Chapter 2 #2
With that cheery thought, I finish my tea and start my work for the day.
The next day, I take the opportunity of Tobias’s absence to practise some mounted archery on the back of my pony, Bean, after finishing my chores.
The rhythmic sound of hooves pounding against the cold, hard ground is soothing to my soul as we gallop around the field. Having practised this for over seven months, my shots are accurate as I do several loops through the course I have set up before I call it a day.
The sun is setting, casting soft pinks, oranges and purples across the cloudless sky. I take a moment to gaze at it before settling Bean back in her field for the night. While feeding the ponies, Ketchup, the magpie I nursed back to health six months ago, lands on the fence and squawks at me.
I roll my eyes and finish with the horses before walking over to rub her neck. She chirps and leans into my touch. While I wouldn’t class her as a pet—she’s far too independent—the magpie has all but decided that I’m her favourite human. Just as long as I continue to give her pets and food.
Done with receiving attention, Ketchup pecks at my hand before fluttering away to wherever she spends the night. I stare at the sunset for a moment longer before heading into the cottage.
As I step inside, I frown. Tobias should have been back by now, but the only person in the kitchen is Lauren. She’s preparing dinner while humming a song I don’t recognise under her breath.
She pauses when she sees me and flicks her gaze to the darkening sky. “Have you heard from Tobias?” she asks.
I shake my head and place my radio on the table. It’s not the best thing in the world, but it enables us to stay in contact with Tobias whenever he leaves the cottage. As long as he’s within range, of course.
“No, nothing. I’m guessing he got caught up with something. Or the battery in his radio died again.” I shrug and try to appear calm, but inside I’m in knots.
Tobias has never been this late home. Zombies become even more dangerous at night, with enhanced eyesight, speed and strength. It’s something Tobias found out the hard way a month after the apocalypse.
“I don’t like how long he’s been, Ollie,” Lauren says, her voice wavering.
No point worrying about what could happen. Focus on the present, I tell myself as I push aside my panic. If Tobias is in trouble, there’s nothing either of us can do for him right now. It’s best just to wait and hope he comes back soon.
“He’s probably fine,” I tell her as I rub her shoulder. “Let’s finish cooking dinner. I’m sure he’ll be back by the time we’re done.”
Lauren presses her lips together, but she doesn’t argue, and the two of us fall into silence as Lauren prepares dinner. Although this draws attention to the dwindling supply of food we have left and the entire reason Tobias left.
By the time Lauren finishes making dinner, it’s dark outside and my brother still hasn’t appeared.
Both of us are getting antsy; Lauren’s barely touched her soup and staring at it like it’ll give her the answers to the universe.
Meanwhile, I can’t sit still and, having finished my small bowl, I busy myself by cleaning up.
“What if something has happened to him?” Lauren says as her spoon clatters into her bowl.
Fear eats away inside me, and my guts twist into knots.
The beginnings of panic squeeze my chest, but I refuse to give in to it.
One thing my therapist emphasised is that there’s no point panicking over what ifs.
I pause and glance over my shoulder at her.
“We don’t know that. He might have stayed at Andy’s overnight. ”
“He’s never done that before, though.” Worry lines her pale face.
“I know, but we’ve only been trading Andy for six months. There’s a first time for everything.”
She looks no more convinced than I feel.
I sigh. “How about we wait until morning and then if he’s still not back, I’ll…” I swallow hard, both terrified and excited by what I’m about to say. “I’ll go out and look for him.”
There’s heavy relief on Lauren’s face at my words. “Thank you, Ollie. I know I should be the one to go after him, but…” She bites her lip and presses a hand to her stomach. “I don’t want to risk it.”
And then it dawns on me; the reason for the weird looks earlier and her wanting to know how long Tobias was going to be. She’s fucking pregnant.
See, she’s a proper woman. She can have a kid. She’s not broken like you. The insidious voice in my head takes the form of my ex-fiancé and leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I push it aside with gritted teeth.
Being rendered sterile at the tender age of fourteen has given me plenty of time to come to terms with the lack of children in my future. And while I don’t mind that I’ll never have kids—I never wanted them—I hate how people—especially men—treat me once they learn I’m sterile.
Even now, I can see Lauren’s pitying look pointed straight at me as she continues to stroke her flat stomach. “I know this is a shock, but I took a couple of tests last week and they’re all positive.”
I wave her off. “It’s fine. Congrats, I guess. Did he know before he left?”
She nods. “I told him after I took the tests.”
Shit, now I really have to fight the rising tide of panic threatening to crash over me.
Not only is our food situation and the potential of Tobias missing weighing on me, but now there’s going to be a fucking baby.
Nothing better have happened to the bastard because I am not ready to help raise his kid.
And if something has, then it’ll be my job to track his ass down and drag him back.