Chapter Twelve
Sarah was beginning to wonder if she’d done the right thing in delaying her journey.
Although Brandon had been released from the asylum after he’d proven that he understood their questions, she sensed a darkness in him.
He’d spoken on several occasions about killing everyone in the Andrews family—starting with Paul Fraser and his wife, Juliette.
Her earlier relief at his recovery had now turned to fear.
She didn’t know her brother anymore, and he appeared emotionless, as if he frankly didn’t care about the consequences of his actions.
Though she didn’t want to believe he would go through with his plans for murder, his calculating demeanor gave her pause.
She’d found a scrap of paper among his belongings, with every Andrews name listed upon it, including the other three sisters, Lady Lanfordshire, and her husband, the baron.
A coldness settled in her bones, for her brother spoke of killing in the same manner as disposing of an irritating insect. Brandon knew exactly how to appear calm and composed, speaking the right words to the authorities, until he’d reestablished his claim upon the title and entailed lands.
If she remained here with him, she could be implicated in whatever crimes he committed.
Sarah closed her eyes, trying to think of how she could slip away.
She still had the funds and jewels Amelia had given her, but it didn’t sit well on her conscience to disappear without warning them.
But how? She couldn’t very well travel to Scotland.
Perhaps it was best if she wrote to them. She could—
“You seem nervous, Sarah,” came Brandon’s voice.
She took a breath and faced him. With a false smile, she said, “Not at all. But I was thinking we should return to Strathland and see what’s happened to the estate there.
Our cousin took control while you were…away…
and I don’t know what decisions he made in your absence.
And there’s the estate in the Highlands as well. ”
“As it happens, I do intend to travel to Scotland,” he said. “I’ll be visiting Edinburgh first.”
The blood drained away from her face, for that was not far from where Juliette and Dr. Fraser lived. For many years, her brother had obsessed over Juliette Andrews, but the young woman had run away and married the Scottish doctor. Brandon had never forgotten it.
“Oh?” She tried to act as if it were nothing. “And how long will you be gone?”
“That doesn’t matter to you, for you’ll be accompanying me.”
No. She could play no part in this. “Brandon, I have plans of my own. I’m leaving within the week.”
His expression curved into a smirk. “No. You won’t.” He made a hand motion for someone to enter, and when Sarah turned around, she saw a tall man approaching. He closed in on her, seizing both of her arms until she cried out in pain.
“You’re going to pay a call on Juliette, on my behalf.”
“Why would I want to?” she gritted out, well aware that the man behind her could easily break her arms.
“Because if you don’t, I’ll let Richardson have you. You can spend the entire journey to Scotland in a coach with him, and I’ll wager he’ll enjoy it more than you will.”
The man’s hot breath made her skin crawl, and Sarah demanded, “Release me.”
At a nod from Brandon, he did. But she strongly suspected her brother had hired the man to help him kill the others. She had to run away from both of them, and today would be her only chance.
“I’ll go and pack,” she informed him. But inwardly, she prayed she could slip away before either of them knew she was missing.
After saying farewell to Christine, David paused at the bottom of the stairs. Though he knew Amelia had been looking for him, he wanted a moment to clear his head. It was necessary to leave, for he did need to inspect Thornwyck and his other estates.
The sadness in his daughter’s eyes had reminded him of Amelia’s accusation, that he abandoned her too often. And he was avoiding his wife, too.
He admitted to himself that he would miss her. Not only the life she’d breathed into him, but her smile and the way she filled the empty spaces. If he didn’t leave now, he would come to depend upon her. He would undoubtedly fall in love with Amelia.
And he didn’t want to cross that line—not again.
He started to leave the house, and Mrs. Larson interrupted, “Lord Castledon, will you be wanting any food to take with ye on your journey?” She offered to go and fetch him something, but David refused.
“Not now, thank you. But you can see to it that the footmen load my trunks into the coach for departure. I’ll be leaving to go north in the next hour or two.”
The older woman’s face dimmed, but she curtseyed. “Are ye certain I shouldna be packing Lady Castledon’s belongings as well? I can speak to her maid, if ye like.”
