Chapter 17
Fake it 'til you Make it
Olivia
“Olivia? Is that really you?”
Fuck. This is not good. Not good at all. And to make matters worse, he’s coming over here, wearing the same stupid smile I thought was so attractive when I was eighteen. Now it looks more like a twisted grimace than a seductive smile.
But even though it’s been seven years since the fucker broke my heart and then stomped all over it, it’s still a punch to the gut to see him.
He’s lost the boyish handsomeness of youth and there are wrinkles lining his face.
The apocalypse has aged him just like it has everyone else, making him appear ten years older than he actually is.
He’s also leaner than he was at nineteen and his middle is softer compared to the cut lines he had as a university student.
Maybe if he hadn’t hurt me, I’d still find him attractive, but even then he pales compared to the three men I’ve been travelling with for the past few days. Speaking of which…
I tear my gaze away from the ghost of my past to see all three of the guys staring at me with a mixture of shock, curiosity and…
yep, Rhys looks pissed. No surprise there.
He probably thinks I lied to them at some point because what are the damn chances I’ll run into a fucking ex-boyfriend in a place like this?
And the fucker is still eagerly sauntering over to me. Fuck!
Panic seizes my mind. I don’t want to talk to him.
Hell, I don’t want to be breathing the same damn air as him because I know what he’s like.
This is a man who doesn’t take no for an answer.
It was the entire reason I agreed to date him in the first place, since it was the only way to get him to back off.
What a mistake that was.
There’s only one way I’m going to get him to fuck off.
I grab Theo’s arm and drag him close to me.
“Pretend to be my boyfriend,” I whisper to him and pray that he does as I ask because I don’t want to ask the others.
Alex would ask too many questions—ones I’m not prepared to answer—and I’m pretty sure Rhys would prefer to gargle glass than pretend to be my partner. So Theo it is.
The man in question widens his eyes at me and I can see that he wants to know why. Thankfully, he just nods, wraps an arm around my shoulders, and tucks me against his side. The heat from his body sinks into my skin, and I melt into his embrace.
When’s the last time someone held me like this? Maybe at college? It sure as shit wasn’t when I was with my ex-fiancé and the guys I dated during university were massive cunts. How sad is it that I don’t remember experiencing something as simple as being held by someone.
“Holy shit, it really is you,” the massive cunt says, having reached our little group.
I grimace. “Yeah, hi, Ethan,” I say, not even bothering to inject any emotion into my tone. Fucker deserves nothing from me.
He doesn’t get the memo because his face lights up when I say his name. “You do remember me,” he says, his voice dipping to what I imagine is supposed to be a sultry purr.
It does nothing to me except piss me off. “Unfortunately,” I deadpan, but that does little to deter his flirting.
“Well, you’re looking good. Really good.” He licks his lips as his eyes scan my body. “You planning on staying longer than a night? I could make it worth your while.” He waggles his eyebrows.
My nose wrinkles in disgust. “I’d rather feed myself to a horde of zombies than have anything to do with you,” I say, struggling to keep the old hurt and anger from my voice.
He rears back and blinks, shocked by my reaction. Does he think I forgot how he dropped me like a bad fucking smell the moment he spotted someone new to pursue? “Olivia, babe, don’t—”
“Have I introduced you to my boyfriend, Theo?” I blurt out, since telling him no isn’t getting me anywhere. Not that I expected it to.
Someone makes a choking sound beside me—probably Rhys—as Ethan rips his gaze from me to blink at the man I’m cuddled up to as if he’s only just noticed he’s there. “Oh.” His eyes narrow at the arm wrapped around my shoulders.
Theo, who has been silent all this time—another reason why I picked him over the others—smiles at Ethan and holds out his other hand.
“Good to see you again, mate,” he says as the two men shake hands.
“Although, can’t say that Ollie’s ever mentioned you.
” There’s a warning bite to his voice, which compliments the feral tint to his smile.
“Well, why would I? It’s not like I expected to run into an ex while out here,” I say with a shrug and a razor sharp smile of my own.
Ethan frowns, the flirty twinkle gone from his eyes. Good. “You never mentioned having a girlfriend the last time you were here, Theo.”
Theo shrugs and turns to press his lips against the top of my head. My scalp tingles at the contact and I have to try really fucking hard not to react. “It’s new.”
Alex snorts. “Very new.”
I shoot him a glare, silently telling him to shut the fuck up.
I don’t need Ethan getting suspicious about the validity of my relationship with Theo.
It would defeat the entire purpose of all this.
And honestly, I hate the idea of Ethan knowing that even after all this time, I’m still single and alone, just like he said I would.
I don’t want him to know that his cruel parting words from all those years ago still ring true.
Holy fuck, am I pathetic.
“Well, since everyone is well acquainted with one another, how about I show you guys where you can get something to eat,” Mark says, having just shown up. He’s an older gentleman, with salt and pepper hair and piercing blue eyes. “And you can tell why the hell you four are all the way out here.”
“Sounds good, although Ollie will need somewhere to put her horse for the night,” Rhys says, taking charge like he always does.
