3. Zoe
THREE
ZOE
I had hoped the porch swing’s gentle glide would calm me, like a baby in a rocker—but so far, it wasn’t having any effect. Maybe because I was still feeling angry enough to reload all of my luggage into my Jeep and leave Lost Valley Ranch forever.
Then where would I go? I thought about the awful conversation I’d been subjected to a week prior, which had precipitated my coming here in the first place.
My two now-former roommates had called a house meeting—the first of its kind—and told me that my night owl tendencies were a disruption for them.
I was so shocked by their claim that I hadn’t been able to muster up a response.
How was it possible that being in my room with the door closed and working on my computer with my headphones on was a disruption ?
Then the truth came out. My roommates’ sorority sister from college was moving to town and needed a place to live, making me, who’d answered an ad to live there, expendable.
I always believed that keeping to myself and hanging out in my room made me the perfect roommate, but they’d turned it around on me and accused me of being antisocial and unfriendly.
They wanted to live with someone who was more like them.
I didn’t want to fight, so I’d agreed to move out by the end of the month…
which was just a week away, leaving me practically no time to find some place new.
Which was the reason why I was currently rage-swinging on the Cafferty’s front porch. Shannon’s offer to come home to the familiarity of the ranch and help out at the same time was too good to refuse. But then Josh had to go and say the very thing I was afraid of…that I wasn’t welcome.
My phone rang and I fished it out of my pocket only to see my mom’s smiling profile photo.
“Hi, Mom,” I sniffled as I answered.
“Hi, baby. You okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. I just got to Shannon’s and it’s…weird.”
My stomach twisted at the admission. The Cafferty home had always been a refuge when I was younger.
My exuberant, outgoing parents had never quite known what to do with their shy, introverted daughter.
They loved me, but they didn’t understand me—and vice versa.
Shannon was the one who got me best, and staying at the ranch had always made me feel comfortable and relaxed, accepted as I was.
So why did I feel like a trespasser now?
“How so, honey? You love Shannon.” I could hear rustling in the background.
My mom, the most energetic person I’d ever met, rarely limited herself to one task at a time.
From the sounds of it, she was folding laundry while we talked.
Ronnie Wilson could not have a lengthy conversation unless she was also doing something with her hands.
I never understood it, but she swore it helped her think.
“It’s not her, it’s Josh.” It came out in an angry huff, so I lowered my voice. “I overheard him calling me an outsider . And he was so standoffish to me. I had reservations about staying here to begin with, you know?” I mused. “Being forced to be so close to horses…obviously that’s an issue.”
“That’s understandable. Your accident was frightening for all of us.”
I unconsciously rubbed the arm I’d broken getting thrown from one of the Lost Valley horses when I was a kid. The bone had healed but what had previously been low-level anxiety around horses had turned into a full-blown phobia. I didn’t plan on going anywhere near the barns if I could help it.
“But you’re not going to let that hold you back, are you, honey? You know what I always say…” Mom continued, and I mouthed along with the words I knew were coming, “…put out a positive attitude, and you’ll get back a positive response! If you just believe in yourself, you can push past your fear.”
“Sure, Mom. I’ll…think about that.” Think about it, set it aside, and never, ever act on it.
While my mother’s advice was always well-meaning, it tended to be more wishful thinking instead of actionable suggestions.
I didn’t want to know what my mother would advise me to do about my history with Josh, so I chose not to bring that up.
Even though I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Just seeing him standing in the driveway was enough to make my stomach drop. No matter how many years passed since that one scorching summer we’d shared, he’d always had the same effect on me: the top-of-the rollercoaster-just-before-the-drop gut clench.
Josh was always so different from everyone else in my life.
Brash. Confident. A leader. And hot as hell.
I still couldn’t understand how we’d ended up together.
Back in high school, he’d been the captain of the football team while I was the weird little computer nerd.
Aside from acknowledging me as Shannon’s friend, he’d never given me a second look.
But then he’d come back for the summer after his first year of college, looking more grown up than when he’d left, and we’d just…
clicked. It hadn’t lasted, of course. It was only a summer fling.
But we’d parted on good terms, which was part of the reason why I’d thought it would be okay to go back to Lost Valley for an extended visit.
Given what Josh had said about me to Shannon, I was wrong.
Much like my mean girl roommates, Josh thought I didn’t fit in.
“Honey, it’s not like you’re there forever. This is just a layover, then you’re on to bigger and better things.”
I sighed. “You’re right. Once I’m accepted into that graduate coding program, I’ll be set. I’ll be back with people who get me.”
“Hey, Shannon gets you,” my mom said. “Don’t sell your friend short.”
“Yeah,” I snorted. “But apparently, she’s the only Cafferty who does.” The youngest Cafferty, Fiona, was never all that friendly toward me, and I doubted that had changed much since I’d last seen her.
The screen door slammed behind me, and I turned to glance over my shoulder.
Josh stood there, staring at me with a look that made it clear he wanted to talk to me.
Scowling and smoldering in his typical Josh way.
I debated staying on the phone and chatting just to annoy him.
But “stubborn” was practically Josh’s middle name.
He’d wait me out, which would also mean he would hear my side of the conversation. Better to get it over with.
“Hey, Mom, I need to run. I’ll talk to you soon.”
“Stay strong, honey. You’ll get through this. Remember, it’s always darkest before the dawn.”
I couldn’t have stopped my eyeroll if my life depended on it. “Love you, Mom,” I said as I hung up, purposely avoiding looking at Josh. I could feel his eyes on me and I wanted to squirm, but I stood my ground .
“Zo, can I talk to you for a second?”
His use of my nickname irritated me. Only people who were close to me were allowed to call me that, and he clearly wasn’t anymore.
