9. Cian
Cian
I deposited Skylar’s limp form on my bed, then went to the kitchen. Sean was sitting up, his head leaning against the wall.
I hunched down beside him. “You okay?”
He opened his bleary eyes, his voice heavy with sleep. “I think…she may…have slipped something…into the soup.”
I helped him to his feet, staggering under his unsteady weight. “No shit, Sherlock,” I grunted as I walked with him. “Told you she was up to something.”
I sat him on the bed in his room and kneeled in front of him. “Stay awake, Sean. I need you. She’s freezing cold and hurt.”
He frowned, squinting at me. “Warm…warm her up…slowly.”
“How?”
“Shower. Lukewarm.” He sighed heavily. “Then warmer.”
“Okay.”
“Hurt?”
“She hit her head. The cold stopped the bleeding, though.”
“Clean it. Keep checking her. Maybe…concussion…can’t let her be alone…”
“I will.”
“Have to sleep,” he mumbled, and then he was out. I made sure he was comfortable on the bed, then staggered back to my room to help Skylar.
I sat down on the bed, still feeling the effects of the drugs she used.
The only saving grace was I hadn’t consumed as much of the soup as Sean had.
Otherwise, we’d all be screwed. I stood, looking down at Skylar.
She looked so innocent with her eyes shut and unconscious.
Anger started to build when I thought of how wrong this could have gone. All three of us might be dead.
I tried to be gentle as I pulled her off the bed and carried her cold body into the bathroom, deciding anger was an effective antidote to the drugs, probably as good as sleep was.
I peeled off her jacket and shoes, growing even angrier as I felt the icy temperature of her skin.
Growling, I tore off her shirt and pants, not caring when the seams wrenched apart under my fisted hands.
I left her underwear in place, lifting her into the tub and letting the lukewarm water pour over her as I yanked off my own clothes.
I stepped in with her and pulled her up against my chest, holding her under the spray.
She shivered and shook, beginning to fight me, and I tightened my hold.
“No, Skylar. You have to do this. You’ll feel better.
I promise,” I crooned into her ear as I ran my hands over her.
Up and down her arms and legs, adjusting the temperature slowly until it was warm and she had stopped shuddering.
I pressed the plug down and allowed the warm water to rise in the tub around us.
Skylar became limp again, leaning heavily into my chest.
“Why, Kitten?” I murmured. “I was trying so hard to keep you safe. Why did you have to run from me?”
The slow drip of the faucet was the only sound.
I leaned back, trying to gather my strength.
I needed to get us out of the tub, get Skylar dried off and into bed, then I could relax.
We were all going to sleep for a while. I had already decided Skylar would be staying with me in my bed so I would be able to keep an eye on her.
Not only did I have to make sure she didn’t wake up and try to take off again, I had to check her head wound.
I exhaled a deep rush of air, my chest contracting and shifting Skylar. She stirred a little and then sank back into the warm water against me.
Two soft words escaped her mouth. So soft, I almost missed them.
“I’m sorry.”
Skylar
I was warm. The mattress beneath me was perfect.
Plush but supportive. The blankets were soft, and they smelled so good.
The pillow was a little hard, though. And slightly itchy—it tickled my cheek.
It also made a noise. Thump. Thump. Thump.
A steady, unending beat under my ear. Realizing where I was, I peeled open my eyes.
For the second time in two days, I woke up in Cian’s arms.
I was in his bed, wrapped in his embrace, and until two seconds ago, I had been asleep on his bare chest. The ticklish pillow was his chest hair, and the thumps were his heartbeat.
I was in bed with Cian.
How the hell did I get in bed with Cian?
I shut my eyes as the events of the last couple days filtered through my aching head.
My reaction to Cian’s kisses had shocked me.
I liked them—I more than liked them.
They were thrilling. Heady. Enthralling. They made me feel things I’d never felt before.
I wanted more.
I wanted to feel him against me, his lips on mine, his hands caressing my body.
I knew without a doubt, if Sean hadn’t interrupted us, we would have both lost ourselves in the moment.
I also realized I actually had feelings for him.
At some point, in the blink of an eye, he had ceased being the man who kidnapped me and became… Cian.
They were feelings I shouldn’t have.
He was a murderer. A criminal.
I couldn’t trust him.
Regardless of what he said, I had no idea what was going to happen to me when all this was over. He said I wasn’t going back to the streets.
But he never said where I would be going.
I sat up all night going over every detail of the time I’d been here—with him.
The detached, cruel look on his face when he murdered the man, who I now knew was an agent. One of the good guys.
His coldness and the way his eyes would flash with that dangerous gleam as he uttered his subtle threats with his gun hanging in his hand, his fingers stroking the cold metal nonchalantly.
His overbearing manner at times. His callous words.
But then…he would laugh.
His face would transform into one of breathtaking, rugged beauty. His gaze would soften, and he would look at me in a way that made my breath catch in my throat.
He made sure I was safe and warm. He brought me books and teased me. He let his guard down and played cards and games to keep me company. He acted like a kid and had a snowball fight with me, his rich laughter echoing in the cold air.
His green eyes shone with mirth when I’d insult him. Amusement was the only emotion he showed at my attempts to leave. Not once had he punished me for trying to escape. In fact, he was far more worried over my being hurt than the reason I was hurt in the first place.
