40. Noah - October
FORTY
Noah - October
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU - MILEY CYRUS
Dorian’s fingers tightened in my hair, tipping my head back as he deepened the kiss, turning what was once a moment of vulnerability into something raw, something so much more.
I let the clothes slip from my hands, my fingers trailing over his body, eager to memorize every inch. Beneath his skin, I felt the hard, corded muscles tense under my touch as I traced the lines of his chest and abdomen.
Each movement I made sent a shiver through him, and I couldn’t help but want to explore every inch, to touch every part of him, even those broken, shattered pieces he believed were too unworthy to be loved.
My hair was soaked from the rain, but the shiver that coursed through my body had nothing to do with the cold. He matched my desire, his hands moving up and down my body with purpose. He pushed us back until I was met with a hard surface. With my back up against the wall, I looked up and saw nothing but pure need in his eyes.
Slowly, he glided his fingers from my arms to my hands, interlocked our fingers, and brought them above my head.
“Are we playing another round of who can stand closest to the door without touching it?” I asked deviously.
He smirked. “It looks like I’ve won this round. But what’s my prize?”
Stepping up on my tiptoes, I slowly ran my tongue up his neck and whispered, “Me.”
His mouth was unleashed—hungry and urgent, and I could feel him harden against me.
“My bed,” he growled between fevered kisses. “Now.”
He slid his hands under my legs, lifting me effortlessly and wrapping them around his waist. Carrying me through the house, he pushed into his room, kicking the door shut behind us. Clothes disappeared in a blur—my soaked dress slopping to the floor with a thud.
His fingers traced my cheekbone with a surprising tenderness, but his mouth was devouring me as though he couldn’t get enough. We were a tangle of limbs, our bodies moving in sync, both of us caught in the storm we’d created, the chaos only driving us deeper into each other.
He bent down, capturing my nipple between his mouth. A moan escaped me that I was unable and unwilling to hold back. Now that I had him, I wanted him, all of him, everywhere.
He moved us to the bed, setting me down gently.
“Noah,” he started.
“Need you. Now,” I whimpered against his lips, the words spilling out in a breathless string.
“Yes, ma’am.”
He stood in the dim room, the only light spilling through the window in pale slivers. The moonlight touched the edges of his figure, illuminating the sharp lines of his jaw and the subtle flex of his muscles. The rest of him remained cloaked in darkness, a silhouette framed by the glow of the night.
“Off,” I said, pointing to the last remainder of his clothes. His eyes darkened. “Now.”
“Maybe I could get used to you taking charge.” He ushered them down his muscular thighs and started stroking himself. “Now, it’s your turn,” he said, nodding to my panties that were still on. “Wait, I take that back.” He leaned over me, peppering my legs with kissing as he worked his way up. “I want to do it.”
He grabbed the lace, pulling it down gently, his heated gaze fixed on me. After he pulled them off, he stood at the edge of the bed again, watching.
“Please, Dorian.”
He grinned. “Hmm. I like this. My name coming out of your mouth as you lie naked and needy in my bed.”
He walked over to the nightstand, grabbing a condom and rolled it along himself. My mouth salivated simply looking at him. In one quick motion, he was hovering over me again, staring at me.
“Please,” I repeated, my desire ready to swallow me whole.
And then he filled me, stretching me, every inch of him deep inside, leaving me breathless. The sensation was a mix of heat and fullness, a pressure that both burned and soothed at once. It was overwhelming, like nothing else existed but him, filling every space of me, claiming me in a way that left me dizzy, my body trembling beneath him.
“Oh fuck.” My words came out in quick pants as we found our rhythm.
“Baby, you feel so good.”
I bucked my hips up, causing a groan to slip from his mouth. He leaned into me, letting his head rest on my shoulder as he continued to move in the perfect motion as my release started building.
“Fuck, Noah. It’s too good. You are too fucking good.”
He gripped my hips, and my eyes fluttered shut, knowing it would leave marks—marks that claimed me, that made me his .
“Noah, eyes on me. I need to watch as you come undone for me.”
My eyes snapped open at the command. The look on his face was unlike anything I’d ever seen before—completely consumed by desire, raw and unrestrained.
Our movements grew faster, and I relished it all.
I whimpered. “More, I need more, Dorian.”
“Baby, I’m taking this all in. Don’t rush me.”
He lifted up slightly, placing his hand between us and finding my clit. He pushed down, moving in circles, and I was suddenly spiraling, my orgasm ripping through me. His mouth was back on mine, stealing my moans.
His groan filled the room, raw and deep, as his release tore through him. He collapsed onto me, his weight a welcome pressure. I wanted him close, no longer holding back, and I was relieved to finally have him completely, without reservation.
After a moment, he rolled over and we lay there, tangled in the sheets. Our bodies were slick with sweat, our heavy breathing the only sound filling the room.
The room still felt charged, both of us caught in the intensity of the moment, but there was comfort, too—an unspoken understanding.
Dorian’s hand moved absentmindedly, tracing lazy patterns along my spine, his touch soothing. I shifted slightly, my gaze meeting his, and I could sense his walls finally fall.
It wasn’t lust or desire or need anymore. There was something deeper.
His lips curved into that half-smile I’d come to know so well, but there was a softness in it that made my heart flutter.
“What?” I whispered, still dazed from everything.
“You’re right,” he said, his tone almost hesitant, like he was working through something he’d been carrying for far too long.
I tilted my head, unsure of where this was going. “I know, but about what?” I teased.
He paused, his eyes dropping for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Then, with a small sigh, he began again, his words deliberate and heavy with meaning. “I got back home, put Gracie to bed, but when I sat down after, all I could think about was you. Everything you said, it kept replaying in my mind, and you were right. I don’t want to look back on my life when I’m old, wishing I’d taken the risk. I don’t want to lie there on my deathbed, thinking about the one that got away—the one with curly hair, striking eyes, and a heart of pure fucking gold. I don’t want that. I want you. I want to take the risk.”
My breath caught, a surge of emotion flooding through me as I watched him confront his fears. The raw vulnerability of it pulled something tight inside me.
He was offering me something I knew wasn’t easy for him. “I want that too,” I admitted.
He moved closer, his hand gently cupping my face, his thumb grazing across my cheek with a tenderness that made my heart ache. “I want to grow old with you. I want to go with you to Gracie’s graduation, thinking to myself, damn, where did the time go? I want to make pancakes on weekends, get another dog, and do all those silly, mundane things that we always think are so small, but with you… they’re never mundane. They’re everything.”
His words warmed me from the inside out.
This was it. This was the kind of love I never thought I deserved, settling for so much less, and yet here it was—offered to me. The fear that once held me back faded.
And for the first time in a long time, I felt it. Hope.
Hope that I could be happy and loved and still have the life that seemed impossible the day I learned the truth about John.
I leaned in, my forehead resting against his, our breaths mingling in the space between us. “We have all the time in the world,” I whispered, a sense of peace washing over me.