19. Dorian - August
NINETEEN
Dorian - August
INVISIBLE STRING - TAYLOR SWIFT
The bell above the wooden door creaked as I stepped into The Pine Ridge Lodge, and nostalgia washed over me. The rustic charm was exactly how I remembered it—log beams overhead, a crackling stone fireplace in the corner.
The walls were filled with framed pictures of locals, each one adding to The Lodge’s sense of history. It felt like stepping back in time.
I glanced around, nodding at a couple of familiar faces tucked into the corner booths. Woodstone had always been a place where everyone knew everyone, and The Pine Ridge Lodge was one of the places at the heart of it all.
Friday nights here were about as lively as it got—families gathering after football games, locals grabbing dinner after a long day, the kind of crowd that felt like home.
Every now and then, my dad would forego cooking, and we’d get takeout for Sunday family dinner instead. With school starting soon, it seemed like the perfect time to do so.
“You ever think about how long this place has been here?” Sawyer asked, glancing around as we approached the counter.
Colt shook his head. “No.”
I let out a laugh. “Look, Sawyer.” I pointed to his picture on display. “You need to update this. That thing’s got to be over ten years old.”
He shifted his gaze to the picture. “Yup, that was my rookie year in the NFL. Damn, I miss those days.”
“What, when you weren’t old as fuck?” Colt said, deadpan.
“No, back when I had good knees,” Sawyer shot back.
“Tough getting old, huh?” I smirked.
Sawyer gave me a knowing look. “You’re right behind me, brother.”
“Yeah, but I’m not getting tackled for a living, so I’ll be alright,” I replied.
Colt stifled a grin, glancing at Sawyer. “Once you hit mid-thirties, it’s all downhill, regardless.”
We reached the counter, where Mary Whitmore, one of the owners, greeted us with a wide smile. “Your order’s almost ready, boys,” she said, her tone warm and familiar.
“How’s your mare holding up?” I asked, thinking back to the last time I’d been at their farm to see she was recovering nicely.
“She’s doing great. Thanks for askin’,” she said, smiling up at me.
“Glad to hear it.”
“Oh, the golden boy vet, are ya? Hey, Mary, did you know my team is predicted to go to the Super Bowl this year?” Sawyer smiled, teasingly taking over the moment.
“I’ll be watching. Although I did see that sack in the last game. Isn’t it your job as a lineman to protect your quarterback?” she teased him right back, putting him in his place.
“I wasn’t on my game that day. Give me some slack. It’s still preseason.”
“Super Bowl winners don’t get slack,” she replied, the corners of her mouth lifting.
Colt let out a low laugh. “She’s got you there.”
She handed over two brown paper bags filled to the brim with food. “Tell your dad I said hello, and if you ever need help with that little girl of yours, don’t hesitate to ask.”
“Thanks, Mary,” I said as Sawyer accepted the bags.
We headed to the truck, and I slid into the passenger seat.
“Let’s get home before Gracie convinces Dad to have ice cream for dinner.”
Colt started the engine, and we headed back toward the ranch. The lights from The Lodge faded into the distance as we drove along the winding country road.
Stepping into the ranch house always hits me in the gut. Some of my fondest memories lived in every corner of this place. Sleepovers in the living room with Trent and Dotty, the three of us fighting over couch space, whispering and laughing until we finally passed out. Nights spent with my brothers, glued to video games until our eyes burned, laughing so hard our stomachs hurt.
And my mom—her voice echoing from the kitchen as she made pancakes every Sunday, Dad’s old records spinning in the background.
It was all still here, lingering in the walls, reminding me of the life we once had. A life that changed overnight when she passed. Yet somehow this house managed to mold itself into something new over the years.
The ranch house would always embody her—more than anyone of us could. Even though I’d spent more time in it without her than with her, she was still woven into every piece of it. The ranch was a reflection of her love.
But there were other memories here too—faint, fleeting ones of Hallie.
She’d been part of this space, but not quite like my mom had. I was in my early twenties when Gracie came along, and it all happened so fast—Hallie’s high-risk pregnancy, the whirlwind of trying to figure out how to be a dad while still feeling like a kid myself, then losing Hallie so quickly during Gracie’s birth.
