Chapter 17
Nerion
Istood outside the admin building feeling more than a little nervous.
Going to the Dean’s office was never a good thing.
Since I’d enrolled at Widdershins, I’d been there a grand total of three times.
One was to welcome me to the academy and lay down some rules about what I was allowed to do there.
The other two were because of accidents like the one that landed me here now.
Even so, I could already feel the urge to sing returning to me.
Usually I could push it away for months at a time, then run back to the ocean for a couple of weeks during the summer to let it all out.
But now that things with Teddy were getting hotter, the need to sing was coming back.
And that was something I’d never felt with one of my hookups before.
Actually, Teddy was making me feel a lot of things I’d never felt before.
It was like my own heart and heritage were trying to sabotage me.
I took a deep breath, shaking my head. That was a problem for another time.
Today I just had to convince the Dean that I wasn’t some monster trying to eat the students or just a general hellion trying to stir up trouble.
Putting on a neutral expression, I stepped through the doors into the admin building.
The admin building was quiet, with only the soft ticking of an antique clock breaking the silence.
I made my way down the polished hallway toward the Dean’s office, my footsteps echoing against the marble floor.
The portraits of former Dean’s watched me pass, their painted eyes seeming to follow my every move with silent judgment.
When I reached the heavy oak door with “Dean Thornfield” emblazoned on the frosted glass panel, I hesitated.
My fingers drummed nervously against my thigh.
I wasn’t afraid of punishment. I’d faced worse than whatever the academy could dish out.
But I was afraid of being asked to leave.
Despite everything, I’d come to think of Widdershins Academy as my home for the moment.
Although, I guess I only had a year and a half left.
Maybe it was time to start thinking about what home actually was after my art degree was done.
Taking one more steadying breath, I knocked.
“Enter,” came the Dean’s measured voice from within.
I pushed open the door to find Dean Thornfield seated behind his massive desk covered in paperwork and little trinkets. Behind him were several dark wood shelves filled with spellbooks and all manner of magical items.
“Ah, Mr. Thalassos,” he said with a smile. “Please, take a seat.”
I slipped into the chair across from him, trying to appear more relaxed than I felt. The leather creaked beneath me as I settled in.
“Thank you for coming in at last,” Dean Thornfield said, giving me a knowing grin. “I’m glad I ran into you at the art show, or else we might never have had this conversation.”
“I’m sorry about that,” I said, meeting his gaze directly. There was no point in playing dumb. “To be honest, I just didn’t want to do this again.”
The Dean nodded, his expression remaining neutral. “Mr. Jackson has recovered without issue, thankfully. Though he’s quite confused about what happened.”
“I didn’t mean to...” I started, then paused, reconsidering my words. “I shouldn’t have sung. It was careless of me. But I’ve used the soundproof rooms in the music building before when I can’t… resist it any longer.”
Dean Thornfield studied me for a long moment. The clock on his wall ticked loudly in the silence. I’d always heard he was fair but stern, and right now I was hoping the “fair” part would win out.
“You know, Mr. Thalassos, when we accepted you at Widdershins, it was with the understanding that you would exercise extreme caution regarding your... natural abilities.” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but there was a firmness to it that made my stomach tighten.
“I know, sir. It was an accident. Those rooms have always worked until now.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Sometimes the need builds up and becomes hard to contain.”
“Like pressure in a valve,” he offered, surprising me with his understanding.
“Exactly like that,” I said, leaning forward slightly.
“I try to keep it under control, but if I don’t get it out, I’ll start humming under my breath or I’ll catch a tune somewhere and start singing along without realizing it.
I’m not doing it to hurt anyone. It’s just… It feels like I’ll explode if I don’t.”
The Dean nodded thoughtfully. “You know, I’m not unaware of how those kinds of urges can feel. Although I’ve never felt them myself as a witch, my husband has similar issues.”
“Husband?” I asked, genuinely surprised by the information.
“Yes. Coach Flannery,” he said. “Though I’d appreciate if you kept that information between us. We’ve come a long way in the past couple of years since the issues with the Purity Front, but we’re not quite ready to go public with that just yet.”
“Of course,” I nodded emphatically. “I won’t tell anyone.”
“Thank you.” He leaned back in his seat, lacing his fingers together.
“So I understand what werewolves need to shift, that vampires need to feed, and that all of our students here come with their own set of special needs depending on their background.” He glanced up at me, his brow furrowed.
“You come with a unique set of challenges. And so far I’ve asked you to try to deny what you are. For that, I apologize.”
I just stared at him. I thought I was going to get in trouble, not receive an apology.
“It’s okay,” I said, unsure of how to respond. “I understand that I’m… dangerous.”
“Everyone at this school is dangerous,” he replied.
“So that shouldn’t be an issue.” He leaned forward now, his gaze intense.
“Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to call in a specialist to make sure one of those rooms is actually soundproof.
And we’re going to make sure it’s available to you at any time.
If there are more incidents, I would like you to do the same thing you did with Mr. Jackson.
