AGAINST ALL ODDS
EVIE
I’VE FINALLY FOUND MY DREAM VOLUNTEER JOB AT ALPHA Z. I’M ON THE DECORATING COMMITTEE for our upcoming fundraising dance with the theme of the Roaring Twenties. I get to combine my love of historic research with my love of crafting.
Okay, does everyone have their responsibilities? Birgit Jansen asks at the end of our first meeting. We all dutifully nod.
Sorry, I missed which charity we’ll be donating the proceeds to, I say. Isn’t that the most important part?
Oh, we haven’t determined that yet. But we’ll know before the posters are created. Birgit gives us a sunny smile. Anything else? No? Then this meeting is dismissed.
I gather up all my notes. Cecily waits for me so we can walk back to Humphrey together.
It’ll be so much easier once we actually live here, she declares as we head for the front door.
Don’t you find it weird that we haven’t chosen the charity yet? I ask.
Excuse me, says a voice behind us, and we both turn.
Can I grab Evie for something? Angelica is smiling, but I’m instantly suspicious.
Oh, sure. Will you be long? I can wait, offers Cecily.
No, you go on back to residence, Angelica urges as she steers me back towards the parlour room. All my instincts are telling me to flee, but how can I? Her glossy gel nails are digging into my shoulder.
Inside the room are Des and Jordan, and both look uncomfortable.
Angelica closed the door firmly behind her. I’m calling this meeting of the Revenge Squad back in session.
Where’s Mia? I ask.
Mia’s out on a date, Angelica replies.
But can we meet if we don’t have quorum? I insist, my unease growing. I really want my biggest ally here.
Quorum, shworum, says Angelica with complete disregard for Robert’s Rules of Order. She sits in the chairwoman’s seat where Des sat at our first meeting.
It has come to our attention that you are still dating Vik. How long have you been going out now?
I’m not sure. I mean, there’s no real start date, I stammer. Was it that night at the party? Or the night he first messaged me? Either way, it’s more than two months, which is an eternity in Viktor World.
Oh, don’t give me your innocent act. Well, you’ve been seen together at a hockey party, Peggy’s Restaurant, the Student Union coffee shop, and— Angelica recites from notes on her phone.
Is this necessary? Des interrupts. Since Evie was actually there, she already knows all the dates.
Angelica glares. Fine. Let me summarize. All signs point to Vik being really into you. And it’s an opportunity for you to fulfill the contract that got you into Alpha Zeta Mu in the first place.
I stare at Angelica, not quite comprehending what she means. Her eyes glitter and her red lips are set in a feral grin.
What are you talking about? I ask.
Am I the only one who gets things around here? You need to break up with Vik. Now.
Why? I ask.
Because he cares about you, so he’ll finally get hurt. Like we all want. She motions towards Des and Jordan, but they don’t seem as rabid as she does.
I need to put out this spark before it flames. I keep my tone soft and reasonable. Look, we were all here before. First, we decided that we weren’t going to hurt Viktor. Later, we decided I could date him. I haven’t done anything behind your backs, so why is this a big deal now?
Because no one in the history of Vegas odds would have guessed that he’d fall for you!
Some clueless nobody that we had to completely make over just to be presentable.
Angelica shakes her head, as if she still can’t believe my existence.
Face the facts, Evie. You would never have had a chance with Vik if not for what all of us did for you. You owe us, and it’s time to pay up.
I’ll have to appeal to the saner people in the room.
Look, I know that Viktor hurt all of you, and I’m not going to diminish your feelings in any way.
But he does so many good things: supporting his teammates, other students, and the whole community.
He’s a highly moral person and a great hockey player.
Do you really want to hurt him over what happened in the past? All of you have moved on since then.
Des opens her mouth to reply, but Angelica interrupts. Yes, we do. You can’t just waltz in here and take advantage of everything that your sisters at Alpha Z offer and never give back.
Never give back? I’ve done tons of volunteering here and supported all our big events. I’m not keeping score, but from what I’ve seen so far, Angelica never does anything that doesn’t enhance her shiny self.
She waves this off. I’m your senior, and I’m telling you to break up with Viktor.
I cross my arms. No. I’m not obligated to do anything that’s morally objectionable. That’s in the charter for all sororities and fraternities.
Angelica’s lip curls. Oh, please. You think you’re so much smarter than the rest of us.
The door bursts open, and Mia flies in. What did I miss?
She takes in the whole room: Des and Jordan sitting uncomfortably, and Angelica and I are face-to-face in tense debate.
Angelica wants Evie to dump Vik, says Jordan.
Why? Mia’s shock echoes my own.
Angelica whirls to face Mia. Because that’s the reason we even let her into Alpha Z! She wasn’t good enough to make it on her own. Evie is supposed to be our champion of revenge against a man who goes around breaking women’s hearts, and she’s not doing her job.
You are unhinged, I say softly.
Her eyes flame and narrow. You’re so dumb about men that you don’t even get it.
You can break up with him now and make everyone in this room feel a whole lot better, or you can wait a week, ten days, max one month, and then he’s going to dump your ass too.
And you’ll come crawling back here, crying and wishing that you’d listened to us.
You may believe there’s a future with Vik, but there never is.
We agreed to let Evie date Viktor. You can’t expect her to do something that none of us were able to do, Mia says.
But even you know that he’s going to dump her. Soon, Angelica challenges.
Mia doesn’t reply, but she won’t meet my eyes.
I can never know what anyone else’s relationship with Viktor was like, but I do believe that ours is different.
My strength is observation. I understand his family background and his worries about his grandmother.
He’s almost inarticulate when it comes to feelings, but he communicates through physical acts.
He expresses his caring whenever we make love.
It’s in the moments afterwards that he’s at his most tender.
