Chapter 7 #2
She put the letter — a slip of paper holding the power to change so many lives — back on the table and glanced towards the window against which Darcy leant.
She watched his uncharacteristically defeated posture and slumped shoulders for several minutes, not wanting to interrupt his thoughts, until he eventually turned away from the window, looking expectant, waiting for her impressions.
For a long moment, Darcy and Elizabeth simply stared at each other, both too astonished to utter a single word, the letter lying open on the table, a sudden barrier between them.
The light-hearted delight and joy that had brightened their morning had swiftly turned into confusion and incredulity, the exhilaration into anger and guilt, just like dark clouds had suddenly covered the sun.
She found the fortitude to break the heavy silence — but what could be said when so much was felt?
What use might there be for words when feelings were so strong?
“I cannot fathom it… I know what we read, I understand the words, yet some of them I cannot comprehend…” Elizabeth finally whispered. “How is it possible? How could one dare…?”
“I…I would have never expected this…” Darcy swallowed thickly and continued more resolutely, “It is my fault alone. I allowed it to happen. I should have taken measures long ago.”
“No, you cannot blame yourself, Mr Darcy. No more than I blame myself for my poor judgment and ridiculous misplaced trust,” Elizabeth replied, fighting tears of shame and helplessness.
“I can and I do, Miss Bennet. I am to blame for this and much more. If only…” He hit his fist on the table, and the sound was as frightening as his dark countenance. Elizabeth startled and gasped, taking a step back.
He noticed and immediately turned to her, his voice changing utterly. “Forgive me, I did not mean to scare you. I shall find a way to remedy my wrongs, I promise. I will find a way to resolve it. That, I may promise you and myself,” he vowed.
“I am not scared, and I trust you will do everything that is possible and beyond. Yet before that, sir, if I may… Miss Darcy might have been persuaded and eloped by design. I cannot doubt that, since she obviously took some actions by herself and over such a long period. It was all premeditated, and surely with her consented involvement. But…”
“But?” he asked, torn between desolation and a glimmer of hope.
“Parts of this letter do not sound like Miss Darcy wrote them, at least not freely. It feels like someone has dictated some of the sentences, someone who knows how heavily they will weigh in your decision regarding future actions against them.”
“I fail to understand you, Miss Bennet.”
“You see, in the letter…here, for instance — the claim that your father mentioned to Georgiana that he would wish for her to find a husband like Wickham — surely this must be a fabrication! Wickham must have asked her to write it. Your sister was ten years old when your father passed away, if I remember correctly. Would your father speak of marriage to his daughter at that age and, seemingly, even earlier? And that reference to you not knowing the meaning of love,” she added, blushing as a fresh wave of guilt and remorse passed over her.
“No young lady with Miss Darcy’s sensible nature and gentle education would say that to her older brother! It simply cannot be!”
His interest seemed to increase, and his attention focused more. He stepped towards her, only inches away.
“What do you mean, Miss Bennet? Forgive me, but my mind is clouded. I am trying to think of a way to conceal this tragic situation from public knowledge until I have more details. I must protect as much as I can of Georgiana’s peace and reputation, although I know not much will be possible, and not for long. ”
“Yes, I understand that. I believe it is the right thing to do — to keep the entire matter secret until there is a resolution to it. What I meant is that Mr Wickham did persuade your sister, but with more deception and lies. I am ashamed to admit that I sense in her letter the same sentiments of compassion and complete trust that I entertained for that man a while ago. I believe I know how he did it, and perhaps it is not too late to change her decision.”
“What do you mean?” he insisted. “Change her decision? They must be on their way to Gretna Green now and will be married in a few days. Even if I found her — should I forcefully pull her back and lock her away? Keep her under guard for a few years? Or perhaps I could simply shoot Wickham! My cousin suggested doing that last summer — I regret I did not listen to him!”
