Chapter Twenty-Four
Lena
Lena sat on the couch, her knees bent, feet on the cushions, and arms around her legs.
The inside of her chest was a spinning mass of anxiety.
She couldn't see the exchange of prisoners, but something big must have happened because she'd heard shouting.
Then the Nethren had returned and questioned Vor about something he'd done.
And he had blamed her for it.
Not only had Vor declared that Lena was the reason he could do whatever feat he had accomplished, but he promised them she would help them do it as well.
What was going on? And why did those Nethren soldiers want her to sing for them?
Had the whole fortress heard her sing? Lena hadn't thought she'd been loud enough for her song to carry so far.
Something shivered over her skin, and Lena had the oddest sense that Source—she didn't know which one—had carried her voice to as many people as it could. Anxiety flowed out of her.
The outer lock clicked, and Lena shot to her feet. “Vor?”
“Yes, it's me. Unlock the door, Lena.”
“One moment.” She went to the door and unlocked it with shaking hands. She waited a few seconds, and when nothing happened, she opened the door.
Vor stood there looking as unsteady as she felt. Instead of pushing past her, he waited. Realizing she was blocking him, Lena moved aside, and Vor came in, quickly shutting the door behind him and locking it. Then he went to the couch and fell upon the cushions.
“Vor? I couldn't see you past the wall. What happened out there?”
“That is indeed the question everyone wants answered, Lena.” Vor looked up at her.
Lena hesitated halfway to him. Vor's hands, spread over his thighs, were shaking. When he saw where she was looking, he clenched his hands into fists. What was this? Was he scared?
Warily, she sat down in the chair beside the couch. “Something happened, and you blamed me. Why?”
“I credited you,” he corrected.
“Vor, what happened?”
Vor stared at Lena for a few long seconds and then looked down at his metal hand. “A miracle.”
Lena leaned back. Monsters didn't get miracles.
Or maybe they did—from Technology. But what kind of miracle would Vor credit to her?
It wouldn't be from Tech. If it had been, he wouldn't be so unnerved.
Strangely enough, the most unnerving thing for Lena was how her stomach clenched in rebellion when she thought the word “monsters.”
Vor wasn't a monster. Not at all like the heartless living machines she'd been raised to fear. He was a man like any other. The only difference was his metal flesh. Well, and his inability to feel the more tender emotions. Nethren couldn't love. And yet, he behaved as a man who was . . .
No! Lena wouldn't allow herself to believe that Vor was falling in love with her.
That was a dangerous deception—a lie that could lead to her destruction.
It couldn't be true. Vor had disproved a lot of things Lena had believed about Nethren, but not that one.
He confirmed they didn't feel things like Medeans.
Confirmed it, and swore that Lean was changing it—changing him.
She'd seen him feel regret and jealousy.
Were those softer emotions? Certainly, monsters wouldn't feel regret.
Jealousy, perhaps, but not guilt. Maybe Vor was changing.
Or maybe it was merely his imagination. Was that why he was crediting her with his miracle?
He wanted to believe that she could make him feel something he wasn't born to feel.
Vor wanted it so badly that he gave her credit for something she hadn't done.
“It would have gone smoothly,” he whispered.
Yanked out of her thoughts, Lena refocused on Vor. “But?”
“That suitor of yours was there. Rallorival.”
“He's not my suitor!” Lena hissed. Then she sighed. “What did he do?”
“He attacked me when I turned to leave.”
“He attacked you from behind? That dishonorable asshole!”
Vor's eyes went wide, and his lips twitched. “Yes, indeed. I thought the same. It was a coward's move.”
Lena cleared her throat. “Sorry. I don't like him. He was a rebel who fought against his own people.”
“What?” Vor leaned forward. “If that's true, what is he doing here?”
“He thought he was rebelling on behalf of Thaxvarien, but he was wrong. When Thaxvarien went to Icara to stop the uprising, Rallorival gave his allegiance to Thaxvarien and followed him back to the surface.”
“Interesting,” Vor murmured.
“Did he hurt you?” Lena didn't like the concern that trembled in her belly. She shouldn't worry about her captor.
“No, Lena. That was the miracle.”
She really didn't like the way Vor was staring at her. “What happened?”
“I held up an arm to ward him off. It was instinctual, as was my thought of self-defense. It was this arm I raised.” Vor lifted his metal arm.
“As I bent it to block the blow, it transformed, the metal spreading and merging into a shield. His sword glanced off. Then I lowered my arm, and the shield became an arm once more.”
