Chapter 2 #2
“However, if you will allow me to make a suggestion, perhaps following Miss Bennet on this ride — she in the phaeton, with Georgiana and Mrs Gardiner near, and you alongside on horseback — would not provide you with the right opportunity to speak to her. What would you do? Chase after the phaeton, shouting to cover the horses’ hoofs?
I intend to invite her and her relatives to dinner again tomorrow evening.
I shall arrange for you to sit near her, so you will have an appropriate setting and enough time for any conversation you wish. ”
Bingley’s face brightened.
“Would you? Yes, yes, that is a wonderful idea. Much better, indeed. So, do you approve of me opening Netherfield again? I may write to my housekeeper immediately.”
“I do not approve of your haste in making any decision, Bingley,” Darcy smiled with more understanding than usual. “But I cannot fault your eagerness in remedying a wrong for which you are not guilty.”
“I am guilty, Darcy! I cannot deny that your advice weighed heavily in my decision to leave Netherfield, and I cannot excuse my sisters for their deception. But, in the end, I am the most to blame. I should have trusted my feelings more, and I should have judged Miss Bennet more accurately based on my own impressions and observations. I should have been more the kind of man worthy of Miss Bennet’s good opinion. ”
“Then allow me to share the blame with you, Bingley. I was not the kind of man worthy of Miss Bennet’s good opinion either,” Darcy admitted with a bitterness that Bingley mostly missed.
“Well then, it is all settled! Shall we have breakfast now? I am very hungry,” Bingley said enthusiastically.
“Indeed we shall. I am quite hungry myself,” Darcy answered. More than hungry though, he was both eager and nervous, impatiently counting the minutes until he might spot the Gardiners’ carriage bringing Elizabeth back. Back to Pemberley. Back to him.
∞∞∞
Elizabeth breathed in the fresh air of Pemberley Park in the summer, intoxicated by the scent, by the beautiful and colourful view, and not less affected by the muddle of feelings and thoughts that tightened the knot in her stomach.
She was going back to Pemberley, but this time by design, at the invitation of its master, with no doubts of their reception.
The Gardiners had been in wonder — and a bit suspicious at first, truth be admitted — of Mr Darcy’s generosity and amiability, and speculated about the reason behind such behaviour.
Eventually, they concluded there could be no other reason but a peculiar and long-standing admiration by the gentleman for their most deserving niece.
They attempted to question Elizabeth about the gentleman, but her answers were uncharacteristically subdued and hardly satisfying.
In the end, they respected her reluctance and ceased the enquiry, determined to observe the couple with further careful attention.
Regardless of the reason, the invitation to spend time at Pemberley flattered and honoured the Gardiners, and they decided to fully enjoy its benefits.
As the carriage passed the park gate, crossed into the stunning estate, and approached the house, Elizabeth’s heart pounded, and breathing became more difficult.
She was thrilled but still apprehensive of the moment she would face Mr Darcy again.
His handsome countenance had invaded her sleep, and dreaming of him the entire night had allowed her little rest.
Her struggle to find another explanation for his friendly and courteous manners failed, and she reluctantly admitted — although only to herself — that his affections for her seemed unchanged and unfaltering.
But was it possible? Could a man so horribly abused, rejected, and so deeply offended, forgive and forget — and consider renewing his proposal? Was that possible?
The notion, as improbable as it was, thrilled her more than anything else in her life previously, but prudence demanded her restraint and her thorough examination of the whole situation.
Was it possible that her own feelings could have suffered such a dramatic turn, that her wishes could have changed so utterly while he remained so loyal to his purpose? Was she so shallow while he was so steadfast? If so, was she even worthy of his ardent love — as he had called it himself?
Lost in her reflections, Elizabeth was startled when Mrs Gardiner called her name expectantly. Only then did she notice the carriage had stopped in front of Pemberley’s Palladian portico, and her heartbeat rose again.
Mr Gardiner jumped down, eager to indulge himself in his favourite activities. As he hastily helped his wife out of the carriage, Mr Darcy himself suddenly appeared in Elizabeth’s view.
She held her breath, staring at him, and it was not long before their eyes met and locked.
Her uncle called to her impatiently, but she was oblivious to everything else, all her attention focused on Darcy.
Eventually, he stopped near the carriage, greeted the Gardiners distractedly, and stretched out his hand to her.
“Miss Bennet…” he said, and his voice made her quiver.
“Mr Darcy…” she whispered, placing her hand in his strong palm while his fingers closed around it. When she stepped onto the ground, her knees betrayed her, and she almost fell, but his arms — strong but gentle — steadied her, offering both support and comfort.
“Welcome back to Pemberley, Miss Bennet. We are happy to have you again,” he said, so close to her that she could feel his warm breath.
“Thank you, sir. I am happy to be back,” she answered softly but sincerely.
“Allow me to escort you. My sister and Bingley are waiting for you,” Darcy continued, offering his arm to Elizabeth.
She took it with tingling fingers, walking by his side, nervous but delighted.
Darcy stopped for a moment, waiting for Mr and Mrs Gardiner, and Elizabeth found herself enraptured by the simple privilege of taking his arm and overjoyed for every moment she was spending near him.
Furthermore, she would rather stay there, she realised, in front of the house, on his arm, instead of visiting the beauty of the Pemberley grounds without him.
“Miss Bennet, Mrs Gardiner, I hope you are ready for the ride?” Mr Darcy asked.
“We are, very much so! And we are very grateful to you and Miss Darcy for making it happen,” Mrs Gardiner responded enthusiastically on behalf of them both, while Elizabeth slowly but reluctantly withdrew her hand from his arm.
She was ready for the ride, but not quite ready to leave his side — yet, she had to. But her heart eased slightly as she knew she would see him again soon.