Chapter 25
Michael sipped his drink, staring at his desk without really seeing it.
A knock on the door made him flinch.
It was his mother.
“Can I come in, darling?” she said, her gaze flicking to the bottle in his hand. “Unless this is a bad time?”
Michael shrugged. Some distraction would probably do him good. He was thoroughly sick of his own thoughts.
His mother took the seat across his desk and studied him with those dark, all-knowing eyes. What was it about mothers that made one feel like a child, no matter how old one was?
“I wanted to ask if you happened to have chosen an omega to court, but judging by your mood, the answer is no,” she said, her tone dry.
Michael suppressed a sigh. He opened his mouth to tell her his usual excuses but found himself unable to say anything. Unable to lie.
Fuck, he was so sick of this.
Why should he be forced to do something he didn’t want to do? Even marrying an omega who preferred omegas, as Hugh had suggested, didn’t feel right to him. He wasn’t attracted to omegas anymore. The mere thought of having sex with one made him feel queasy, as if it was something incestuous.
He wanted his alpha.
“What if...” Michael swallowed. “What if I’m not what you thought I was? What if I’m not the son you birthed?”
She blinked slowly, looking bewildered. “What do you mean, Michael? Of course you’re my son.
It’s natural for people to change as they grow and become adults.
You’re still my son.” She paused. “Unless you’re saying you don’t feel like a man?
That would be fine, too, obviously. Plenty of alphas change their genders from male to female. ”
She was so close and yet so far off.
Changing his gender really wouldn’t make people blink.
It happened often enough. Most female alphas in society were actually transgender.
Born female alphas were very rare—the alpha gene usually manifested in those who were physically strongest, and males tended to be physically stronger in their species.
Changing his gender wouldn’t have been a problem. But changing one’s designation was unheard of. Unfathomable.
“I’m a man,” Michael said curtly. “That isn’t the issue.”
His mother was frowning, looking lost. “Then what is the issue, darling?”
It said a lot that she didn’t even consider it as a possibility.
People just didn’t switch their designations.
It was largely believed to be impossible.
Even people who were into alpha bitching porn didn’t actually believe it could happen.
Maybe it really couldn’t have happened without the alien toxin and all the stars aligning.
For all he knew, his case might be one in a million.
It wasn’t a comforting thought. It was a daunting one.
It could have been easier had he not been such a high-profile figure in Pelugian society.
There were only twelve people who had a higher rank in the kingdom than he did.
He’d always been in the spotlight as one of the most eligible alphas in the country.
If people found out he had suddenly become an omega. ..
Michael grimaced on the inside.
He couldn’t believe he was even considering it.
But Anthony’s words had caught on something inside him and refused to let go. They made him yearn.
We wouldn’t have to hide anymore. We could live together, see each other all the time without people side-eyeing our unusual closeness. I could bite you, I could put my mark on you, I could breed you.
It shouldn’t have been so appealing, but it was. Even the breeding part, to Michael’s mortification.
The question was, what was worse: living a lie or living in shame?
His options fucking sucked either way, but only one of them would make him happy. Only one of them would make Ant his. Sooner or later, Anthony would have to take a mate to continue his line. The mere thought of him mating another omega caused a nauseating, acidic feeling in his stomach.
Another omega.
It seemed he really considered himself an omega.
Anthony had been right about it. He was right that Michael didn’t actually want to be an alpha.
He felt more settled in his skin as he was now, his instincts nowhere near as annoying as they used to be.
He’d never liked the aggression he felt around other alphas, the constant need to one-up them.
Omega instincts were mellower, more laid back, which suited his personality more.
It still didn’t make this conversation any easier.
Michael drew in a deep breath. If he couldn’t tell the truth to his mother, the person who was supposed to love him unconditionally, he wouldn’t be able to tell it to anyone.
“I’m not an alpha anymore,” Michael said, his voice sounding like sandpaper.
He couldn’t look her in the eye. “I was exposed to an alien toxin while I was offworld. It changed me. It changed my body chemistry enough to shift my designation to omega.” That sounded a lot better than confessing that Anthony’s cock had turned him into an omega.
Silence fell over the room.
Michael chewed the inside of his cheek, dread twisting his gut into tight, trembling knots.
He expected disbelief. He expected questions.
But his mother surprised him when she finally spoke.
“Ah,” she said faintly. “That explains a lot.”
Michael’s gaze snapped to her face. “What?”
Her lips were pursed as she eyed him thoughtfully. “I have noticed that you’ve been acting differently since you returned from that trip. Your scent started softening. It was a subtle, gradual thing, but I’m your mother. I know your scent better than anyone. I knew something had changed.”
“You didn’t say anything,” he said hoarsely.
“It clearly troubled you—you became twitchy when I mentioned your changed scent—so I pretended to be oblivious.” Her dark eyes were soft. “I was waiting for you to speak about it when you felt ready, though I obviously didn’t imagine the extent of it. Is... Is the change permanent?”