She gave me Gracie, and for that, I’d be forever grateful. But if I was being honest, I was never in love with Hallie the way people might expect. We weren’t destined to be soulmates, bound together by some grand love story. She was sweet, kind, and would have been a great mother, but what we had was more… circumstance than fate.
Losing Hallie stung, but my world didn’t shatter. It shifted. It reorganized itself around Gracie.
Initially, I didn’t know how to feel, but I knew I had to care for my daughter.
There was a part of me that once imagined a life with a wife, our kids growing up together, telling stories about how disgustingly in love their parents were.
But Gracie was the one thing I never knew I needed. I was handed this fragile, perfect little girl, and in that moment, she filled every gap.
Now, I didn’t want more than my quiet life with her. I didn’t get attached in relationships because I didn’t need to. I didn’t want to.
At least, until recently.
But the hardest part wasn’t the grief. It was knowing that my daughter would grow up without a mother, just like I did.
Hallie’s loss was part of our story, and I always made sure Gracie knew about her mom. We’d talk about how much Hallie loved her, though the meaning of those words only really started to click for her recently.
When she started school, she noticed other kids had moms and dads, while she only had me. But we’ve made it work. Gracie has her village, a small army of people in her corner, even if she doesn’t have a mom.
The ranch house wasn’t filled with memories of Hallie the way it was with my mother, but sometimes, I could still hear her in Gracie’s laughter echoing down the halls. Or catch a glimpse of her in Gracie’s bright, expressive eyes—so much like Hallie’s—as she climbed onto a step stool to carefully place the star on top of the Christmas tree.
I let out a slow breath, pushing those thoughts aside. Because no matter how much changed over the years, this place, and the people in it, were still my home.
Dad was setting out all the takeout food like it was any other dinner, but the house felt fuller tonight—maybe because Sawyer was home for the week or because Noah was here.
Sawyer was already at the head of the table, his arm loosely draped around Gracie, who was practically climbing into his lap.
The girl loved her uncles.
Colt sat to the right of him, leaned back in his chair, looking entirely too smug as he watched Sawyer try to wrangle her. I stood and watched the whole scene unfold, taking in how many people loved my daughter.
“Dang, he comes back, and you forget all about me, huh, G?” I said, crossing my arms.
Sawyer grinned like the cocky jerk he was. “She’s more interested in my stories than your dad jokes. Right, Gracie?”
Gracie giggled, looking up at Sawyer with wide eyes. “Daddy, did you know Uncle Sawyer’s the fastest runner in the whole world?”
Colt let out a low laugh from across the table. “Fast? Didn’t you trip up the steps outside walking in?”
Sawyer shot him a glare. “That has nothing to do with speed, brother.”
“Yeah, you’re just clumsy and slow,” Dotty cut in, smirking as she took a seat next to Noah.
Noah laughed beside her, nudging Dotty. “I was expecting a peaceful dinner again tonight, but this is already exceeding my expectations in the best way.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at that, moving to grab the pitcher of iced tea from the counter.
“You know, your mom used to always call the four of you the chaos crew,” my dad chimed in.
“Can I be the new chaos crew?” Gracie asked.
“Well, there is only one of you, but I do think you cause enough chaos for four kids.” I chuckled.
Gracie wiggled in Sawyer’s lap and then turned her attention to Noah. “Noah, is Uncle Sawyer faster than Daddy?”
Noah’s smile grew as she looked at me. There was something about the way her eyes lingered, weighing her next words, but she quickly turned her attention back to Gracie.
“Well, your daddy’s got the brains. Uncle Sawyer has the… speed.”
I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. “Brains,” I echoed. “Glad someone around here appreciates intelligence.”
Colt, ever the smartass, muttered, “Someone has to. The rest of you are rather questionable.”
Gracie’s head swung back toward Dotty. “What about Aunt Dotty?”
Dotty didn’t miss a beat, puffing her chest out in mock pride. “Oh, I’ve got the whole package. Brains, speed, and charm.”
Trent looked at his fiancée, the dumb fuck, too smitten for his own good. “I’d agree with that,” he said.
Sawyer let out a loud laugh, tossing a crumpled napkin in her direction.
“Charm? Says the girl who put gum in some kid’s hair in elementary school.”
Dotty rolled her eyes, grabbing the napkin and tossing it back. “That was warranted.”
“Sure,” Colt added, chuckling.
