Chapter 1
The abundance of candles and carefully placed mirrors made Pemberley’s drawing room bright and sparkling.
The conversation carried on, interesting and amiable, and, as if from afar, Elizabeth recognised her aunt and uncle’s animated voices.
And his voice — calm, deep, composed, with a trace of a smile in it.
The same little smile — barely there, not quite perceptible, but so meaningful — that he had worn from the moment he had happened upon her visiting his home and had greeted her with unexpected kindness.
By the time Elizabeth finally started the journey towards Derbyshire with the Gardiners, her usual joy and excitement for travelling had diminished proportionally with the growing tumult in her heart, and she struggled to conceal it from everyone around her.
Everything that had happened in the past months — Darcy’s proposal, her rejection, his letter, the revelation of Wickham’s true character and of her own foolishness and obstinacy — blended into a whirlwind of feelings and thoughts that had troubled her for months.
Added to all this was her brief confrontation with Wickham after her return from Kent; the regiment moving to Brighton, and Lydia’s incessant and loud whining and bragging about the colonel’s wife’s invitation to join her as her special friend; Jane’s quiet but constant suffering; and her mother’s endless complaints about Elizabeth refusing Mr Collins’s offer and Charlotte Lucas accepting it.
When the Gardiners invited her on a tour to the Lakes, she accepted with gratitude and relief, hoping a long journey would settle her mind and heart. But the shortened trip they eventually settled upon only stirred her tumult.
Yes, Derbyshire was a large county. One would think she could visit it with impunity and without fearing an encounter.
But three days ago, they had arrived in Lambton to visit Mrs Gardiner’s relatives.
Her aunt and uncle wished to tour the greatest house in the vicinity of the small market town, as they had done many others on their journey, and despite her awkward attempts to dissuade them, they had gone to Pemberley, with much reluctance from Elizabeth’s side, and only after they had enquired and been assured that the master was not at home.
And yet, he had returned a day earlier than planned, just in time to find her wandering around his estate, enchanted by the beauties of Pemberley.
If his marriage proposal had been the most unexpected and least imagined thing in the whole wide world, the meeting at Pemberley certainly counted as the most bewildering and mortifying encounter.
Her astonishment increased when, instead of treating her like his worst — or maybe, upon consideration of Mr Wickham, second worst — enemy and throwing her from his property, he behaved with perfect courtesy; in fact with a warm good-naturedness that stunned her.
He was welcoming to her and amiable with her relatives.
He introduced them to his sister’s acquaintance and later invited Mr Gardiner to engage in gentlemanly activities with him, Mr Bingley, and Mr Hurst.
But even more amazing than his improved behaviour and charming manners was, to Elizabeth, her own reaction to him, the disconcerting sensations aroused inside her by simply being in his presence, and the frightening amount of time she spent simply thinking of him — which she had to admit that she had done a lot lately.
She was too ashamed of her past misjudgment and offensive rejection, too confused by the novelty of the changes in his demeanour and in her feelings to even attempt to analyse in depth what was happening.
It was all too sudden, too soon, and too much for any estimation; and the fear of being mistaken yet again discouraged her even more.
Being invited to dinner at Pemberley was something the Gardiners, and even less Elizabeth, could not have imagined several days prior, and whilst all three of them felt honoured and delighted, they could not be completely at ease.
Of the three of them, Mr Gardiner was the most comfortable, since he had already enjoyed the gentlemen’s company on a fishing party.
The sharp sound of a high note — struck exquisitely on the pianoforte by Miss Georgiana Darcy — startled Elizabeth, reminding her to turn the pages for the girl.
She had already sung while Miss Darcy played, but in truth, Elizabeth was well aware of how average her talent and musical proficiency were compared to the young miss, so she chose to assist and support her, rather than join her in performing.
From across the room, Elizabeth noticed Mr Bingley smiling with genuine pleasure, and she hoped he was thinking of Jane while looking at her.
By his side were his sisters, whispering to each other with their usual self-sufficient expressions and apparent disapproval of her.
Elizabeth was equally amused and annoyed by the two, as their barely concealed rudeness and contempt towards her were almost as laughable as their desperate attempts to flatter Mr Darcy and his sister.