Get them to the infirmary immediately for treatment so the song can’t settle in. Does that seem fair to you?”
“Yes, sir,” I nodded. “More than fair.”
“Good.” Dean Thornfield reached across his desk, grabbing a piece of paper. “Now tell me about this Mr. Voss that I saw you with at the exhibition. There’s clearly something between you two.”
My mouth fell open, my jaw working for a moment before I found my voice. “W-We’re just friends,” I said at last.
“Just friends,” he repeated. “Is that why you two were meeting in the pool at midnight?” He glanced at his sheet of paper. “For nearly two hours?”
“We… uh…” Now I felt like I was actually going to get in trouble for real. “We like to swim.”
“Uh-huh.” The Dean gave me a knowing smile. “I might be older than you, but I’m not senile.”
“We really are just friends,” I said, doubling down. “With… benefits.”
“Is that all?”
I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“If you and Mr. Voss are involved, I have no issues with it,” he said. “But has he heard you sing? Even by accident?”
“No,” I said quickly, maybe too quickly. “He’s never heard me sing. I’ve been extremely careful about that. And I plan to keep it that way.”
The Dean leaned back in his chair, studying me with an intensity that made me shift uncomfortably. “Good. Because I need to be very clear about something, Mr. Thalassos. While I understand your... unique situation, I cannot allow any student to be enchanted against their will.”
“I would never—” I started, but he held up a hand.
“I know you wouldn’t intentionally harm another student. But accidents happen, as we’ve seen with Mr. Jackson. I need your solemn word that you will exercise the utmost caution around Mr. Voss.”
I nodded firmly. “You have my word, sir. I promise.”
“Excellent.” Dean Thornfield’s expression softened slightly. “I’m not trying to interfere in your personal affairs, but I do have a responsibility to protect all my students. Even from each other when necessary.”
“I understand completely,” I said, meaning it. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally enchant Teddy. The thought of him looking at me with that vacant, adoring expression I’d seen on others under my spell made my stomach turn.
“There’s one more thing,” the Dean said, his tone becoming more serious. “I’m aware of the... particular curse that affects your kind.”
My breath caught in my throat. How did he know about that? Very few people outside of siren communities understood the full extent of our curse.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I lied, trying to keep my voice steady.
“Mr. Thalassos,” he said gently, “this is a magical college. We make it our business to understand the nature of all magical beings who attend. The curse of your kind is well-documented in our library. Usually our aquatic students are ordinary merfolk, but you required us to crack open a few of our more dusty books.”
I swallowed hard. “Then you understand why it’s just... benefits with Teddy. Nothing more. It can’t be anymore more.”
“I do.” He nodded solemnly. “And I respect your caution. But I also want you to know that running from connection isn’t always the answer. Your professors speak highly of you, though they mention you’re quite the loner. I imagine that can be difficult.”
“With all due respect, sir,” I said, my voice tight, “you haven’t spent your life knowing that loving someone could literally be the death of you. I have to be alone. I won’t end up like my parents.”
The Dean’s eyes softened with something like sympathy. “You’re right. I haven’t lived a life like yours. But I have spent many years hiding who I truly am and who I love. It’s no way to live, Mr. Thalassos. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. We sat in silence for a moment, the ticking of the clock suddenly loud again.
“Well,” he said finally, “I believe we’ve covered everything. The specialist will be here next week to examine the music rooms. In the meantime, please be careful.”
“I will,” I promised, rising from my chair. As I reached the door, the Dean called out once more.
“Mr. Thalassos?”
I turned back. “Yes, sir?”
“Sometimes the things we fear most are also the things most worth pursuing.” His eyes held mine for a moment longer. “Just something to consider.”
I nodded awkwardly and left, closing the door behind me. The hallway seemed cooler after the warmth of the office, and I took a deep breath, trying to process everything that had just happened.
The Dean’s words echoed in my mind as I made my way out of the admin building. Sometimes the things we fear most are also the things most worth pursuing.
Easy for him to say. His relationship might be hidden, but loving his husband wouldn’t turn him into seafoam if his husband suddenly decided he didn’t love him anymore.
As I stepped outside into the crisp autumn air, I spotted a familiar figure sitting on a bench across the quad. Teddy was hunched over a textbook, his blond hair catching the sunlight. My heart did that stupid little flip it had started doing lately whenever I saw him.
And that was exactly the problem. This thing with Teddy was supposed to be simple. Just sex. Just release. But even after just a couple of hookups, I’d started feeling a pressure building inside me. It wasn’t just the need to sing, but something else. Something far more dangerous.
I turned away before he could spot me. I needed to get a grip. Friends with benefits. Nothing more. It was the only way to ensure I wouldn’t end up as just another bit of foam on the waves.
But as I walked away, I couldn’t help wondering if the Dean might be right. Was I missing out on something worth the risk? The thought lingered, unwelcome but persistent, like a melody I couldn’t quite shake.
Maybe I was finally beginning to understand what it was like to be under a siren’s spell.