Chapter Sixteen
Vor
Commander Vor stared at Lena. He had stopped thinking of her as his captive or his woman.
She was her own person, a woman of incredible beauty and aching fragility, but that was just the surface.
Inside, she held so much more that Vor was just beginning to discover.
In short, Lena was magnificent. And she had just stood up to him in the most shocking and arousing way.
Vor cleared his throat. “I believe you, Lena. But your brother is still one man. And no matter how much power he wields, he cannot get through the ward. We are fine.” He looked at the soldiers in the command room.
“But the ward stays up until I say otherwise. No more surprise attacks and definitely no raids. Understood?” He settled his gaze on the lieutenant commander.
“Yes, Commander,” Zucar said.
“Who did the wingless Aethari kill?”
Zucar frowned. “Uh, I think his name was Private Huhn.”
“You think?!” Vor growled. “The man just lost his life under your orders, and you're not sure what his name was?”
Zucar drew back, eyes wide. “Sir, I . . . no, I'm not sure. He was a private. I sent him to do his job. He knew the risks.”
“No, Lieutenant Commander, he did not. None of us could have known the arsenal available to our enemies. He certainly could not have known that a wingless Aethari would summon lightning from the sky and kill him instantly!” He took a deep breath, calming himself.
“I'm not asking you to mourn him. I'm simply asking you to know the names of the soldiers you send into danger.”
The lieutenant commander's expression shivered into fury. “Sir, I'm sorry, but I have to speak up. You are acting oddly. I dare say you do not know the names of the soldiers under your command.”
“Not all of them, no. But if I chose them to undertake a dangerous mission for me, I would make sure I did.” Vor swung and pointed at the man at the other side of the room.
“Sergeant Jurr.” He moved on to the next soldier.
“Lieutenant Greis.” Then so on and so on until he had named every soldier in the room, including Corporal Shensar, the woman who was looking even more attracted to her commander.
“I know all of your names because I picked you to supervise the fort. I also know the names of the soldiers in the kitchens because I spoke with them earlier. Would you like me to list them as well?”
“No.” Zucar drew back. “I'm so sorry, Commander.”
Vor sighed as an ache took hold of his chest. He didn't like the feeling, but he knew it was necessary.
His soldiers, however, wouldn't understand that developing the capability to feel the softer emotions was a good thing.
Would they abandon him? Scurry back underground to the safety of unfeeling Tech?
It was a possibility. They might even report him to General Ankeh.
He had to be more careful and hide his transformation.
At least until they transformed as well.
Which meant he had to punish the LC fairly. Reasonably.
“I see how my words may have misled you, so I will not punish you for insubordination. However, your plan resulted in the death of a soldier. You will report to the stockade tomorrow morning and help guard the prisoners for the next week. And by the end of that week, you had better know the names of the men you sent out today.”
“Yes, Commander!”
“Now, what about the other soldiers?”
“Which soldiers, Commander?”
“The other soldiers you sent out into that camp! The ones who survived. Where are they?”
“Oh, uh, Paradefense captured them, sir.”
“How many?”
“Um.” He looked at Lieutenant Greis.
Lieutenant Greis said, “Six survived and were taken, Commander.”
“Greis, you are in charge of the command room for the next week.”
“Yes, Commander.” Greis slid a worried look Zucar's way.
When Vor saw Zucar's grimace, he pointed at the LC. “Be grateful I haven't demoted you to lieutenant. This isn't a training exercise. We are fighting for the surface!”
“Yes, Commander.” Zucar lifted his chin.
It was a fair punishment, and Zucar knew it. Compared to the whipping Vor could have ordered, it was nothing. Vor hoped it was enough to placate their expectations of him.
“Do we have a voice amplifier?” Vor demanded.
Lena was watching him warily, but she hadn't spoken since her outburst. Vor was eager to know what she was thinking. Unfortunately, he couldn't ask her until they were alone, and there was much for him to do before that could happen.
“A voice amplifier, Commander?” Zucar asked.
“Yes, so I may speak with their commander. I'm going to offer them a trade.”
“A trade?”
“Zucar, are you daft? They have our soldiers, and we have many more of theirs. I'm going to offer them a trade.”
“But that's unnecessary. Our soldiers are as good as dead.”
Vor grabbed the front of Zucar's shirt and yanked him forward.
“Would you have me give up on you if you had been one of the taken? Those soldiers we captured are doing us no good. They don't possess the information we need, and Paradefense has shown that they will not hold back their attack to save their own people. They’re only valuable as pawns to trade for our soldiers. Stop being a fool!” He shoved him away.
Zucar looked relieved to have Vor manhandling him again. That alone told Vor that he had veered too far from his normal behavior. His soldiers would only take so much before they acted against him. Ironically, he had to mistreat them to ensure their loyalty.
“Get the commander a voice amplifier!” Zucar motioned at his team.