When Miss Darcy had finished her performance and rose from the instrument, Louisa Hurst immediately took her place. Miss Darcy took a seat near her brother, and Elizabeth intended to sit opposite them, near her uncle and aunt.
Caroline Bingley’s address stopped her though, and, although she expected the worst, the question still took her by surprise.
“Miss Bennet, has the militia regiment left Meryton?”
“Yes…they moved to Brighton for the summer,” Elizabeth replied indifferently.
“I imagine it was a great loss for your family. I remember that you were particularly fond of one of the officers,” Miss Bingley continued.
“I cannot imagine who you mean,” Elizabeth answered, trying to keep her calm whilst noticing Darcy’s sudden frown and pallor. Miss Bingley’s attack was unmistakable, as well as her attempt to embarrass Elizabeth. But the effect of her statement was stronger and more painful for the Darcys.
“She means George Wickham,” Mr Bingley interjected with genuine ignorance, trying to help Elizabeth. “Caroline, why would you bring up such a subject? You know Darcy cannot stand that man!”
The name, although mentioned with a good heart and the best of intentions, made Darcy clench his jaws and disturbed Georgiana so much that she seemed to cease breathing. She clutched her hands together in her lap and lowered her eyes, while Darcy tried to interject and stop the conversation.
“I certainly did not mean to offend Mr Darcy! I was only asking because I know how fond the entire Bennet family was of the regiment. Why, I still remember the Netherfield ball, when your younger sisters did little else the entire evening but entertain the officers. I wonder what they can be doing now, without that source of amusement.”
The woman’s tone was caustic and offensive, and Elizabeth fought the temptation to reply with all the bitterness and resentment she had gathered in the last months. Her genuine concern for the two Darcys tempered her ire, but she could not completely refrain from responding.
“We are handling the lack of amusement as best we can, Miss Bingley, as are the other residents of Meryton. The regiment is not as much missed as you imply. However, all our neighbours missed Mr Bingley last winter, and we all wondered about his sudden departure and his continuing to remain in London.”
It was the Bingleys’ turn to be surprised, and Mr Bingley mumbled something with embarrassment. Miss Bingley, however, replied with the same disdainful tone.
“When one is accustomed to superior society and life in London, it can hardly be expected to tarry in the country for too long. It is rather dull, especially in such a small, insignificant place.”
“It was not dull to me, I assure you,” Mr Bingley managed to reply. “In fact, I always said that the time spent at Netherfield was the happiest of my life.”
“Oh Charles, you are too unsophisticated for your own good,” Mrs Hurst said, rolling her eyes. “You should choose your company and your reasons for happiness much more carefully.”
“This is nonsense,” Mr Bingley responded with asperity and more determination than usual.
“Happiness is a very personal matter. You cannot choose what and whose company makes you happy, it simply happens! The unrequited yearnings of your heart might make you unhappy, but disregarding them will not restore your happiness!”
“I believe you are correct,” Miss Darcy timidly interjected, then immediately blushed as though she was surprised by her own statement.
“I am glad you are able to understand me and agree with me,” Mr Bingley bowed to her. “I am certain there are things that Darcy cannot understand which make you happy, just like Louisa and Caroline cannot always understand my sources of happiness!”
“I heartily agree,” Elizabeth said. “I cannot always understand or agree with what makes my sisters happy, but I wish nothing but the best for them, just as I am sure Mr Darcy wishes the best for his sister.”
Her statement was not only an approval of Mr Bingley and Miss Darcy’s statements, and a little help offered to Darcy, but also an elegant barb to Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst, implying that they did not want the best for their brother.
And nobody in attendance was oblivious to her meaning, which angered the Bingley sisters even more.
“Wishing the best for a brother or sister does not mean allowing an infatuation to ruin their future or their family prospects! Young people easily fall in love and come to regret it sooner rather than later, but the consequences are often difficult to overcome and repair!” Miss Bingley declared.
A glance was enough for Elizabeth to observe that Miss Darcy was fighting an uneasiness she could hardly bear, while Darcy’s expression turned hard and inscrutable as he impetuously stood up.