“I am sure he wishes to marry her as soon as possible because Miss Darcy has everything he has ever wanted and chased after: name, fortune, and connections. I think she wishes to marry him because she was led to believe he has many attractive qualities that he only feigned: affection, loyalty, earnestness, constancy, honour, and the desire to improve himself for her sake. He knows Miss Darcy only too well and knew how to manipulate her trust since he has known her since she was born. She knows too little of his true character, mostly from her fond memories as a child.”
“True…”
“It is an unfair, purposely deceptive situation. Had she known the whole truth, had she been aware of his true nature and of his habit of seducing young women, she would not have agreed to even speak to him ever again!”
“You have sketched this tragic situation perfectly. Mayhap it was my fault for not revealing the whole truth to her. But how could I have related to my young sister Wickham’s string of debauchery, seductions, deceptions, forcing himself on maids, gambling, drinking, and so many others?
When? Last year before Ramsgate, she was not yet fifteen, I still thought her a child!
I would certainly not have told her about any of these things even if she were older.
This kind of behaviour is not for a gentle young lady’s knowledge.
Should I have told her that our father was wrong in his estimation?
That Wickham used them both for his own purposes?
He only let them both see what he wanted!
It was in my presence he was less guarded…
and now…now it is all too late. She will learn the painful truth when it is all too late!
How could I allow that to happen? I was blind, and wrong again, only this time someone else will suffer from my misgivings. ”
“Nobody could fault you for trying to protect your innocent sister! Nobody would have imagined Wickham capable of such impertinent audacity. To keep in touch with her since last summer’s attempt, after you ordered him, warned him to stay away!
And the colonel as well. His insolence is even greater than the fear of repercussions. ”
“He must be in desperate need of money again. I should have known he was capable of anything for his own comfort and to exact revenge!”
“Dear Lord, what was I thinking?” he whispered almost to himself.
He pulled himself together, and after taking a deep breath, he spoke with fierce determination.
“I cannot allow this to happen! Reputation and name be damned, I must find her and stop her! I must bring her back home. Miss Bennet, forgive me, I must leave, I do not have another instant to lose.”
She grasped his arm tightly, stopping him.
“Mr Darcy, only a moment, please. Let us calm down and decide the best course of action. You wish to follow them — I understand that! It is most important. But what about your guests? And how will you avoid the gossip spreading? Your name and Miss Darcy’s reputation need not suffer. And what should I do?”
He stopped for a while, looking seriously at her. She was close to him, her face upturned, trying to convey her own determination with her eyes.
“You are correct yet again, Miss Bennet, and I apologise for my thoughtlessness, but I am so angry that I would probably shoot Wickham without a second thought if he happened to face my pistol! Regardless, this will turn into a great scandal that will be the talk of London and beyond. But as I said, name and reputation are less important to me now. I only hope to save my sister from a life of misery. You and your relatives should leave Pemberley at once and distance yourselves from me before your name is tarnished by association.”
“Distance myself from you? You mistake me entirely, Mr Darcy, if you think that is what I meant! Nay, Sir! Quite the opposite — I am considering joining you in your quest! And if you hand me a pistol, I will readily shoot Mr Wickham myself!”
Elizabeth’s determined statement stunned Darcy speechless for a few seconds. Was she joking? If so, it was an unfortunate moment. Was she being serious? It seemed rather impossible.
“Miss Bennet, that would be unacceptable, of course. I thank you for your care, but I cannot allow you to expose yourself further to this situation. I shall remedy this mistake by myself.”
“Sir, hear me for a moment. You should not go alone — you could ask either Mr Bingley or my uncle to join you. They are both trustworthy people, loyal to you. But in order to better control this situation and the possibility of word being spread, Mr Bingley should maybe take care of his sisters. Perhaps he might be persuaded to return to London immediately, taking his sisters with him? You know him well enough to decide whether you can tell him the truth, but not them. My uncle is an excellent man who I trust with my life. Since Wickham has only seen him on one occasion and for a very short time, he might be useful to your search.”
She braced herself, turned her chin up a little, and looking him in the eye, spoke with all the assurance she could muster. “And I want to come too.”
