Three
Sylvie
A laugh bursts out of me, and Ryan grins back. He told me about how the firefighters hose each other on their birthday. It’s always when you don’t expect it, even when you’re looking out for it because it’s tradition.
The last birthday at the firehouse was for his cousin, who was on the toilet when they snaked a hose over the top and doused him. Obviously, it wasn’t a proper fire hose, he added.
We’ve finished up our sandwiches and shared a muffin because I was too stuffed to get one just for me. Ryan was gracious about it, even though I’m sure he would have eaten the whole muffin by himself in two or three bites.
He is so fit. When he got up to use the bathroom earlier, his thigh muscles were well defined beneath his jeans. And his ass. I’d stared at it as he walked away.
I’ve dug myself into a massive hole here. Once he knows I lied about who I am, he won’t want to talk to me again. Typical, given he seems like the perfect man. He’s the full package, handsome, funny, courteous. Of course, that’s a first impression and to get to know him better would take a few more dates.
A glum feeling comes over me. The first man I’ve enjoyed spending time with in years and I’ve already driven him away. He just doesn’t know it yet.
We’ve talked and laughed and talked more. We had to order some cokes to hold on to the table. It’s been two hours. Neither one of us expected the date to last this long.
Neither Henry nor Alison showed up. That is one good thing to come out of this, I guess. If I’d have said I wasn’t Alison, but I was there on a blind date too, we maybe still could have sat together. We could have commiserated over been stood up.
As we get closer to winding down the date, my panic rises. I won’t be able to agree to another date. Not without telling him who I am. But I’ve had such a good time.
“Alison, are you okay?”
My heart feels as if another stake has driven through it, hearing that concern, punctuated by her name. Not mine. Not Sylvie.
“Yes, I’m sorry, but I have to run. I have a huge order to get ready in the next couple of days and it is going to be a lot of work.”
“Time has kind of run away with us, hasn’t it?”
I nod.
“It’s because it’s been such a nice time,” he says, sitting forward.
He reaches over the table and takes my hand. It’s warm and oddly makes me feel safe, which is insane given I’ve only just met the man. Followed swiftly by a wave of guilt.
“I think they need the table back,” I say, pretending that someone has signaled.
Ryan looks over his shoulder, then back at me. “Right, we have kind of hogged it.”
There aren’t any people looking for tables. What is he thinking? That I can’t wait to get out of here? He’d be right, but also wrong. Oh crap.
We gather our things and head outside. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to say as he pulls the door closed. Do I tell him I can never see him again? The truth just seems like a terrible idea. We haven’t exchanged numbers. Or… Oh, he must have Alison’s number.
I can just leave saying we’ll call, but he won’t have my number. Yes. No. That thought leaves me sad. I don’t want him to be ghosted.
Or worse, have Alison respond and say she never went on a date with him.
It’s truth time, Sylvie. Just do it. Turning to face him, he has this earnest, cute smile on his face, like he is about to arrange another date. I can’t bear to put any other look on his face.
His phone rings. He frowns, but looks like he is about to ignore it.
“You should get that,” I blurt.
“Uh, sure. But hang on a sec, okay? I’ll get rid of whoever it is.”
Maybe he won’t notice if I run away while his back is turned.
“Hey, what’s up?” he answers. He doesn’t turn away. “Shit, okay, I’m not far. I can leave the car,” he looks at me, concern etched all over his face. “Yeah, I’m on my way.”
Ryan hangs up the phone. Something is wrong. It’s written all over his face.
“There’s a really bad fire. They need all hands on deck. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” I touch his arm. I’m filled with alarm. Hearing someone is a firefighter and knowing they’re running off to fight one is kind of terrifying. I can’t show him I’m concerned. I have no right. “You should go. I hope everyone is okay.”
“Yeah, it sounds bad. I’m sorry for running out like this. I had an amazing time.”