Although I was pretty sure, after what I’d done, that was about to change.
After I’d run from him last night, I’d locked myself in my bathroom, sitting on the floor, shocked at the desire his mouth had stirred in me.
Shocked how much I wanted him. I knew I was standing on the top of a dangerous slope—one I could easily fall down.
He was everything my father fought against his entire life.
He would be horrified if he were still alive and knew I’d lost my heart to a callous criminal.
I had to get out of here before that happened. I had to get away from him. As I stood, my small bag fell to the floor, the Tampax rolling out. Picking them up, I stilled as a plan formed.
It was my only shot. My last one.
Carefully, I’d pulled open a tube, looking at the small pills in the palm of my hand—the remainder of the sleeping pills I had kept hidden. I had enough of the sedative that I could knock them both out. I just had to figure out how to get it into some food.
When I had been outside earlier, I’d noticed a field stretching out in front of the house.
Way in the distance, I saw hydro poles, indicating some sort of road existed.
If I cut across the field, I could get to the road where the poles were.
Find another house or hitch a ride and be gone by the time they woke up.
I could get as far away from here as possible.
Far enough away Cian couldn’t find me. I wasn’t important enough for him to search too long.
He’d forget about me eventually.
I’d ignored the little voice in my head asking me if I’d ever forget him.
I shifted in Cian’s arms. They tightened, his hand pushing my face into his chest. I felt the brush of his lips against my head, but he didn’t say anything.
Gathering my courage, I lifted my head, expecting to see anger in his green stare. But his gaze was soft, filled with concern and sadness.
His voice was low in the silence of the room. “How’s your head?”
“Okay,” I whispered, trying not to grimace. It ached like a bugger.
“Liar,” he murmured. He traced my cheek with his finger. “You could have killed us all, Kitten.”
I shook my head slowly. “I was careful with the dosage.”
His eyes darkened. “And what about you? If I’d been knocked out as long as Sean, you’d still be lying unconscious out in a field.
You would have died from exposure.” He exhaled heavily.
“Not that you would’ve ever made it across that field, even if you hadn’t fallen. What the hell were you thinking?”
I shrugged, unsure how to tell him it didn’t matter. “There’s no one left on this earth who cares about me, so my life means nothing,” I whispered, matter-of-fact.
“Don’t,” he hissed. “Don’t act like your life isn’t valuable. Do you really think I could live with myself if that happened?”
Suddenly, he shifted, and I found myself pinned under him, his hands gripping my shoulders tightly. “Why did you run, Skylar? You’re safe here with me. Don’t you know that yet? Don’t you get it?”
Tears filled my eyes, running down the side of my face into my hair as I shook my head.
“No-no, I don’t! I don’t know anything—you don’t tell me anything.
You say I’m safe, yet you threaten me. You act like I know how you’re feeling or what you’re planning, but I don’t!
You overwhelm me, Cian. I’m confused and lost and so scared.
I’m scared of you…and I’m scared of how I feel about you… ”
His face changed, softening, and his grip loosened. “Don’t be scared.”
“I don’t know how to be anything but scared anymore,” I sobbed.
He rolled, pulling me against his chest, running long, soothing strokes on my back. “I’m sorry,” he repeated over and over. “I’m so sorry.”
I cried until I had no tears left. Cian handed me a handful of tissues, smiling indulgently as I wiped my face and blew my nose.
“I do care,” he admitted quietly. “You mean more than you know.”
I stared at him in silence.
He shook his head in frustration. “Sean was right. I should have told you the whole story.”
“Will you?”
He drew in a deep breath. “Will you tell me yours?”
“Yes.”
He pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll go check on Sean. I think he took the brunt of your drugging. Then we’ll talk.”
I nodded, shamefaced. “He might be out a while.”
“He is gonna be so pissed at you—not that I blame him.”
“I know.” I hesitated. “Why aren’t you?”
“Because it’s my fault. If I’d listened to Sean, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“I’m sorry,” I offered, repentant. “I panicked.”
“Do you have any more?”
I knew what he was asking. I nodded truthfully. “Yes.”
“Why do you have sleeping pills?”
“They were my dad’s. I kept them in case.”
His brow furrowed. “In case?”
“In case I couldn’t take life anymore,” I answered honestly.
His fast inhale of air was sharp. He grabbed my face, holding it between his rough hands.
“It all goes—today. You can’t even think like that, Kitten.
” His voice broke. “I can’t even—” He yanked me into his arms, holding me tight.
“Your life is going to change now, I promise. I’ll look after you.
” He pulled my head back, forcing me to meet his distressed gaze. “Please tell me you believe that.”
The honesty blazing from his eyes left me no doubt he was telling the truth. “Yes,” I whispered with a small smile. “Yes, I believe you, Cian.”
His mouth on mine was hard and desperate and far too brief. He pulled away and stood, grabbing a shirt.
“I’ll check on Sean. I want those pills. All of them.” He paused at the door. “Stay there. We’ll do this when I get back.”
I nodded and he left.
I stared after him, my fingers pressed against my mouth, still feeling the possession of his touch.
Knowing, somehow, when he came back, things were going to change.
My whole world was going to change.
Part of me wondered if I was ready for it.