Lena blinked. Gaped at his hand. Looked up at Vor. “Impossible. That sounds like the beginning of a convergence.”
“Yes, General Caden said something similar. But I'm a person. People can't be converged, can they?”
“No. Well, I don't know. Thaxvarien converges living things, but only plants and the elements, not people.”
“So, it wasn't a convergence. It was a transformation.”
“Why do you think I had something to do with it?”
“From the moment I first held you, Lena, I've felt different.
Not just my emotions, but my body as well.
The tech parts of me feel as if they've been out of alignment.
They worked, but not at their peak performance.
Not until I held you. Being around you seems to—I don't know—recalibrate me.
I feel more like myself around you. As if this was what I was born to be.
And I'm not the only one who feels that way.”
Recalibrate? Alignment? This was insane. Lena shook her head. “I'm not even that good at converging. How could I align your tech parts?”
“You're special, Lena. I don't know how you do it, if it's the vibrations of your body or perhaps those in your voice, but you tune our bodies to their proper frequency.” Vor blinked and cocked his head. “Frequency.”
“What about it?”
He cleared his throat. “Nothing. It's just a conversation I had earlier. I forgot frequencies apply to sound.” He grinned. “It would make sense if your voice were the harmonizer.”
“Tuned by a tune,” she whispered.
“Exactly.” He held his hand out to her. “Lena, you saved my life today. Thank you.”
Lena laid her hand on his, and Vor gently squeezed it before lifting it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand as he held her gaze. Lena held his stare until she realized what she was allowing and jerked her hand away.
Vor held up his hands, palms out. “It was just a kiss on your hand.”
Lena folded her hands together, subconsciously rubbing the spot he had kissed. “Don't do that.”
Vor nodded. Then he leaned back with a sigh. “They want to meet you now.”
“Who?”
“My soldiers. They wanted me to tell you they're looking forward to hearing you sing again.” He chuckled. “You'll have them all wrapped around your little finger in no time.”
Lena went still, a strange fluttering rising in her chest. It reminded her a little of what she felt when she looked at Evellor, but this fluttering was more intense.
It was impossible to ignore. She wasn't a fool or ignorant of the softer emotions like Vor.
Lena knew what the feeling was. She simply didn't want to accept it.
In desperation, she searched for another explanation. There was none.
She was falling for Vor.
Impossible. Ridiculous. Traitorous! But the man made her feel safe.
Again, ridiculous. Vor had captured her.
He had bitten her! The bastard had used his bite to paralyze her so she couldn't fight back when he carried her away.
She was a prisoner. And yet, Vor had reasons for what he'd done.
Noble reasons. Lena hadn't believed him at first, but now, after this miraculous event, she was starting to.
With that belief came a release of the emotions she'd been restraining.
Her attraction for Vor came rushing forward along with her growing admiration for him.
All he wanted was a better life for his people. It was hard to fault that.
No! No, no, no! Lena couldn't let this happen.
She tried to pull back on her feelings as she might the reins of a horse, but this stallion was wild and impossible to tame.
It raced off with her, quickening her heart and awakening urges she'd never felt before.
Not even for Evellor. The skin Vor had kissed tingled.
Riding that wild horse of emotion drove all reason from her mind. The reins were gone. Breathless, she asked, “And what about you? Will I have you wrapped around my little finger?”
Vor went still, his expression frozen, not in shock, but in wariness, as if he were watching a deer he didn't want to startle. “Lena, don't you know? Haven't I been clear enough? I am already yours. I'm wrapped around everything you are—fingers to toes.”
Lena shivered. “I . . . I can't do this. You and I, we're impossible.”
“And yet, here we are. You've helped me do the impossible. Imagine what else we could do together if you accepted who you are.”
“No.” Lena stood. “No, we cannot be together.”
“Why not?” He stood as well.
“I cannot love a man who has no love inside him.”
“I am not that man anymore. I feel things I've never felt before. I know I can love you, Lena.”
“You do not know what you're feeling.” She waved a hand at him. “I have to name your emotions. So, why do you think you're qualified enough to recognize love?”
Vor grimaced. “I'm feeling very protective of you. That must be the start of it.”
“You've felt that way from the beginning. Or so you say.”
“I think about you all the time.”
“That's called infatuation.”
“I want things with you that I've never wanted before. I want a future with you, Lena.”
“Only because the Source of Technology told you to.”
“It did not tell me what to want.”
“Want is not love. It's about possession, while love is the opposite.”
“Then how am I supposed to know?!” He threw his hands up in frustration. “How will I know when I love you?”
“You will know when you feel something for me that I don't have to explain to you.”