Chapter Fifteen #2
“I believe that we are well suited to each other,” he began. “It might not have been the marriage you dreamed of, but you have a good home, enough money to spend however you like, and all of your freedom.”
“I never cared about money,” she reminded him. “And I thought that this…existence…would be enough for me, once. It isn’t now.”
The flat sincerity in her voice brought another ripple of unease. She sounded as if she truly meant to leave, no matter what he said. Damn it all, he was making a mess of this. He laced his fingers with hers, as if the physical gesture could stop her.
But maybe he could say the words she wanted. He would say anything if it meant keeping her here.
“What if I told you that I do love you?” The words felt foreign on his tongue, as if it were another man saying them.
But the moment he spoke, they felt right.
It was as if the years of ice had cracked apart, filling him with a strange sense of purpose.
There was relief in admitting it to her, and the more he thought of it, the more he realized that he wasn’t giving her false words.
He did love her. His earlier belief, that he was incapable of loving a woman again, was blatantly wrong. His love for Amelia wasn’t less than his love for Katherine—it was equal in a different way.
Amelia had given him strength when he’d had nothing left. He’d needed her desperately, and she hadn’t shied away from him when he’d been at his worst.
Perhaps logic wasn’t the way to a woman’s heart at all. Perhaps it was about loving her and telling her so.
“You’re just saying that.” Amelia let go of his hand, dismissing his declaration as if he’d told her it was going to rain.
But no, this was more. So much more.
“I don’t want a husband who pretends I don’t exist, whenever problems happen.
” She started to pace across the garden, and he rather liked the way her hair was falling out of its arrangement, her green eyes filled with fire.
She was a beautiful woman, and one who never failed to speak her mind. He’d always liked that about her.
“Well?” she demanded.
David blinked, not realizing he’d been supposed to answer that. He’d been contemplating the best way to show her he cared.
“I wasn’t trying to ignore you,” he said. “It was a terrible week, and if I was inattentive, it was because I was afraid of losing Christine.”
Her expression grew pained. “It wasn’t that I needed attention, David. I wanted to ease your pain, to share it between us. Don’t you think I worried about her, too?”
He knew she had, for she’d been as exhausted as he was. Every hour that his daughter had fought for her life, he’d looked across the bed, and Amelia had been there. “I’m not explaining myself well.”
“No, you’re not.” But she stopped pacing and waited for him to try again. That, at least, gave him hope. He was reaching the end of his list of arguments, and he decided that Dr. Fraser was right. Women were far too complicated, and words weren’t going to get him anywhere at all.
“I’ve made mistakes,” he admitted. “I’ll likely make many more in the next few years. But give it time, and our marriage will be just fine.”
“I don’t want our marriage to be just fine,” Amelia countered. “I want it to be wonderful.” Her voice was wistful with longing. “I want you to kiss me as if you love me. I want you to smile and enjoy the life we have together. And I want to share your bed at night and awaken with you beside me.”
“I can give you that,” he said quietly. But Amelia appeared unconvinced.
She let out a sigh and offered, “I suppose, to you, a good wife sits in the corner and embroiders handkerchiefs. That isn’t the woman I am.”
“I would never expect that of you,” he pointed out. “But neither am I a knight, charging up on a white horse, to sweep you away to live in a castle.” He didn’t want her creating illusions about what their life would be like.
“I’m not a young girl who still believes in those things,” she said. “But you did save me from Lord Lisford.”
Her reminder gave him a reason to hope. “The man was going to ruin you. You didn’t deserve what he did.” He glanced around him. “I don’t suppose you deserved this, either. But you’re trapped here, and that’s the end of it.”
She wasn’t going anywhere. Not if he had to chain her to his side.
“Trapped?” She frowned, and he sat down where they had shared a picnic only a few days earlier.
“Yes. You made the decision to wed me, and I’m not allowing you to leave. Especially if you love me.”
Her face was flushed and incredulous that he’d changed his tack. “I could change my mind. I might not really love you.”
“But you do.” He crooked his finger. “Come here, Amelia.”
“No, I won’t. I’m leaving with Juliette and Lord Falsham within the hour.”
In a sudden move, he stood and caught her around the waist. “You’ll be too busy to go with them.”
“Doing what?”
He drew her close and murmured against her mouth. “Embroidering handkerchiefs.” His hands moved up her spine, and he appreciated the lush curve of her hips, and the way her body fitted to his.
“Have you lost your mind?”
He was beginning to think that he had. It was far better to simply take command of her and do as he pleased than to try and justify it to her. He wanted Amelia to stay with him, and stay she would.
“I hate embroidering,” she said.
But then he moved his hands to her breasts and flicked the tips with his thumbs. “No, you don’t. You like it quite a lot.”
Her mouth dropped open as she suddenly caught his hidden meaning.
David seized his opportunity and kissed her hard.
He gave her no opportunity to argue with him, not after all that they’d been through together.
For so long, he’d mistakenly believed she was little more than a girl, unable to accept the responsibilities of caring for a household.
She had proven herself to be a more commanding woman than Katherine, taking charge of what she wanted.
Just as he was doing now.
“Th-that’s not embroidery,” she stammered as he slid his tongue into her mouth, cutting off further arguments. The thin muslin she wore revealed curves that he wanted to explore intimately.
“It isn’t?” He hardly cared that they were in the garden where anyone could happen upon them. “There’s a gamekeeper’s cottage not far from here,” he suggested. “Though I might have destroyed it.”
“What are you doing, David?” she murmured against his mouth. Her lips were swollen from his kisses, and she looked utterly desirable.
