Chapter 11 Teddy
Teddy
The bed was warm and unfamiliar as I slowly roused from my sleep.
I’d been dreaming about something sexy, though I couldn’t quite remember the details.
They slipped away from me almost the moment I realized I was no longer sleeping.
However, the pleasant ache in my ass remained.
And there was something else there too, something I didn’t recognize.
I shifted slightly, feeling the hard warmth pressed between my cheeks.
With a jolt I realized it was a cock and suddenly my memories of the Halloween party the night before came flooding back to me.
I remembered sucking Neptune off at the fountain and him returning the favor.
I remembered dancing, our bodies pressed so close that we were practically inside one another.
And I remembered how I’d let him take my virginity, fucking me for the first time in his dorm room bed.
And that must’ve been where I was now.
I’d meant to merely rest for a few moments before leaving.
But as I cracked one eye open, I realized I’d slept there nearly the entire night and my heart began to race.
Outside the window I could just see the first hints of pinks before dawn.
My mask, somehow, was still magically attached to my face.
And Neptune’s soft snores told me he was still fast asleep.
I carefully tried to extract myself from his embrace, my heart pounding so loudly I was certain it would wake him.
His arm was draped possessively over my waist, his breathing deep and even against the nape of my neck.
As I shifted, his cock twitched against me, and I felt an answering throb in my own.
Gods, I wanted to stay. To wake him up with kisses and maybe experience another round of what we’d shared last night.
But panic was rapidly replacing desire as reality set in.
This wasn’t who I was supposed to be. Theodore Voss didn’t have wild nights with strangers.
Theodore Voss didn’t skip family obligations to go to parties.
Theodore Voss certainly didn’t let gorgeous redheaded men fuck him senseless.
My week off was only half over and already I’d strayed further from the path than I thought possible.
Yet here I was.
I managed to slide out from under his arm, freezing when he mumbled something and rolled onto his back. In the dim pre-dawn light, I got my first clear look at his sleeping face. The mask had shifted during the night, revealing more of his features than it had before.
My breath caught in my throat.
The red hair. Those high cheekbones. The slight shimmer to his skin that I’d noticed last night. It all clicked into place with sudden, horrifying clarity.
Neptune was the naked swimmer from the pool. The one I’d run away from weeks ago. The one I’d been fantasizing about ever since.
I stood there for a moment, paralyzed by indecision. Should I wake him? Tell him who I really was? The thought made my stomach twist with anxiety. What if he was disappointed? What if last night had only been magical because of the anonymity our masks provided?
No. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready to be Theodore again, to face the reality of who I was.
I wasn’t ashamed of what we’d done, but I knew it was going to make it harder to go back to normal now.
Just like he’d promised, I’d never forget this night.
But how could I go back to my old life with the taste of freedom still on my lips?
What choice did I really have though?
As quietly as possible, I gathered my clothes from where they’d been scattered across the floor. My jeans were tangled with his fishnet shirt, my shirt halfway under the bed. I dressed quickly, my fingers trembling as I buttoned my jeans.
With one last look at Neptune, at the mysterious swimmer whose real name I still didn’t know, and then I slipped toward the door.
His mask had fallen completely off now, resting on the pillow beside him.
The little flowers had bloomed fully, creating a crown of deep blue-purple blossoms that framed his sleeping face.
I hesitated, my hand on the doorknob. Should I leave something? A note? My own mask as a memento?
The thought of him waking to find my golden mask beside his felt right somehow. A small piece of me to remember this night by, even if he never learned who I really was. I carefully removed it, feeling the magic that had held it together begin to weaken. By sunrise, it would likely crumble.
I placed it gently on the pillow where my head had been, then slipped out the door before I could change my mind.
The hallway was mercifully empty as I made my barefoot escape, shoes clutched in one hand.
It wasn’t until I was outside, the cold morning air biting at my exposed face, that I realized I had no idea which dorm I’d just left.
In my punch-addled state last night, I hadn’t paid attention to where we were going.
Not that it mattered. What would I do with that information anyway? Show up at his door as Theodore Voss, uptight swimming second-placer and disappointment to his father? What would a guy like Neptune want with someone like that?
I hurried across the campus, keeping to the shadows as the sky gradually lightened.
My body ached pleasantly with every step, a physical reminder of everything that had happened.
For a brief, wild moment, I considered turning around, going back to that warm bed and the even warmer body it contained.
But I kept walking.
By the time I reached my own dorm, the first rays of sunlight were breaking over the horizon.
I snuck in quietly, knowing my absence wouldn’t have been noticed by anyone.
The room was exactly as I’d left it last night, my books still stacked neatly on my desk, my bed still perfectly made, and my homework waiting for me to return from my bender of freedom.
It felt like I was returning to someone else’s life after living as Theo for a night.
I stripped off my clothes and headed for the shower, needing to wash away the evidence of my adventure before anyone else was awake.