“It’s fine. That is far more important than me.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” he quirks his lip. “Although…” he cringes as he laughs. “I gotta go.”
He turns, thinks twice and comes back, leaning down he kisses my cheek. My heart stops, I lift a hand to my chest to make sure it is still there as he pulls back. He gives me one of his dimpled smiles and steps back.
“I’ll call.”
Before I can say anything, he turns and sprints down the block. My head drops and I stare at my feet. What did I just do?
The walk to my house isn’t that long. I don’t need to go back to the store. My two staff members have got it covered. I’d planned on taking the entire afternoon anyway. I wasn’t sure whether it would be to drown my sorrows after a bad date or be on a high after a good one.
Never did I imagine feeling both.
Ryan is an amazing guy. He’s everything I’m attracted to. And he had to leave our date to go save people. Alison is an absolute idiot for standing this guy up. I’m going to choose to believe she is a bigger idiot than me.
Someone has to be, after what I just did.
It’s done now. I don’t have his number, and he doesn’t have mine. We live in a small town. Although it’s not small enough that we could run into one another. Especially given I’ve never seen him before. The only thing I can think of where he might find me, is at the florist.
Why did I tell him the name of my business?
Although when he finds out I lied, he will not want to know me anyway. Dating sucked before I took the plunge. Now it downright makes me want to curl up in a ball.
Grams is on one of her health retreat weeks up in Colorado, so I have a house guest for the week. Not that I mind. He’s someone to talk to.
Lurch is in the kitchen when I walk through the house. He tilts his neck up and dips it up and down. It’s his way of saying hello. Or feed me. Or let me out. It’s an art knowing which he wants.
He’s been cooped up all day though, so I open the door to the back yard. He lopes over the step and trundles off to the small vegetable patch I planted just for him, and starts plucking at the leafy greens.
Watching him makes me think of Ryan. Great, is everything going to remind me of him?
Setting the tea kettle on the stove I grab a mug and drop in a Turkish apple tea bag. Once it’s all prepared, I peek through the window and see Lurch sitting on a patch of grass with his head tipped up, enjoying the sun. At least one of us happy.
I spend the afternoon alternating between planning out the concept for a wedding I’ve been hired for, and reliving every moment of my lies.
And avoiding calls from the friend who wants to hear about the date. She has texted me eight times and called three before I pick up the call.
“Henry didn’t show up.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I got stood up. By someone who went through that entire process.”
“Oh no, honey,” she pauses then comes back more upbeat. “He’s an asshat. He’s the only one missing out.”
“Well, blind dates are crossed off my list now, Abs.”
Abby sighs. “You can’t let one hiccup put you off. You came so far agreeing to this date. I feel like it’s my fault.”
“How can it possibly be your fault?”
I get up and walk to the front window looking out at the other houses on the cul-de-sac where I live. It’s a nice, quiet neighborhood. Being able to buy a house here was one of my biggest adult achievements.
If only I could find a romantic partner who wants me, for me, and wants to stay.
“Well, you should put a complaint in with that dating agency,” Abby says sadly. “What are you doing now?”
“Drinking tea and planning Krissy’s wedding flowers.”
“Oh no.” I can almost picture her pouting. “Do you want to go get a drink? I can leave the kids with Dirk’s mom.”
“No, I’m not in the mood to go out again. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got things to keep me busy for now.”
“Well, okay. Kate and Karl have been extra clingy today,” she says about her kids. “They wouldn’t settle without me. You will not give up on dating, right?”
“Maybe for this week,” I say, appeasing her.
I’m too embarrassed to tell her about Ryan. Abby would understand, she knows how awkward I can be sometimes. She’d find it funny, then go hunt him down and tell him to give me a second chance.
We end the call, arranging a coffee date next week when the kids are at daycare.
Sitting on the couch, I throw myself backwards, and stare up at the ceiling.
Wishful thinking is bad for the soul. It’s time to forget about Ryan. And Henry, the ass.
And just move on.