are violet again, but this time Mia applied a lot of eye makeup and pink lipstick. I’m wearing a navy blouse so sheer you can see my bra. And the denim miniskirt is very short. My newly oiled legs have goosebumps.
Isn’t it a bit cold for bare legs? It’s almost October. I tug down the skirt.
It’ll be hot at the party. Des shakes her head. This outfit is too much.
Phew. That’s what I thought too, I agree.
Let’s focus on one thing: her legs. How about a plain top, like a silk T? With jewelry.
Mia pulls out a black silk top with a V-neck and hands it to me. I can’t get used to changing in front of other people, so I turn my back and put on the new top which is blessedly opaque. Mia adds a couple of gold necklaces.
What you think? Des asks nobody in particular.
It’s as hot as she’s going to get, the always positive Angelica replies. But you can’t bring that huge purse with you. Haven’t you got a wristlet?
I shake my head. I don’t even know what that is. I take my phone out and leave my bag along with my clothes. Angelica jams my phone into her tiny shoulder bag. I don my own long sweater against the chilly night. And off we go.
Tonight’s party is even more headache-inducing than last night’s because of the constant blast of what Angelica informs me is electronic dance music. Whatever it is, I don’t like it.
I also dislike going to parties with Angelica. She keeps telling me that I’m not projecting enough sexual energy. Short of sticking my finger into a socket, I’m not sure what I can do. She already made me shed my sweater shield so half my body is exposed to the room.
Can you show me what sexual energy looks like? I finally ask.