15. Josh
FIFTEEN
JOSH
“ W e ready to launch yet?” I asked Zoe, rubbing my hands together excitedly as I burst into the kitchen, catching her off guard. “C’mon, let’s do it!”
“Ugh, please stop rushing me,” Zoe said, scowling at her laptop. “We’re getting closer, but we’re not quite there yet. The maps and drone footage are finally both working, and I’ve got most of the photos placed, I just need to take a few more.”
She was such a perfectionist that I was sure she was stalling for no good reason. Zoe could barely tear her eyes away from her laptop to look at me.
“You probably don’t want to hear this, but in order to get things rolling in time for the season, I think we need to go live with the trail portion of the site by next week.”
Zoe finally managed to look away from the screen.
She crossed her arms and stared at me as I sat down across from her.
“Seriously? Like, live with sign-ups and everything? I thought I had more time.” She looked back at the screen mumbling something about test runs and making sure the reservation system was working.
“You’ve got time to tinker with the rest of the site, but the trail stuff needs to launch ASAP, Zo. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just functional. We need to get a read on how viable this program will be.”
A lot was riding on the success of the trail riding program. I needed money to keep the ranch running, the animals fed, and the bills paid, and I didn’t want to use the bank’s loan to do all that.
“Nuh-uh, there is no such thing as perfect or functional,” she replied, shaking her head and frowning. “Those two things have to go together.”
“Okay, well, what can I do to help you get there? Want me to read the copy? Play around on the mobile version and look for bugs?”
“All of that is helpful, but it’s really all about getting those photos to complete the site.” She paused and looked me in the eyes. “Horse photos. Close-ups that I couldn’t get with the drone because I was spooking them.”
“Ah, okay. Got it.”
And there was the reason for her stalling. Her fear of horses was running right into her drive to make everything perfect. I thought the trail ride had put a dent in that anxiety, but clearly the fear ran deeper than she had shared.
“I blew it when I went out to the far field to take photos, and to be honest, I’ve been putting off trying again because…well, you know why.” She hung her head and looked sheepish.
“Even after riding Indigo, Zo? Still? You did such a great job that day. ”
“That was different,” she replied quickly. “You were right there with me. You made me feel…safe.”
I smiled at the thought of her pressed up against me.
“Could I take the photos for you?” I asked.
Zoe shook her head. “Not unless you know how to use a DSLR camera. It would be obvious if you took cell phone photos for the horse ones and all of the other pictures on the site were professional grade. That consistency is important.” She stared at the screen for a minute.
“I guess we could use a few stock photos of horses that look like yours for now and then down the line you could hire someone to come take good ones of your herd.”
“But…you said you’re using our site for your marquee piece when you apply for the grad program. Using stock photos doesn’t sound to me like the vision you had in mind, Zo.”
She picked at her nails for a few seconds, avoiding meeting my eyes, and I knew I was right.
“What if I told you I had a way to help you get over your fear of horses?” I asked, leaning forward so she had no choice but to look at me.
“I’d say I never knew you were a psychologist.”
I chuckled. “Give me some credit, Zo. I’ve spent my life around horses and horse-riding students. You’re not the first person to feel nervous around them. I mean, they weigh upwards of six hundred pounds!”
Zoe shrank down in her seat.
“Stop, stop, stop,” I said gently. I wanted to reach out and grab her hand to help ease her fears, but I held myself back. “They’re gentle giants, I promise. So, are you in to do a little exposure therapy with me? ”
“Do you promise to not do anything like shutting me in a barn filled with horses and leaving me there for hours?”
“I would never ,” I said. “You know I’ll always look out for you. I’m on your side, Zo.”
She finally smiled. “I know that. Thank you. And yeah, let’s try whatever scheme you have in mind.”
“Well, all right then. It’s a date. You and me at the barn, today at…can you make four-ish happen?”
Zoe went wide-eyed for a split second and I wondered what I’d said to set her off again.
Agatha was the sweetest foal in the barn, but sometimes she got a little devil in her and joyfully kicked her way around the paddock the way youngsters did. I hoped she’d be on her best behavior for Zoe’s first intro as I put a halter on the month-old baby.
I led the chestnut beauty out of the barn to where Zoe was standing, twisted up like a pretzel with her legs folded around each other and arms crossed tightly over her chest. I stifled a laugh at her serious face. She looked like she was getting ready to meet a demon, not a sweet little horse!
Her expression softened when she saw me with Agatha.
“Oh my goodness,” she cooed as we got closer. “This is the first step of my therapy? I think I’m cured!”
“Zo, meet Agatha. She’s one-month-old and all sass, just like her momma.”
I watched her take in the skinny brown foal. Zoe’s posture relaxed but her arms stayed crossed .
“Do you want to touch her? She’s really soft,” I said. I’d stopped about five feet away from Zoe so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed.
“Um…okay.” Zoe was still frozen in place. “She doesn’t bite, does she?”