I turned to Josh. “No, you can’t. This outsider needs a few minutes of solitude.”
He sighed and closed his eyes.
“I shouldn’t have said that. And listen, you were right. About our website.” He opened his mouth as if he would say more but paused before finally adding. “We do need your help. I had no idea our website was that…broken. I feel like an idiot for not figuring that out on my own.”
I raised my eyebrows and gave him an expectant look.
“And I apologize for being a jerk about it.”
The corner of my mouth quirked up in victory.
“But here’s the thing. I don’t have any wiggle room in our budget to pay you, and I don’t feel right about letting you do it for free, even if you are staying here in exchange.
It’s not like we’re struggling for space around here, so you being here obviously isn’t that much of an imposition.
” I frowned at that, but he continued. “My dad always said that if you can’t afford to pay your workers a fair wage, then you can’t afford to own a ranch. And I believe the same thing.”
He looked so dejected that I almost forgot that I was still simmering at him. I would need to keep my guard up around him…but maybe I could help him out.
“I think I have a solution,” I said. “I’m not sure if Shannon told you, but I’m applying for a grad school coding program, and I need a portfolio piece.
I’ve got a bunch of other client work, but obviously, it all reflects their taste and not mine.
I’ll take on the Lost Valley website for no charge if you let me make all the final decisions on the layout and content, so I can use it as my premier piece for my application. ”
Josh scowled and I could tell that there was an argument on his lips, so I waited him out. I knew it wasn’t easy for him to hand over the reins to anything, even if it was something he didn’t know much about.
“But what if I hate it?”
I laughed. “I promise, you won’t hate it. I’m good at what I do.” I scooted over on the swing. “Come sit, I’ll prove it.”
Josh walked over reluctantly. The way he warily eyed me up and down made me think he was a little afraid to get close to me. That was information I filed away to dissect another time. First I had to prove myself. He sat down on the far side of the swing and the old thing groaned.
I scrolled through my phone, trying to decide which of my past projects would sell my point.
The wedding photographers and party planners wouldn’t do, even though they were lovely sites.
The corporate sites for attorneys and accountants were professional and sleek, but probably not in line with the vision that Josh had for Lost Valley.
I settled on the children’s summer camp in the Poconos and a nature photographer who had lots of shots of horses and cows.
“Check these out,” I said, handing my phone to him.
“And don’t just glance at them. This redesign is going to take the user experience into account, so go through these examples like you’re interested in doing business with the site’s owner.
Think about if you like how the page navigation is laid out, and the color schemes.
And make note of what you don’t like too. ”
I watched Josh’s face as he navigated through the sites I’d pulled up. His pessimistic expression softened as he worked his way through them, and at one point he actually uttered “wow” when a particularly impressive page popped on the screen.
“These are really good,” he finally said. “I think I like this one best, though.”
When he held up my phone it was my site, and the photo on the screen was of me. The picture was from the nature photographer’s “portraits” page, and I knew it was an amazing shot. The image of me was in black and white, close-up, with just the hint of a grin on my face.
I blushed. “Oh, that photo is heavily edited. I don’t look like that in real life.”
Josh stared at the picture, then raised his eyes to meet mine. “Well, I think you do.”
We both went silent for a second until Josh cleared his throat and handed my phone back. “I’m impressed. And I’d be foolish not to agree to the deal even though it’s going to be hard giving you final say.”
“Hard because it’s me, or because you’re a control freak?”
“Oof.” He doubled over like I’d punched him. “How about neither? I just like things the way I like them. We might have different tastes.”
I nodded. “True. But part of the reason why I said I wanted to meet with you is so I can get a feel for what you like, and then add my spin to it. Remember, you might have ideas, but I know what works . And in the end, this isn’t just about executing your personal vision—it’s about getting more paying butts in saddles and more interest in Shannon’s breeding program. ”
Josh brightened. “Speaking of…would you be willing… ”
I knew what he was going to say before he finished. “Nope.” I shook my head vigorously. “Don’t even think about it.”
He frowned and said nothing. The accident wasn’t something to be discussed lightly. I wondered if he had any clue how much of a lasting impact that injury had on me. I needed to change the subject.
“So should we make this official?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’ll sign whatever you have. I’m in,” Josh answered with an earnest expression on his face.
I threw my head back and laughed. “Not that official. We’re friends. I’m not actually charging you anything—there’s no need for a contract. All we have to do is shake on it.”
Josh smiled sheepishly at his oversight. “That’s always been my preferred way of sealing a deal. The cowboy way, no paperwork needed. Spit and a handshake?”
I recoiled in mock horror. “No thanks, let’s skip the spit. A plain old handshake works for me.”
I held my hand out, and Josh met my eyes as he reached for it.
We hadn’t really touched since I’d arrived, except for the moment in the hallway when he’d grabbed me, and the instant his big hand wrapped around mine, I realized that there was a good reason why I’d kept my distance for all these years.
Because the sensation of his skin against mine was an immediate flashback to everything we’d been to each other once upon a time.
His hand was rougher than I’d remembered, weathered by time and hard work, but somehow it still managed to feel gentle as it enveloped mine.
I tried not to think about how much I used to love how he always towered over my smaller frame, or how ranch life suited him and his muscles were now sculpture worthy .
I pulled my hand out of Josh’s with a start. I couldn’t risk catching feelings for him; I had a job to do.
And then I was leaving.
“Okay, then. We’re square, and I can get to work. If it’s okay I’m going to set up in the kitchen, that way I can grab you guys as I need you.”
“Of course, grab away,” Josh said, then his expression shifted as he realized how it probably sounded.
We both chuckled and Josh got up from the swing slowly, as if walking away from me was the last thing he wanted to do.