As the hot water cascaded over me, I replayed every moment of the night before.
The dancing, the kissing, the way Neptune had fucked me like he actually gave a shit about me.
For one perfect night, I’d been free. Free of expectations, free of my father’s disappointment, free of the crushing weight of being Theodore Voss.
And now it was over.
I rested my forehead against the cool tile of the shower wall, letting the water mix with the few tears that escaped despite my best efforts.
I wasn’t crying because I regretted what had happened.
I could never regret something that had felt so right.
I was crying because for the first time in my life, I’d glimpsed who I could be if I were brave enough to live.
And I wasn’t sure I had that kind of courage.
When I finally emerged from the shower, I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Without the mask, I was just me again. Except... I wasn’t. Something had changed. There was a new awareness in my eyes, a slight curve to my lips that hadn’t been there before.
One night had transformed me, and I couldn’t go back to who I was before.
As I dressed in my usual clothes, I made a decision. I might not be ready to be fully Theo all the time, but I couldn’t be the old Theodore anymore either. Somehow, I had to find a middle ground, a way to honor both parts of myself.
And maybe someday, when I was braver, I’d find out who that red-head was and kiss him again. Maybe, if I was lucky, I’d even be able to finally grow that backbone he’d accused me of lacking.
I glanced at my watch, realizing I still had several days of freedom ahead of me. No swimming, no parents, no expectations... just time to figure out who I was now. The old Theodore would have spent this time catching up on assignments or doing extra practice, but I wanted something different.
I gathered up my homework and those fantasy novels I’d been reading, stuffing them into my bag.
The library would be quiet this early, a perfect place to hide away and think.
Maybe I could even look for information about that mysterious swimmer, though I had no idea where to start.
All I knew was his appearance and that he was an art major who painted.
The campus was beginning to stir as I made my way to the library, other early risers heading to breakfast. Every step still carried that pleasant ache, a physical reminder of what I’d experienced.
My body felt different somehow. Used but in the best possible way.
I caught myself smiling at the memory and quickly schooled my features. Old habits died hard.
The library was nearly empty when I arrived, just a sleepy-looking witch at the front desk who barely glanced up as I entered. I found a secluded table near the art section, spreading out my books as a pretense while I tried to organize my thoughts.
What did I want now? That was the question that kept circling in my mind.
One taste of freedom, one night of passion, and suddenly everything I’d been working toward seemed hollow.
Swimming, grades, my father’s approval… none of it had made me feel the way Neptune’s touch had. None of it had made me feel alive.
But I couldn’t just abandon everything. My future was mapped out, expectations set. The Voss name came with responsibilities I couldn’t simply shrug off because I’d gotten laid.
“This is stupid,” I muttered to myself, earning a sharp look from a nearby student. “Sorry,” I whispered, ducking my head in embarrassment.
I opened one of my textbooks, trying to focus on the spellcraft diagrams, but my mind kept drifting back to Neptune. The way his hands had felt on my skin, his voice in my ear, the perfect weight of him pressing me into the mattress...
“Focus, Teddy,” I hissed, pinching the bridge of my nose.
Maybe if I knew who he really was, I could get some closure. Or maybe I’d discover he was someone I could actually see again. The thought sent a thrill of both excitement and terror through me.
I abandoned my textbook and moved to the art section, scanning the shelves for anything that might help. Student exhibitions, faculty profiles, anything that might mention a talented redheaded painter.
After an hour of searching, I’d found nothing useful. The academy had too many talented artists to narrow it down without more information. I was about to give up when I noticed a flyer pinned to a bulletin board near the art books.
JUNIOR ART EXHIBITION THIS FRIDAY - BURROW GALLERY FEATURING WORKS BY WIDDERSHINS’ MOST PROMISING TALENTS
It wasn’t much, but it was something. If Neptune was as talented as he seemed confident, he might have work in the show. At the very least, I could browse the exhibition and maybe he’d be there?
I carefully wrote down the details, tucking the note into my pocket. Friday. That gave me a whole week to work up the courage to go. A week to decide if I really wanted to know who Neptune was outside of our magical night together. Or if he wanted to know me.
I returned to my table and tried once more to focus on my homework, but it was hopeless. My mind was too full of possibilities, of what-ifs that I’d never allowed myself to consider before. What if I could have more nights like last night? What if there was more to life than making my father proud?
What if I could actually be happy?
I packed up my books, abandoning any pretense of studying. The crisp autumn air hit me as I stepped outside, and I took a deep breath, letting it fill my lungs. For the first time in years, I felt like I could breathe properly. Like some invisible weight had been lifted from my chest.
Whatever happened next, whether I found Neptune again or not, I knew one thing for certain. I couldn’t go back to being the old Theodore. That version of me had died last night, somewhere between our first kiss and the moment I’d felt him inside me.
I just had to figure out who I was now, and how much of Theo I could keep in my everyday life.