I smiled at her. “Nope, you’re safe.”
She walked over and reached out tentatively. Agatha stayed still but flicked her tail, causing Zoe to freeze.
“It’s okay. She’s happy to meet you, that’s all,” I said.
Zoe finally got close enough to touch Agatha and the moment her hand connected, a smile lit up her face.
“She’s perfect .”
“Yeah, she is,” I replied, trying not to stare at Zoe’s pretty face while she petted the foal. “Why don’t we walk around a bit?”
We started off together, side by side, with Agatha a few steps behind us. The movement got the foal excited, and she kicked up her heels a few times. I threw a nervous glance at Zoe but she laughed.
“This is just the first step,” I explained. “Once you feel okay about being close to Agatha, we’ll move one size up, to a slightly bigger horse, and then keep going until we get to Indigo. You okay with that?”
Zoe nodded. “If we take it slowly, sure. As long as I can get the photos before I have to submit my portfolio for school, I should be fine.”
“If you do as well with the rest of my team as you’re doing with Agatha here, I think it’s gonna go fast. I’m going to let her off the lead now so she can run, if that’s okay with you. ”
Zoe nodded and we watched the foal work to keep her legs ahead of her spirit. After a few minutes of silence, she spun to face me.
“Why are you doing all of this?” she asked in a sharp voice, her forehead furrowed. “Why are you being so nice to me?”
The change in her demeanor made me jerk back. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
“You have to stop,” she fumed, suddenly angry in a way I didn’t understand. “It’s making me confused.”
“Um… I’m confused. I have no idea what’s going on, Zoe.”
“Josh, you’re giving me mixed messages! Helping me with this horse stuff, rescuing me on the trail… kissing me! I’m starting to have feelings for you again, and we both know you think of me like a sister and nothing more.”
A little spark of hope lit up inside at her confession despite my confusion. “Sister? What are you talking about?”
“I heard what you said to that hand the day after I first got here, about considering me your sister,” she shot back.
I remembered the brief conversation with Dustin in my office.
“That? I don’t want Dustin knowing my business.
He’s nosy as hell and he likes to gossip, so I keep my private life to myself.
” I paused and leveled my gaze on her flashing eyes.
“Believe me, my feelings for you are definitely not brotherly. I kept trying to fight it off. Obviously, it wasn’t working because I couldn’t resist kissing you after the ride.
And the other night about killed me. Dancing with you, Zo…
it felt so good having you in my arms. It took everything in my power not to have my way with you right there on the dance floor. ”
Zoe finally smiled as her cheeks went pink at my words .
“And it’s happening again,” I said in a low voice. “I’m standing here having a normal conversation with you, but in my head, I’m kissing you. Over and over again.”
She took a step closer to me. “Is that a fact?”
I nodded and swallowed hard. Everything came down to what happened next.
“So it’s okay if I do…this?” Zoe asked as she raised onto her tiptoes and stared into my eyes. She moved closer to me one agonizing inch at a time, then pressed her lips to mine. She pulled away before I could lean into the kiss.
“No, that’s not okay,” I said in a whisper. “Because when you kiss me, you need to do it like this .”
I moved to her quickly, sliding one hand around her waist and using the other to cradle the back of her head, turning her face up to mine. Zoe let out a surprised gasp before I dropped my mouth to hers and kissed her the way I used to.
The memories came flooding back to me. The softness of her hair, the way her body molded against mine as we kissed like we were magnetized, her delicious blackberry scent…it was as if no time had passed and we were two teens in love with nothing holding us back.
She grasped the sides of my face gently, like she didn’t want me to slip away. But there was no way that was going to happen again. I let my tongue graze her lips, and she parted her mouth to meet it.
God , I wanted her. Every inch of her. I let my hands race along her back, then down to her ass, cupping it and pulling her closer so that she was pressed up against me.
I felt the urgent tension of my cock straining against my jeans and suspected I’d have a seam mark on my shaft later.
She had that effect on me, with just a simple kiss turning me into a horny teenager again .
Her tongue was doing things to me. Primal, lose-all-self-control things.
I was seconds away from picking her up and walking her to the barn where I could strip her down and do all of the things I’d been imagining when Agatha raced by and let out an accusatory whinny.
We jumped apart, and I breathed a slow sigh.
“What are we doing?” Zoe asked, looking around the field in a panic. “Anyone could walk up and catch us. That wouldn’t look good if you’re trying to avoid anyone knowing your personal business.”
I nodded. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
Zoe moved closer to me and lowered her voice. “I’m not.”
I opened my mouth to answer just as one of the hands, Randy, came around the barn. “Yo, boss. Been looking for you. I need you inside for a sec.”
I waved at him without taking my eyes off Zoe. “We’ll figure this out later, okay?”
She nodded, looking up at me through her lashes, and it took all of my strength not to lean down and kiss her again.