Speaking thus, Elizabeth — with a clearer mind in the heat of the moment but equal care for Darcy and his sister — realised her suggestions piqued Darcy’s interest and curiosity, so she continued reasonably, “I would be of use to you too. If you find Miss Darcy and speak to her, in her highly emotional state she might not believe you, let alone listen to you. She might assume that you fabricated some of the stories you accuse Wickham of, only to scare and separate her from him. But I can tell her — even in the presence of Wickham! — of everything I know about his attempts to pursue Mary King for her dowry, and all the accusations he made against you. In these difficult circumstances, she might believe me more than you.”
Darcy listened to every word but was far from agreeing. He did trust Bingley and Mr Gardiner and understood he might not succeed without their support. But exposing Elizabeth to any danger was unacceptable to him. Still, some of her ideas had merit.
“These are worthy notions, and I thank you. Yet, I am not sure…It all sounds like a horrible mistake with no good solution. I shall send for Bingley. Can you please ask your uncle and aunt to join us? If we take this course of action, I shall also tell Mrs Reynolds the truth. She must know, in order to keep the servants under good regulation.”
A quarter of an hour later, on a morning that had started like a dream but turned into the worst misery imaginable, Elizabeth had relayed the shocking news to the stunned Gardiners, and all three of them approached the library, where Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley were engaged in a heated discussion.
“I have already informed my uncle and aunt — briefly,” Elizabeth said.
“And I have spoken to Bingley, as you suggested,” Darcy replied.
“I shall speak to my sisters immediately. I shall inform them that Miss Darcy has caught an illness — probably from the tenants — and she might be contagious. I shall convey that the doctor insisted she should not be in company for at least a week and that it would be safest for us to leave Pemberley immediately. My sisters will not question it any further.”
Mr Bingley made the statement with such seriousness and gravity that nobody could doubt his words.
“I am ready to join you on your journey to Gretna Green, Mr Darcy,” Mr Gardiner said. “If anybody asks, I am going to visit some distant relatives and am taking my niece with me.”
“Do you think that would be wise, Mr Gardiner? Would Mr Bennet approve?” Darcy asked with legitimate concern.
“I take full responsibility for that, Mr Darcy. I shall make arrangements for my wife to remain in Lambton, to spend more time with her own relatives until we return.”
“I may also help Mrs Annesley and Mrs Reynolds if they need my assistance,” Mrs Gardiner intervened.
Darcy paced the library, thinking and over thinking everything they knew and had been discussed. He was agitated, uncertain of his actions and decisions as he rarely had ever been. But he could not think of another course of action for now, and time was being wasted.
“So — all is settled? We are all in agreement?” he asked, glancing at his companions.
“All is settled. We shall all return to the inn now. Oh, and Mr Darcy? Perhaps we should travel in my carriage so it will not be recognised if we happen upon Wickham?” Mr Gardiner suggested.
“It is not so large, nor so elegant or comfortable as yours, but it can easily accommodate four people. You may, however, take another coachman, besides mine.”
“Good idea! Good thinking! Excellent!” Mr Bingley readily approved.
“Well then, goodbye for now. I am going to wake and hurry my sisters to prepare for the journey. I shall wait for good news, Darcy. And I hope to see you all soon at Netherfield,” he addressed the Gardiners.
“Oh, and Darcy? Shoot that damn bastard! Not to kill him, perhaps in the leg, or shoulder. Enough to make him suffer for at least a month before he recovers.”
Mr Bingley’s outburst was completely out of character, as it was hard to believe such words of violence could have come out of his mouth. But — as surprised as they were — everyone in the library agreed with him heartily.
Not one full hour later, the Gardiners and Elizabeth were returned to the inn, Mr Bingley had explained the situation and demanded his sisters make haste and gather their things, while Darcy was deep in conversation with Mrs Reynolds and his loyal valet.
A small trunk was already waiting, and on top of it, in a closed chest, was a pistol.