Noah leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, grinning.
Gracie glanced up at me, her face full of innocent curiosity. “Daddy, would you put gum in someone’s hair?”
I laughed, shaking my head. “No, I leave that to your Aunt Dotty. That’s her specialty. Like she said, she’s the whole package,” I said sarcastically. Dotty shot me a look that was half amused, half defensive, and I couldn’t help but smirk.
“Finally, some respect,” Dotty said, bowing dramatically, reaching for a bread roll.
My dad, who’d been watching all of us from his spot at the end of the table, finally spoke up. “If you’re all done bickering like children, we should eat before the food gets cold.”
“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Sawyer said, already reaching for takeout containers.
The conversation moved on as we all started to eat. Gracie, still sitting close to Sawyer, began talking about lessons with Noah, her new drawings, and everything that was currently occupying her six-year-old world.
She beamed up at Noah every time she chimed in with encouragement, like her approval was the most important thing in the room.
“So, Sawyer,” Dotty said, leaning back in her chair. “Any big games coming up?”
Sawyer groaned dramatically. “Yeah, preseason’s started, so we are getting back into the swing of things.”
“Uncle Sawyer, can I come to one of your games?”
Sawyer grinned. “Of course, kiddo. But…” he paused, giving me an apologetic look. “What if I could do you one better?”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You know, I know some really important people who happened to give me tickets to Ellie Miles’s tour.”
Here we fucking go.
“And if it’s okay with your dad, we can all go. It’s right after Dotty’s wedding.”
I groaned.
“Wait, what about me? I thought I was getting married too?” Trent teased.
Noah, sitting quietly beside Dotty, smiled through most of the conversation, occasionally glancing my way.
I could sense her gaze on me, but I didn’t meet it. Not yet.
Instead, I focused on Gracie, still perched in Sawyer’s lap, firing off questions about the concert.
Gracie turned to Noah, tugging at her sleeve. “Noah, will you come see Ellie Miles with us?”
Noah smiled, though there was hesitation there. “Oh, I don’t know about that, Gracie. I bet your uncle only got enough tickets for your family.”
Sawyer’s grin stretched wide, smug as ever. “Actually, I have a whole suite. Perks of the job.”
Gracie’s eyes lit up. “See! You and Aunt Dotty can come, and we can have so much fun!” she squealed.
Dotty laughed. “You know I’m not missing it,” she said, a playful smile on her lips.
“Where’s the concert?” I asked.
“San Francisco. Vista Stadium,” Sawyer replied, clearly pleased with himself.
The last thing I wanted was to travel, stay in a foreign city, and go to a pop concert.
But I’d do it for G.
Trent gave him a suspicious look. “Why do you look so damn happy about this?”
Across the table, Colt didn’t miss a beat. “Because he’s got a crush on Ellie Miles.”
Sawyer flushed red, running a hand over his buzzed head. “I do not.”
“Oh shit, you totally do.” Dotty burst out laughing.
“She’s just really cool, okay?” Sawyer shot back defensively. “She donates to good causes, she’s great with her fans, and she’s got a solid vibe. That’s it. Leave me alone.”
Gracie leaned forward and started singing, “Sawyer and Ellie, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-X-X-I-N-P!”
We all erupted in laughter as my dad shook his head. “That’s not how you spell kissing, G.”
Gracie huffed, crossing her arms. “You know I’m not very good at spelling! I’m working on it. Right, Noah?”
Noah looked at my daughter with so much love, my heart threatened to bottom out. “You are, and you are doing so well, G.”
Well, I wanted to stay away from this girl, but then she went and called my girl by her nickname.
Fuck.
“We can all drive and make a fun weekend out of it,” Sawyer said, grinning.
“You can count me out,” Colt replied, not even looking up from his plate.
“Me too,” my dad and Trent said in unison.
“You couldn’t pay me to go to that shit,” Colt added.
“Colton!” my dad scolded, though the corner of his mouth twitched.
Sawyer tossed a crumpled napkin at him this time, which sent Gracie and Noah into a fit of giggles.
The noise, the laughter, the teasing—it all swirled around the table.
I glanced at Noah again, catching her smile. And this time, I held her gaze.
She fit here so effortlessly, like she’d always been part of this. And maybe that was what scared me the most.