“Yes, sir!” several people said at once and rushed out the door.
“I'm going to escort my guest back to my quarters,” Vor said to Zucar. “I want a list of our Paradefense prisoners and that voice amplifier waiting for me on the wall walk.”
“Yes, Commander!” Zucar saluted him.
Barely restraining himself from shaking his head, Vor went to Lena. “If you would come with me, Lena?”
She nodded and followed him out the door. They spent the walk to their quarters in silence, but as soon as Vor shut the door behind them, she lashed out.
“You're barbaric!”
Vor sighed and went to sit on the couch. “How am I barbaric?”
Lena followed him but didn't sit down. Instead, she stood before him with her hands on her hips. “The way you treated that man. You were going to strangle him, and then you grabbed him—”
“He ordered an attack without my permission,” Vor interrupted. “Because of it, a man died. And Zucar didn't even know the man's name!” Vor rubbed at his chest. There was a strange ache there. “I could have had him whipped. Instead, I gave him a minor punishment, and I did it for you, Lena!”
Lena blinked. Stepped back. “You're a bully.”
“A bully?” He laughed and leaned back to look up at the ceiling.
“Maybe I was once, but I've changed.” He lowered his head to meet her gaze.
“That's not how I wanted to handle that situation, but it's how a Nethren commander would have. No, actually, a Nethren commander—the old me—would have had Zucar whipped publicly to make an example out of him, and then stripped him of his status.”
Lena gasped.
“That's what everyone in that room expected. They are now unsure of me because of my mercy. But when I saw your horror, it reminded me that I'm not that man anymore.”
“You needed to be reminded that you're different?” she scoffed.
“Yes. I was furious with Zucar because he got our soldiers captured and one of them killed, but also because he put you in danger, Lena. Rage made me forget myself. My emotions took control of me. That alone speaks to the changes in me. That you calmed my rage with a look says even more.” Vor stood but didn't approach her, keeping a foot between them for her comfort.
“I would have sent our soldiers out under the cover of night, negating the need for an attack as a distraction.
No one would have gotten hurt if it had gone to plan.
You certainly wouldn't have been put in danger.” He lifted a hand toward her and then dropped it.
“Seeing you afraid . . . it . . .” He rubbed at his chest again.
“I don't know what this feeling is. Why does my chest feel tight when I think about you and that dead soldier? It almost burns, running up my throat, and my belly feels strange.”
Lena looked from his face to his hand, and back again. “You . . . dear, convergence. That's regret. You regret what happened.”
“Regret. Perhaps. I regret that Zucar sent those men before confirming with me, but I don't think that's all of it.” Vor lowered his gaze as he searched himself. “I've regretted my actions before, but I've never felt like this. This is so much worse.”
“There are levels of regret, as there are for every emotion. I think you're feeling more than you have before, and so your regret goes deeper. The loss of life means more to you now.”
Vor looked at Lena and frowned. “You like that I feel this way.”
“I don't like you feeling bad, but I approve of it.” Lena looked away. “You should feel bad when someone dies. All life is important.”
“All life?” Vor held out his arms. “Even mine?”
“Of course, even yours.” She looked back at him, her eyes narrowed. “Do you think I want you dead? I don't want anyone to die!”
“Would you share the surface with us?”
“If you don't hurt magic or people, I don't see why you shouldn't be allowed up here.”
That horrible feeling inside Vor diminished. “Then we agree. There's no need for us to fight.”
“Or for you to keep me here.”
Vor smiled at Lena's spirit. “You know that's not true. I need you, Lena. The more I learn about you, the more I see why Source led me to you.”
Lena shook her head. “I think you're wrong. I think your Source led you to Liria. She's the strong one. She may have been able to help you and your people. She has the status and courage to fight the council. Not me. Liria was the one you needed. But you're too late. She loves Thaxvarien.”
“No, I never needed Liria. She would have torn me apart before feeling an ounce of kinship with me. But you saw the truth from the start. You listened despite the lies you've been fed. You see me, Lena.”
Her face twitched as she looked away. “I'm not a soldier.”
“But I am. I don't need you to fight. I need your compassion.
Your ability to see past what you've been taught to the truth.
You have a heart stronger and more beautiful than anyone on Para.
It's compelling. Irresistible. I . . .” He lifted his hand to touch her and then remembered that he shouldn't.
His hand fell away. “When I first saw visions of Liria, they angered me.
The more I watched her, the more I wanted to fight her.
She made me furious. I wanted to subdue her and use her to save my people.
But within minutes of meeting you, all of that changed.
I changed. I heard your voice, and I came alive.
It felt like stepping into sunlight for the first time, but that brightness didn't fade.
It only grew stronger. All thoughts of force and submission vanished from my mind.
I knew I could never hurt you. You were born to be treasured, and I was born to protect you.
I don't want your sister. I never did. I want you, Lena.”
As Lena gaped at him, Vor left.