“Showing you all the attention you should have had when I was otherwise distracted.” He nipped at her lips. “I’m not very good with words.”
“You’re better at actions,” Amelia agreed.
She leaned in and kissed him softly, and the touch of her mouth was a physical reassurance.
He crushed her in his embrace, and the warmth of her arms broke through the ice of his solitude.
He wasn’t used to her unreserved affection, but his lonely soul reveled in it.
“If you hadn’t been there this past week, I would have lost myself,” he admitted. Pressing a lock of her hair back, he added, “That’s what a real marriage is, Amelia. Loving someone enough that you don’t run from the worst moments.”
“Why did you keep pushing me away?” she whispered.
“Because I was afraid of how much I’ve come to love you. I felt like I was dishonoring Katherine by letting myself feel again. I should have known it would be impossible to stay apart from a woman like you.”
The need to touch her again was a visceral force, pulling him closer. He hardly cared where they were—he wanted to push away the shadows of death and hold fast to this woman. He lost himself, kissing her hard until their tongues mingled.
“Stay with me,” he commanded.
She lifted her green eyes to his. “Convince me.”
The glint in her expression only magnified the urge to be wicked. “All right.”
He sat and pulled her onto his lap, keeping her legs sideways. He caressed her spine, his hand drifting to the edge of her skirts.
“David, no. I didn’t mean that. Someone might come and see us.” Her face had gone crimson, and he fumbled with her skirts until he could reach beneath them.
“They won’t see anything,” he swore. “And if they do come, all they’ll discover is a wife seated upon her husband’s lap.”
His words were like a match, flaring a pulse of need within her.
Amelia was torn between curiosity and horror that he would indeed make love to her in the garden.
Her fears came to fruition when his hand reached beneath her skirts, rearranging them over his lap.
He found the seam of her intimate opening, brushing against her curls.
She was shocked by the way her wanton flesh responded to his touch.
“David—”
“What?” He caressed her intimately, exploring her sensitive opening with his hands.
She was taken aback by the way he was coaxing such a reaction.
“It’s no different than what you did to me in the coach that night, on our journey here.
” He invaded her with his fingers, and she suppressed a moan of pleasure.
“You offered yourself to me on the day I destroyed the cottage. I’m simply going to accept your invitation now. ”
Her body was melting against his fingers, achingly wet as he found the nodule above her opening and began to rub it.
“You’re being very wicked,” she whispered, her hands digging into his trousers.
“But you love me anyway.”
Yes. Yes, I do.
With her skirts covering his lap, no one could see what he was doing. They were utterly alone, and the thought of him taking her right here was shocking.
“Do you want me now, Amelia?” To underscore his words, he began entering and withdrawing from her with his fingers.
“Yes.” She was drowning in sensation, lost with the way he was touching her. She leaned down to kiss him hard, trying to arouse the same feelings in him.
She did love this man, no matter that he’d isolated himself in the past. At this moment, he was giving her his undivided attention, and she could hardly bear it.
He shifted his hand a moment, and at first, she didn’t know what he was doing. Then she realized he’d unbuttoned his trousers and had freed his erection. Against her wet flesh, she felt the hard length of his shaft.
“W—we shouldn’t,” she breathed. “Anyone could come and see us.” But she pressed against the arms of the chair, lifting slightly until he could fit himself inside her. The moment he was buried within, she felt another surge of need.
A shattered breath caught her, and she couldn’t resist the urge to squeeze his length. Not only did he pull her hips tightly to him, but he murmured in her ear, “God, I love it when you do that.”
He urged her to lift up and sit on him again. The sensation was breathtaking in a position she’d never tried before. Though it took her a moment to find the rhythm, she grasped his shoulders and pressed herself against him.
“I don’t think a fairy-tale husband would do this,” she said, arching as he began to pump inside her.
“The villain might,” he countered with a strong thrust. Her body convulsed against him, and she squeezed him again. “If he’s ravishing the woman he wants.”
“This is too dangerous,” she warned, trying to hold back the storm of desire building. Being here with him, in this garden where anyone could happen upon them, only heightened every sensation. She could feel the thick hardness of him as he entered and withdrew.
“You’d better ride me fast, then,” he told her. “Before we’re found.” He gripped her waist, urging her to find the right pace, and Amelia sighed while he filled her. The intimacy of being joined with the man she loved evoked an emotion so strong, her eyes stung.
She was losing control, unable to grasp any more thoughts.
He kissed her roughly, thrusting against her as she accepted his body into her own.
It was fast and hard, a reckless lovemaking that she’d never expected her quiet husband to initiate.
Her breathing was coming faster, and his hands suddenly were everywhere.
Not only at her hips, but he filled his palms with her breasts, fingering the nipples beneath the muslin.
Her chemise was made of a flimsy lace, and she could feel his touch burning her like a brand.
He jerked against her, and in time, her body slipped over the edge in a violent rush. He kissed her to silence the broken cry, and continued lifting her up and down until she provoked his own release.
It was a swift pleasure, one that made her want to go back to the house and do it all over again. Her hair was tangled around her shoulders, her body utterly sated.
“You were right. Someone’s coming after all.” David buttoned his trousers again and moved her off his lap.
Amelia’s knees buckled as she held the chair for balance. “I can’t believe what we just did. I never dreamed that a man and a woman would ever risk that.”
He stood up, kissing her again and pulling her to his side. “I would risk it with you.”
She leaned back, taking his face between her hands. “Do you promise?”
He nodded. Then abruptly his expression shifted as he shoved her down, and the deafening sound of a gunshot interrupted their reverie.
Amelia screamed when she saw a bloodstain widening across David’s shirt.