Maybe we’re not forever, but I know he cares.
You don’t think we have a chance either? I ask Mia.
She sighs. Look, Evie, I’m sure what you guys have is special and everything.
But Vik is someone who doesn’t even know what he wants.
I don’t know what his problem is. But in my case…
She hesitates and looks around the room.
Our breakup really came out of nowhere. We were so happy, and then, poof, it was over.
Mia looks so sad now that I regret asking her. Des and Jordan both nod.
It would actually be easier to take if he was an asshole, Jordan says. But he was actually really apologetic when we broke up.
Des makes a face. Not me.
Or me. Angelica says. Her relationship with Viktor remains a mystery to me. She went out with Viktor for longer than anyone but me, something I have great trouble understanding.
Right now, there’s a toxicity in this room that I cannot handle any longer.
It’s not healthy to make one man the focus of everyone’s energy, even if he is the big-deal captain of the hockey team.
And I’m distressed to find out that I’m still considered an outsider here, after everything I’ve done to be a part of the sorority.
Maybe I got pledged because of a loophole, but I’ve contributed as much as any freshman.
Um, I think I’m going to resign from Alpha Zeta Mu, I say quietly.
Oh, don’t be such a baby. You’re safe now that your protector is here. Angelica motions towards Mia. We’re not going to force you to break up with your one true love.
Look, I appreciate all of you so much. I don’t look at Angelica when I say this, but even she has contributed to the person I am now.
I’ve always longed for big sisters, and you’ve been like that to me.
Especially you, Mia. It’s been nice to feel a part of everything here, and everything that’s important on campus.
I take a deep breath of courage and then go on.
But I don’t feel like I really belong here.
And it didn’t take Angelica’s blunt statement to drive that home. I’m different in a sorority that doesn’t have a lot of room for difference. And while I look acceptable now, my personality still doesn’t fit. I question things that everyone else accepts.
Thanks for everything. I swiftly depart from the room, but I’m shaking. It’s the right thing to do, but I’ve also enjoyed many parts of sorority life.
Evie, wait, Mia intercepts me at the front door. You don’t have to quit Alpha Z just because of Angelica. She’s, like, the worst person here, and you don’t want her to win.
It’s not just because of Angelica. What kind of person would I be if I couldn’t stand up to a bully? But what she said reminded me of how I’ve been feeling. It’s like a lot of the things I do here are performative, and I’m not being myself.
I thought that was what you wanted, to grow and change, she replies.
But growth is upward, and here I feel like I’m changing for no good reason.
I hug Mia. Everything you’ve done for me has been wonderful.
I fit in at Monarch in a way that frees me to be more myself.
Oh, I meant to tell you—some of the girls at my residence have started mixing in vintage and velvet to their wardrobes. They call it an Evie look.
Mia beams like a proud mother hen. Look at you, being a trendsetter.
Yes, and none of that would have happened without you. Or, I strongly suspect, if I wasn’t dating Viktor. Male approval still garners cachet.
You seem very certain about leaving. For Mia, giving up Alpha Z would be huge, but I’m not yet embedded here.
I am, I reassure her.
Hey, can I ask…you’re not going to tell Vik about this whole thing now, are you?
I hadn’t even considered this. I wasn’t planning on it. Besides, we all signed that paper.
Yes, but clearly you don’t care about Greek life. Her cheeks heat. Look, the new guy I’m dating, he’s on the hockey team.
Really? Who?
Dylan Johansson. He’s really nice. Obviously, if he found out that I was involved in this thing, it wouldn’t be good news. In fact, I’m almost certain that he asked Viktor’s permission before he asked me out. She rolls her eyes. But it makes sense. Viktor’s all about team chemistry.
Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me, I reassure her.
Mia smiles. Thanks. I know you’re a stand-up person. And we’ll always be friends, right?
Of course. We hug once more, and then I finally go.
The cold air feels refreshing, and I take in a deep breath.
I have this stomach sensor. When I feel queasy or tense inside, I’m usually making a poor decision.
But when I’ve made the right choice, I feel no tension at all. And now my tummy is fine.
As I walk home, I feel a little dizzy yet triumphant. My college life so far has been a lot of trial and error. I set goals long before I got to Monarch, and now I’m finding that achieving them isn’t as wonderful as I expected.
Besides, Alpha Z took up a lot of my time.
Now I’ll be able to do other kinds of volunteer work.
There’s a mentorship group for foreign students, and I think I’d be good at that since I’m kind of a foreign student myself.
And maybe I could help at the writing centre, since I enjoy research and essays.
I don’t want to take Angelica’s opinion to heart, but there’s a grain of truth in so many things she said.
I don’t belong at Alpha Z, and I never will.
I’ve changed the way I look and I do the things I’m supposed to do, but I was performing a role there.
I could never fully relax or let my guard down.
I can’t say whatever silly or deep thoughts occur to me because that would highlight my differences.
It’s a contrast to the Crafty Club, where I can be my nerdy self.
And Angelica is also right about my relationship with Viktor.
I threw myself into the experience, knowing that it was going to end eventually.
But as we’ve grown closer—at least, I have—my needs have changed.
I want to know him more intimately. He hides his weaknesses and worries, but I want to be able to support him.
Maybe this will be the trigger that ends our relationship, but if I don’t ask for more, I’ll never get it.
When I pull out my phone to talk to Viktor, there’s already a message waiting.
How did your meeting go?
I smile. Viktor is too much of a gentleman to ask directly for sex, but there’s also a subtext to this message: if you’re done your meeting and want to meet up, then…
There’s nothing I’d like more, even if it might be our last time together. Because I’m going to ask for Viktor for more, and I have no idea what the consequences will be.
It went well. Can I come over now?