Mark glances over at Bean and nods. “We have a small paddock you can use.” He turns and walks down the perimeter of the crude wood and metal fence that surrounds the Lodge.
All of us follow, and I breathe a sigh of relief when Ethan stays next to the gate. The less time I spend with that cunt, the better.
“Are you okay?” Theo asks softly, his hot breath fanning against my neck.
I shiver and nod. “Yeah, I’m fine. The guy is just a prick is all,” I reply as casually as I can while reminding my traitorous body that Theo is only pretending to be my boyfriend. Even if it feels right to be cuddled up to his side or to have his lips pressed against my skin. It means nothing.
“True. We’ve always thought Ethan was a massive twat. I’m just glad we refused to allow his entry into Haven.”
“Haven?” I glance up at him with a furrowed brow.
“It’s the name of the settlement we’re from, off the south coast of Wales.”
Understanding dawns. “Right, I remember you telling me about it just before I agreed to come with you guys.” I pause. “What’s it like there?”
Theo’s eyes flare with surprise. It’s the first time I’m showing interest in any of their lives.
“Well, it was a holiday park before shit hit the fan, so there’s a ton of accommodation.
Mostly caravans, but there are a couple of cabins and chalets that are newer, all of which are powered by solar panels.
A small wind farm the owners installed on the beach next to the park runs the rest of the place. ”
His gaze turns wistful. “It’s a beautiful place.
Calm, quiet, safe. You’d never know that there’s an apocalypse happening beyond the walls.
” His expression morphs into a frown. “But it can be stifling. There’s over a hundred people living there now and they can get nosy when there’s nothing much to do.
And while it’s safe, it can get boring doing the same thing day in, day out. ”
As he speaks, I think back to my little cottage and the simple life I was living before I started this journey.
I expect to miss the place or feel homesick, but I don’t.
All I feel is… relief. And excitement at the adventure I’m on.
Granted, it’s more of a suicide mission than a fun-filled adventure, but it’s different from the monotony that my life was before this.
It’s honestly a revelation. Before the world ended, I never thought of myself as the adventurous type.
I often preferred to stay at home to read or watch documentaries rather than go out, which pissed my ex-fiancé off to no end.
And yet here I am, enjoying the unpredictability of life outside my safe little cottage.
Or maybe it’s just the company I’m keeping.
“What about you?” Theo asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “What’s your home like?”
My immediate reaction is to brush him off and turn to safer topics, but I stop myself.
It’s only right I share something of myself since he agreed to help me with Ethan.
“It’s just a small cottage in the middle of nowhere.
My nearest neighbour is about two miles down a small country lane.
It’s… quiet at the cottage, simple. Monotonous. ”
Theo hums in understanding. “I get that. Sometimes we need something more to our lives than just survival.”
“Easier said than done.”
“True, but I imagine that’s probably why you were so eager to go after your brother.”
I shake my head. “No, I wouldn’t exactly call myself eager to go get myself killed trying to save him.
” I hesitate, wondering how I can explain it to him.
“Tobias has always been there for me during my darkest days, but sometimes I feel that’s all he’s ever going to see me as; a broken girl in need of care.
I want him to see that I’m not her, that I’m capable of more.
” Even if I’m still that broken girl. I keep that part to myself.
This is the most I’ve probably ever shared with anyone, and I feel exposed in a way I’ve never experienced before. It’s disconcerting. I try to pull away, but Theo tightens his hold around me and keeps me pressed against his side.
“In the few days I’ve known you, not once have I seen a broken girl. All I see is a beautiful and strong woman who’s more than capable of taking care of herself and others.”
I shift, uncomfortable with how personal this conversation has become.
I don’t know how to react to his words. While I’m touched that he thinks I’m beautiful and capable, I don’t truly feel like that.
I’m also panicking because this is the opposite of what I should be doing.
I should maintain my emotional distance from these men and yet here I am, getting up close and personal with one of them.
Fuck. I knew this was a bad idea.
Theo must sense my panic because he thankfully lightens the mood. “Although I’m sure Rhys will disagree a little with me. He’d probably call you insufferable, irritating or a pain in his ass. As well as more colourful curse words,” he says with a chuckle.
I roll my eyes and relax now that the conversation has steered into safer territory. “The feeling is mutual.”
We arrive at a row of paddocks, only half of which are in use. Sheep, a few cows and two horses happily graze, barely paying attention to us as Mark motions to one of the smaller paddocks that’s overgrown with thick grass. Perfect for Bean.
“The grass in there should be enough, but there’s some hay if you need it and there’s a bucket ready to be filled with water from the hand pump behind us.”
I get to work settling Bean down for the night, not wanting to keep everyone waiting.
Once I’m done, Mark leads us back around to the car parking area of the motorway services that’s bustling with activity.
It’s overwhelming to be around so many people after being almost alone for the past thirteen months, so I gravitate toward the guys.
Theo notices and pulls me back against his side, even though Ethan is nowhere to be seen.
I should put a stop to this, but I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to remember why.