“No. I’ll be going alone to Thornwyck.” He turned away and ordered a horse from the stables. Before he left, he wanted to ride to the edges of his estate, simply to escape the wayward thoughts in his brain.
When the horse was ready, his groom helped him to mount the gelding, and David urged it onward. Outside the air was ghostly, the grass cloaked in mist. He rode without thinking, directing the animal to go faster.
His mind turned over the image of Amelia, of her smile and the way she stood up to him at every turn.
She was so very different from Katherine.
The image of his first wife’s face haunted him, and he closed his eyes, forcing it back.
He’d had enough of this. He had to relinquish the memories, or he’d fall into madness.
I’m letting you go, he told her ghost.
David increased the pace, turning back toward the house.
He hardly cared that the landscape was blurring past them at immense speed.
The horse stumbled abruptly, and David had no time to grasp the reins before he fell hard.
The gelding whinnied and rolled for a moment before getting back up.
He breathed a little easier when he saw that the animal appeared uninjured.
He sat up and saw blood running down over his palms. His body ached from the fall, and for long moments, he remained sitting on the ground. A few minutes later, Amelia arrived at his side.
“I saw you fall. Are you all right?” she asked. Her hair was undone around her shoulders, and it appeared that she’d been running hard.
He remained transfixed by the blood on his palms, and he took a steadying breath. “It’s nothing.”
Amelia knelt down beside him and took his hand. “You could have broken your neck,” she said, fear creasing her face. “I was so worried about you.” She gave him a handkerchief, and he wiped at the blood. For a moment, he held on to the stained bit of linen.
“Mrs. Larson said you’re leaving.” Her face was pale with dismay. “I wish you would take us with you.”
The urge was there, to tell her yes. And yet, when he looked into her deep green eyes, he saw the face of a woman who was in love with him.
If he asked her to go into a searing desert, she would.
She reached up to touch his cheek, and he looked past her, stroking the back of her hair.
He should have known this might happen. He’d never intended to hurt Amelia—had never wanted to.
But he honestly didn’t want to be in love again. He wasn’t worthy of such devotion, and it was best to separate himself. He no longer trusted his ability to remain apart from her.
“I can’t take you along,” he said. “Not this time.”
His groom arrived on horseback then, saving him the trouble of saying anything more. The man took one look at them and reddened. “My lord, I am sorry to disturb you, but your coach is ready to depart.”
“Thank you.” He took Amelia by the hand. “Lady Castledon and I will walk back. Tell my daughter I would like to see her once more before I leave.”
After the groom had left, Amelia held back from walking toward the house. Her face appeared shielded, as if she were suppressing her emotions.
“May I speak frankly, Lord Castledon?”
So. They were back to formal terms again. “You always do,” he felt compelled to answer.
She gripped her hands together. “I don’t want to be the left-behind wife. I want to be at your side, learning what I need to know about all of our properties.”
“It’s nothing you need to worry about.”
“Then what do I need to worry over? You don’t want me to make any changes in the household, and I’m not allowed to even see the other estates.
You make me feel like a paper doll, good for nothing more than decoration.
” Her eyes were glittering with frustration.
“I won’t let you brush me aside. Especially not after the way you make me feel when we’re together. ”
He didn’t know what to say anymore. She did make him feel, more than he had in the past six years. And he didn’t want to go through that madness again.
“We agreed that our marriage would be an arrangement,” he said, even knowing that the words were cruel.
“I have provided for your needs, and in time, we may have an heir of our own. But don’t lift up your hopes for more, Amelia.
” His hands tightened upon her shoulders.
“I lost one wife, and it nearly killed me to watch her die. I won’t go through that again. ”
“I have no intention of dying,” she said softly. “I’m perfectly healthy.”
“So was she. And the sickness came without warning. She was dead within five months.” He released her, quickening his pace so she had no choice but to keep up with him. “You are a good woman, Amelia, with a large heart. Give your love to Christine. Not to me, for I can’t return it.”
“You won’t return it,” she countered. “You won’t let anyone inside that stone heart of yours.”
He stopped walking and stared at her. “You want more than I’m capable of giving.”
“And what about the nights we’ve shared?” she demanded. “Were they worth nothing to you?” Her face paled as if afraid of his answer.