25. Noah - August
TWENTY-FIVE
Noah - August
SAFE & SOUND - TAYLOR SWIFT, THE CIVIL WARS
“Dorian,” Colt’s voice cut through the room, urgent and breathless, shattering the fragile moment like a pane of glass.
I jerked back, but Dorian held my neck, not letting me retreat.
Colt didn’t even register the scene he’d walked in on as he held up his phone and then finally looked at us. Walker stirred for a moment, then settled back down.
“Figured you’d be here,” he said to me.
“Why the fuck are you barging into my house late at night, you jackass?” Dorian exhaled and released me, standing and stepping toward Colt. My skin still burned where he had touched me, my heart pounding as if it hadn’t caught up to reality yet.
Colt paused, giving me a sympathetic glance. “It’s John…”
My stomach dropped, a sour taste rising in my throat as every nerve in my body snapped to attention. I pushed myself to my feet.
“What?” Dorian’s tone was sharp, the heat in his gaze replaced with a cold, hard edge as he focused on Colt.
Colt stepped closer, handing his phone to Dorian. I leaned over to catch a glimpse of the screen. I stared at the headline, my stomach twisting tighter with every word. The headline flashed in bold letters.
Another Marketplace Murderer Victim Found in Arizona.
My chest constricted as I scanned the article. Beside me, Dorian’s posture went rigid, his eyes narrowing on the screen.
The heat of the moment evaporated, replaced by something much colder.
“How the hell is he still doing this?” Dorian’s tone was laced with frustration.
“He’s always one step ahead,” Colt replied, running a hand over his hair that was tied back. The calm, composed exterior he usually wore was cracking. “Lilah called me before the news broke.”
My mind raced as I handed the phone back to Colt. “There’s something new with this victim,” he said, pausing and glancing at me.
“What is it?” I asked as unease crawled up my spine.
Dorian cleared his throat. Colt turned to him, then nodded. “First the earrings, then the nails… now it’s rings.”
“Two of them?” I asked.
“Yeah. Two rings.” Colt looked down at my hand, where the two rings I always wore caught what little light there was, their shine stark in the dim room.
Four. Three. Two.
“It’s a countdown,” I said.
“Seems that way,” Colt replied.
Dorian blinked rapidly, as if trying to put the pieces together. “A countdown?”
Dorian turned toward me, his eyes gentle, sorrowful. “Four earrings, three fingernails, two rings,” I said.
“Exactly,” Colt added.
My stomach churned, and bile rose in my throat, though I fought to swallow it down. Dorian’s arm wrapped around my waist, his touch comforting. I let myself melt into him, drawing on his unfaltering stability.
“A countdown to what, though?” Dorian asked.
“I don’t know. Lilah can only get so much information and of that, she only gives me pieces.” He sighed. “I just… I needed you to know. You need to be careful.”
I knew my relationship with John had been unraveling before he even disappeared. We were growing apart, but I hadn’t expected this to be the reason why.
I had, at the very least, believed he was a good person. And despite all the hours I’d spent trying to make sense of it, I still couldn’t reconcile the man I knew with the monster he turned out to be.
Colt’s voice snapped me back to the present. “You okay?” he asked me. I blinked, forcing myself to stand straighter.
“I’m fine,” I lied.
I wasn’t fine, not even close, but I couldn’t fall apart.
“This is more than taunting. He’s trying to break her,” Dorian said.
I turned to him, my throat tight. He wasn’t wrong. John wasn’t playing games anymore. He was pushing me closer to the edge with every murder, every clue left behind.
I still couldn’t understand my role in all of this. After years of taking lives without hesitation, why has he suddenly shifted his focus to me? What was it about me that had him making this personal now, when it never had been before?
My hands were shaking. “Thanks, Colt,” I managed.
“Please be careful,” Colt warned.
“I’ll make sure she’s safe,” Dorian cut him off. His hand slipped from my waist, but the heat of his touch lingered.
“Get some rest,” Colt said, softer now. He gave a small dip of his head before walking to the door. “Goodnight,” he called out before stepping outside.
I paced back and forth, the floor creaking under each step, before I ended up in the kitchen, my heart hammering in my ears.
Dorian followed me, pulling me into his arms. “I got you.” His words washed over me, and I leaned into him, letting him carry the burden for just a second.
This was my fight, even if I didn’t want it to be, but leaning on Dorian, letting him see how this affected me, made it a little more bearable.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” he said softly. “I know you think you do, but you don’t.”
“I want to believe that… But I don’t know how to trust anyone,” I admitted. “How could I after everything?”
I could see the impact of my words hit him for a moment before he regained his composure.
“You don’t have to trust me. You can be wary all you want, but I will be here proving you wrong every step of the way,” he said.
“You don’t understand,” I said, taking a step back, my hands clenched at my sides. The heat in my chest spread to my face.
“You’re right, I don’t understand. I will never understand what it’s like for you, what you’ve gone through, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be here for you.”
“And do what? What is this?” I motioned between us. “We have both made it abundantly clear that we can’t jump into something. So what? What are we? Fuck buddies? Only there for each other when one of us is falling apart?” My voice wavered.
Casual was what we agreed on, but it felt like we were brushing aside something deeper. We both knew it was more, but neither of us was willing to admit anything more.
In one effortless motion, he lifted me, gently setting me on the counter.
“You want a fuck buddy? You got it, peach, but I’m also your friend. I’m always here for you. The good, the bad, all of it.”
Without thinking, I leaned in, my lips finding his. He seemed surprised at first, taking a beat before responding. When he did, it was slow and tender. He tasted like tequila and mint.
I wanted to stay lost in his kisses forever, to be drunk on him, consumed by the feeling of his mouth on mine.
His lips brushed mine again, gentle and patient, like he was asking for permission. I parted mine slightly in response, feeling the press of his tongue against my lips. It wasn’t forceful, just an invitation, and I met it.
Gods, I knew he’d be a good kisser.
He had that sexy, broody, nerdy thing going on, but even his kisses were devastating, as if he could fix even the most broken parts of me.
I had never been kissed like this—so intense, so all-consuming. It was as if every answer to every question was somehow contained in this moment, in the way his lips moved against mine.
It wasn’t urgent or desperate. It was perfect. His kiss was a quiet reassurance, not the fiery, reckless kind, but the kind that made you feel safe, even in the midst of uncertainty.
I hadn’t expected it to feel this way—calm, yet somehow still full of everything I hadn’t known I needed. He moved back, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
“Let’s go back to watching the show,” he said, nodding toward the couch, though I could still feel the heat of his lips on mine.
I nodded. “Yeah… that sounds… good,” I said, slipping off the counter and taking his hand as we walked over to the couch. Dorian grabbed the remote, pressing play.
It was the kind of noise that let us just be. We sat close, his arm naturally draping over the back of the couch. I nestled into him, my head resting on his shoulder, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing.
We didn’t say much—there wasn’t a need to. There was something comforting about the silence between us, his body next to mine. My eyelids grew heavier with each passing minute. His hand found its way into my hair, gently threading through the strands, and the steady, soothing motion made it harder to stay awake.
“I like this,” he mumbled, looking down at me with a soft smile.
“Hm?” I hummed.
“Being here with you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“Me too.”
I maybe liked it too much, because being with Dorian was natural. I didn’t have to constantly analyze if what I was doing was wrong, or if he was upset and not speaking about it. I didn’t have to stress about my day. For some reason, being around him made the noise go quiet in my head. I was able to let go and be present.
The only other person who ever made me feel like that was Dotty.
And maybe that was their twin superpower. Maybe they had this ability for everyone.
But I wanted it just to be for me.