Michael could only nod, unable to speak. His throat felt tight, his tongue too big. Was she disappointed? Unsettled? Disgusted?
“Don’t be silly, darling,” she said, as though reading his thoughts.
“Of course I’m not disappointed. I could never be disappointed in you.
” She smiled wryly. “It will take some getting used to, I admit, but I’m nothing if not adaptable.
And I suppose it’s a good thing most of the Terlaine fortune is not entailed to alphas—I’d hate to depend on the charity of your cousin Jerome. ”
A harsh laugh left Michael’s throat. “Nice priorities, Mother.”
She smiled, but she couldn’t hide the concern in her eyes. “People will not be kind when they find out,” she said quietly. “I take it you’re not going to hide it?”
Michael shook his head. “I thought of hiding it, but it doesn’t feel right. I can’t live a lie all my life.”
She nodded, her lips pursed in thought. Her expression became shrewd, penetrating. “And it’s the only reason you want to reveal the truth?”
Licking his dry lips, Michael hesitated. “Not the only reason. I want to—I want...”
“You want Anthony Blake,” she said. At Michael’s stunned silence, she laughed a little. “Did you really think I had no idea what was going on in my own house? He’s always here these days, Michael. And you always reek of him.”
Michael flushed. “You didn’t say anything,” he said, though he’d seen her look at them oddly sometimes.
“Darling,” she said with a pinched expression. “Alpha-alpha sexual relationships are hardly spoken about in polite company. I was willing to turn a blind eye, as long as you married and continued the line. But that duty will now fall to Jerome.”
Right. Jerome would be the Earl of Terlaine, since the title was entailed to alphas.
The thought didn’t make Michael feel much of anything.
The title had always been more of a burden to him.
His financial position wouldn’t change significantly—he would lose the portion of the estate entailed to the title, but most of the properties and businesses would remain his.
“Are you...” His mother seemed to hesitate, her expression uncomfortable. “Can you even have children like this?”
Michael’s face felt on fire. “My doctor said my biology isn’t any different from born omegas,” he said stiffly, unable to look her in the eye. He felt completely comfortable with the thought of being bred during the act of sex, but when he was away from Anthony, it was… definitely weird.
“I see,” she said, and smiled. “I’m glad.”
Right. This was the most uncomfortable conversation of his life, and Michael wanted it over yesterday.
“Right,” he said, clearing his throat a little.
“So, has Anthony confessed his feelings for you?”
Michael found himself blinking at her, unsure what to say. Anthony’s words had strongly implied that, but it hadn’t exactly been a love confession.
“Sort of.”
“Sort of?” his mother said incredulously before narrowing her eyes. “Well, that’s completely unacceptable. That won’t do.”
“Mother—”
“No, darling,” she said. “Since you were an alpha all your life, you simply don’t understand that you can’t allow an alpha to take you for granted. He should be begging for the privilege of courting you, not making half-hearted ‘sort-of’ proposals.”
Michael laughed. “Sorry, but no. I’m not going to play hard to get when I know exactly what I want. Maybe it’s not a very omega-like behavior, but I’m not going to change the way I act just because my designation is different now.”
His mother sighed, but she was smiling. Rounding his desk, she leaned in and hugged him gently. “Anthony is a very lucky man. I’m very proud of you. You’re being very brave.”
Michael smiled wryly. “Mostly I’m just being selfish. I want him too much to give him up.”
“That takes bravery too,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “Giving your heart to someone is always scary.”
Michael’s breath caught in his throat. He opened his mouth to deny that, but he found that he couldn’t.
It was true. And it was scary.
He couldn’t shake the underlying fear that he was just a passing fancy to Ant, that Anthony didn’t actually see him as mate material.
There was also an underlying fear that Anthony didn’t actually see him as a real omega, that Michael was lacking in some way compared to born omegas.
It was ridiculous, because at the same time he was scared that Anthony saw him as lesser now that he wasn’t an alpha any longer.
He was made of fears now, some of them clashing, all of them exhausting.
There was understanding in his mother’s eyes as she kissed him on the forehead. “You’re a catch, whether you’re an alpha or an omega: beautiful, smart, kind. Never doubt yourself.” She smiled mischievously. “I bet we’ll be beating suitors off with sticks once people find out you’re an omega.”
Michael snorted. “I doubt it.”
“I don’t,” she said with a smile. “For years, you’ve been one of the top dogs, the main competition for other alphas.
They resented you for your looks and wealth, they admired you, and they envied you.
The moment they find out they can suddenly have you.
..” She smiled. “Anthony will have to do much better than a ‘sort-of’ confession if he wants you to be his mate.”
Michael’s stomach clenched. He couldn’t deny there was a certain appeal in that, in being chased by Anthony and making him suffer with jealousy. Ant had always been too confident, too certain of his appeal. He’d never had to lift a finger to earn anyone’s favor.
“I don’t know,” he said, his face warm as he imagined Anthony on his knees in front of him, blue eyes fixed on him hungrily as he begged Michael for the privilege of having him.
“You’ll see,” his mother said confidently.